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View Full Version : Happy Thanksgiving! Here's your tornado!


Bob Dole
11-23-2004, 04:58 PM
This crap sucks.

That is all.

ROYC75
11-23-2004, 05:00 PM
How thoughtful, thanks for the spin!

Rain Man
11-23-2004, 05:00 PM
Remember: if the tornado hits, stop, drop, and roll.

Ultra Peanut
11-23-2004, 05:00 PM
The arklatex is getting pooped on right now. Some of that shit could be heading our way. :cuss:

Bob Dole
11-23-2004, 05:02 PM
"If you hear debris striking your house, do not go outside and take cover."

Really? You've got a Meteorology degree, don't you?

Phuqtard.

Rain Man
11-23-2004, 05:04 PM
If you aren't supposed to do that, then what do you do? Go inside and take cover? Or go outside and don't take cover?

Bob Dole
11-23-2004, 05:05 PM
If you aren't supposed to do that, then what do you do? Go inside and take cover? Or go outside and don't take cover?

What? You're the farging Conjunction Police now?

Phobia
11-23-2004, 05:05 PM
I can't believe you're bitching. You're not even dead yet.

CHIEF4EVER
11-23-2004, 05:07 PM
If you aren't supposed to do that, then what do you do? Go inside and take cover? Or go outside and don't take cover?

One could theoretically go INSIDE and not take cover as well. In theory. :hmmm:

ENDelt260
11-23-2004, 05:07 PM
Figures. Bob Dole whipping out the victim card. "Oh... this tornado's gonna hurt me. Waaaaahhh!"

Raiderhader
11-23-2004, 05:08 PM
Texas has been getting battered the past few days. We've had a few tornado touchdowns on the north side of town here.

Thankfully, all of the nasty stuff has been on the north side today. My part of town was rather pleasant most of the day.

Raiderhader
11-23-2004, 05:09 PM
I can't believe you're bitching. You're not even dead yet.



Maybe that is why he is bitching.....

Rain Man
11-23-2004, 05:20 PM
Remember, if a tornado hits, place your sternum against a corner such a countertop and thrust downward hard and fast.

grandllama
11-23-2004, 05:25 PM
eh, the NWS says all we are going to get out of it is 4 -8 inches of snow....

Bob Dole
11-23-2004, 05:29 PM
eh, the NWS says all we are going to get out of it is 4 -8 inches of snow....

That changes everything.

4-8 inches of snow down here is more deadly than any tornado.

Ari Chi3fs
11-23-2004, 05:36 PM
take your tornado and deal with it, pussy.

grandllama
11-23-2004, 05:36 PM
That changes everything.

4-8 inches of snow down here is more deadly than any tornado.

hell, last time I was down there 1in of snow scared the bejezus out of me... (not the snow itself, they way they drive)

ROYC75
11-23-2004, 05:36 PM
Ride like the wind Dole, hang on, it a big blow job !

Bob Dole
11-23-2004, 05:39 PM
take your tornado and deal with it, pussy.

That's it, you big meaniehead.

You're on ignore!

Bob Dole
11-23-2004, 05:40 PM
hell, last time I was down there 1in of snow scared the bejezus out of me... (not the snow itself, they way they drive)

Ed Zachary.

ROYC75
11-23-2004, 05:45 PM
Ed Zachary.

You think that's bad, Feb.1981 New Orleans was hit with an ice storm, around 3 inches of frozen rain fell and those crazy flugg'n canjuns had no idea how to drive in it. A Cajun on ice is a deadly weapon.

That scared the crap out of me.

Frazod
11-23-2004, 05:49 PM
eh, the NWS says all we are going to get out of it is 4 -8 inches of snow....

They're saying 3-6 inches of snow in the Chicago area - supposed to hit in the afternoon when everybody starts leaving for the long weekend. Lovely.

Even up here, the first couple of snows, it seems like people - people who have grown up in this shit all their lives - forget how to drive in it. :shake: Tomorrow afternoon should be like a f#cking demolition derby on the local interstates. I'm glad I'll be taking the train home and not going anywhere else (heading to the wife's parents for dinner on Thursday, but they're local).

Bob Dole
11-23-2004, 05:50 PM
You think that's bad, Feb.1981 New Orleans was hit with an ice storm, around 3 inches of frozen rain fell and those crazy flugg'n canjuns had no idea how to drive in it. A Cajun on ice is a deadly weapon.

That scared the crap out of me.


We've got our share of Boudreauxs around here, which is part of the problem.

Rain Man
11-23-2004, 05:50 PM
Remember, if a tornado hits, immediately flee to higher ground.

Frazod
11-23-2004, 05:52 PM
That changes everything.

4-8 inches of snow down here is more deadly than any tornado.

I remember winters in Norfolk - a quarter inch of ice would paralyze the city. I actually thought it was funny - watching all the rebel-types run their cars into anything and everything. :D

ROYC75
11-23-2004, 05:54 PM
It's been mild here so far, wet but mild. We are suppose to get our 1st frost this week,Wednesday low around 28. I would say the rest of the leaves will fianlly hit the ground by Saturday.

chiefqueen
11-23-2004, 05:54 PM
Maybe 2-5 inches in KC & cutting short my Vega$ vacation by one day. :banghead::cuss::banghead:

ENDelt260
11-23-2004, 05:55 PM
In Phoenix folks have trouble driving in the rain.

If it were to ever snow... I would just stay home. I don't think it would even have to stick... just seeing in the air would make people flip out.

Bob Dole
11-23-2004, 05:57 PM
It's been mild here so far, wet but mild. We are suppose to get our 1st frost this week,Wednesday low around 28. I would say the rest of the leaves will fianlly hit the ground by Saturday.

You want mild? Bob Dole's roses and azeleas are in bloom.

Stupid plants. Might as well plant Brock Landers in the ****ing yard.

CHIEF4EVER
11-23-2004, 06:01 PM
In Phoenix folks have trouble driving in the rain.

If it were to ever snow... I would just stay home. I don't think it would even have to stick... just seeing in the air would make people flip out.

The wierdest thing happened early last week. I was driving through Flagstaff on I-40 fully expecting the obligatory 2 inches of snow and it was clear as a bell. Not a bit of the white stuff. I come down off the mountain, and 35 miles later.....voila. Snow out the wazoo. All the way from there to Amarillo. Do you guys have even a single snowplow in that state?

ENDelt260
11-23-2004, 06:03 PM
The wierdest thing happened early last week. I was driving through Flagstaff on I-40 fully expecting the obligatory 2 inches of snow and it was clear as a bell. Not a bit of the white stuff. I come down off the mountain, and 35 miles later.....voila. Snow out the wazoo. All the way from there to Amarillo. Do you guys have even a single snowplow in that state?
I'm sure they do in Flagstaff. I'm pretty sure it snows there.

I've never seen it firsthand. I don't ski, so I have no reason whatsoever to go there.

Raiderhader
11-23-2004, 06:09 PM
You want mild? Bob Dole's roses and azeleas are in bloom.

Stupid plants. Might as well plant Brock Landers in the ****ing yard.


I'm not sure where this came from (other than maybe a drunken Bob Dole), but it strikes me as extremely funny.

Otter
11-23-2004, 06:14 PM
Just play along and look for the slippers dude.

Rain Man
11-23-2004, 06:16 PM
Remember, if a tornado hits, loosen any constrictive clothing and elevate your legs.

Raiderhader
11-23-2004, 06:17 PM
Just play along and look for the slippers dude.


Excellent! You deserve rep for that.

Raiderhader
11-23-2004, 06:18 PM
Remember, if a tornado hits, loosen any constrictive clothing and elevate your legs.


So you reccomend sex during a tornado?

Hydrae
11-23-2004, 06:45 PM
I'm sure they do in Flagstaff. I'm pretty sure it snows there.

I've never seen it firsthand. I don't ski, so I have no reason whatsoever to go there.


Average 120 inches of snow a year in Flagstaff. :eek:

I lived there 5 years and yes, lots of snow every year. Only problem with driving are the idiots who think that a 4 wheel drive can stop better than other vehicles. ROFL

Frazod
11-24-2004, 11:32 AM
They're saying 3-6 inches of snow in the Chicago area - supposed to hit in the afternoon when everybody starts leaving for the long weekend. Lovely.

Even up here, the first couple of snows, it seems like people - people who have grown up in this shit all their lives - forget how to drive in it. :shake: Tomorrow afternoon should be like a f#cking demolition derby on the local interstates. I'm glad I'll be taking the train home and not going anywhere else (heading to the wife's parents for dinner on Thursday, but they're local).

Apparently I annoyed somebody upstairs with this post.

My day started when I woke at 8:53 a.m., in Naperville, 35 miles away from my office in Chicago, where I was supposed to be at 9:00 a.m. My f#cking alarm clock apparently died.

:cuss:

SO GUESS WHO HAD TO DRIVE TO WORK TODAY

:cuss:

I don't even want to think about how utterly f#cked my drive home will be.

:cuss:

I was SUPPOSED to get off early today. Much like my nice, non-stressful train ride home, that won't be happening either. In fact, I'll probably end up staying late to avoid traffic.

:cuss:

Happy f#cking Thanksgiving

:cuss:

ENDelt260
11-24-2004, 11:35 AM
So, did you make it 35 miles in 7 minutes?

Seems like some ice on the road might help with that. Don't know how you're gonna stop, tho.

Frazod
11-24-2004, 11:42 AM
So, did you make it 35 miles in 7 minutes?

Seems like some ice on the road might help with that. Don't know how you're gonna stop, tho.

No, I didn't get here until about 10:15. Hence no leaving learly.

Actually the drive in wasn't bad at all. It's the drive home that will suck like the Chiefs defense.

:cuss:

ROYC75
11-24-2004, 11:45 AM
This crap sucks.

That is all.



Thanks BOZO, did ya have to send it our way !

Under Tornado watch for the night.

I wanted a Turkey, not a Tornado.

ENDelt260
11-24-2004, 12:50 PM
No, I didn't get here until about 10:15. Hence no leaving learly.

Actually the drive in wasn't bad at all. It's the drive home that will suck like the Chiefs defense.

:cuss:
Sheesh. How long would the train have taken?

Demonpenz
11-24-2004, 02:09 PM
Lets see the libbies and tornado's spin this one

tk13
11-24-2004, 02:12 PM
Lets see the libbies and tornado's spin this one
If John Kerry was elected he'd already have his tornado prevention policy in place, but America decided they just didn't want that. :shake:

OldTownChief
11-24-2004, 02:15 PM
Remember: if the tornado hits, stop, drop, and roll.


And don't touch it., just tell a parent.

tk13
11-24-2004, 02:24 PM
Gotta love Indiana weather, you go north and west of Indianapolis there is snow coming down, you go south and right now there are tornado warnings in effect... ROFL

Skip Towne
11-24-2004, 02:34 PM
God hates Indiana.

ENDelt260
11-24-2004, 03:12 PM
God hates Indiana.
And, really, why shouldn't he?

Ultra Peanut
11-24-2004, 04:22 PM
God hates Indiana.That's because Ron Artest plays there.

Ultra Peanut
11-24-2004, 04:23 PM
Sweet... the high tomorrow is 50.

Frazod
11-24-2004, 06:48 PM
Sheesh. How long would the train have taken?

The train would have taken 40 minutes.

The drive, from the Chicago Loop to my house in Naperville, a distance of 35 miles, took TWO HOURS AND FORTY MINUTES.

TWO HOURS AND FORTY F#CKING MINUTES!

Neither the :cuss: smiley nor the :# smiley even begin to adequately imply my current frame of mind. It's a good thing I don't have a high powered rifle and there aren't any bell towers around.

I'd specifically target SUVs and minivans WITH BLACK TINTED WINDOWS. :# :cuss:

FloridaChief
11-24-2004, 06:57 PM
The train would have taken 40 minutes.

The drive, from the Chicago Loop to my house in Naperville, a distance of 35 miles, took TWO HOURS AND FORTY MINUTES.

TWO HOURS AND FORTY F#CKING MINUTES!

Neither the :cuss: smiley nor the :# smiley even begin to adequately imply my current frame of mind. It's a good thing I don't have a high powered rifle and there aren't any bell towers around.

I'd specifically target SUVs and minivans WITH BLACK TINTED WINDOWS. :# :cuss:

Hey Tim! Glad that IL winter weather is working out so well for you. It's 74 degrees here in Tampa and no hurricanes in sight....

Bunker down for the winter, buddy...

Frazod
11-24-2004, 06:58 PM
Hey Tim! Glad that IL winter weather is working out so well for you. It's 74 degrees here in Tampa and no hurricanes in sight....

Bunker down for the winter, buddy...

I hope you get eaten by an alligator.... :grr:

4th and Long
11-24-2004, 07:04 PM
God hates Indiana.
It was snowing so hard this morning that by the time I cleaned off my car, I was soaking wet. I was getting hit with so much wet stuff, I thought I was at a Pacers game.

:D

Raiderhader
11-24-2004, 07:12 PM
The train would have taken 40 minutes.

The drive, from the Chicago Loop to my house in Naperville, a distance of 35 miles, took TWO HOURS AND FORTY MINUTES.

TWO HOURS AND FORTY F#CKING MINUTES!

Neither the :cuss: smiley nor the :# smiley even begin to adequately imply my current frame of mind. It's a good thing I don't have a high powered rifle and there aren't any bell towers around.

I'd specifically target SUVs and minivans WITH BLACK TINTED WINDOWS. :# :cuss:


And to top it all off, tomorrow you get to spend the day with your mother in law. :D

ENDelt260
11-24-2004, 07:16 PM
And to top it all off, tomorrow you get to spend the day with your mother in law. :D
Heh. Really taking advantage of the fact that you're out of arm's reach, I see.

Frazod
11-24-2004, 07:17 PM
And to top it all off, tomorrow you get to spend the day with your mother in law. :D

I actually like my wife's parents. The biggest problem will be choking down the MIL's ghastly mashed potatos. She makes them with skim milk. They are so thin they could probably be sucked through a straw. :shake:

Raiderhader
11-24-2004, 07:19 PM
Heh. Really taking advantage of the fact that you're out of arm's reach, I see.


I shouldn't kick a frazod when he's down, but if I am going to do so, it is best done out of arm's reach.

Raiderhader
11-24-2004, 07:20 PM
I actually like my wife's parents. The biggest problem will be choking down the MIL's ghastly mashed potatos. She makes them with skim milk. They are so thin they could probably be sucked through a straw. :shake:


:spock: Eww.

Frazod
11-24-2004, 07:20 PM
I shouldn't kick a frazod when he's down, but if I am going to do so, it is best done out of arm's reach.

You'll have to do better than that, stick boy. nlm

Raiderhader
11-24-2004, 07:35 PM
You'll have to do better than that, stick boy. nlm


The odds were in my favor on that one, you just happen to be.... odd. :)

Ultra Peanut
11-25-2004, 02:48 AM
I actually like my wife's parents. The biggest problem will be choking down the MIL's ghastly mashed potatos. She makes them with skim milk. They are so thin they could probably be sucked through a straw. :shake:Eugh.

alanm
11-25-2004, 04:55 AM
Remember, if a tornado hits, place your sternum against a corner such a countertop and thrust downward hard and fast.I cannot begin to describe the depths of amusement this piece of advice evoked from me. :) Happy Thanksgiving Kevin Rep.:thumb:

alanm
11-25-2004, 05:24 AM
Hey Tim! Glad that IL winter weather is working out so well for you. It's 74 degrees here in Tampa and no hurricanes in sight....

Bunker down for the winter, buddy...Supposed to be Sunny and 64 today in Scottsbluff, Ne. We had a little snow the other day but it was all gone by the next morning. So far it's been a very nice fall, very mild and just a few days of rain. Temps all of November so far have usually been in the 50's-60's most days. :) I've been here 7 years now and am still waiting for a big snowstorm to hit us here. The most I can recall is 8" one time a couple of years back. Growing up in Omaha I was used to the big snowstorms which dumped 15"-24" or better every so often. I used to love those snowstorms. Providing of course you were prepared(Beer/Liquor/Cigs ect) and were home. It sucked if you had or have a prick for a boss who won't let you leave early because of the weather.:cuss:

cdcox
11-25-2004, 07:40 AM
(heading to the wife's parents for dinner on Thursday, but they're local).

Enjoy those mashed potatoes!

Braincase
11-25-2004, 09:02 AM
What? You're the farging Conjunction Police now?

Conjunction Junction, what's your function?
Hooking up words and phrases and clauses.
Conjunction Junction, how's that function?
I got three favorite cars
That get most of my job done.
Conjunction Junction, what's their function?
I got "and", "but", and "or",
They'll get you pretty far.

"And":
That's an additive, like "this and that".
"But":
That's sort of the opposite,
"Not this but that".
And then there's "or":
O-R, when you have a choice like
"This or that".
"And", "but", and "or",
Get you pretty far.

Conjunction Junction, what's your function?
Hooking up two boxcars and making 'em run right.
Milk and honey, bread and butter, peas and rice.
Hey that's nice!
Dirty but happy, digging and scratching,
Losing your shoe and a button or two.
He's poor but honest, sad but true,
Boo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!

Conjunction Junction, what's your function?
Hooking up two cars to one
When you say something like this choice:
"Either now or later"
Or no choice:
"Neither now nor ever"
Hey that's clever!
Eat this or that, grow thin or fat,
Never mind, I wouldn't do that,
I'm fat enough now!

Conjunction Junction, what's your function?
Hooking up phrases and clauses that balance, like:
Out of the frying pan and into the fire.
He cut loose the sandbags,
But the balloon wouldn't go any higher.
Let's go up to the mountains,
Or down to the sea.
You should always say "thank you",
Or at least say "please".

Conjunction Junction, what's your function?
Hooking up words and phrases and clauses
In complex sentences like:

Conjunction Junction, what's your function?
Hooking up cars and making 'em function.
Conjunction Junction, how's that function?
I like tying up words and phrases and clauses.
Conjunction Junction, watch that function.
I'm going to get you there if you're very careful.
Conjunction Junction, what's your function?
I'm going to get you there if you're very careful.
Conjunction Junction, what's your function?
I'm going to get you there if you're very careful.