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COCKRINGLEADER
11-01-2004, 11:24 PM
on the lighter side...

Comedians on the political campaign
By The Associated Press

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Comedians on the political campaign

Eds: ADDS material from "Late Show with David Letterman"

By The Associated Press

Comedian commentary on the campaign:

"The Tonight Show with Jay Leno":

"Let me tell you something -- if you thought Halloween was scary, wait until next Halloween when we still won't know who won the election."

"Of course tomorrow is Election Day -- how many are voting first thing in the morning? How many are voting later in the day? How many are going to wait until everyone else is in line to vote and then sneak in and get a flu shot?"

"Remember it's not who wins tomorrow that's important it's the fact that this campaign has finally ended. It's hard to believe, just one more day until the Vietnam War is over."

"In the last few days it's really gotten vicious. Like today, the Bush campaign accused the Kerry campaign of distorting their deceptions."

"You know what's interesting -- first Osama said he wanted to kill all Americans. Remember that? Then on the tape he said he just wants to talk to us. You know what I think? This guy's a flip-flopper."

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"Late Show with David Letterman":

"The polls show the presidential candidates in a dead heat. And in case of a tie, the presidency goes to the guy whose brother is governor of Florida."

"Bush is so confident about the election. He's so confident he's going to win that he was campaigning in front of a 'Mission Accomplished' banner."

"Here's what's going to happen at the White House: Every time a state is called for Bush, the twins will do a shot."