PDA

View Full Version : 2004 Election Changed Bob Dole's Life


Bob Dole
11-02-2004, 04:27 PM
Bob Dole has settled in to middle age and has for 20 years considered himself a fiscal conservative and a social liberal. Bob Dole loves his country and while there are certainly some things that Bob Dole feels need to be tweaked, Bob Dole has never thought that far-reaching, sweeping change is a viable solution. (See Hillary's healthcare reform proposals...)

Bob Dole has also never been a big advocate of change-for-the-sake-of-change. You know, that oft heard "I don't like what's been happening for the past 4 years so I'm voting for something different. It can't be any worse" sort of thing.

First, it <b>can</b> be worse. Second, if your QB isn't getting the job done and you switch to the 2nd string, you can go back to the starter at any time. You don't have to wait 4 years.

Anyway, this election cycle has been particularly frustrating for Bob Dole because in addition to a lot things going on in Bob Dole's personal life that directly impact Bob Dole, there's been quite a lot of useless babbling about things that do <b>not</b> impact Bob Dole directly. Bob Dole really has no interest in spending hours each day reading how bad Bush is and searching for any indication of what Kerry might do differently (other than "Not what Bush did"), and Bob Dole is pretty confident that Bush isn't going to suddenly veer left and make significant changes in his administration's policy.

Bob Dole has been pretty content to go with the devil Bob Dole knows instead of a resident of 1313 Mockingbird Lane. Bob Dole has it okay. Things could be better, but things could be a whole lot worse. Bob Dole is content to pay enough taxes to support a family of 4 and figures that he's never going to see a dime of his Social Security no matter who wins.

So Bob Dole takes his leave from his gainful employment and ventures back toward the Dole homestead and the designated polling place, confident that all is right with the world and this should be a painless and relatively speedy process. It's raining all day, which somehow seems appropriate given what's going on, and traffic sucks because rain means "slam on your brakes" in Texican.

Bob Dole deals successfully with a couple of the typical bouts of road rage and of course nobody is the wiser because Bob Dole isn't going to roll the window down and get rained on, and as Bob Dole gets about 2 blocks from Highland Park Elementary, Bob Dole sees a large number of people lining the roadway and milling about. Recognizing the potential for serious injury if someone mills out into the roadway and meets the front bumper of the Acura, Bob Dole decreases speed (which is probably their plan anyway) and reads the signs.

"Kerry-Edwards. A Clear Choice!"

"Veterans for Kerry!"

"MoveOn.org" (Whatever the hell that's all about.)

And it occurs to Bob Dole: There are people standing out here in the rain holding signss for ME. These people knew Bob Dole would be coming here to vote and was planning to vote for Bush. Bob Dole's vote COUNTS!

So after planning all along to vote for Bush and then encountering these soaked citizens who had the personal convictions to stand there and try to coax Bob Dole to vote for Kerry, Bob Dole did just that. Bob Dole voted for John Kerry for President.

Bob Dole learned something about himself today, and supposes that we can all garner a valuable lesson from this experience.

Never underestimate the power of people who don't have ****ing jobs or enough sense to come in out of the rain.

Mr. Kotter
11-02-2004, 04:29 PM
...Never underestimate the power of people who don't have ****ing jobs or enough sense to come in out of the rain.

WTF were Frankie, jAZ, TJ, and jettio doing in fuggin' Texarkana on election day? :hmmm:

Taco John
11-02-2004, 04:53 PM
WTF were Frankie, jAZ, TJ, and jettio doing in fuggin' Texarkana on election day? :hmmm:



Tag teaming your mom...

Baby Lee
11-02-2004, 04:55 PM
I get the sense that you are kidding.

If not, you may have a relative living next door to Taco John.

OldTownChief
11-02-2004, 05:13 PM
Bob Dole has settled in to middle age and has for 20 years considered himself a fiscal conservative and a social liberal. Bob Dole loves his country and while there are certainly some things that Bob Dole feels need to be tweaked, Bob Dole has never thought that far-reaching, sweeping change is a viable solution. (See Hillary's healthcare reform proposals...)

Bob Dole has also never been a big advocate of change-for-the-sake-of-change. You know, that oft heard "I don't like what's been happening for the past 4 years so I'm voting for something different. It can't be any worse" sort of thing.

First, it <b>can</b> be worse. Second, if your QB isn't getting the job done and you switch to the 2nd string, you can go back to the starter at any time. You don't have to wait 4 years.

Anyway, this election cycle has been particularly frustrating for Bob Dole because in addition to a lot things going on in Bob Dole's personal life that directly impact Bob Dole, there's been quite a lot of useless babbling about things that do <b>not</b> impact Bob Dole directly. Bob Dole really has no interest in spending hours each day reading how bad Bush is and searching for any indication of what Kerry might do differently (other than "Not what Bush did"), and Bob Dole is pretty confident that Bush isn't going to suddenly veer left and make significant changes in his administration's policy.

Bob Dole has been pretty content to go with the devil Bob Dole knows instead of a resident of 1313 Mockingbird Lane. Bob Dole has it okay. Things could be better, but things could be a whole lot worse. Bob Dole is content to pay enough taxes to support a family of 4 and figures that he's never going to see a dime of his Social Security no matter who wins.

So Bob Dole takes his leave from his gainful employment and ventures back toward the Dole homestead and the designated polling place, confident that all is right with the world and this should be a painless and relatively speedy process. It's raining all day, which somehow seems appropriate given what's going on, and traffic sucks because rain means "slam on your brakes" in Texican.

Bob Dole deals successfully with a couple of the typical bouts of road rage and of course nobody is the wiser because Bob Dole isn't going to roll the window down and get rained on, and as Bob Dole gets about 2 blocks from Highland Park Elementary, Bob Dole sees a large number of people lining the roadway and milling about. Recognizing the potential for serious injury if someone mills out into the roadway and meets the front bumper of the Acura, Bob Dole decreases speed (which is probably their plan anyway) and reads the signs.

"Kerry-Edwards. A Clear Choice!"

"Veterans for Kerry!"

"MoveOn.org" (Whatever the hell that's all about.)

And it occurs to Bob Dole: There are people standing out here in the rain holding signss for ME. These people knew Bob Dole would be coming here to vote and was planning to vote for Bush. Bob Dole's vote COUNTS!

So after planning all along to vote for Bush and then encountering these soaked citizens who had the personal convictions to stand there and try to coax Bob Dole to vote for Kerry, Bob Dole did just that. Bob Dole voted for John Kerry for President.

Bob Dole learned something about himself today, and supposes that we can all garner a valuable lesson from this experience.

Never underestimate the power of people who don't have ****ing jobs or enough sense to come in out of the rain.


ROFL

The Bad Guy
11-02-2004, 05:17 PM
Tag teaming your mom...

That is F'N great.

Phobia
11-02-2004, 05:18 PM
Shit. I voted for Bush, but had I seen a moveon.org sign at my polling place, I would have gone with Kerry, too.

Ultra Peanut
11-02-2004, 05:18 PM
Tag teaming your mom...With Jackie Gleason?

Mr. Kotter
11-02-2004, 05:20 PM
Tag teaming your mom...

Wow, my mom's been dead for nine years, dude.

You are one sick, sick man.... :shake:

:)

Ultra Peanut
11-02-2004, 05:21 PM
Wow, my mom's been dead for nine years, dude.

You are one sick, sick man.... :shake:

:)I found a photo of the act:

<img src="http://www.cartoonstock.com/lowres/iba0044l.jpg" style="width: 400px; height: 324px; border: 0" alt="" />

Ultra Peanut
11-02-2004, 05:22 PM
Jackie Gleason's dead, too.

Bob Dole
11-02-2004, 05:23 PM
GODDAMNIT YOU PHUQTARDS!

This thread is about a life-altering experience, not your momma.

That's the last time Bob Dole lays his soul bare on the internet...

Baby Lee
11-02-2004, 05:24 PM
Tag teaming your mom...
Whoomp!! Der it id!!!

Taco John
11-02-2004, 05:24 PM
Wow, my mom's been dead for nine years, dude.

You are one sick, sick man.... :shake:

:)



Doh! I forgot to add my smilie face: :p

Mr. Kotter
11-02-2004, 05:25 PM
I found a photo of the act:

<img src="http://www.cartoonstock.com/lowres/iba0044l.jpg" style="width: 400px; height: 324px; border: 0" alt="" />

That guy looks like a heterosexual necrophiliac...couldn't be them.... :hmmm:

Taco John
11-02-2004, 05:25 PM
GODDAMNIT YOU PHUQTARDS!

This thread is about a life-altering experience, not your momma.

That's the last time Bob Dole lays his soul bare on the internet...



We did Bob Dole's naked soul too...

Mr. Kotter
11-02-2004, 05:26 PM
Doh! I forgot to add my smilie face: :p

Nice recovery....for a Donks fan. :)

Baby Lee
11-02-2004, 05:29 PM
Doh! I forgot to add my smilie face: :p
Let me get this straight. You gave SD's dead mom oral pleasure too??

Calcountry
11-02-2004, 05:30 PM
Bob Dole has settled in to middle age and has for 20 years considered himself a fiscal conservative and a social liberal. Bob Dole loves his country and while there are certainly some things that Bob Dole feels need to be tweaked, Bob Dole has never thought that far-reaching, sweeping change is a viable solution. (See Hillary's healthcare reform proposals...)

Bob Dole has also never been a big advocate of change-for-the-sake-of-change. You know, that oft heard "I don't like what's been happening for the past 4 years so I'm voting for something different. It can't be any worse" sort of thing.

First, it <b>can</b> be worse. Second, if your QB isn't getting the job done and you switch to the 2nd string, you can go back to the starter at any time. You don't have to wait 4 years.

Anyway, this election cycle has been particularly frustrating for Bob Dole because in addition to a lot things going on in Bob Dole's personal life that directly impact Bob Dole, there's been quite a lot of useless babbling about things that do <b>not</b> impact Bob Dole directly. Bob Dole really has no interest in spending hours each day reading how bad Bush is and searching for any indication of what Kerry might do differently (other than "Not what Bush did"), and Bob Dole is pretty confident that Bush isn't going to suddenly veer left and make significant changes in his administration's policy.

Bob Dole has been pretty content to go with the devil Bob Dole knows instead of a resident of 1313 Mockingbird Lane. Bob Dole has it okay. Things could be better, but things could be a whole lot worse. Bob Dole is content to pay enough taxes to support a family of 4 and figures that he's never going to see a dime of his Social Security no matter who wins.

So Bob Dole takes his leave from his gainful employment and ventures back toward the Dole homestead and the designated polling place, confident that all is right with the world and this should be a painless and relatively speedy process. It's raining all day, which somehow seems appropriate given what's going on, and traffic sucks because rain means "slam on your brakes" in Texican.

Bob Dole deals successfully with a couple of the typical bouts of road rage and of course nobody is the wiser because Bob Dole isn't going to roll the window down and get rained on, and as Bob Dole gets about 2 blocks from Highland Park Elementary, Bob Dole sees a large number of people lining the roadway and milling about. Recognizing the potential for serious injury if someone mills out into the roadway and meets the front bumper of the Acura, Bob Dole decreases speed (which is probably their plan anyway) and reads the signs.

"Kerry-Edwards. A Clear Choice!"

"Veterans for Kerry!"

"MoveOn.org" (Whatever the hell that's all about.)

And it occurs to Bob Dole: There are people standing out here in the rain holding signss for ME. These people knew Bob Dole would be coming here to vote and was planning to vote for Bush. Bob Dole's vote COUNTS!

So after planning all along to vote for Bush and then encountering these soaked citizens who had the personal convictions to stand there and try to coax Bob Dole to vote for Kerry, Bob Dole did just that. Bob Dole voted for John Kerry for President.

Bob Dole learned something about himself today, and supposes that we can all garner a valuable lesson from this experience.

Never underestimate the power of people who don't have ****ing jobs or enough sense to come in out of the rain.
ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL :clap: I am still laughing.

ENDelt260
11-02-2004, 07:43 PM
Waitaminnit.... did SDChiefsFan just tell us that his mom was a dude?

Bob Dole
11-02-2004, 08:20 PM
Waitaminnit.... did SDChiefsFan just tell us that his mom was a dude?

Nearly 20 posts, and that's the one on which you focus.

Seek counselling.