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View Full Version : This shark is out of control!


Joe Seahawk
11-16-2004, 04:28 PM
geez! :eek: :eek:

http://www.cnn.com/2004/WORLD/africa/11/16/shark.attack.africa.ap/index.html

http://i.a.cnn.net/cnn/2004/WORLD/africa/11/16/shark.attack.africa.ap/story.shark.africa.ap.jpg

Count Alex's Losses
11-16-2004, 04:30 PM
NEW AVATAR!! ROFL

HC_Chief
11-16-2004, 04:31 PM
Cape of Good Hope is swarming with great whites. Enter at your own peril.

The Rick
11-16-2004, 04:31 PM
Keep f*cking doubting Jaws!

KcMizzou
11-16-2004, 04:32 PM
18 feet long... wow. That's badass.

I've always been fascinated by sharks.

*edit.. Oh, umm.. too bad for the old lady.

jiveturkey
11-16-2004, 04:33 PM
It's taking a bad angle.

KcMizzou
11-16-2004, 04:34 PM
Rescue workers were using boats and aircraft to search for the woman's body.

"All efforts to find the lady have been exhausted by a wide and thorough search. We are hoping that police divers will be successful in their efforts," Darren Zimmerman of the National Sea Rescue Institute told the SAPA.

I'll bet I know where the body is.

Count Alex's Losses
11-16-2004, 04:35 PM
I'll bet I know where the body is.

In the Shark Shitter?

KcMizzou
11-16-2004, 04:35 PM
In the Shark Shitter?
ROFL exactly.

Demonpenz
11-16-2004, 04:36 PM
the attack was unprovoked, yeah right i bet a day before the old lady took 20 items in the 10 items or less line, and the shark was behind her looking at his watch because all he came in for was teeth whitener

2bikemike
11-16-2004, 04:37 PM
Thats an impressive picture.

BTW if they wanna find that old ladies body I think they are going to have to catch that shark and gut it.

BIG_DADDY
11-16-2004, 04:38 PM
Wish they had a big picture of that bad boy.

Demonpenz
11-16-2004, 04:39 PM
i wanted to close the beach, but NO the major said he didn't want to scare the people

FAX
11-16-2004, 04:40 PM
Shark 27
Little Old Lady 20

Ghostof
11-16-2004, 04:40 PM
She was probably out swimming and her period started, pirahnas always tend to go for that.

jiveturkey
11-16-2004, 04:44 PM
The old lady played good defense for 90% of the game and if it wasn't for that 1 big play...

Count Alex's Losses
11-16-2004, 04:45 PM
Shark 1
Little Old Lady 0

There once was a great white shark
Who was out for a watery lark
He ate an old hag
And tried not to gag
For her clam was as big as an ark.

KcMizzou
11-16-2004, 04:45 PM
The old lady played good defense for 90% of the game and if it wasn't for that 1 big play... Yeah, the offense was going for chunks.

Joe Seahawk
11-16-2004, 04:46 PM
The thing just looks pissed! I wonder if it's roaring in that pic..

RRAAAAOOOOOOOORRRRRRRR!!

el borracho
11-16-2004, 04:47 PM
Someone needs to play it straight from the hip.

"Shark, I have noticed when you react to someone teasing you, you do so with violence. While it seems like a natural reaction to you, I assure you, it is not. If I hit my boss at work, or your mother punched me when she disagreed, there would be repercussions for such actions. While I don't like doing this (especially since you seem to be reacting in jest), I have to tell you that I am going to punish you when you eat someone.

e.g. You will get two warnings from me or your mother. After the second warning, you will have to write 75 lines on why eating a person is not a positive way to communicate. Each time after, you will be assessed an additional 25 lines. Keep in mind that each document you write must be unique and cannot duplicate another document. You will not have any free time until the document is 100% complete and reviewed by me or your mother."


MOST IMPORTANT: "Do you understand, Shark?"

Ghostof
11-16-2004, 04:47 PM
"“You want to look at that at tape and call that a shark attack clearly? Really marginal.”

Count Alex's Losses
11-16-2004, 04:48 PM
The thing just looks pissed! I wonder if it's roaring in that pic..

RRAAAAOOOOOOOORRRRRRRR!!

I'm pretty sure Sharks don't roar.

KcMizzou
11-16-2004, 04:48 PM
Repeat after me, "Old ladies are friends, NOT FOOD!"

Demonpenz
11-16-2004, 04:51 PM
In response to the attack local officials replied "That really bites"

Ghostof
11-16-2004, 04:51 PM
“Believe me, Old ladies are held accountable. But they’re also shown on tape and they see what was called and what wasn’t called. Hey, there are sometimes shark attacks that are not called – shark attacks that should have been called on us. That’s how it works.”




Pretty much if you take all of DV comments from some of Al Wallaces interview and replace "penalties" with "Shark Attack" it makes more sense!

el borracho
11-16-2004, 04:52 PM
This thread is why I can still enjoy ChiefsPlanet during a 3-6 season. Rep to all you comedians.

Demonpenz
11-16-2004, 04:54 PM
After eating the woman the shark lifted up a piece of sea kelp to reveal a cell phone

BigVE
11-16-2004, 04:56 PM
Bite me. ;)

Spicy McHaggis
11-16-2004, 05:01 PM
"All that was left was a little red bathing cap," said Paul Dennett. I'm going to hell if I laugh at this, right?

The Rick
11-16-2004, 05:06 PM
"There is no shark. None of this is true. The old lady is simply in hiding from the Americans to protest the war."

Demonpenz
11-16-2004, 05:06 PM
The shark commented that the human tasted like chicken

tk13
11-16-2004, 05:06 PM
30 posts and not one "Candy-Gram" joke.... you guys are slipping. :)

Demonpenz
11-16-2004, 05:07 PM
we all can't watch 30 year old episodes of snl

Demonpenz
11-16-2004, 05:08 PM
In other news Greg Norman was missing from the sbc open on saturday

KcMizzou
11-16-2004, 05:08 PM
30 posts and not one "Candy-Gram" joke.... you guys are slipping. :)ROFL I saw that for the first time, on a rerun the other night. Otherwise I'd have no idea what you were talking about.

Actually, I think it was that "Top 100 moments of SNL" show.

Demonpenz
11-16-2004, 05:08 PM
That old lady was "Fin" ished

Demonpenz
11-16-2004, 05:15 PM
Wow this is the first non fire related Great White death in 3 years

KcMizzou
11-16-2004, 05:16 PM
Wow this is the first non fire related Great White death in 3 yearsROFLROFL

Damn.. that's bad. Took me a minute...

tk13
11-16-2004, 05:16 PM
Wow this is the first non fire related Great White death in 3 years
ROFL ROFL Horrible...

Demonpenz
11-16-2004, 05:17 PM
ROFLROFL

Damn.. that's bad. Took me a minute...


spokesmen for the band had this to say

"once bitten twice shy babe"

Valiant
11-16-2004, 05:34 PM
Alright time for a sequel...

The Rick
11-16-2004, 05:38 PM
In other news Greg Norman was missing from the sbc open on saturday
:)

morphius
11-16-2004, 05:48 PM
In response to the career ending injury on the Old Lady, the shark is quoted saying, "There is nothing wrong with the chomp bite, all the sharks use it, and while it may have been unneccesary, it was completely legal."

ENDelt260
11-16-2004, 05:51 PM
Wow this is the first non fire related Great White death in 3 years
ROFL

Oh, man...

ENDelt260
11-16-2004, 05:53 PM
http://www.tshirthell.com/shirts/products/a199/a199.gif

Rain Man
11-17-2004, 12:27 AM
I'll bet her name was Edith, and the attack only happened when her friends on shore started yelling, "Edith! Shark! Shark, Edith!"

BIG_DADDY
11-17-2004, 12:31 AM
http://www.tshirthell.com/shirts/products/a199/a199.gif

What ever happened to those guys anyway?

Ari Chi3fs
11-17-2004, 12:35 AM
this thread has more puns per post capita than any thread in recent memory.

el borracho
11-17-2004, 12:36 AM
I'll bet her name was Edith, and the attack only happened when her friends on shore started yelling, "Edith! Shark! Shark, Edith!"
You know what they say.... you can't have your shark and Edith, too.

BIG_DADDY
11-17-2004, 12:44 AM
You know what they say.... you can't have your shark and Edith, too.

That had to be a setup.

SPchief
11-17-2004, 12:52 AM
My neighbor knocked on my door to see if i was alright because i was laughing so hard at this thread

Joe Seahawk
11-17-2004, 01:25 AM
Rescue workers were using boats and aircraft to search for the woman's body.
Aircraft? A huge shark, 15 witnesses, a little red bathing cap and they call in aircraft? Seems like a waste of resources to me. :rolleyes:


"All efforts to find the lady have been exhausted by a wide and thorough search. We are hoping that police divers will be successful in their efforts," Darren Zimmerman of the National Sea Rescue Institute told the SAPA.

:shake: LUNCHTIME!

Miles
11-17-2004, 01:30 AM
"You go in the cage, cage goes in the water, you go in the water. Shark's in the water, our shark"

Ultra Peanut
11-17-2004, 06:51 AM
the attack was unprovoked, yeah right i bet a day before the old lady took 20 items in the 10 items or less line, and the shark was behind her looking at his watch because all he came in for was teeth whitenerROFL

Ultra Peanut
11-17-2004, 06:53 AM
Someone needs to play it straight from the hip.

"Shark, I have noticed when you react to someone teasing you, you do so with violence. While it seems like a natural reaction to you, I assure you, it is not. If I hit my boss at work, or your mother punched me when she disagreed, there would be repercussions for such actions. While I don't like doing this (especially since you seem to be reacting in jest), I have to tell you that I am going to punish you when you eat someone.

e.g. You will get two warnings from me or your mother. After the second warning, you will have to write 75 lines on why eating a person is not a positive way to communicate. Each time after, you will be assessed an additional 25 lines. Keep in mind that each document you write must be unique and cannot duplicate another document. You will not have any free time until the document is 100% complete and reviewed by me or your mother."


MOST IMPORTANT: "Do you understand, Shark?"So... you put your human penis in his shark mother's shark vagina?

Ultra Peanut
11-17-2004, 06:54 AM
Wow this is the first non fire related Great White death in 3 yearsOh my God. :LOL:

:clap:

MichaelH
11-17-2004, 07:26 AM
She was probably out swimming and her period started, pirahnas always tend to go for that.

psst. She was 77 years old. :shake:

KcMizzou
11-17-2004, 07:37 AM
So... you put your human penis in his shark mother's shark vagina?
What do you think about that guy? Kind of a jag, aint he.

Velvet_Jones
11-17-2004, 07:41 AM
That sharks crazy. I'm Brian Fellow.

Ghostof
11-17-2004, 08:53 AM
psst. She was 77 years old. :shake:


Um, ..old chicks are still popping out kids, like that grandmother who is having a kid or twins that I seen on CNN the other day.

Ghostof
11-17-2004, 08:59 AM
I hear the Chiefs draft personnel were on a flight down there last night for a possible recruiting opportunity. Since the defense has been kind of soft as of the last 4 years, they figured that the shark may boost morale and would also help strengthen the secondary.


Reporters on hand stated that there were other sharks in the vicinity of the attack, but they were fans of G_Robs play style and waited for the action to start before they decided to attack.