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View Full Version : Go be handicapped elsewhere (A minor true story)


Rain Man
12-21-2004, 12:05 AM
This is just a minor rant of minor import, so if you're looking for big news, you may be better served elsewhere.

My wife and I live in a dense urban neighborhood, and every block has an alley where all of the residents' garages are. The alleys are relatively narrow, but for the most part, people are very good about not blocking them with parked cars. (After all, we're all in the same situation.) It's illegal to park a car in the alley itself, but the police will never show up to do anything about it. Alley justice is therefore in the hands of the tenants, much like the old west, but with fewer guns and sheep.

Well, some dude has taken to parking next to our garage, and it's a pain in the neck to get around him. He parks 95 percent on our next door neighbor's property and 5 percent on mine, but it's more of a pain to us with the way the garages are configured. I left him a polite note a while back, and he just ignored it. So tonight my wife and I went over there to talk to him about it.

Well, it turns out that the guy is handicapped. He walks without a cane or crutches, but it's obvious that he's not highly mobile. He was (politely) arguing with us that he has no choice but to park there, because he's handicapped and can't walk all the way from the street (which is about 150 to 200 feet away). He said that he's just visiting, but we know that he visits about three days a week. It was a polite argument, but nonetheless it was a lot of frustration of us telling him to stop parking there and him saying that he had no other place to park.

Now I feel like a bad guy because we had to stick to our guns and force him to move his vehicle, and I'm all ticked off about it. What's the deal with that?

1. First off, why do you think you can park in the alley? You know that it's blocking access for everyone else, and I already left you a note saying it's illegal.

2. Second, why do you think you can park on my property and my neighbor's property just because you're handicapped? Get the hell off my property. If you can't reach the house without trespassing and parking illegally, maybe you shouldn't be visiting.

3. Third, I mentioned to him that at least one illegally parked car has been keyed in the middle of the night, and said that he might want to keep that in mind since his vehicle is a brand new BMW. At that point, the son piped up and said, "Is that a threat?" How am I supposed to answer that? Hell, yes, it's a threat! Why do you even need to ask?

4. Now get this. He's visiting his son, and the son is parking in the house's lone parking spot right outside their door. Isn't there an easy solution to this? Get sonny boy to park out on the street and then you can park right next to your door. No one trespasses, no one blocks the alley, and no one has to get up and find their sharpest keys in the middle of the night. But no, that won't work. That's sonny boy's parking spot.

Now I feel bad because I had to make this crippled guy move his car, and it ticks me off that I feel bad about it. Maybe I should have just keyed it and let market forces settle the situation.

Phobia
12-21-2004, 12:10 AM
Do you know how difficult it is to match apricot paint?

stevieray
12-21-2004, 12:11 AM
Denver is a great city to live in.

Rain Man
12-21-2004, 12:11 AM
That's why I've got a garage. Of course, the garage is painted apricot, too.

Rain Man
12-21-2004, 12:12 AM
Denver is a great city to live in.


It's great except for the football team and the handicapped.

Demonpenz
12-21-2004, 12:13 AM
never judge a man until you walked a mile with his walker

Frazod
12-21-2004, 12:14 AM
I would have simply smashed in his windshield. But that's just me.

TheNextStep
12-21-2004, 12:14 AM
4. Now get this. He's visiting his son, and the son is parking in the house's lone parking spot right outside their door. Isn't there an easy solution to this? Get sonny boy to park out on the street and then you can park right next to your door. No one trespasses, no one blocks the alley, and no one has to get up and find their sharpest keys in the middle of the night. But no, that won't work. That's sonny boy's parking spot.

That's the smart thing to do. I presume you said as much? If he had a problem with it, you just look at him and say, "I'm sorry it would be such an inconvenience but as it stands, I'm the one that is inconvenienced... and nobody is visiting me. Do what's right."

Also, rather than threaten to key the guy's car, tell him you'll call the cops if he does it again. Old crippled people don't like paying fines.

Stinger
12-21-2004, 12:15 AM
never judge a man until you walked a mile with his walker

and if you still don't like him you got a mile head start

tk13
12-21-2004, 12:17 AM
I would have simply smashed in his windshield. But that's just me.
ROFL We could get rich just by starting a reality show where we put frazod in Denver. That would be quality entertainment.

Frazod
12-21-2004, 12:19 AM
ROFL We could get rich just by starting a reality show where we put frazod in Denver. That would be quality entertainment.

As long as I get to be heavily armed, I'm all for it. :evil:

Iowanian
12-21-2004, 12:19 AM
Oh Kay Numb Nuts!

I think you're missing a real oportunity to bridge a gap between Generous and Gracious Chief fans and a handicap Donk.

The obvious sollution is for you to build a zipline from the street or my favorite sollution is to construct a catapult that will launch a watermellon to Evergreen, that would "help" him to the house from the street.

Oooohhh Rah!


If that doesn't work, Duct tape a Bayonet to Timmoy!'s chair of doom and give him $3 to run down Jjjj JJ immmah

Valiant
12-21-2004, 12:26 AM
Why dont you call a tow service and tow that car away.. If it is marked illegal to park then tow that bitch...or shit in a bag and dump it all over by his entry way to his drivers side door..

Count Alex's Losses
12-21-2004, 12:28 AM
Cripple his hands. He won't be parking anywhere after that.

Phobia
12-21-2004, 12:29 AM
Post a "Private Entrance/Property" sign. If your automobile is parked here, it will be towed at your expense and here is the phone number to the location to which it was towed. You're within your legal rights to do so.

Iowanian
12-21-2004, 12:31 AM
Just sneak out and put some Loud, Abusive "#1 Chief fan" stickers on his car.

The Denver Dungheads will burn his car for you.

Phobia
12-21-2004, 12:32 AM
Just sneak out and put some Loud, Abusive "#1 Chief fan" stickers on his car.

The Denver Dungheads will burn his car for you.

That would be incredibly wrong - especially this year.

grandllama
12-21-2004, 12:36 AM
this has all the makings of a Lifetime Movie of the Week...

Rain Man
12-21-2004, 12:39 AM
this has all the makings of a Lifetime Movie of the Week...

I hope they cast John Ratzenberger to play me.

2bikemike
12-21-2004, 12:40 AM
My wife and I live in a dense urban neighborhood, and every block has an alley where all of the residents' garages are. .

Do you mean dense as in stupid or dense as in heavily populated?

Since you are in Donkey land I think both apply.

CosmicPal
12-21-2004, 07:05 AM
Can't really blame him though- there is no place to park in the Govnr's Park/Central Denver area.

However, his son is an arrogant, classless azz for not sacrificing his lone parking spot for his handicapped father. If I was his father- I wouldn't be visiting at all....

Bob Dole
12-21-2004, 07:10 AM
Maybe he should consider taking a cab to and from his son's house.

Braincase
12-21-2004, 07:12 AM
You're cool, the son is the ass.

mcan
12-21-2004, 07:24 AM
I think you're a pretty cool guy Rain... But really, this guy just wants to visit his son... If it's blocking you, then it's a legit gripe, but if it's just a minor inconvenience, then I think you should put up with it, and figure that you're doing him a service... Make him aware that he needs to pull forward as far as possible to make it as easy on you as possible, and let it be...

Unless of course, you are actually blocked in or whatever, then he's the dick... But if all you have to do is pull around and it takes an extra minute, that's a lot less of a hastle for you than it would be for him...

RedNeckRaider
12-21-2004, 07:27 AM
Knock on the door again tell son to give up his spot or give dad a ride down to pick up his towed car everytime he visits.

Skip Towne
12-21-2004, 08:03 AM
Where's Bwana?

Cochise
12-21-2004, 08:19 AM
Shouldnt he be in a nursing home anyway? :evil:

Dartgod
12-21-2004, 08:26 AM
Old crippled people don't like paying fines.
Is this true, Skip?

Iowanian
12-21-2004, 08:30 AM
After sleeping on it...............

An additional "Chiefs Rule, Donkies Drool" type bumper sticker should be applied.

I think at the mall you can even have personalized ones made........"45-17. Scoreboard ho's."
"Donks. No playoff wins since Elway"

Broncos*
*cheated on salary cap in Championchip seasons
**Fined for Illegal blocks and Hits
***Sponsored By InCrisco

(whoever started that * thing....I'm diggin it)

RedNeckRaider
12-21-2004, 08:32 AM
Is this true, Skip?
ROFL

chiefs4me
12-21-2004, 10:47 AM
you give a whole new meaning to the word GRINCH,,,,

ROYC75
12-21-2004, 11:00 AM
This is just a minor rant of minor import, so if you're looking for big news, you may be better served elsewhere.

My wife and I live in a dense urban neighborhood, and every block has an alley where all of the residents' garages are. The alleys are relatively narrow, but for the most part, people are very good about not blocking them with parked cars. (After all, we're all in the same situation.) It's illegal to park a car in the alley itself, but the police will never show up to do anything about it. Alley justice is therefore in the hands of the tenants, much like the old west, but with fewer guns and sheep.

Well, some dude has taken to parking next to our garage, and it's a pain in the neck to get around him. He parks 95 percent on our next door neighbor's property and 5 percent on mine, but it's more of a pain to us with the way the garages are configured. I left him a polite note a while back, and he just ignored it. So tonight my wife and I went over there to talk to him about it.

Well, it turns out that the guy is handicapped. He walks without a cane or crutches, but it's obvious that he's not highly mobile. He was (politely) arguing with us that he has no choice but to park there, because he's handicapped and can't walk all the way from the street (which is about 150 to 200 feet away). He said that he's just visiting, but we know that he visits about three days a week. It was a polite argument, but nonetheless it was a lot of frustration of us telling him to stop parking there and him saying that he had no other place to park.

Now I feel like a bad guy because we had to stick to our guns and force him to move his vehicle, and I'm all ticked off about it. What's the deal with that?

1. First off, why do you think you can park in the alley? You know that it's blocking access for everyone else, and I already left you a note saying it's illegal.

2. Second, why do you think you can park on my property and my neighbor's property just because you're handicapped? Get the hell off my property. If you can't reach the house without trespassing and parking illegally, maybe you shouldn't be visiting.

3. Third, I mentioned to him that at least one illegally parked car has been keyed in the middle of the night, and said that he might want to keep that in mind since his vehicle is a brand new BMW. At that point, the son piped up and said, "Is that a threat?" How am I supposed to answer that? Hell, yes, it's a threat! Why do you even need to ask?

4. Now get this. He's visiting his son, and the son is parking in the house's lone parking spot right outside their door. Isn't there an easy solution to this? Get sonny boy to park out on the street and then you can park right next to your door. No one trespasses, no one blocks the alley, and no one has to get up and find their sharpest keys in the middle of the night. But no, that won't work. That's sonny boy's parking spot.

Now I feel bad because I had to make this crippled guy move his car, and it ticks me off that I feel bad about it. Maybe I should have just keyed it and let market forces settle the situation.

Uncle Scrooge , is that you ?


OK, the guy should have contacted you about the problem.

He should have worked out a solution with his son.


Communications is important in our lives.

KCTitus
12-21-2004, 11:53 AM
Kick his ass, Sea Bass!

Earthling
12-21-2004, 12:32 PM
Drop a bunch of deck screws on the ground there. After a while no one will want to park there.

fan4ever
12-21-2004, 12:32 PM
This is a bit off topic, but I have a 7 year old son who's severely impaired. Quite often, the handicapped spots are taken up by jerks who have their mom's or dad's handicapped plackard and think they're beating the system. My son is wheelchair bound so we really need the spots that have the extra room for the wheelchair lift to come out of the side and transport him up and down into the van. When those handicapped spots are taken by people who don't need them, or "marginally" need them, it really pisses me off, especially this time of year. If I have to park in the regular spaces, I have to park far enough away so that I can have a space next to me open for the lift to operate...and this time of year, that means parking really, really really far away from the stores. I've never keyed a car, but I've had a few choice words for the occupants.

That being said, don't hold it against the old man for his son being a dick. Show him the kind of compassion you'd want someone to show your dad, and sooner or later the little twerp son is going to need your tolerance about something...and how you handle it then is up to you.