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The Rick
12-10-2004, 03:02 PM
This one's for Gaz and the other engineers on the board. Got this in an email and thought I'd share.
The following is supposedly an actual question given on a university chemistry exam. The answer by one student was so profound that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave.

Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different Religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.

With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you", and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over.

The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct...leaving only Heaven thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A".
Didn't know if this had already made it's way to the Planet or not...

SPchief
12-10-2004, 03:16 PM
ROFL

|Zach|
12-10-2004, 03:16 PM
This seems fake...I doubt that would be a test question in a real college class.

Having said that it is really funny.

Saulbadguy
12-10-2004, 03:17 PM
Older than dirt.

Donger
12-10-2004, 03:17 PM
Reminds me of the infamous McDonald's application.

ENDelt260
12-10-2004, 03:23 PM
This seems fake...I doubt that would be a test question in a real college class.

Maybe as an extra question. Just for fun.

|Zach|
12-10-2004, 03:24 PM
Maybe as an extra question. Just for fun.
I don't think Chemistry teachers do things for fun.

ENDelt260
12-10-2004, 03:25 PM
I don't think Chemistry teachers do things for fun.
Hogwash. You clearly didn't have the same chemistry teacher I did. He ruled.

|Zach|
12-10-2004, 03:26 PM
Hogwash. You clearly didn't have the same chemistry teacher I did. He ruled.
clearly.

ENDelt260
12-10-2004, 03:28 PM
I mean.. c'mon.. haven't you ever heard of Mole Day?

|Zach|
12-10-2004, 03:30 PM
I mean.. c'mon.. haven't you ever heard of Mole Day?
I am more of a biology fan. I actully have not taken Chemistry in college but did in HS.

My Bio teacher was very strange. One day he was explaining why humans are driven to be monogamous. He was talkibng about how long it takes for a female to have a kid yet a guy can keep procreating...he then excaimed to the class that he could "get every one of you girls pregnant" it was a large lecture hall.

The looks in the girls faces was priceless.

Skip Towne
12-10-2004, 03:34 PM
I am more of a biology fan. I actully have not taken Chemistry in college but did in HS.

My Bio teacher was very strange. One day he was explaining why humans are driven to be monogamous. He was talkibng about how long it takes for a female to have a kid yet a guy can keep procreating...he then excaimed to the class that he could "get every one of you girls pregnant" it was a large lecture hall.

The looks in the girls faces was priceless.
How many agreed to it?

|Zach|
12-10-2004, 03:35 PM
How many agreed to it?
The guy looked like an alien. So nobody.

Although if it counts for anything I think a few girls threw up in their mouths.

Chieficus
12-10-2004, 03:40 PM
I mean.. c'mon.. haven't you ever heard of Mole Day?

Unfortunately, yes... UMR, Chem 5 with Dr. Beistle... came in on Mole day, told a mole day joke and dismissed class... he also seemed to be drunk at the time...

Skip Towne
12-10-2004, 03:41 PM
The guy looked like an alien. So nobody.

Although if it counts for anything I think a few girls threw up in their mouths.
Ya can't blame a guy for trying.

|Zach|
12-10-2004, 03:41 PM
Ya can't blame a guy for trying.
So true.

Skip Towne
12-10-2004, 03:50 PM
I had an Econ class with an eccentric professor. Sometimes he took roll and sometimes not. So we would hide in the bushes and wait for him to come to class to see if he had his gradebook with him. If not, we cut the class. Apparently too many of us were doing it as one time he came walking along with no gradebook so we cut. Then when he got to the classroom he whipped the gradebok out of the back of his pants.

|Zach|
12-10-2004, 03:51 PM
I had an Econ class with an eccentric professor. Sometimes he took roll and sometimes not. So we would hide in the bushes and wait for him to come to class to see if he had his gradebook with him. If not, we cut the class. Apparently too many of us were doing it as one time he came walking along with no gradebook so we cut. Then when he got to the classroom he whipped the gradebok out of the back of his pants.
ROFL

ENDelt260
12-10-2004, 04:29 PM
I am more of a biology fan. I actully have not taken Chemistry in college but did in HS.

Never took college chemsitry either. Took the AP Chem test and scored a four. That got me all the chemistry credit hours I needed for my degree. Thank God... I wasn't that good at it. I still don't know how I pulled that four off. After I left that room I think all the chemistry knowledge I had in my head left in a split second. I don't remember a lick of it now.

My Bio teacher was very strange. One day he was explaining why humans are driven to be monogamous. He was talkibng about how long it takes for a female to have a kid yet a guy can keep procreating...he then excaimed to the class that he could "get every one of you girls pregnant" it was a large lecture hall.

The looks in the girls faces was priceless.

I remember you telling that story before.

But, wouldn't that be an explanation of how we're driven to NOT be monagamous?

ENDelt260
12-10-2004, 04:31 PM
Unfortunately, yes... UMR, Chem 5 with Dr. Beistle... came in on Mole day, told a mole day joke and dismissed class... he also seemed to be drunk at the time...
What's unfortunate about that?

Well... unless you dragged your ass out of bed to make it to an 8am class... and then it got cancelled. That would kinda piss me off.

ENDelt260
12-10-2004, 04:33 PM
I had an Econ class with an eccentric professor. Sometimes he took roll and sometimes not. So we would hide in the bushes and wait for him to come to class to see if he had his gradebook with him. If not, we cut the class. Apparently too many of us were doing it as one time he came walking along with no gradebook so we cut. Then when he got to the classroom he whipped the gradebok out of the back of his pants.
Professors that figured attendance into your grade annoyed me. I figure if a guy can get A's on the tests and get the projects done on time without sitting through an hour of some old fart babbling, he should be free to do so.

Skip Towne
12-10-2004, 04:39 PM
Professors that figured attendance into your grade annoyed me. I figure if a guy can get A's on the tests and get the projects done on time without sitting through an hour of some old fart babbling, he should be free to do so.
Some of those old f*ckers get a rush out of making us listen to them. This guy was really funny, though. I took as many of his classes as I could.

Baby Lee
12-10-2004, 04:45 PM
Hogwash. You clearly didn't have the same chemistry teacher I did. He ruled.
Our Chem teacher was sincerely disappointed that we didn't laugh out loud when he named the person in a hypothetical exam question "Ms. Yuri Mule."

ENDelt260
12-10-2004, 04:48 PM
Our Chem teacher was sincerely disappointed that we didn't laugh out loud when he named the person in a hypothetical exam question "Ms. Yuri Mule."
Admittedly, I had much to drink last night... so, my brain may not be firing on all cylinders at the moment... but, I don't get it.

edit: nevermind. I got it. I was leaving the Ms. out.

Yeah, that's pretty corny.

Chieficus
12-10-2004, 05:02 PM
What's unfortunate about that?

Well... unless you dragged your ass out of bed to make it to an 8am class... and then it got cancelled. That would kinda piss me off.

I think his joke was bad...thus it leaves a bad memory... :shake:

|Zach|
12-10-2004, 05:24 PM
I remember you telling that story before.

But, wouldn't that be an explanation of how we're driven to NOT be monagamous?
Well yes the point is from from the guy side of the coin there is not a lot biologically that is good for monogomy yet on the girl side with the time it takes for gestation there is.