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View Full Version : Everything that's wrong with music in one schmorgasborg of a story...


Taco John
12-20-2004, 05:44 PM
You just got to shake your head at the whole system with this story...



http://www.tennessean.com/local/archives/04/12/63065885.shtml?Element_ID=63065885

Soupnazi
12-20-2004, 05:48 PM
Pathetic. The song sucks either way.

Ultra Peanut
12-20-2004, 05:53 PM
The Bumper of My SUV, which was written by Wright, tells how she was driving down West End Avenue in Nashville in her SUV when someone saw her bumper sticker supporting the troops and made an obscene gesture. The song calls for support of the troops no matter what a person thinks of the war in Iraq.Sounds like a really shitty song.

Bob Dole
12-20-2004, 05:54 PM
Other than the lying part, Bob Dole doesn't really see a major problem.

beavis
12-20-2004, 05:54 PM
People actually listen to that crap?

Ultra Peanut
12-20-2004, 05:56 PM
Other than the lying part, Bob Dole doesn't really see a major problem.Certainly not "everything that's wrong with music."

Ultra Peanut
12-20-2004, 05:58 PM
"Borrow my cars-and then you give us a test."
"What? The Mario test?
"Mario? Mario's a ****in psycho."

Its 1986, I'm in the first grade,
I'm workin really hard to get mario laid,
I gotta save the princess so he can get the pussy,
Believe me-mario will get that ass so **** luigi,
Mario really wants to get her in bed,
So bad that he's bustin up bricks with his head,
He just wants sex - so forget the wedding bells,
Jumping on lil mushroom men and turtle shells.
Dropping down green pipes and secret passage ways,
Making his move to the end,
Where the final castle lays.
Eat a magic mushroom, grow a little higher,
Eat a white flower and spit balls of fire.
All these creatures that attack won't cut Mario slack.
Oh shit, hold on, Iíll be right back.

*Playing game-button pushing*

Iím gonna beat the game if it takes me all summer,
Itís gotta be hard to get laid if youíre a plumber.
Thatís why Iím gonna work extra hard for my man,
And get him to the end so he can stop using his hand.
Mario doesnít wanna get hit, heíll shrink,
The princess wont **** a little kidÖ I think.
So stay firm and attend to your own,
And eventually the princess will attend to your bone.

Chorus *twice*

Save the princess quick,
Because she wants a dick.
And if you let her free,
You get the pussy

Bowserís trying to get head right now from the princess,
But if itís up to me that shit'll stop this instance.
Cloud people throwing little spiked animals,
Green plants with teeth that attack like cannibals.
I heard no bodyís yet run in the princessís oven,
And Mario always says, ďVirgins, I love em!Ē
I hate the Koopa Troppers so Iím gonna run up,
And jump on the back of their shells til I get one up.
Iím gonna keep playing and Iím never gonna quit,
Because some kid at school told me you can see the princessí tits.
Iím gonna beat it before any of my friends do,
So I can say I put pussy up on Marioís Menu.
At the end of each level, I jump up and get the flag,
And say to myself, ďAnother castleís in the bag.Ē
I hope Bowserís ready cuz heís in for a ride,
And Marioís serious when it comes to homocide.
The princess is a freak even though she has class,
Mario will take a plunger and put it in her ass.
I hate the cannons, that shoot at you constantly,
And I hate platforms that fall out from below me.
Itís all worth while just to see Mario smile,
Standing next to the princess, buck naked profile.
So thatís why itís my crusade to get Mario laid,
Super Mario Brothers, best game ever made.

Chorus *twice
Save the princess quick,
Because she wants a dick.
And if you let her free,
You get the pussy.

Rain Man
12-20-2004, 06:00 PM
Truthfully, I'll bet they never even thought about the ethics of the situation. They just had an idea about getting the song played and ran with it.

It really does sound like an absurd song.

As an aside, this could be a fun activity for chiefsplanet. We could find some obscure song and flood radio stations with requests for it. Let's see if we can make some unknown singer a star.

ENDelt260
12-20-2004, 06:01 PM
"Borrow my cars-and then you give us a test."
"What? The Mario test?
"Mario? Mario's a ****in psycho."

Its 1986, I'm in the first grade,
I'm workin really hard to get mario laid,
I gotta save the princess so he can get the pussy,
Believe me-mario will get that ass so **** luigi,
Mario really wants to get her in bed,
So bad that he's bustin up bricks with his head,
He just wants sex - so forget the wedding bells,
Jumping on lil mushroom men and turtle shells.
Dropping down green pipes and secret passage ways,
Making his move to the end,
Where the final castle lays.
Eat a magic mushroom, grow a little higher,
Eat a white flower and spit balls of fire.
All these creatures that attack won't cut Mario slack.
Oh shit, hold on, Iíll be right back.

*Playing game-button pushing*

Iím gonna beat the game if it takes me all summer,
Itís gotta be hard to get laid if youíre a plumber.
Thatís why Iím gonna work extra hard for my man,
And get him to the end so he can stop using his hand.
Mario doesnít wanna get hit, heíll shrink,
The princess wont **** a little kidÖ I think.
So stay firm and attend to your own,
And eventually the princess will attend to your bone.

Chorus *twice*

Save the princess quick,
Because she wants a dick.
And if you let her free,
You get the pussy

Bowserís trying to get head right now from the princess,
But if itís up to me that shit'll stop this instance.
Cloud people throwing little spiked animals,
Green plants with teeth that attack like cannibals.
I heard no bodyís yet run in the princessís oven,
And Mario always says, ďVirgins, I love em!Ē
I hate the Koopa Troppers so Iím gonna run up,
And jump on the back of their shells til I get one up.
Iím gonna keep playing and Iím never gonna quit,
Because some kid at school told me you can see the princessí tits.
Iím gonna beat it before any of my friends do,
So I can say I put pussy up on Marioís Menu.
At the end of each level, I jump up and get the flag,
And say to myself, ďAnother castleís in the bag.Ē
I hope Bowserís ready cuz heís in for a ride,
And Marioís serious when it comes to homocide.
The princess is a freak even though she has class,
Mario will take a plunger and put it in her ass.
I hate the cannons, that shoot at you constantly,
And I hate platforms that fall out from below me.
Itís all worth while just to see Mario smile,
Standing next to the princess, buck naked profile.
So thatís why itís my crusade to get Mario laid,
Super Mario Brothers, best game ever made.

Chorus *twice
Save the princess quick,
Because she wants a dick.
And if you let her free,
You get the pussy.
ROFL

WTF?

beavis
12-20-2004, 06:03 PM
As an aside, this could be a fun activity for chiefsplanet. We could find some obscure song and flood radio stations with requests for it. Let's see if we can make some unknown singer a star.
I'd say we should pick some horrid song, but that's all the play anyway.

Skip Towne
12-20-2004, 06:07 PM
Truthfully, I'll bet they never even thought about the ethics of the situation. They just had an idea about getting the song played and ran with it.

It really does sound like an absurd song.

As an aside, this could be a fun activity for chiefsplanet. We could find some obscure song and flood radio stations with requests for it. Let's see if we can make some unknown singer a star.
Great idea!! We could create another Billy Ray Cyrus.

Rain Man
12-20-2004, 06:08 PM
I'd say we should pick some horrid song, but that's all the play anyway.

It'd be cool if we kick-started someone's career and they became an Elvis-level mega-superstar and then hired all of us at high salaries to be their posse and go shoot TVs and warm up threesomes and play football in the yard of their estate and stuff.

DanT
12-20-2004, 06:10 PM
How does the songwriter know that the motorist who gave her an obscene gesture did so because of the bumper sticker on the songwriter's SUV?

ENDelt260
12-20-2004, 06:10 PM
Gawdammit, Skip. You had to mention Billy Ray Cyrus, didn't you? Now that f*cking song is in my head.

I should fly to Arkansas and kick your cane.

Bob Dole
12-20-2004, 06:11 PM
How does the songwriter know that the motorist who gave her an obscene gesture did so because of the bumper sticker on the songwriter's SUV?

The Kerry stickers covering the vehicle.

Taco John
12-20-2004, 06:11 PM
Other than the lying part, Bob Dole doesn't really see a major problem.


I did..


Last week the song was listed by Billboard magazine as the second fastest-selling single in country music even though Wright no longer has a deal with a major record label. The promotional power of a major label is usually essential in getting sales as well as radio play.


The money. The money is always the problem.

beavis
12-20-2004, 06:11 PM
It'd be cool if we kick-started someone's career and they became an Elvis-level mega-superstar and then hired all of us at high salaries to be their posse and go shoot TVs and warm up threesomes and play football in the yard of their estate and stuff.
This may be stating the obvious, but you should start a poll.

ENDelt260
12-20-2004, 06:12 PM
How does the songwriter know that the motorist who gave her an obscene gesture did so because of the bumper sticker on the songwriter's SUV?
Solid point. We're talking about a female here, aren't we? Chances are she made a left turn out of the right lane w/ no signal while applying eyeliner.

beavis
12-20-2004, 06:12 PM
The money. The money is always the problem.
The recording industry is a giant scam full of crooks.

Who knew? :shrug:

Bob Dole
12-20-2004, 06:13 PM
I did..





The money. The money is always the problem.

It was a grass-roots effort by fans (if you believe her story). How is that about money?

DanT
12-20-2004, 06:13 PM
The Kerry stickers covering the vehicle.

ROFL

Covering her vehicle except for the little decal from the private school that the obscene-gesturer is able to send her daughter to because of the United States Marine Corps.

Taco John
12-20-2004, 06:19 PM
It was a grass-roots effort by fans (if you believe her story). How is that about money?



I'm talking about the payola that goes on inside the industry. The inverse. I'm not only looking at the surface story, but also the subtext...

This girl's song probably sucks, but I just am left to wonder how many genuinely good bands with good music get left in the cold from their local airwaves in favor of cookie cutter pop princesses.

Rain Man
12-20-2004, 06:19 PM
How does the songwriter know that the motorist who gave her an obscene gesture did so because of the bumper sticker on the songwriter's SUV?


I like to think that she jumped out of her SUV, dragged the other lady out her car window, and they engaged in a wicked but sultry catfight like that "Tastes Great, Less Filling" commercial, after which the naked, sweating, exhausted finger-flipping woman, bosoms heaving from exertion, confessed her motivations.

RNR
12-20-2004, 06:23 PM
The Kerry stickers covering the vehicle.
Crap I am too lazy to read the thread, are we talking about meme. She has not started stalking Kerry Collins has she :(

DanT
12-20-2004, 06:25 PM
I like to think that she jumped out of her SUV, dragged the other lady out her car window, and they engaged in a wicked but sultry catfight like that "Tastes Great, Less Filling" commercial, after which the naked, sweating, exhausted finger-flipping woman, bosoms heaving from exertion, confessed her motivations.
ROFL

Don't forget, they were able to engage in that wicked but sultry catfight because of the United States Marine Corps.

Bob Dole
12-20-2004, 06:27 PM
I'm talking about the payola that goes on inside the industry. The inverse. I'm not only looking at the surface story, but also the subtext...

This girl's song probably sucks, but I just am left to wonder how many genuinely good bands with good music get left in the cold from their local airwaves in favor of cookie cutter pop princesses.

So basically you're making assumptions and using this story to promote a completely different agenda?

There are hundreds of genuinely good bands with good music that get left in the cold, but this story actually illustrated that it doesn't necessarily have to be that way if you can put together an organized, grass-roots effort.

The net offers the medium for real change. If only parents would stop handing their latchkey kids $50 a week to buy the crap being published by major labels.

DanT
12-20-2004, 06:27 PM
Here are the lyrics to the song, according to the Tennessean.com link posted earlier (in the topic post):

Lyrics to 'The Bumper of My SUV'

(as posted on anycountrymusiclyrics.com)

I've got a bright red sticker on the back of my car Says United States Marines And yesterday a lady in a mini-van held up a middle finger at me Does she think she knows what I stand for Or the things that I believe Just by looking at a sticker for the US Marines On The Bumper Of My SUV

See, my brother, Chris, he's been in for more than 14 years now Our dad was in the Navy during Vietnam Did his duty then he got out And my grandpa earned his purple heart On the beach of Normandy That's why I've got a sticker for the US Marines On The Bumper Of My SUV

But that doesn't mean that I want war I'm not Republican or Democrat But I've gone all around this crazy world Just to try and better understand

Yes I do have questions I get to ask them because I'm free That's why I've got a sticker for the US Marines On the Bumper Of My SUV

Cause I've been to Hiroshima And I've been to the DMZ I've walked on the sand in Baghdad Still don't have all of the answers I need But I guess I wanna know where she's been Before she judges and gestures to me Cause she don't like my sticker For the US Marines On the bumper of my SUV

So I hope that lady in her mini-van Turns on her radio and hears this from me As she picks up her kids from their private school And drives home safely on our city streets Or to the building where her church group meets

Yeah, that's why I've got a sticker for the US Marines On the bumper of my SUV

ó Chely Wright

Rain Man
12-20-2004, 06:27 PM
ROFL

Don't forget, they were able to engage in that wicked but sultry catfight because of the United States Marine Corps.

Hooray for the Marines! Superfly, do or die!

ENDelt260
12-20-2004, 06:28 PM
Hooray for the Marines! Superfly, do or die!
*wipes spittle off monitor*

That one never gets old.

Ultra Peanut
12-20-2004, 06:32 PM
ROFL

WTF?Benefit - Warp to World 6-9 (aka Super Mario Bros. Rap)

Taco John
12-20-2004, 06:35 PM
So basically you're making assumptions and using this story to promote a completely different agenda?

There are hundreds of genuinely good bands with good music that get left in the cold, but this story actually illustrated that it doesn't necessarily have to be that way if you can put together an organized, grass-roots effort.

The net offers the medium for real change. If only parents would stop handing their latchkey kids $50 a week to buy the crap being published by major labels.


I guess you're right. Rather than being bitter about the payola that goes on, I should probably just pick up a phone and request music I would like to hear. I still hate the centralized power structure that governs all media today... And being a cynic, I figure that they'll catch on to this trick and just do whatever they can next to subvert the little guys in favor of their own plate of goods.

Bob Dole
12-20-2004, 06:53 PM
I guess you're right. Rather than being bitter about the payola that goes on, I should probably just pick up a phone and request music I would like to hear. I still hate the centralized power structure that governs all media today... And being a cynic, I figure that they'll catch on to this trick and just do whatever they can next to subvert the little guys in favor of their own plate of goods.

Seriously, you <b>can</b> make a difference.

Get to know your local radio folks and badger them to schedule a regular "homegrown" feature where they will play original, local music. Also try to convince them to actually report the plays to SoundExchange so the artists get credit for the airplay. If there's a request show, make the requests and if they claim they don't have the tune, make sure they get one placed in their hands.

Put together a fundraising concert event. Bob Dole is always amazed at how much of themselves most musicians are willing to give, especially when it's for a worthy cause. We had more than 20 bands/ solo artists at our last event, and not a single one of them was paid. Many are willing to play for the exposure and the merchandise sales, and many of them got paying gigs later due to their efforts.

Bob Dole has spent a lot of time and effort on this stuff over the past 2+ years, and while they aren't getting major label contracts right and left, it has gone a long way toward enriching not only Bob Dole's life, but created a real sense of community where one previously did not exist.

If things can continue to move forward, Bob Dole is convinced that it's only a matter of time before the barriers fall. We're putting on a 10 week free concert series in a downtown park this Spring and the local Bud distributor and others have signed on as sponsors. We just got handed about 10 hours of stage time at a local festival, where we'll get to schedule local talent where none was scheduled last year.

We've earned the opportunity to put local money behing local musicians, and while it ain't the be-all-and-end-all, it sure as hell beats the alternative of sitting on your hands and complaining.

Spicy McHaggis
12-20-2004, 07:01 PM
See this is why country music needs its own awards show. God knows they're not getting nominated for anything at a real ceremony. Create your awards show though and BAM! every piece of excrement about slappin' your wife and getting the finger is a hit!

Rausch
12-20-2004, 07:08 PM
Well, it's country...I mean....c'mon.

Who cares?

Braincase
12-20-2004, 08:07 PM
Ms. Wright is from just down the way... about 30 mles or so from Lawrence. You might disagree with her writing, but she is hot...

http://users2.ev1.net/~jemhadar/images/maelstroms_eye/me696-chely_wright_001.jpg

2bikemike
12-20-2004, 08:15 PM
Ms. Wright is from just down the way... about 30 mles or so from Lawrence. You might disagree with her writing, but she is hot...

http://users2.ev1.net/~jemhadar/images/maelstroms_eye/me696-chely_wright_001.jpg

I would hit it! (Damn I say that a lot)

Ultra Peanut
12-21-2004, 12:39 AM
Ohhhh. I didn't read the caption, and I thought this was her:

<img src="http://www.tennessean.com/local/ssiboxes/04/WEB_1219-A-CHELY-COPYFIT.jpg" style="width: 228px; height: 152px; border: 0" alt="" />

I wouldn't hit that with a hammer.

yunghungwell
12-21-2004, 01:11 PM
How does the songwriter know that the motorist who gave her an obscene gesture did so because of the bumper sticker on the songwriter's SUV?
Well, Dan, that nice little newspaper did a swell job of editing the story about Chely Wright getting the idea to write the song, and you have obviously not heard any interviews with said country singer to know any different.

I heard an interview with Chely Wright. In that interview she said that she placed a United States Marine Corps sticker on her bumper because her brother, who had given her the sticker, had been in the Marines for several years.

This was one of those red and gold USMC stickers, not some "Support Our Troops" sticker, and not some "Support Our Troops in This War" sticker.

Ms. Wright stated in the above-mentioned interview that after the "nice" lady flipped her the bird she motioned for Ms. Wright to roll down her window at the next stoplight. That is when the lady shouted, "Your war is wrong." So it seemed clear to the songwriter that the lady opposite her in this encounter assumed that a USMC sticker equates to supporting the President's foreign policy, and the war in Iraq.

MichaelH
12-21-2004, 01:19 PM
If she was really upset by the bird flipping, why didn't she just take her big old city slicker SUV and ram the shit out of the bird flipper. Blame it on PMS and faulty brakes. Then there's no need for the media and its crap sensationalism.

Lzen
12-21-2004, 03:02 PM
I don't really care for country music. But this whole thing is stupid. I don't see anything wrong with the song. Well, the lying about having family in the military was wrong. But seriously, I'll bet most of us have at least one relative or friend currently in the military or have been in the past. I know I have a several that I can think of.

I was in a successful local band here for a few years. And I would say that I agree with Mr. Dole's post about local bands. But I don't agree with Taco in that this story is "everything that's wrong with music". :rolleyes: