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Bwana
10-15-2004, 11:49 AM
I just got this from my brother and thought I would pass it on. :)

Last Thursday I put out one of my Bush/Cheney signs in my front yard. Between midnight and 3:00 a.m. someone stole it. On Friday night I put out sign No. 2. Since I didn't have to get up early, I thought my dog and I would "stake out" our sign. This time I put the sign a little closer to the gate leading to my backyard. With my dog on an extra long leash, I planted myself on a lawn chair and read "Unfit for Command" by flashlight until about 1:00 a.m. Here comes the fun part . . . I noticed that the car coming down the street was slowing down and pulling over to the curb right next to my yard. Sure enough, he gets out of his car and heads right for my sign. Just as he was about to uproot and desecrate it, I opened my gate and let my dog make the initial introduction! As he ran to hide behind the rear end of his car, I promptly moved to the driver-side door, which was still open. It was a fairly nice car with power everything and still running. While my dog continued to "introduce" herself, I rolled up the window and hit the power door lock button. With that, I slammed the door, grabbed my Bush sign and headed into the back yard.

And now for the "rest of the story." About 40 minutes later, I heard a knock at the door. I opened the door to one of our city's finest . . . the Vancouver Police Department. The officer asked me what was going on and when I told him, he could not stop laughing! I followed him out to the perp's car and stood there while he asked the guy a few more questions. Upon learning that the guy lived a couple of streets down, I -- knowing what was about to happen -- asked him, "Why do you have Oregon plates on your car if you live just down the street (here in Vancouver, Wash.)?" Oregon has no sales tax, so often Washington residents will buy and register cars in Oregon to avoid paying sales tax . . . it's a crime and the fine is pretty stiff. Here comes the best part. . . . The look on this guy's face told me he knew he was about to get busted. When the officer asked for his license and registration, the "Democrat" mumbled that (his license) was suspended. Just for kicks and giggles I asked the officer if he smelled any alcohol coming from the guy! The officer looked at me, smiled and promptly gave him a field breathalyzer test. Guess what? You got it, he blew a ..10, legally drunk in the state of Washington.

DUI, illegal registration, driving on a suspended license, and the brand of "MORON," all 'cause he hates Bush!

Sincerely,

Cost of Bush signs: $5.95 each
Cost of Flashlight batteries: $3.95/Pack
Seeing a Leftwing Numbskull carted off to the hoosegow: Priceless.

Kraut
10-15-2004, 11:52 AM
:clap: :clap:

KCFalcon59
10-15-2004, 12:04 PM
That is absolutely hilarious.

Radar Chief
10-15-2004, 12:04 PM
I just got this from my brother and thought I would pass it on. :)

Last Thursday I put out one of my Bush/Cheney signs in my front yard. Between midnight and 3:00 a.m. someone stole it. On Friday night I put out sign No. 2. Since I didn't have to get up early, I thought my dog and I would "stake out" our sign. This time I put the sign a little closer to the gate leading to my backyard. With my dog on an extra long leash, I planted myself on a lawn chair and read "Unfit for Command" by flashlight until about 1:00 a.m. Here comes the fun part . . . I noticed that the car coming down the street was slowing down and pulling over to the curb right next to my yard. Sure enough, he gets out of his car and heads right for my sign. Just as he was about to uproot and desecrate it, I opened my gate and let my dog make the initial introduction! As he ran to hide behind the rear end of his car, I promptly moved to the driver-side door, which was still open. It was a fairly nice car with power everything and still running. While my dog continued to "introduce" herself, I rolled up the window and hit the power door lock button. With that, I slammed the door, grabbed my Bush sign and headed into the back yard.

And now for the "rest of the story." About 40 minutes later, I heard a knock at the door. I opened the door to one of our city's finest . . . the Vancouver Police Department. The officer asked me what was going on and when I told him, he could not stop laughing! I followed him out to the perp's car and stood there while he asked the guy a few more questions. Upon learning that the guy lived a couple of streets down, I -- knowing what was about to happen -- asked him, "Why do you have Oregon plates on your car if you live just down the street (here in Vancouver, Wash.)?" Oregon has no sales tax, so often Washington residents will buy and register cars in Oregon to avoid paying sales tax . . . it's a crime and the fine is pretty stiff. Here comes the best part. . . . The look on this guy's face told me he knew he was about to get busted. When the officer asked for his license and registration, the "Democrat" mumbled that (his license) was suspended. Just for kicks and giggles I asked the officer if he smelled any alcohol coming from the guy! The officer looked at me, smiled and promptly gave him a field breathalyzer test. Guess what? You got it, he blew a ..10, legally drunk in the state of Washington.

DUI, illegal registration, driving on a suspended license, and the brand of "MORON," all 'cause he hates Bush!

Sincerely,

Cost of Bush signs: $5.95 each
Cost of Flashlight batteries: $3.95/Pack
Seeing a Leftwing Numbskull carted off to the hoosegow: Priceless.

Oh, thatís good. Iíve gotta copy that and send it to my sis.

Taco John
10-15-2004, 12:07 PM
Hey, that's where I live...

Braincase
10-15-2004, 12:10 PM
Damn. That's worthy of Drudge front page. Bwana, you are going to get press on this, you know...

Wrasse
10-15-2004, 12:12 PM
:thumb:

I just hope he's not some looney who is going to retaliate. Hopefully he's learned his lesson...but this one doesn't seem to be the brightest of sorts.

Don't f*#k (f@#k) with Bwana! :)

Rukdafaidas
10-15-2004, 12:13 PM
Hey, that's where I live...
When did you get out? :)

Chief Henry
10-15-2004, 12:21 PM
I just got this from my brother and thought I would pass it on. :)

Last Thursday I put out one of my Bush/Cheney signs in my front yard. Between midnight and 3:00 a.m. someone stole it. On Friday night I put out sign No. 2. Since I didn't have to get up early, I thought my dog and I would "stake out" our sign. This time I put the sign a little closer to the gate leading to my backyard. With my dog on an extra long leash, I planted myself on a lawn chair and read "Unfit for Command" by flashlight until about 1:00 a.m. Here comes the fun part . . . I noticed that the car coming down the street was slowing down and pulling over to the curb right next to my yard. Sure enough, he gets out of his car and heads right for my sign. Just as he was about to uproot and desecrate it, I opened my gate and let my dog make the initial introduction! As he ran to hide behind the rear end of his car, I promptly moved to the driver-side door, which was still open. It was a fairly nice car with power everything and still running. While my dog continued to "introduce" herself, I rolled up the window and hit the power door lock button. With that, I slammed the door, grabbed my Bush sign and headed into the back yard.

And now for the "rest of the story." About 40 minutes later, I heard a knock at the door. I opened the door to one of our city's finest . . . the Vancouver Police Department. The officer asked me what was going on and when I told him, he could not stop laughing! I followed him out to the perp's car and stood there while he asked the guy a few more questions. Upon learning that the guy lived a couple of streets down, I -- knowing what was about to happen -- asked him, "Why do you have Oregon plates on your car if you live just down the street (here in Vancouver, Wash.)?" Oregon has no sales tax, so often Washington residents will buy and register cars in Oregon to avoid paying sales tax . . . it's a crime and the fine is pretty stiff. Here comes the best part. . . . The look on this guy's face told me he knew he was about to get busted. When the officer asked for his license and registration, the "Democrat" mumbled that (his license) was suspended. Just for kicks and giggles I asked the officer if he smelled any alcohol coming from the guy! The officer looked at me, smiled and promptly gave him a field breathalyzer test. Guess what? You got it, he blew a ..10, legally drunk in the state of Washington.

DUI, illegal registration, driving on a suspended license, and the brand of "MORON," all 'cause he hates Bush!

Sincerely,

Cost of Bush signs: $5.95 each
Cost of Flashlight batteries: $3.95/Pack
Seeing a Leftwing Numbskull carted off to the hoosegow: Priceless.




BRILLIANT

Bwana
10-15-2004, 12:23 PM
Hey, that's where I live...
Taco, was that you? One to many homebrews and look at you! :hmmm:

jettio
10-15-2004, 12:35 PM
Must be something in dem Bwana genes that attracts various and asundry kooks and vandals.

You brother shouldn't waste his time reading stupid books but gotta give him credit for defending his turf.

stumppy
10-15-2004, 01:12 PM
When did you get out? :)

Beat me to it.
ROFL

Raiderhader
10-15-2004, 01:18 PM
ROFL That is quality sh!t.

Phobia
10-15-2004, 01:55 PM
Holy crap - somebody's house is going to burn down. I would NOT want to be put in that position - not in this day and age.

homey
10-15-2004, 01:58 PM
Not a bad tale. The mastercard bit has to go though.

KC Jones
10-15-2004, 02:19 PM
I had no idea your brother was George Carlin :)

Bwana
10-15-2004, 02:32 PM
I had no idea your brother was George Carlin :)

Me neither ROFL

He just sent it down the pipe and I thought I would pass it along. :)

alpha_omega
10-15-2004, 02:41 PM
Right on....Bwana and dog....Liberal Hunters!

Bearcat2005
10-15-2004, 02:44 PM
Thats classic! ROFL

Chief Henry
10-15-2004, 03:02 PM
Rep for bwana. His stories are the best. I wonder what he's like to drink beer with ?

BroWhippendiddle
10-15-2004, 03:23 PM
Funny!!!!

Big Rep!!

Pitt Gorilla
10-15-2004, 03:54 PM
Right on....Bwana and dog....Liberal Hunters!I didn't see anything about Bwana hunting liberals. Where was that?!?

Donger
10-15-2004, 03:55 PM
I wonder what he's like to drink beer with ?

Ewww. Use a glass.

Cannibal
10-15-2004, 03:58 PM
The thing that struck me was that the guy was sitting around outside at 1:00 am reading "Unfit for Command" by flashlight.

No offense, but that is the definition of "jagoff" in my book. :)

Not to condone the actions of the thief stealing political signs.

Pitt Gorilla
10-15-2004, 04:03 PM
Similar story:

Political itch: Rollinsford woman using poison ivy to discourage sign thief

By JEREMIAH ROOD
Somersworth Bureau Chief

ROLLINSFORD ó In the presidential battleground state of New Hampshire, the fight to influence voters in November now includes chemical weapons.

Angry after the rash of thefts of her John Kerry campaign signs, a local woman has turned to the plant world for a way to deter people from taking her signs: poison ivy.

For weeks now, Salme Perry has draped and wiped the Kerry signs surrounding her home with the irritant plant. Her next step is to create a more concentrated tincture to literally paint her signs with poison ivy oil.

Perry and her husband Ken live in the quintessential three-story white farmhouse, with an attached barn, nestled along Rollins Road.

The Perry homestead stands at the corner of Clement and Rollins roads, a prime political spot because it sees a constant thread of traffic. Perry has posted campaign signs along the edge of her property along both roads.

For three straight Friday nights, Perryís Kerry signs have been swiped; she thinks by ardent Republican supporters.

As evidence, Perry points to one of her signs, which one morning sported a George W. Bush bumper sticker.

"Why?" Perry said. "What else can I do? Iím just really trying to deter them."

As spokesman from the Kerry campaign in Manchester also suspects the GOP.

"The Republican party is notorious for stealing signs, jamming phones and taking illegal campaign contributions," Kerry spokesperson Kathleen Strand said. "The Republican party is notorious for these kind of dirty tricks."

Strand said she has received more than a dozen calls from people in the Seacoast complaining of similar thefts.

On one particular occasion, Strand had a call which described a large number of signs stolen in one night, an act which she called a "raid."

"Itís a shame she has to go to such length to protect her signs," Strand said.

This is Perryís first campaign season, but she said her anger at Bush needs an outlet.

"I have not been politically active until now," Perry said. Before throwing her support and creative energy behind John Kerry, Perry was a passionate Howard Dean supporter.

"I feel very passionate about changing presidents," Perry said. "Why? Thereís a new reason every single day. War in Iraq. What heís doing to the environment. Ö I donít trust him."

While Perry doesnít want to infect anyone purposely with the ivy, if they take her signs she clearly wouldnít be disappointed if they are scratching in a couple days.

According to Web MD, poison ivy causes skin rash called allergic contact dermatitis, which often shows up in red lines or streaks and is marked by fluid-filled bumps or hives.

Perry said she sees the thefts as symptomatic of the great divide the country is feeling.

During the January presidential primary, Kerry took the town with 200 votes. However, if the last state primary is any indication, the community of Rollinsford is pretty nearly divided, with almost equal number of Democrats and Republicans taking to the polls.

"Then thereís a lot of people claiming to be independents," Selectmen Chairman Ed Jansen said. "The town though, some would say, itís getting to be more conservative as the income level goes up."

Locally, Jansen hasnít noticed a particularly strong presence of either campaign, although signs for Bush and Kerry do dot the town.

"In a small town like this you donít need partisan politics to get what you want at the local level," Jansen said.

Local budget battles are fought by people with a personal stake in the game, like those with kids in the schools or elderly folks living on social security, Jansen said.

"First Iíd heard, during this campaign, that signs are being vandalized," Jansen said. "No way do we condone that, but make sure it [the signís placement] complies with local ordinances. We havenít, as selectmen, received any complaints."

Perry has made a formal report to the Rollinsford Police Department, which is looking into the matter.

Fairplay
10-15-2004, 04:04 PM
Excellent story Bwana! Great job!

Pitt Gorilla
10-15-2004, 04:07 PM
Truth or Fiction.com is good for the gullible.

Kerry Supporter Who Stole Bush Campaign Sign is Arrested For Multiple Crimes-Fiction!

Summary of the eRumor
The first-hand story of a Bush supporter in the 2004 presidential race(. x. ) who caught someone stealing a Bush sign from his front yard in Vancouver, Washington.
The thief turned out to be driving without a license, using license plates from Oregon illegally, and driving drunk.

The Truth
According to the Vancouver Police Department, they've gotten inquiries about this one, but it never happened.
This story is an example of a fictional tale being created by someone who didn't think it through.
How many people would post a campaign sign in their front yard then decide to stay up late to conduct surveillance on it?
Also, the writer describes the car as being "nice" and having "power everything."
In most late-model car, the doors would not lock while the ignition is on and the engine running.
Additionally, for the man to have been arrested for drunk driving, someone would have had to observe him committing the crime.
Being intoxicated in the vicinity of your locked car is not illegal.
That and other aspects of the story seem more like the way the writer wished they would be than the way they really were.
It was an attempt to characterize people who support a different political candidate as drunken criminals.

Bwana
10-15-2004, 04:13 PM
Ewww. Use a glass.

What's a glass?:hmmm:

Bwana
10-15-2004, 04:15 PM
Truth or Fiction.com . As stated above, I thought it was a funny story and was passing it down the pike when it was sent to me. BTW, I love the poison Ivy story as well. ROFL Classic

Pitt Gorilla
10-15-2004, 04:18 PM
As stated above, I thought it was a funny story and was passing it down the pike when it was sent to me. BTW, I love the poison Ivy story as well. ROFL ClassicAs far as I can tell, the poison ivy story is legit. Of course, I'd be happy if ALL the signs were stolen...

Bwana
10-15-2004, 04:19 PM
As far as I can tell, the poison ivy story is legit. Of course, I'd be happy if ALL the signs were stolen...

Good Gawd isn't that the truth. On big mother of all bond fires and a fat keg of beer to go with it. :hmmm:

BroWhippendiddle
10-15-2004, 04:21 PM
It was an attempt to characterize people who support a different political candidate as drunken criminals.

You mean they aren't? I thought all dems were drunken criminals, look at your candidate!!!

Even if it wasn't true, it is funny. I enjoyed seeing the idiot democrats as the butt of the joke, it is fitting!!

BroWhippendiddle
10-15-2004, 04:22 PM
As far as I can tell, the poison ivy story is legit. Of course, I'd be happy if ALL the signs were stolen...

I think it will be funny to see the lawsuits that come from this one, that is commonly called a booby trap. When it caused bodily harm it may be considered a felony. Yep, a democrat!!

Cannibal
10-15-2004, 04:31 PM
You mean they aren't? I thought all dems were drunken criminals, look at your candidate!!!

Even if it wasn't true, it is funny. I enjoyed seeing the idiot democrats as the butt of the joke, it is fitting!!

Yeah and all Repubs are redneck, hillbilly dipshits, look at your candidate!!!

BroWhippendiddle
10-16-2004, 09:23 PM
Yeah and all Repubs are redneck, hillbilly dipshits, look at your candidate!!!

Yep, our redneck hillbilly is going to kick your candidates butt!!!


James 5:9 (http://www.biblegateway.com/cgi-bin/bible?passage=JAS+5:9&language=english&version=KJV&showfn=on&showxref=on)
Grudge not one against another, brethren, lest ye be condemned: behold, the judge standeth before the door.

Logical
10-16-2004, 11:06 PM
...
In most late-model car, the doors would not lock while the ignition is on and the engine running.
....


This statement is wrong, many cars with electronic locks will allow the doors to be locked with the engine running.

KCWolfman
10-16-2004, 11:24 PM
Truth or Fiction.com is good for the gullible.

Kerry Supporter Who Stole Bush Campaign Sign is Arrested For Multiple Crimes-Fiction!

Summary of the eRumor
The first-hand story of a Bush supporter in the 2004 presidential race(. x. ) who caught someone stealing a Bush sign from his front yard in Vancouver, Washington.
The thief turned out to be driving without a license, using license plates from Oregon illegally, and driving drunk.

The Truth
According to the Vancouver Police Department, they've gotten inquiries about this one, but it never happened.
This story is an example of a fictional tale being created by someone who didn't think it through.
How many people would post a campaign sign in their front yard then decide to stay up late to conduct surveillance on it?
Also, the writer describes the car as being "nice" and having "power everything."
In most late-model car, the doors would not lock while the ignition is on and the engine running.
Additionally, for the man to have been arrested for drunk driving, someone would have had to observe him committing the crime.
Being intoxicated in the vicinity of your locked car is not illegal.
That and other aspects of the story seem more like the way the writer wished they would be than the way they really were.
It was an attempt to characterize people who support a different political candidate as drunken criminals.
While the story does not seem "legit" who ever reviewed this reasons needs work.

#1. My wife has a 2001 Grand Prix complete with power everything. The doors lock. I have to unlock the door every winter morning while she warms up the car and she sits inside (spare key)
#2. Someone did observe him driving. And he can be arrested for anything. Granted he may not be formally charged, but if he were drunk and his car was running away from his residence, he could be charged and found guilty.

BroWhippendiddle
10-17-2004, 06:56 AM
While the story does not seem "legit" who ever reviewed this reasons needs work.

#1. My wife has a 2001 Grand Prix complete with power everything. The doors lock. I have to unlock the door every winter morning while she warms up the car and she sits inside (spare key)
#2. Someone did observe him driving. And he can be arrested for anything. Granted he may not be formally charged, but if he were drunk and his car was running away from his residence, he could be charged and found guilty.

Whether it is true or not, I think there can be some humor derived at the expense of the democrats. Turn about is fair play, right?

Baby Lee
10-20-2004, 08:27 AM
http://www.rockymountainnews.com/drmn/election/article/0,1299,DRMN_36_3264139,00.html

A Lakewood (CO) Republican stealing campaign signs late one night got nabbed when he ran across a low- hanging driveway chain, fell face first onto a pilfered sign and the concrete and knocked himself unconscious.

Randal Wagner, 50, was loaded into an ambulance, treated at Lutheran Medical Center for abrasions and facial cuts and issued a summons.

Wagner, who unsuccessfully tried to steal a "Dave Thomas" congressional sign that evening, had signs for other Democratic candidates in his Toyota pickup, Wheat Ridge police reported.

Wagner said that he and his wife, Jan, who was driving their pickup that night, "want to apologize to the people" they have offended.

Jan Wagner, who was not cited, said she did not want to discuss what happened. She also is a Republican.

Bwana
10-20-2004, 09:19 AM
http://www.rockymountainnews.com/drmn/election/article/0,1299,DRMN_36_3264139,00.html

See, nothing good can happen from boosting those silly little signs. ROFL

I bet he wishes he had that night to do over again.