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View Full Version : Mange smack:The top ten reasons Santa doesnít come to KC anymore:


BigRedChief
12-18-2004, 07:36 AM
The top ten reasons Santa doesnít come to KC anymore:

10 King Carl didnít like his present and told him to 'shut the fick up and sit down!!!"

9 He can't stand girlie men

8 That defense makes him puke

7 Priest always quits with his list only half-done

6 Gonzo keeps moving from TE to WR, and back again, so he doesnít know where to deliver

5 Johnnie Morton (http://www.nfl.com/players/playerpage/1223) felt him up

4 So did Mrs Roaf

3 Jason Whitlock barbecued and ate all his reindeer.

2 TrInt Green was tossing an extension cord over the roof and knocked him to the ground

1 Lamar stiffed him one year on milk and cookies.

We need to come up with our own list. We have much better ammunition. Any takers?
The link:
http://www.orangemane.com/BB/showthread.php?p=506497#post506497

the Talking Can
12-18-2004, 07:41 AM
man, that was lame....

KCWolfman
12-18-2004, 08:23 AM
Too easy:

10. He is illegally blocked every time he sets down the sleigh.

9. Orange and Blue only coordinate if you are puking circus peanuts and blueberry schnapps.

8. Why go somewhere when you know you are going to be flipped off?

7. Everyone still only wants Elways jerseys.

6. Santa can no longer give extra money over the salary cap and still sleep at night

5. Dwayne Carswell picked him up by the neck.

4. Rod Smith grabbed him by the neck

3. John Mobley ran into him while drunk driving and then proceeded to state it was Santa's fault because he was white

2. Santa stopped at IHOP one morning - BIG MISTAKE!

1. He hates having D Cells thrown at him everytime he doesn't meet expectations.

RedNeckRaider
12-18-2004, 08:25 AM
Too easy:

10. He is illegally blocked every time he sets down the sleigh.

9. Orange and Blue only coordinate if you are puking circus peanuts and blueberry schnapps.

8. Why go somewhere when you know you are going to be flipped off?

7. Everyone still only wants Elways jerseys.

6. Santa can no longer give extra money over the salary cap and still sleep at night

5. Dwayne Carswell picked him up by the neck.

4. Rod Smith grabbed him by the neck

3. John Mobley ran into him while drunk driving and then proceeded to state it was Santa's fault because he was white

2. Santa stopped at IHOP one morning - BIG MISTAKE!

1. He hates having D Cells thrown at him everytime he doesn't meet expectations.#3 ROFL

RedandGold
12-18-2004, 08:45 AM
Here's my weak attempt:

10. Santa keeps confusing Elway and Sharpe for lost reindeer.

9. He doesn't want to hear about how he could rush for a thousand yards in the Rat's system.

8. He doesn't like getting flipped off.

7. He's sick of explaining that elves don't make Elways--no matter how many times the Rat asks.

6. The reindeer get leg whipped whenever they try to take off.

5. Romanowksi spits on him every time he doesn't bring steroids.

4. McCaffrey thinks faking an injury will get him more presents

3. He was offended last year when the Rat tried to trade him Clinton Portis for Mrs. Claus and an elf to be named later.

2. The maintenance crew at Invesco doesn't know how to spell. They're still pissed about what they got when they asked for a plumber and lots of booze.

1. Their idea of the "Mile High" club involves 300 lb. linemen coated in cooking spray.

Dartgod
12-18-2004, 08:48 AM
Bronco fans calling Trent "TrINT" crack me up.

People in glass houses...

RedNeckRaider
12-18-2004, 08:48 AM
Here's my weak attempt:

10. Santa keeps confusing Elway and Sharpe for lost reindeer.

9. He doesn't want to hear about how he could rush for a thousand yards in the Rat's system.

8. He doesn't like getting flipped off.

7. He's sick of explaining that elves don't make Elways--no matter how many times the Rat asks.

6. The reindeer get leg whipped whenever they try to take off.

5. Romanowksi spits on him every time he doesn't bring steroids.

4. McCaffrey thinks faking an injury will get him more presents

3. He was offended last year when the Rat tried to trade him Clinton Portis for Mrs. Claus and an elf to be named later.

2. The maintenance crew at Invesco doesn't know how to spell. They're still pissed about what they got when they asked for a plumber and lots of booze.

1. Their idea of the "Mile High" club involves 300 lb. linemen coated in cooking spray.#7 ROFL

the Talking Can
12-18-2004, 09:17 AM
5. Romanowksi spits on him every time he doesn't bring steroids.

sweet....

Wile_E_Coyote
12-18-2004, 09:43 AM
Santa hates going to Denver, they see a man in red & white coming they all shit themselves

BigRedChief
12-18-2004, 11:04 AM
Here's my weak attempt:

10. Santa keeps confusing Elway and Sharpe for lost reindeer.

9. He doesn't want to hear about how he could rush for a thousand yards in the Rat's system.

8. He doesn't like getting flipped off.

7. He's sick of explaining that elves don't make Elways--no matter how many times the Rat asks.

6. The reindeer get leg whipped whenever they try to take off.

5. Romanowksi spits on him every time he doesn't bring steroids.

4. McCaffrey thinks faking an injury will get him more presents

3. He was offended last year when the Rat tried to trade him Clinton Portis for Mrs. Claus and an elf to be named later.

2. The maintenance crew at Invesco doesn't know how to spell. They're still pissed about what they got when they asked for a plumber and lots of booze.

1. Their idea of the "Mile High" club involves 300 lb. linemen coated in cooking spray.

Posted in the thread on the mange :thumb:

Calcountry
12-18-2004, 11:34 AM
#3 ROFL
Are you kidding? All this time I have been living a lie. You are kidding right?

booger
12-19-2004, 03:40 PM
:)