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Frazod
12-22-2004, 10:58 PM
The first week of December, I finished my Christmas shopping. One of the gifts was a Best Buy gift card for the brother-in-law. I put it in a spot in the kitchen where it wouldn't get lost. So, I went to wrap it tonight, and GUESS WHAT - it's gone.

I didn't touch the fucking thing. But, like every other goddamn thing that dissappears around here, the wife HAS NO IDEA WHERE IT IS AND NEVER TOUCHED IT. Just like every other damn thing that she swears she never saw or touched that I find in some maddeningly stupid-assed place that only she would put it, anywhere from a week to a year later, and always when I'm looking for something else that magically vanished in the same manner. "Wasn't me, honey. Must have been you. And why do you always blame me?"

BECAUSE YOU'RE ALWAYS THE ONE WHO FUCKING LOSES THINGS!

:cuss:

And then, when I clearly bust her on it, she still denies it. Never an apology. Never an "I was wrong." Just I DIDN'T DO IT.

:#

Well, I don't have a week to a year to wait for this to turn up, so I'll have to go back out at the height of last-minute-rush Christmas shopping hell and replace it (I'd make her do it, but she doesn't drive). I'M SO FUCKING PISSED OFF I CAN'T SEE STRAIGHT. More money flying out of my wallet after a month that has already seen me melt my friggin credit cards into goo.

WHY DOES SHE DO THIS? WHY WHY WHY

:banghead: :cuss: :#

Joe Seahawk
12-22-2004, 11:07 PM
The only thing that comes to mind is the way she brakes my truck..Geez, she'll go through a set of brake pads in a week!

Count Zarth
12-22-2004, 11:09 PM
I'm not married. And hopefully I never will be.

Cochise
12-22-2004, 11:10 PM
I'm not married. And hopefully I never will be.

Don't sweat it.

SPchief
12-22-2004, 11:11 PM
I'm not married. And hopefully I never will be.

I think that everyone here agrees that you should not marry or have children

Count Zarth
12-22-2004, 11:12 PM
I think that everyone here agrees that you should not marry or have children

I don't intend to. ROFL

So I guess everyone is happy.

morphius
12-22-2004, 11:15 PM
I could add something to this thread, but I would very much like to wake up tomorrow and not have to do a search for my balls.

Mojo Rising
12-22-2004, 11:17 PM
WHY DOES SHE DO THIS? WHY WHY WHY

:banghead: :cuss: :#

Because it is your fault for not bringing the gift home and telling her to wrap it. Then she wouldn't have lost it and it would be wrapped.

Frazod
12-22-2004, 11:32 PM
I could add something to this thread, but I would very much like to wake up tomorrow and not have to do a search for my balls.

They're in a jar under the bathroom sink, next to the tampons. :D

alanm
12-23-2004, 12:09 AM
WHY DOES SHE DO THIS? WHY WHY WHY

:banghead: :cuss: :# Because she loves you. ROFLROFLROFL

Rausch
12-23-2004, 12:10 AM
Here's my favorite (and by favorite, I mean $#it that makes me want to go Scott Peterson):

Me: Hey honey, where you want to eat?

Her: Oh, I don't care. What do you feel like.

Me: Anything's fine with me.

Her: Whatever you want.

Me: Ok. How about Chinese?

Her: Ok.

*We get there and sit down to order*

Me: What do you feel like?

Her: Oh, whatever. I don't care.

Me: Well I heard (insert whatever dish here) was good.

Her: Ok.

*skip 20 minutes. She eats like 1/8th of her meal and pushes the plate away.*

Me: What's wrong?

Her: I already ate here twice this week, when we went to luch at work. I'm just kind of tired of chinese.

Me: WTF didn't you tell me that before we came here then?!?

Her: I don't know. You wanted to eat here.

Me: But if you're not going to eat the $3it what's the point?!? We could have gone somewhere else.

Her: Yeah.

Me: But if you know you're not going to eat it why....****! :cuss: :banghead:

CHIEF4EVER
12-23-2004, 12:11 AM
I'm not married. And hopefully I never will be.

Don't sweat it bro. I have a strong feeling that procreation will not be an issue for you.

CHIEF4EVER
12-23-2004, 12:13 AM
Me: But if you know you're not going to eat it why....****!

Her: Because I can.

morphius
12-23-2004, 12:14 AM
They're in a jar under the bathroom sink, next to the tampons. :D
Well, I see you found yours then :D

alanm
12-23-2004, 12:19 AM
Don't feel bad Tim. I have to go back out sometime tomorrow or Friday morning before all the stores close up for the day and get a couple more presents for the GF. And I don't have a f*cking clue of what to get. She collects the Holiday Barbies so I picked up this years edition. She loves Tigger and collects Tigger shit. So I picked up a couple of fleese-sp sweatshits with Tigger on them. You don't want to buy the GF's domestic(Kitchen Appliances ect.) shit or they get pissed at you. Anybody got any ideas???:hmmm:

Logical
12-23-2004, 12:22 AM
Don't feel bad Tim. I have to go back out sometime tomorrow or Friday morning before all the stores close up for the day and get a couple more presents for the GF. And I don't have a f*cking clue of what to get. She collects the Holiday Barbies so I picked up this years edition. She loves Tigger and collects Tigger shit. So I picked up a couple of fleese-sp sweatshits with Tigger on them. You don't want to buy the GF's domestic(Kitchen Appliances ect.) shit or they get pissed at you. Anybody got any ideas???:hmmm:

Sounds like you might want to pick her up an EazyBake Oven, and stop by and put a lawyer on retatiner.

Demonpenz
12-23-2004, 12:23 AM
my GF said she likes football teams that have good defense. Looks like i will be taking back all the chiefs shit

Mr. Kotter
12-23-2004, 12:24 AM
She'll sometimes say something to make me think she's "frisky," but then later she "changes her mind." :banghead:

alanm
12-23-2004, 12:25 AM
Sounds like you might want to pick her up an EazyBake Oven, and stop by and put a lawyer on retatiner.ROFLROFL I suppose it could be worse. She could collect Owls or Frogs or something like that. She just turned 39. I swear Jim!!!.ROFL

OldTownChief
12-23-2004, 12:26 AM
Sounds like you might want to pick her up an EazyBake Oven, and stop by and put a lawyer on retatiner.


ROFL

Rausch
12-23-2004, 12:30 AM
She'll sometimes say something to make me think she's "frisky," but then later she "changes her mind." :banghead:

I'll never understand how women can go from porn-slut-horny to "not in the mood" in 30 ****ing seconds... :shake:

alanm
12-23-2004, 12:31 AM
That's what happens when you lob up a softball..... It's still flying!! ROFL

Straight, No Chaser
12-23-2004, 12:46 AM
The first week of December, I finished my Christmas shopping. One of the gifts was a Best Buy gift card for the brother-in-law. I put it in a spot in the kitchen where it wouldn't get lost. So, I went to wrap it tonight, and GUESS WHAT - it's gone...

WHY DOES SHE DO THIS? WHY WHY WHY

:banghead: :cuss: :#

Ever consider she's right and you may be senile or have Adult ADD?


--->

Rausch
12-23-2004, 12:51 AM
Ever consider she's right and you may be senile or have Adult ADD?


--->

Well, he doesn't have Adult ADD (or ADHD.) I do, and it's obvious he doesn't...

He could very well be senile though. Hell, he's already bald as a baby's azz... :)

cheeeefs
12-23-2004, 01:03 AM
She'll sometimes say something to make me think she's "frisky," but then later she "changes her mind." :banghead:

oh don't get me started with the mixed signals bullsheeot.

she'll do all sorts of stuff indicating its time to redeem my good BF points and as soon as I make a move she's screaming at me for only ever thinking about sex. AND THEN when I get the same exact signals the very next day and decide to slow down and make sure that I'm reading her right, she complains that I should be more assertive. sometimes I feel like she is the personification of pavlov's dark side.

HemiEd
12-23-2004, 04:54 AM
And then, when I cleary bust her on it, she still denies it. Never an apology. Never an "I was wrong." Just I DIDN'T DO IT.

Been married 33 years, a lot of this kind of thing. Only recently broke her of moving my stuff by "straightening up".

Her newest deal is to put paperwork that she wants me to deal with on the table where I eat or on my recliner seat where I sit down after work, so that it has to be moved for me to eat or sit. I will break her of it, I move the stuff aside and ignore it.

SBK
12-23-2004, 05:17 AM
The first week of December, I finished my Christmas shopping. One of the gifts was a Best Buy gift card for the brother-in-law. I put it in a spot in the kitchen where it wouldn't get lost. So, I went to wrap it tonight, and GUESS WHAT - it's gone.

I didn't touch the f#cking thing. But, like every other goddamn thing that dissappears around here, the wife HAS NO IDEA WHERE IT IS AND NEVER TOUCHED IT. Just like every other damn thing that she swears she never saw or touched that I find in some maddeningly stupid-assed place that only she would put it, anywhere from a week to a year later, and always when I'm looking for something else that magically vanished in the same manner. "Wasn't me, honey. Must have been you. And why do you always blame me?"

BECAUSE YOU'RE ALWAYS THE ONE WHO F#CKING LOSES THINGS!

:cuss:

And then, when I cleary bust her on it, she still denies it. Never an apology. Never an "I was wrong." Just I DIDN'T DO IT.

:#

Well, I don't have a week to a year to wait for this to turn up, so I'll have to go back out at the height of last-minute-rush Christmas shopping hell and replace it (I'd make her do it, but she doesn't drive). I'M SO F#CKING PISSED OFF I CAN'T SEE STRAIGHT. More money flying out of my wallet after a month that has already seen me melt my friggin credit cards into goo.

WHY DOES SHE DO THIS? WHY WHY WHY

:banghead: :cuss: :#

ROFLROFL I thought my wife was the only one that loses everything and has never touched it and gets pissed when I ask. Guess it's just a woman thing.

Saulbadguy
12-23-2004, 05:34 AM
I'm not married yet, so no comment. ROFL

I heard they "change" though, after you marry them...

Earthling
12-23-2004, 05:49 AM
My wife seems to take it personal if I say anything critical about her cooking.
Me: "This mac & cheese really sucks."
Her: "If you can't say something nice don't say anything"
Me: "So you'd rather just keep using this shitty recipe?"
Her: " Its not polite to critisize someone elses cooking"
Me: "Yeah well its not polite to tell someone they are impolite"
Her: "Thats fine Mister. Do your own damn cooking!"

I mean wouldn't you want to know if your cooking sucked? Her tactic has worked however, as I now bite my tongue and just eat the damn thing. (I'm a much worse cook) When I do cook I generally agree with any 'this sucks' type of statements and never take it personally.

MichaelH
12-23-2004, 05:53 AM
I'll never understand how women can go from porn-slut-horny to "not in the mood" in 30 ****ing seconds... :shake:

Isn't that fun? :banghead: If one of our sons coughs or moves in their sleep, my wife loses interest. I guess it's that motherly instinct.

The number one thing my wife does that drives me crazy is it takes her 25 minutes to get out the door. I don't mean getting dressed. She could be all dressed with her shoes and jacket on. She mysteriously finds 56 little things to do on the way out the door while I'm stuck holding the little one and the older son is getting real impatient.

ptlyon
12-23-2004, 05:55 AM
My wife seems to take it personal if I say anything critical about her cooking.
Me: "This mac & cheese really sucks."
Her: "If you can't say something nice don't say anything"
Me: "So you'd rather just keep using this shitty recipe?"
Her: " Its not polite to critisize someone elses cooking"
Me: "Yeah well its not polite to tell someone they are impolite"
Her: "Thats fine Mister. Do your own damn cooking!"


I see someone has been married quite awhile. ROFL

Braincase
12-23-2004, 06:02 AM
Mine starts buying Xmas presents December 26, stashes them away... and hopes the kids don't find them for 364 days.

She also uses the right hand sink in the kitchen for garbage. Puts a sack in there and starts filling it up. Damn woman, the garbage can is right underneath that side of the sink!

Oh, and the Chiefs are driving for a score at the half. Less than two minutes to go, and that's when he wants to talk about seating arrangements for Thanksgiving dinner.

Earthling
12-23-2004, 06:26 AM
I see someone has been married quite awhile. ROFL
Yep. Somewhere around 27 years or so... :thumb:

Earthling
12-23-2004, 06:30 AM
Oh, and the Chiefs are driving for a score at the half. Less than two minutes to go, and that's when he wants to talk about seating arrangements for Thanksgiving dinner.

Sounds familiar... ROFL And I'm sure you meant 'she' wants to talk etc...??

Skip Towne
12-23-2004, 06:31 AM
I think that everyone here agrees that you should not marry or have children
Hahahaha!!!!!

Dartgod
12-23-2004, 06:41 AM
My pet peeve...

I'm in the living room, next to the TV, with the volume UP. She's walking towards the bathroom (or any other room in the house), AWAY from me and says something in a normal speaking voice and then gets pissed when I can't hear what she said.

She does it ALL THE TIME! :shake:

Frosty
12-23-2004, 07:05 AM
My pet peeve...

I'm in the living room, next to the TV, with the volume UP. She's walking towards the bathroom (or any other room in the house), AWAY from me and says something in a normal speaking voice and then gets pissed when I can't hear what she said.

She does it ALL THE TIME! :shake:

Mine does that, too.

The other big thing is she likes to rearrange things in the kitchen, so that I can never find anything. Then she denies that she moved anything. It's either her or elves. :shake:

Oh well, she looks so great in jeans, that I can put up with it. :thumb:

InChiefsHell
12-23-2004, 07:08 AM
HOly crap, I got a million of em, but I'll list the top ones...

She has a junk drawer and a junk box. Seriously, as a guy I guess I'm supposed to be down with that, but it is the dumbest pile of shit I've ever seen. And you can never clean it out, oh no. I'm always amazed at the amount of shit in there, yet when you need something it NEVER resides in the junk drawer.

Famous quotes:
"Once we paint our room this weekend I will be all done with the house..." LIAR!!!!

"How about tomorrow, honey, I'm really tired tonight". You know the saying about how tomorrow never comes...well....

Amnorix
12-23-2004, 07:10 AM
Do what I did -- delegate all Xmas shopping to the wife. Then this won't happen to you...

:LOL:

Dartgod
12-23-2004, 07:17 AM
You know the saying about how tomorrow never comes...well....
Neither do you?

InChiefsHell
12-23-2004, 07:20 AM
Neither do you?

Sure I do...just not in the desired way...
:mad:

(Thought that shit was supposed to be over with in High School...)

Mr. Kotter
12-23-2004, 07:28 AM
Famous quotes:
"Once we paint our room this weekend I will be all done with the house..." LIAR!!!!

....

That's one of my favs. :banghead:

We? We? Who are you talkin' about? Don't you mean, ME! :cuss:

jspchief
12-23-2004, 07:29 AM
I could honestly make alist that would crash the server, but i'll stick with the little things that I can't really bitch about without coming off as an anal jerk.

1. Putting my mail in a different spot every day. Having an office at home I get a ton of mail, some of which is pretty important. Well apparently she can't pick one spot to put my mail when she brings it inside. If I was gone for a week, I'd come home to seven different piles of mail. One in an obvious spot, two in the general vicinity of my desk, and the remaining four piles would be in completely obscure places that I'll only discover while in search of the f*cking Lost Ark of the Covenant.

2. Improper use of refrigerator shelves. The shelves in a refrigerator are all set at different heights. The top shelf has about 12" of headroom, so it's perfect for milk, 2 liters of pop, etc. So why is it that every time I need to put a tall item on the top shelf, I have to move seventeen different 4" items that would have fit on any other shelf in the damn fridge. Is it that hard to figure out? The short stuff goes on the short shelves. Meanwhile, the lettuce is frozen because she keeps it the meat drawer, and the lunch meat spoils faster because it's in the crisper.

Mr. Kotter
12-23-2004, 07:34 AM
My wife has not one, but two Master's degrees...

yet, can she friggin' figure out how to program the VCR, set the clock on the Microwave, hookup the Camcorder to the TV, or download pics to the computer?

No. It's like if it involves ANYTHING electronic, it's interfering with her friggin' brain waves or some sh*t. :shake:

Mojo Rising
12-23-2004, 07:40 AM
My wife has not one, but two Master's degrees...

yet, can she friggin' figure out how to program the VCR, set the clock on the Microwave, hookup the Camcorder to the TV, or download pics to the computer?

No. It's like if it involves ANYTHING electronic, it's interfering with her friggin' brain waves or some sh*t. :shake:

My wife doesn't have any Masters Degree but is as electronically challenged as your wife sounds.

That is until she demanded we get Tivo so she could record Oprah every day. She picked Tivo up like she was a Linux hacker. I still don't understand the magical power Oprah has over women.

Kerberos
12-23-2004, 07:43 AM
They're in a jar under the bathroom sink, next to the tampons. :D


No they are NOT ..his balls are in her purse where she can keep an eye on them and show them to her friends during the Wednesday Rotory meeting!

ROFL

Ghostof
12-23-2004, 07:51 AM
I spent close to $2000 this holiday season

dont talk to me about wives and presents and holidays

Braincase
12-23-2004, 07:57 AM
Sounds familiar... ROFL And I'm sure you meant 'she' wants to talk etc...??

Thanks for catching that one Codger. I usually go back and edit, but I was in a hurry this morning.

Scaga
12-23-2004, 08:01 AM
:banghead: :banghead:

#1 (on my list of many)

"I told you that last week....why can't you remember anything"

Bull$hit!!!!
Did it ever occur to her that perhaps once, just once, that SHE actually forgot to tell me!!!

#2 Breathing....I hate it when she does that :D


:banghead: :banghead:

Iowanian
12-23-2004, 08:02 AM
I'm not married. And hopefully I never will be.

If I were at home, I soooooooooooooooo have a pic waiting for a moment like this.

Iowanian
12-23-2004, 08:05 AM
Fraz,
The only reason women get away with HALF of the things they do, is because they have ALL of the Poosay.


I have no major complaints at this time. The worst thing Brideowanian does is keep the house too clean.

I'm probably the one that irritates her more, as hard as that may be to believe...........She can be looking at me, talking about something(maybe her day) and I just totally zone out and don't hear or retain anything....which comes up later when I don't remember or ask a question about what I was just told.

wutamess
12-23-2004, 08:05 AM
Your wife could be like mine's and turn put the toilet paper in the wrong way.

Or suggest get togethers with other people and come to me like they suggested the entire idea.

Or your wife could bounce checks because of "miscalculations" on her part.

Or your wife could put every piece of paper and child's homework on the kitchen table and act like I'm wrong for throwing it all away because it doesn't belong there.

~Constant instigator.

Skip Towne
12-23-2004, 08:07 AM
If I were at home, I soooooooooooooooo have a pic waiting for a moment like this.
Well, damn, and I soooooooooooo need to be entertained.

HemiEd
12-23-2004, 08:09 AM
:banghead: " Improper use of refrigerator shelves. The shelves in a refrigerator are all set at different heights. The top shelf has about 12" of headroom, so it's perfect for milk, 2 liters of pop, etc. So why is it that every time I need to put a tall item on the top shelf, I have to move seventeen different 4" items that would have fit on any other shelf in the damn fridge. Is it that hard to figure out? The short stuff goes on the short shelves. Meanwhile, the lettuce is frozen because she keeps it the meat drawer, and the lunch meat spoils faster because it's in the crisper."

This is classic, I gave up on this years ago and just deal with it. I had totally forgotten about, very funny! Made my day, I thought I was the only one that had a wife that could not figure this out. I think our Marriage is on it's fourth refrigerator and it has been a consistent issue through all of them! ROFL

JazzzLovr
12-23-2004, 08:11 AM
No. It's like if it involves ANYTHING electronic, it's interfering with her friggin' brain waves or some sh*t. :shake:

So, did you two meet online or something? Because that would explain a lot.




;)

Mojo Rising
12-23-2004, 08:12 AM
Fraz,
The only reason women get away with HALF of the things they do, is because they have ALL of the Poosay.


I have no major complaints at this time. The worst thing Brideowanian does is keep the house too clean.

I'm probably the one that irritates her more, as hard as that may be to believe...........She can be looking at me, talking about something(maybe her day) and I just totally zone out and don't hear or retain anything....which comes up later when I don't remember or ask a question about what I was just told.

I think I'm in your boat. The things I do have to piss off my wife worse than the things she does.

I can zone out too but my buddy really f'd up. We were at his wedding last month and not only did he not make his wife say she'd obey in her vows but he vowed to listen and talk with her. I have never heard such a vow. Whipped!

JazzzLovr
12-23-2004, 08:13 AM
Fraz,
The only reason women get away with HALF of the things they do, is because they have ALL of the Poosay.

Somebody should build a robot.

JazzzLovr
12-23-2004, 08:14 AM
Hey, Tim... When you run across that first Best Buy gift card, you're certainly welcome to send it to me. ;)

Chiefnj
12-23-2004, 08:15 AM
Sh*t your wife does that makes you insane:

Breathe.

ROYC75
12-23-2004, 08:17 AM
Too many to list...... Like Jeff, I'll plead the 5th in order to keep my balls in place as well.

BTW, there are some on here that do remind me of our house....LOL

This thread will be classic by noon today.

ptlyon
12-23-2004, 08:19 AM
Somebody should build a robot.

I agree

KCTitus
12-23-2004, 08:20 AM
It's really only 2 things...

First, my tombstone will say: "He waited..." I figure in the 15 years my wife and I have been married/dating, I have spent probably one single year waiting on her to get ready to go, leave for church, go to the parents house for dinner, go out to dinner...basically anything that required her to leave the house. But really, that's not the most irritating part...every single time she's leaving the house for ANY reason, she goes, gets in the car and then makes a minimum of TWO trips back inside for something. I never know what it is, but it's 2 trips back inside.

Second, someone mentioned the wife having a 'junk' drawer...how about a junk 'room' and it's not just any room, it's what is supposed to be the dining room. The wife's a pack rat, will not throw anything away. The house is so cluttered sometimes I just cant stand it and I go and hide out in my shed and watch ESPN. If I had the house for a month I could unload about 4 tons of junk and she would never miss it. Sometimes I'll try to secretly throw some of the stuff out, if she catches me I ask her if it's so important she can tell me exactly where I found it...If she's right, I'll let her keep it, if not, into the trash. She's yet to get it right one time.

RNR
12-23-2004, 08:22 AM
You think she makes you mad now wait untill she is your ex!

Iowanian
12-23-2004, 08:24 AM
This wouldn't be as much of a problem if you'd all listen to the Gospel of your good buddy Iowanian.

here it comes Endelt.....

"Spare the Rod, Spoil the Broad"
-Iowanian 3:16

Brando
12-23-2004, 08:24 AM
My fiance gets up at 5:30 and turns off the alarm. I don't need to be up until 6:45. She refuses to reset the alarm or wake me up. Then she runs around telling me that I'm going to be late for work. I spend most mornings wanting to blast her to the moon.

Iowanian
12-23-2004, 08:26 AM
Here's an idea...........get a 2nd clock.
I have my own Alarm clock but never use it....Brideowanian gets up earlier, gets ready and then comes in and rousts me from my slumber.

Brando
12-23-2004, 08:34 AM
Here's an idea...........get a 2nd clock.
I have my own Alarm clock but never use it....Brideowanian gets up earlier, gets ready and then comes in and rousts me from my slumber.
I was thinking about chaining her up in the basement without food until she agrees to wake me with a bj every morning. We live in an old house and outlets are at a premium. After having her make up lights, fan, humidifier, and alarm clock plugged in I'm S.O.L.

KCTitus
12-23-2004, 08:36 AM
I have an alarm clock/radio/cd player thing that I got last year for Christmas that has the ability to have 2 different alarm times and it has a button you press on Friday AM and it doesnt go off on Sat or Sun, but goes off again on Mon AM.

jspchief
12-23-2004, 08:39 AM
I have an alarm clock/radio/cd player thing that I got last year for Christmas that has the ability to have 2 different alarm times and it has a button you press on Friday AM and it doesnt go off on Sat or Sun, but goes off again on Mon AM.

Nice. The guy that invented that should win a freaking nobel prize.

Brando
12-23-2004, 08:40 AM
I have an alarm clock/radio/cd player thing that I got last year for Christmas that has the ability to have 2 different alarm times and it has a button you press on Friday AM and it doesnt go off on Sat or Sun, but goes off again on Mon AM.
Mine does the same thing. She has to have them both set for her. The real bite in the ass is that about the time I wake up Dr. Phil is giving his daily word of wisdom on KMBC (which is always on in the a.m. :cuss: ).
Why am I telling you all this? That way someone will understand when I eventually end up in a belltower.

Phobia
12-23-2004, 08:40 AM
Here's my favorite (and by favorite, I mean $#it that makes me want to go Scott Peterson):

Me: Hey honey, where you want to eat?

Her: Oh, I don't care. What do you feel like.

Me: Anything's fine with me.

Her: Whatever you want.

Me: Ok. How about Chinese?


This is where our stories differ. I'll throw out 3 or 4 suggestions, and get vetoed on each. Why in the hell does she even ASK WTF I want to eat if she's gonna veto each? Bugs the shit out of me. Don't ASK me if you don't want my opinion.

But, she's the one who knows where everything is.... In fact, she's so good, sometimes I suspect she's moving stuff to obscure locations so she can look good. The other day, I found one flip flop exactly where it belonged in my closet. Hey, where's my other flip flop? Check the dog's toybox, she said. There it was. WTF is that? How did it get there? The dog damn sure didn't put it there because he wouldn't dare touch something that didn't belong to him (seriously).

stevieray
12-23-2004, 08:46 AM
you want something to eat or drink? nope.

five minutes later you'r esharing your lunch.


Hangs shirts (that should be folded) on hangers, so when you pull it off the hanger, you have horns on your shoulders.

KCTitus
12-23-2004, 08:47 AM
Mine does the same thing. She has to have them both set for her. The real bite in the ass is that about the time I wake up Dr. Phil is giving his daily word of wisdom on KMBC (which is always on in the a.m. :cuss: ).
Why am I telling you all this? That way someone will understand when I eventually end up in a belltower.

LMAO...

RNR
12-23-2004, 08:47 AM
you want something to eat or drink? nope.

five minutes later your sharing your lunch.
ROFL

Boozer
12-23-2004, 08:49 AM
This is where our stories differ. I'll throw out 3 or 4 suggestions, and get vetoed on each. Why in the hell does she even ASK WTF I want to eat if she's gonna veto each? Bugs the shit out of me. Don't ASK me if you don't want my opinion.



GOD, that sounds familiar. I don't offer suggestions anymore, even when prompted. It's a hell of a lot easier to repeat "Why should I, you'll just shoot it down?" four times than think up places I'd actually like to eat and risk getting my hopes up.

Skip Towne
12-23-2004, 08:51 AM
you want something to eat or drink? nope.

five minutes later your sharing your lunch. Mine did this. Togetherness.

Nzoner
12-23-2004, 08:55 AM
After reading this entire thread all I have to say is I concur.

Ghostof
12-23-2004, 08:56 AM
Shit your wife does that MAKES YOU INSANE:




She doesnt swallow

Phobia
12-23-2004, 08:58 AM
Shit your wife does that MAKES YOU INSANE:




She doesnt swallow

I think I may have dated her once. And I do mean once.

Brando
12-23-2004, 08:58 AM
Shit your wife does that MAKES YOU INSANE:




She doesnt swallow
Start popping off in her eye. Enough of the burn and she'll either swallow or stop giving head. Ummm...on second thought..sorry I'm no help here.

stevieray
12-23-2004, 08:59 AM
Shit your wife does that MAKES YOU INSANE:




She doesnt swallow


did you know this before you married her?

Ghostof
12-23-2004, 09:00 AM
yes and no

Brando
12-23-2004, 09:01 AM
yes and no
I find that when you tie them down with a gun to their head they will do just about anything that you ask.

Nzoner
12-23-2004, 09:05 AM
Shit your wife does that MAKES YOU INSANE:

She doesnt swallow

Thankfully,my post made it in a minute before this.

PastorMikH
12-23-2004, 09:05 AM
Sounds like you all need to come hear my wife-training sermons.:)



She used to gripe because I didn't help enough around the house. Then she started griping about the job I did when helping around the house. After about 6 months of this I told her to forget it, if I was going to get yelled at, I was going to deserve it. So I quit doing just about everything. Now she just pretty much keeps her mouth shut when I help out around the house now.

Nzoner
12-23-2004, 09:09 AM
Sounds like you all need to come hear my wife-training sermons.

Could you call it something else,my wife ain't coming to nothing with a title like that.

Dartgod
12-23-2004, 09:12 AM
Hangs shirts (that should be folded) on hangers, so when you pull it off the hanger, you have horns on your shoulders.
Yeah, I hate that one too, but it's not that bad.

What I do hate though is when she hangs a shirt and my work slacks on the same hanger. No biggie if I want to wear that shirt/slacks combo. But if I just want the slacks, it's a gigantic PITA to get them off the hanger.

Nzoner
12-23-2004, 09:13 AM
You don't want to buy the GF's domestic(Kitchen Appliances ect.) shit or they get pissed at you. Anybody got any ideas???:hmmm:

I'd suggest something for the both of you,like Victoria's Secret.

Brando
12-23-2004, 09:13 AM
Yeah, I hate that one too, but it's not that bad.

What I do hate though is when she hangs a shirt and my work slacks on the same hanger. No biggie if I want to wear that shirt/slacks combo. But if I just want the slacks, it's a gigantic PITA to get them off the hanger.
Does no one beat their wife anymore? That's it..I'm calling my wedding off. Having a wife is like having a penis. It's no fun unless you get to beat it twice a day.

Lzen
12-23-2004, 09:26 AM
OMG, this thread is hilarious! I especially like this one.

My wife has not one, but two Master's degrees...

yet, can she friggin' figure out how to program the VCR, set the clock on the Microwave, hookup the Camcorder to the TV, or download pics to the computer?

No. It's like if it involves ANYTHING electronic, it's interfering with her friggin' brain waves or some sh*t. :shake:


My wife may not have any Master's degrees but, she is an intelligent woman. But she is the same way. I can teach my kids how to operate electronics easier than teaching her. :shake:

Frosty
12-23-2004, 09:27 AM
Then she started griping about the job I did when helping around the house.

The way to never have to help with housework is to always do it wrong or, at least, in a way that bugs the crap outta her. Stuff like tupperware on the bottom shelf of the dishwasher, mixing colors and whites in the washer, stuff like that.

My wife would rearrange the dishwasher EVERY time I loaded. Now I don't load it. :)

bogie
12-23-2004, 09:33 AM
When she wants me to do something, rather than just coming out and asking, she gives me suttle hints. MAN that drives me crazy

Brando
12-23-2004, 09:34 AM
When she wants me to do something, rather than just coming out and asking, she gives me suttle hints. MAN that drives me crazy
Stay away from my fiance you bastard!
:cuss:

stevieray
12-23-2004, 09:35 AM
something wrong? nope

thirty minutes later......

Brando
12-23-2004, 09:38 AM
something wrong? nope

thirty minutes later......
or three weeks LOL I love the way they hold on to the little shit like sleeping with their sister.

InChiefsHell
12-23-2004, 09:39 AM
The way to never have to help with housework is to always do it wrong or, at least, in a way that bugs the crap outta her. Stuff like tupperware on the bottom shelf of the dishwasher, mixing colors and whites in the washer, stuff like that.

My wife would rearrange the dishwasher EVERY time I loaded. Now I don't load it. :)

Oh hell ya. I basically nipped that whole "you never do anything to help around here" crap in the bud. I told her that the truth is, I do plenty, I just don't do it her way. She either accepts the way that I do it, or does it herself and STFU...she chose to accept it, for the most part. But that took many many years...

InChiefsHell
12-23-2004, 09:40 AM
or three weeks LOL I love the way they hold on to the little shit like sleeping with their sister.
ROFL ROFL Gotta rep that...

Lzen
12-23-2004, 09:41 AM
Sounds like you all need to come hear my wife-training sermons.:)



She used to gripe because I didn't help enough around the house. Then she started griping about the job I did when helping around the house. After about 6 months of this I told her to forget it, if I was going to get yelled at, I was going to deserve it. So I quit doing just about everything. Now she just pretty much keeps her mouth shut when I help out around the house now.

Ha ha ha! Mine absolutely hates the way I fold clothes, especially towels. Needless to say, I hardly ever have to do that job. :)

On this same subject, mine always ask me to help around the house. So, I do clean up. Then, she'll just start throwing her stuff everywhere. WTF? The room is perfectly clean so now it's time to dirty it up again? Then I tell her that's why I hate cleaning. Eh, that doesn't go over too well, though.
:shake:

PastorMikH
12-23-2004, 09:43 AM
Could you call it something else,my wife ain't coming to nothing with a title like that.


Refer to Iowanian's post and tell her to get in the car NOW!.


:)

journeyscarab
12-23-2004, 09:54 AM
She'll sometimes say something to make me think she's "frisky," but then later she "changes her mind." :banghead:

Yes, I get this often. Especially when I am at the office and have no chance of getting home to take care of business.

Then they have the gall to make you feel like your the pervert when you show up to make good on the request.

bogie
12-23-2004, 10:02 AM
Stay away from my fiance you bastard!
:cuss:

You too huh? I broke her of it, simply by telling her I don't take hints.

sd4chiefs
12-23-2004, 10:13 AM
My wife is hooked on catalogs. We get about 20 catalogs a day. During Chrismas it is more like 30 a day. One of these days the postoffice is going too give us our own zip code. She will read these catalogs every night and place an order. Almost every other day the UPS or Fedex guy is at the door with a package.

I know that some of you are thinking that she is banging them but I work at home so I know she is not.

What really drives me crazy is when she wants me to return something that she has ordered because it was something stupid and she should not have ordered it anyway and she tells me that she is saving us money by returning it. :hmmm: So, we had to spend money to have this stupid thing shipped by UPS or Fedex and now we have to spend money to send it back and somehow we are saving money. :banghead: :banghead: :banghead:

We have had some heated words about this stupid way of saving money but she has a very stressfull job and makes a lot of money so I just let it go. She has also cut back on the stupid catalog orders. At least she doesn't keep the stupid catalog order and hide it from me.

InChiefsHell
12-23-2004, 10:20 AM
My wife is hooked on catalogs. We get about 20 catalogs a day. During Chrismas it is more like 30 a day. One of these days the postoffice is going too give us our own zip code. She will read these catalogs every night and place an order. Almost every other day the UPS or Fedex guy is at the door with a package.

I know that some of you are thinking that she is banging them but I work at home so I know she is not.

What really drives me crazy is when she wants me to return something that she has ordered because it was something stupid and she should not have ordered it anyway and she tells me that she is saving us money by returning it. :hmmm: So, we had to spend money to have this stupid thing shipped by UPS or Fedex and now we have to spend money to send it back and somehow we are saving money. :banghead: :banghead: :banghead:

We have had some heated words about this stupid way of saving money but she has a very stressfull job and makes a lot of money so I just let it go. She has also cut back on the stupid catalog orders. At least she doesn't keep the stupid catalog order and hide it from me.

Years ago my wife ordered a magnetic dry erase board and a cordless phone...from Fingerhut. I blew my stack. These are items that you can get just as cheaply at Walmart, minus the shipping!! She doesn't do so much of the calendar ordering, but she is quite the online shopper...at least she doesn't buy as much stupid shit as she used to...

InChiefsHell
12-23-2004, 10:24 AM
Yes, I get this often. Especially when I am at the office and have no chance of getting home to take care of business.

Then they have the gall to make you feel like your the pervert when you show up to make good on the request.

Yup. My wife will sometimes come out and tell me that I will be very happy later that night, not even being coy. We're talkin sure thing!!! then she gets tired and tells me we'll do it tomorrow...grrrrrrr.

RNR
12-23-2004, 10:29 AM
Said yes to the dumbest question I ever asked :banghead:

Brando
12-23-2004, 10:32 AM
Said yes to the dumbest question I ever asked :banghead:
Is Kerry Collins a capable backup to Rich Gannon?

JazzzLovr
12-23-2004, 10:33 AM
Is Kerry Collins a capable backup to Rich Gannon?

I thought maybe he asked if those pants made his butt look fat.

RNR
12-23-2004, 10:33 AM
Is Kerry Collins a capable backup to Rich Gannon?
Putem up putem up!

RNR
12-23-2004, 10:39 AM
I thought maybe he asked if those pants made his butt look fat.Leave my butt out of this I lost that in my divorce :harumph:

Iowanian
12-23-2004, 10:49 AM
I thought of something.

Your woman ever try to talk to you through the door when you're birthin a R@ider Fan?

Phobia
12-23-2004, 10:53 AM
I thought of something.

Your woman ever try to talk to you through the door when you're birthin a R@ider Fan?

That doesn't really bother me. For some reason, I have a real problem with people seeing me wiping the afterbirth away, though. Go figure. Fortunately, this one was resolved early in the relationship by showing her the shit blots on the paper. She didn't even see an angel or anything.... Ain't happened since.

picasso
12-23-2004, 10:58 AM
The fan.
My wife from the time I met her has gone to bed with a fan on. (We met in the summer) For white noise to help her sleep. That is fine - BUT NOT IN THE FRICKIN WINTER!!!! I complain about it every year and it doesn't change a thing.

Now recently I stopped smoking. It's been 2 months and I am feeling pretty good, but I have started snoring for some damn reason. Probably cause I am not inhaling all day and my breathing is out of whack. Now she's pissed at me every morning because she can't sleep.
I explain it's just intermittent white noise.

KevB
12-23-2004, 10:58 AM
My wife is very cool, let's me do my thing, takes care of the kids....but after 9 years of marriage.....

I hate that we get the kids to bed, sit down to watch a movie together and she's out like a light 5 minutes in. Why not just go to bed and let me watch my mindless action adventure without the sawing wood background noise?

I hate that she gets new (nice) tennis shoes every few months because she treats them like sh!t. Never unlaces to put on/take off, etc. I've still got shoes from 6 years ago that look brand new, while her 1 month old shoes look like she mugged a homeless person.

I hate that she won't move into the 21st century with our finances. Still wants to write in a check register and balance manually. Um, that takes 1/2 the time and is more accurate on the computer....she'll have none of it.

Doesn't swallow....I know, I tried to set the precedent early on, but it wasn't happening. She's open to other things, so I don't push it.

Plays the "wait 'till Daddy gets home" card with the kids. Yet, disapproves when I yell at them. Well, the reason they listen to me is because there is a hint of fear. That fear comes from my ability to become visibly angry in a matter of seconds. Perfected by watching the Chiefs BTW.

Having said all of this, I couldn't ask for a better mate and mother to my children. I'm sure her list about me is longer than this entire thread....

JazzzLovr
12-23-2004, 11:01 AM
I explain it's just intermittent white noise.

:LOL:

Phobia
12-23-2004, 11:04 AM
My wife is very cool, let's me do my thing, takes care of the kids....but after 9 years of marriage.....

I hate that we get the kids to bed, sit down to watch a movie together and she's out like a light 5 minutes in. Why not just go to bed and let me watch my mindless action adventure without the sawing wood background noise?

I hate that she gets new (nice) tennis shoes every few months because she treats them like sh!t. Never unlaces to put on/take off, etc. I've still got shoes from 6 years ago that look brand new, while her 1 month old shoes look like she mugged a homeless person.

I hate that she won't move into the 21st century with our finances. Still wants to write in a check register and balance manually. Um, that takes 1/2 the time and is more accurate on the computer....she'll have none of it.

Doesn't swallow....I know, I tried to set the precedent early on, but it wasn't happening. She's open to other things, so I don't push it.

Plays the "wait 'till Daddy gets home" card with the kids. Yet, disapproves when I yell at them. Well, the reason they listen to me is because there is a hint of fear. That fear comes from my ability to become visibly angry in a matter of seconds. Perfected by watching the Chiefs BTW.

Having said all of this, I couldn't ask for a better mate and mother to my children. I'm sure her list about me is longer than this entire thread....

Holy crap. Your wife is the polar opposite of mine. She has sneakers that look brand new that may predate me. She swallows. She's an electronics whiz. I'm the one falling asleep during the movie. But, I'm also sure her list about me is longer than this thread. Heh heh. I have it pretty good, I guess. My only real complaint is that she won't pick up hot women to bring home. Not a deal breaker.... for now anyway.

Frosty
12-23-2004, 11:14 AM
For white noise to help her sleep. That is fine - BUT NOT IN THE FRICKIN WINTER!!!! I complain about it every year and it doesn't change a thing.

I do that, too, otherwise every single noise will wake me up. The drone of the fan covers that up.

Fortunately, my wife doesn't care. She could sleep with a train going through our room. :rolleyes: Twice we have had our smoke detectors trigger in the middle of the night. These are the kind that if one goes off, they all go off. The noise is mind-numbing.

She slept through it both times. :shake:

PastorMikH
12-23-2004, 11:23 AM
I hate that we get the kids to bed, sit down to watch a movie together and she's out like a light 5 minutes in. Why not just go to bed and let me watch my mindless action adventure without the sawing wood background noise?




Yeah, mine does all that, except for the snoring. I can't put "We Were Soldiers" in because we're supposed to be watching it together. However, 5 minutes into the movie she picks, she's out.

I did switch on her once though. She was out like a light, I threw in "Rules of Engagement". There's that part at the beginning where Tommy Lee Jones is in Nam. They're sneaking through the jungle and I cranked the sound. All of a sudden there's a fire fight with all kinds of explosions and bullet zings. She came up about 4 feet off that couch with the funniest look on her face.

chiefs4me
12-23-2004, 11:27 AM
The crap my husband does to piss me off,,,,,,,,

How about suprising me with cooking breakfast,,only to dirty every freaking pan we own,,grease everywhere and not cleaning up the mess.

How about starting a new project every couple of days and not finishing the one he was working on.

Not ever picking up his dirty clothes from the bathroom floor when the hamper is a foot away.

I make him a list for the store with the price,aisle,shape,form,color of what I want only to have him come home without anything on my list.

Spending an hour picking out a movie to watch only to have it be the most boring movie ever.

Driving MY truck,,,but me never getting to drive his camaro.

Oh I could go on and on,,,but these are just a few.

Rain Man
12-23-2004, 11:32 AM
The crap my husband does to piss me off,,,,,,,,

How about suprising me with cooking breakfast,,only to dirty every freaking pan we own,,grease everywhere and not cleaning up the mess.

How about starting a new project every couple of days and not finishing the one he was working on.

Not ever picking up his dirty clothes from the bathroom floor when the hamper is a foot away.

I make him a list for the store with the price,aisle,shape,form,color of what I want only to have him come home without anything on my list.

Spending an hour picking out a movie to watch only to have it be the most boring movie ever.

Driving MY truck,,,but me never getting to drive his camaro.

Oh I could go on and on,,,but these are just a few.


Until you got to the part about the truck and the camaro, I was thinking that maybe you were my wife.

stevieray
12-23-2004, 11:32 AM
Oh I could go on and on,,,.

We know, trust us.

ck_IN
12-23-2004, 11:35 AM
My gripes are pretty trivial all in all.

My biggest is her complete inability to turn off lights. Sometimes every light in the house will be on. Often I literally walk behind her and turn off lights.

She has a similiar problem with doors. She almost never shuts them completely, leaving just enough ajar for me to destroy my big toe when I run into them.

She's also way more inhibited then me and my drive would prefer but oh well I can't complain about the quanity.

JazzzLovr
12-23-2004, 11:35 AM
We know, trust us.

:LOL:

nmt1
12-23-2004, 11:38 AM
Yeah, mine does all that, except for the snoring. I can't put "We Were Soldiers" in because we're supposed to be watching it together. However, 5 minutes into the movie she picks, she's out.

Just a suggestion. Get yourself a DVD changer. I've got one that holds seven disks and can switch movies without getting up. This would be perfect for when she falls asleep near you and you don't want to disturb her by getting up.

Here's one (http://www.bestbuy.com/site/olspage.jsp?id=1077630479848&skuId=6563658&productCategoryId=cat03013&type=product)

Rain Man
12-23-2004, 11:40 AM
Just a suggestion. Get yourself a DVD changer. I've got one that holds seven disks and can switch movies without getting up. This would be perfect for when she falls asleep near you and you don't want to disturb her by getting up.

Here's one (http://www.bestbuy.com/site/olspage.jsp?id=1077630479848&skuId=6563658&productCategoryId=cat03013&type=product)

You still have to get up to put them in the DVD rewinder afterward, though.

nmt1
12-23-2004, 11:44 AM
You still have to get up to put them in the DVD rewinder afterward, though.

I don't need one of those and I don't believe any of that stuff about it ruining the DVD player by using it to rewind your DVD's.

Fried Meat Ball!
12-23-2004, 11:47 AM
Like others, my wife loses crap but didn't touch them. It's amazing. Then after we fight and she says I always accuse her of losing stuff, then she finds it and remembers putting it there. She does apologize, but next time it happens she'll get hopping mad because I accuse her and it starts all over again... lately, it's been:

HER: I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING WITH IT. I DIDN'T TOUCH IT! WHY DO YOU ALWAYS ACCUSE ME OF LOSING SHIT!

ME: BECAUSE YOU ALWAYS LOSE SHIT!

HER: BUT I DIDN'T THIS TIME!

.......

HER: Oh, here it is... sorry!

Drives me nuts! She also leaves lights on and doors open, not to mention her inability to ever load or unload the dishwasher and complete ignorance to the invention and/or presence of a clothes hamper.

JazzzLovr
12-23-2004, 11:48 AM
The crap my wife does to piss me off:

Sometimes I try to do something nice like making breakfast for her. I just thought maybe she would like it if she could sleep in a little bit longer and have her breakfast ready when she got up. But do I get a "Thank you"? No. All she does is bitch about how I dirtied every pan we own, got grease everywhere and didn't clean up afterward.

She also has this "Honey-do" list a mile long every time I get home, and she won't let me finish one project before she tells me to do another one. :rolleyes:

And she makes me go to the store and buy her maxi pads! She even writes down the price, aisle, shape, form, and color, as if I want that detailed a description. She should get off her ass and buy them herself.

When we try to pick out a movie, she won't help. I just get "I don't care, you pick." Then all she does through the whole movie is complain about how boring it is.

And she spends half her life posting stupid shit on internet bulletin boards when she should be in the kitchen making me a pie.

Oh I could go on and on, but these are just a few.

mlyonsd
12-23-2004, 11:50 AM
Use my truck and leave all her crap in it when she gets home. Again.

Phobia
12-23-2004, 11:51 AM
Like others, my wife loses crap but didn't touch them. It's amazing. Then after we fight and she says I always accuse her of losing stuff, then she finds it and remembers putting it there. She does apologize, but next time it happens she'll get hopping mad because I accuse her and it starts all over again... lately, it's been:

HER: I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING WITH IT. I DIDN'T TOUCH IT! WHY DO YOU ALWAYS ACCUSE ME OF LOSING SHIT!

ME: BECAUSE YOU ALWAYS LOSE SHIT!

HER: BUT I DIDN'T THIS TIME!

.......

HER: Oh, here it is... sorry!

Drives me nuts! She also leaves lights on and doors open, not to mention her inability to ever load or unload the dishwasher and complete ignorance to the invention and/or presence of a clothes hamper.

This is your wife or your husband?

ptlyon
12-23-2004, 11:51 AM
Use my truck and leave all her crap in it when she gets home. Again.

I'm telling

mlyonsd
12-23-2004, 11:52 AM
I'm telling

Go ahead....we're going to have words tonight when I get home.

Fried Meat Ball!
12-23-2004, 11:55 AM
This is your wife or your husband?

That would be my beautiful, young, loving... ADHD F-ing wife. She does crap like that all the time.

Gaz
12-23-2004, 11:57 AM
Well, there is this little noise she makes when IÖ

Oh. You were talking about bad stuff.

I got nothing.

xoxo~
Gaz
Disgustingly content.

KCTitus
12-23-2004, 12:02 PM
Well, there is this little noise she makes when IÖ

Oh. You were talking about bad stuff.

I got nothing.

xoxo~
Gaz
Disgustingly content.


That's one whipped puppy...does she keep your boys in a mason jar on her nightstand, too?

Frosty
12-23-2004, 12:16 PM
Jazzz, I think he forgot to mention the incesant whining about driving the camaro, when you should see her truck.

Calcountry
12-23-2004, 12:21 PM
The first week of December, I finished my Christmas shopping. One of the gifts was a Best Buy gift card for the brother-in-law. I put it in a spot in the kitchen where it wouldn't get lost. So, I went to wrap it tonight, and GUESS WHAT - it's gone.

I didn't touch the f#cking thing. But, like every other goddamn thing that dissappears around here, the wife HAS NO IDEA WHERE IT IS AND NEVER TOUCHED IT. Just like every other damn thing that she swears she never saw or touched that I find in some maddeningly stupid-assed place that only she would put it, anywhere from a week to a year later, and always when I'm looking for something else that magically vanished in the same manner. "Wasn't me, honey. Must have been you. And why do you always blame me?"

BECAUSE YOU'RE ALWAYS THE ONE WHO F#CKING LOSES THINGS!

:cuss:

And then, when I cleary bust her on it, she still denies it. Never an apology. Never an "I was wrong." Just I DIDN'T DO IT.

:#

Well, I don't have a week to a year to wait for this to turn up, so I'll have to go back out at the height of last-minute-rush Christmas shopping hell and replace it (I'd make her do it, but she doesn't drive). I'M SO F#CKING PISSED OFF I CAN'T SEE STRAIGHT. More money flying out of my wallet after a month that has already seen me melt my friggin credit cards into goo.

WHY DOES SHE DO THIS? WHY WHY WHY

:banghead: :cuss: :#
She gets stressed out every Christmas.

chiefs4me
12-23-2004, 12:21 PM
Until you got to the part about the truck and the camaro, I was thinking that maybe you were my wife.


ROFL that's just to dam funny,,,,,thinks for the laugh,,pos rep for you today.

CHIEF4EVER
12-23-2004, 12:23 PM
I have, likely, the best spouse in the entire world bar NONE. There is noone I would rather spend eternity with. That being said, is there a female law against moving the seat back to it's previous position when finished using her husbands pickup? Honestly. She is about a foot and a half shorter than me and she leaves the pickup seat in the same position she drove it in. Getting back into my own pickup is like sitting in Peewee Hermans baby chair for crying out loud. It is a simple thing really.....husband is 18 inches taller - readjust the seat when done using his pickup so he doesn't get bruises on his extremeties and clausterphobic gettin into his own friggin truck!!!!!!!!!!

Lzen
12-23-2004, 12:23 PM
Use my truck and leave all her crap in it when she gets home. Again.

Mine does that, too. She drives the van M-F to drop the kids off at the sitter/school. I drive the car. We always take the van when we go anywhere together. But once in awhile, she'll take the car for something. When it gets back, the once clean car has her crap/trash in it. :banghead:

journeyscarab
12-23-2004, 12:28 PM
Mine does that, too. She drives the van M-F to drop the kids off at the sitter/school. I drive the car. We always take the van when we go anywhere together. But once in awhile, she'll take the car for something. When it gets back, the once clean car has her crap/trash in it. :banghead:

The house has to be clean as if we were expecting guests - but the van she drives everyone everywhere - a friggin' dumpster on wheels. She complains she doesnt have enough time to clean the van cause she's too busy cleaning the house like Martha Stewart was going to visit. :banghead:

DTLB58
12-23-2004, 12:29 PM
She ALWAYS leaves the mirror doors open on the vanity cabinet in the bathroom! She opens them to get something out or opens the two outside mirrors to see the back of her hair and then walks out of the room and leaves the damn things open, EVERY time. :cuss:

chiefs4me
12-23-2004, 12:29 PM
Jazzlover are you a man?

Lzen
12-23-2004, 12:32 PM
Jazzlover are you a man?

JazzzLovr is a woman. A pretty damn funny one, too.

Frosty
12-23-2004, 12:32 PM
Jazzlover are you a man?

The fact that she isn't is what makes that post so funny. She hit it perfect from the male point of view.

JazzzLovr
12-23-2004, 12:35 PM
Jazzlover are you a man?

No, just one of those rare women with a little common sense.

Fried Meat Ball!
12-23-2004, 12:38 PM
She ALWAYS leaves the mirror doors open on the vanity cabinet in the bathroom! She opens them to get something out or opens the two outside mirrors to see the back of her hair and then walks out of the room and leaves the damn things open, EVERY time. :cuss:
I forgot that, my wife leaves cabinet doors open... I look for a dish and the friggin' cat's sitting in a pot.

Phobia
12-23-2004, 12:45 PM
Mine does that, too. She drives the van M-F to drop the kids off at the sitter/school. I drive the car. We always take the van when we go anywhere together. But once in awhile, she'll take the car for something. When it gets back, the once clean car has her crap/trash in it. :banghead:

I drove our Yukon for the first 2 years. I'm not a clean snob or anything, but it still looked nice when I relinquished it to her. Now it looks like another closet in our home. She uses it to store everything. Drive me nuts. I'm guessing the McDonalds bag that was on the floorboard of the back seat a month ago is still there. I think I'm gonna check on my way out today.

chiefs4me
12-23-2004, 12:54 PM
No, just one of those rare women with a little common sense.


Well I thought so,,but your post made me wonder,,,,,because a little common sense would tell you that when the man is up,,everyone is up. Having children I haven't slept in,,,in 18 years.

How about taking me out to breakfast or just letting me fix it so I don't have 3 times the work I did before you cooked honey.

NO HONEY-DO list in my house,,I fix everything.

Maxi pads,,,I am not 16.

I would gladly trade places and go to the store but he wants to go look at tools and not have to watch the kids.

In our house My husband picks the movie so no one to blame but him.

1/2 my life on the web,,,,well I also happen to be working on the net transcribing Med records and watching the kids while hubby is watching a movie or playing in the garage.

So I guess you see why I thought you were a man,,,with the post you made,,,,sorry about the gender mixup.

Iowanian
12-23-2004, 12:55 PM
SEE!
A broad shows up and already with the naggin', bitchin' and fightin.........

Just a week or two ago, you were on here, on a rant about how your Husband was gone all the time working, bringin home the bacon.

stevieray
12-23-2004, 12:55 PM
Well I thought so,,but your post made me wonder,,,,,because a little common sense would tell you that when the man is up,,everyone is up. Having children I haven't slept in,,,in 18 years.

How about taking me out to breakfast or just letting me fix it so I don't have 3 times the work I did before you cooked honey.

NO HONEY-DO list in my house,,I fix everything.

Maxi pads,,,I am not 16.

I would gladly trade places and go to the store but he wants to go look at tools and not have to watch the kids.

In our house My husband picks the movie so no one to blame but him.

1/2 my life on the web,,,,well I also happen to be working on the net transcribing Med records and watching the kids while hubby is watching a movie or playing in the garage.

So I guess you see why I thought you were a man,,,with the post you made,,,,sorry about the gender mixup.

and on and on ...

JazzzLovr
12-23-2004, 12:56 PM
So I guess you see why I thought you were a man,,,with the post you made,,,,sorry about the gender mixup.

No apologies necessary. With women like you around, I considered it a compliment.

Iowanian
12-23-2004, 12:57 PM
I'll be he asks his boss for EXTRA traveling assignments.

Poor fugger. If I had his address, I'd send him some ear plugs and a rabbit fur lined pocket 'giner.

Rain Man
12-23-2004, 12:59 PM
Perhaps jazzz can fill the hermaphrodite niche that has been missing around here lately.

Dartgod
12-23-2004, 01:00 PM
Well I thought so,,but your post made me wonder,,,,,because a little common sense would tell you that when the man is up,,everyone is up. Having children I haven't slept in,,,in 18 years.

How about taking me out to breakfast or just letting me fix it so I don't have 3 times the work I did before you cooked honey.

NO HONEY-DO list in my house,,I fix everything.

Maxi pads,,,I am not 16.

I would gladly trade places and go to the store but he wants to go look at tools and not have to watch the kids.

In our house My husband picks the movie so no one to blame but him.

1/2 my life on the web,,,,well I also happen to be working on the net transcribing Med records and watching the kids while hubby is watching a movie or playing in the garage.

So I guess you see why I thought you were a man,,,with the post you made,,,,sorry about the gender mixup.
Don't you have some laundry to do? Or some shirts to iron? Anything?

Dartgod
12-23-2004, 01:01 PM
No, just one of those rare women with a little common sense.
Damn, you're on a roll today. I'd rep ya again, but I have to spread some around first. :thumb:

hellhead
12-23-2004, 01:02 PM
SEE!
A broad shows up and already with the naggin', bitchin' and fightin.........



Too funny... ROFL

JazzzLovr
12-23-2004, 01:03 PM
Perhaps jazzz can fill the hermaphrodite niche that has been missing around here lately.

ROFL That's just so wrong.

And to think, I used to like you... :shake:

Iowanian
12-23-2004, 01:05 PM
I should recommend to the women who read this, that in the Christmas Spirt, and I do wish you all a Merry Christmas.............You'd better start now, working on that pained look of disappointment so you'll have it perfected when the jewelry store clerk with the extra cleavage cons us into buying that Janky Jewelry you won't wear.

Men will be happy if you'll just let us watch the game in peace, without naggin us to take out the Christmas garbage on 3rd and 1............and it wouldn't hurt to bring a beer without having to ask.

That is all........back to your baking.

Frosty
12-23-2004, 01:09 PM
SEE!
A broad shows up and already with the naggin', bitchin' and fightin.........

Just a week or two ago, you were on here, on a rant about how your Husband was gone all the time working, bringin home the bacon.

I am reminded of the recent Notorious Cherry Bombs song:

It's Tough to Kiss the Lips at Night (That Chew Your Ass Out All Day Long)

chiefs4me
12-23-2004, 01:12 PM
SEE!
A broad shows up and already with the naggin', bitchin' and fightin.........

Just a week or two ago, you were on here, on a rant about how your Husband was gone all the time working, bringin home the bacon.


oh no buddy,,,,you might of read how he was gone all the time working,,,,but I never said I wished he was home.ROFL He has 6 weeks a year vacation time,,,and decided to use 2 weeks straight,,,so no rest for me till next monday.:deevee: And I didn't know I was fighting with anybody.

Iowanian
12-23-2004, 01:16 PM
Shouldn't you be busy catching up on your "wifely duty" if he's gone that much?

He's probably counting the days until he gets to go back to the work...inspecting the inside of septic tanks.

In the holiday spirit.......you should probably let the poor guy do the dirty thing.

chiefs4me
12-23-2004, 01:17 PM
I'll be he asks his boss for EXTRA traveling assignments.

Poor fugger. If I had his address, I'd send him some ear plugs and a rabbit fur lined pocket 'giner.


Sometimes your rudeness is a little much to take,,so I will leave this thread all to you. bye

Iowanian
12-23-2004, 01:18 PM
This is why Men spend so much time in garages.

chiefs4me
12-23-2004, 01:19 PM
I should recommend to the women who read this, that in the Christmas Spirt, and I do wish you all a Merry Christmas.............You'd better start now, working on that pained look of disappointment so you'll have it perfected when the jewelry store clerk with the extra cleavage cons us into buying that Janky Jewelry you won't wear.

Men will be happy if you'll just let us watch the game in peace, without naggin us to take out the Christmas garbage on 3rd and 1............and it wouldn't hurt to bring a beer without having to ask.

That is all........back to your baking.


oh one other thing,,I would wish you a Merry Christmas also,,but I really don't believe you meant it,,,,,

Iowanian
12-23-2004, 01:21 PM
I meant it....
Thought you were stomping out and slamming the door on this thread?

Brando
12-23-2004, 01:23 PM
Why would a woman even think about getting on this thread after reading the title?

Rain Man
12-23-2004, 01:29 PM
Why would a woman even think about getting on this thread after reading the title?

Yeah. It drives me insane when they do that.

keg in kc
12-23-2004, 01:30 PM
I was insane a long time before I was married.

Brando
12-23-2004, 01:31 PM
Yeah. It drives me insane when they do that.
Man I hate that! It's like when you're taking a shit and the water splashes up on your ass!

Over-Head
12-23-2004, 01:39 PM
When she races to the can ahead of me, and uses up all the damn paper,,,,,
Why can't she at least holler out, "Hang on Iíll bring ya some"?
Or tell me "wait, I used all the paper."
But Nooooooo
Thatís asking too damn much.
But buddy, just let me forget to leave the toilet seat down,,,,,
Oh thatís another story

Scanfan55
12-23-2004, 01:48 PM
Don't feel bad Tim. I have to go back out sometime tomorrow or Friday morning before all the stores close up for the day and get a couple more presents for the GF. And I don't have a f*cking clue of what to get. She collects the Holiday Barbies so I picked up this years edition. She loves Tigger and collects Tigger shit. So I picked up a couple of fleese-sp sweatshits with Tigger on them. You don't want to buy the GF's domestic(Kitchen Appliances ect.) shit or they get pissed at you. Anybody got any ideas???:hmmm:

How about a gift certificate to her favorite spa? Every woman likes a good massage.

Jenson71
12-23-2004, 01:48 PM
I don't have a wife.

Lzen
12-23-2004, 01:50 PM
I don't have a wife.

Quick everyone, act surprised. :eek:

JazzzLovr
12-23-2004, 01:52 PM
When she races to the can ahead of me, and uses up all the damn paper,,,,,
Why can't she at least holler out, "Hang on Iíll bring ya some"?
Or tell me "wait, I used all the paper."
But Nooooooo
Thatís asking too damn much.
But buddy, just let me forget to leave the toilet seat down,,,,,
Oh thatís another story

Either it's getting contagious, or our Raider friend has been playing an elaborate trick on us.

;)

Iowanian
12-23-2004, 01:52 PM
Alan...........Just give her a self made Coupon book.......where you'l rub her bunyons or whatever.


Scan isn't too far off probably........I got my woman a gift certificate for a foot massage/petticure and stuff that went over well last year.

Over-Head
12-23-2004, 01:58 PM
Either it's getting contagious, or our Raider friend has been playing an elaborate trick on us.

;)

HUHH?..Ya lost me?

Scanfan55
12-23-2004, 02:05 PM
Give me a massage, pedicure, and other such stuff, and I'll be your sex slave.

Lzen
12-23-2004, 02:07 PM
Give me a massage, pedicure, and other such stuff, and I'll be your sex slave.

So you're saying basically that you're a high dollar hooker?

Scanfan55
12-23-2004, 02:09 PM
Touche. Walked into that, did I? Actually, a ScanFan who feels good is a happy ScanFan. And a happy ScanFan is a giving Scanfan.

Iowanian
12-23-2004, 02:19 PM
I'll bet he pushes her in the back too.

Scanfan55
12-23-2004, 02:23 PM
Iowanian,you can count on it; I like it many different ways. o:-)

Nzoner
12-23-2004, 02:25 PM
Just happened today at the office Christmas party,we agreed not to buy for each other this year because we're taking a trip next month.

Did that happen,oh hell no,she got for me and here I am in front of her and the employees with a dumbfounded look and such saying,"but you said...."

Looks like I'm going Christmas shopping tonight :banghead:

Iowanian
12-23-2004, 02:27 PM
congratulations on taking it in the can.

Brando
12-23-2004, 03:03 PM
I found out last night that mine has been sneaking the thermostat up to 75. I just looked at my new gas bill $200. I told her last night that it stays on 69 because we live in an old house and no matter what she puts it on it will only get to 69. I come home today and she's been off. The damn thing is set on 74. I'm going to kick her in the box when she gets home!

journeyscarab
12-23-2004, 04:32 PM
I'm going to kick her in the box when she gets home!
ROFL ROFL ROFL

tburg
12-23-2004, 04:36 PM
wife: "honey can you check to see if the xmas tree needs any water"
me: I just did yesterday and it was fine
wife: "just check again for me"
me: ok hang on, (checking the water) yeah its down 1 knuckle better fill it up

Iowanian
12-23-2004, 04:43 PM
I don't have a wife.

I have no doubt you'll marry someday Little Buddy......

Iowanian
12-23-2004, 04:46 PM
Let me break it down for you...

Rain Man
12-23-2004, 04:47 PM
Give me a massage, pedicure, and other such stuff, and I'll be your sex slave.

I'm lazy but perverted. Could I just pay for the massage and pedicure?


(Uh, someone warn me if you hear my wife coming, okay?)

Brando
12-23-2004, 04:57 PM
(Uh, someone warn me if you hear my wife coming, okay?)

Shit..she ain't even breathing heavy yet. But I'll be sure to let you know when she's cumming :thumb:

cookster50
12-23-2004, 05:14 PM
My biggest is her complete inability to turn off lights. Sometimes every light in the house will be on. Often I literally walk behind her and turn off lights.

Mine does that. I've almost got her broke of it though. When we first got married this would happen daily, now it happens maybe once or twice a month.

DT4everaChief
12-23-2004, 06:29 PM
My wife never turned off the lights after leaving a room in the house. It friggin drove me crazy. I broke her of that fast, it was funny. I was the one who had to change the light bulbs when they burnt out. What I stopped doing was changing the light bulbs when they burnt out. She kept asking me when I was gonna change the bulb my response was when you can learn to turn off the lights after leaving a room. She got tired of being in the dark and changed quick.

Brando
12-23-2004, 06:30 PM
My wife never turned off the lights after leaving a room in the house. It friggin drove me crazy. I broke her of that fast, it was funny. I was the one who had to change the light bulbs when they burnt out. What I stopped doing was changing the light bulbs when they burnt out. She kept asking me when I was gonna change the bulb my response was when you can learn to turn off the lights after leaving a room. She got tired of being in the dark and changed quick.

Thanks for the great idea! Not only does mine like to hike up the thermostat but she also has to leave every fuggin' light in the house on.
You Da MAN!

Count Zarth
12-23-2004, 06:57 PM
After reading all of this I am convinced I will never have a meaningful relationship with a woman. Simply for the fact that I am incapable of putting up with all the bullshit. I would either off the bitch or she would dump me.

Perhaps I shall become a gay man.

Brando
12-23-2004, 06:59 PM
After reading all of this I am convinced I will never have a meaningful relationship with a woman. Simply for the fact that I am incapable of putting up with all the bullshit. I would either off the bitch or she would dump me.

Perhaps I shall become a gay man.

It's amazing how much more shit you can tolerate as you get a few years older. Even with all the bitching I wouldn't give up my fiance for anyone. There's a lot of shit that she does for me. You'll find a good woman...or become a gay man :D

Skip Towne
12-23-2004, 07:17 PM
My wife never turned off the lights after leaving a room in the house. It friggin drove me crazy. I broke her of that fast, it was funny. I was the one who had to change the light bulbs when they burnt out. What I stopped doing was changing the light bulbs when they burnt out. She kept asking me when I was gonna change the bulb my response was when you can learn to turn off the lights after leaving a room. She got tired of being in the dark and changed quick.
She probably knew that turning lights on and off is what causes them to burn out so she left them on. Have you ever had a bulb burn out while it was on?

ENDelt260
12-23-2004, 07:33 PM
I'll never understand how women can go from porn-slut-horny to "not in the mood" in 30 ****ing seconds... :shake:
I'd imagine seeing Rob naked has a LOT to do with that.

Phobia
12-23-2004, 07:38 PM
After reading all of this I am convinced I will never have a meaningful relationship with a woman.

It took reading this to convince you of that? Hell, I've known it for at least 18 months.

stumppy
12-23-2004, 07:47 PM
Perhaps I shall become a gay man.

Don't worry, you'll get through puberty.

4th and Long
12-23-2004, 07:48 PM
Don't worry, you'll get through puberty.
ROFL

Skip Towne
12-23-2004, 08:32 PM
Don't worry, you'll get through puberty.
I'm not so sure in this case. He seems to be having a lot of trouble getting his nuts to drop. We may have to have DC go check that.

Skip Towne
12-23-2004, 08:34 PM
I'd imagine seeing Rob naked has a LOT to do with that.
Shouldn't you be on your way to Mikes?

Count Zarth
12-23-2004, 08:57 PM
I'm not so sure in this case. He seems to be having a lot of trouble getting his nuts to drop. We may have to have DC go check that.

I'm pretty sure my nuts have dropped, thanks. I mean, something would have to be really wrong for them not to have, right?

Skip Towne
12-23-2004, 09:10 PM
I'm pretty sure my nuts have dropped, thanks. I mean, something would have to be really wrong for them not to have, right?
Yeah, that would be right if your inspection confirms they are dropped. However, we might need DC to confirm that. There is also the possibility that you are a hermaphrodite and have one set of each. You would be the second one we have encountered here on the Planet. I'm not really interested except that you are such a vile individual and we should find out why you are allowed to stay among us normal people. Mods!!! Please attend to this!!!

Judge Smails
12-23-2004, 09:28 PM
Nothing my wife has done, but a guy I work with has a few dozies (I hope he doesn't mind).

My co-worker works on a lot of cars, and was using an empty five-gallon bucket left over from restaining his deck for draining transmision fluid into.

His wife tells him one evening that she gave the deck another coat using leftover stain from the five gallon bucket.

"Was it red?" he asked.

"Yes."

I asked him how it looked, "Not really bad, I just don't know what transmission fluid does to wood."

:banghead:

stumppy
12-23-2004, 09:31 PM
I'm not really interested except that you are such a vile individual and we should find out why you are allowed to stay among us normal people. Mods!!! Please attend to this!!!

ROFL

Clean-up on aisle nine.

Skip Towne
12-23-2004, 09:37 PM
ROFL

Clean-up on aisle nine.
Yeah, get him boys.

Frazod
12-24-2004, 01:44 AM
A 200+ post thread. Cool.

Nice to know I'm not the only one who's getting f#cking tortured..... :D

CHIEF4EVER
12-24-2004, 01:53 AM
A 200+ post thread. Cool.

Nice to know I'm not the only one who's getting f#cking tortured..... :D

I can identify with you. You living in Chi-town is torture enough. The bastard that designed the Stevenson so called fuggin Expressway need to be hung from one of his own overpasses by his genitalia. And the guy in charge of ensuring "speedy" completion of the construction on I80/94 (which has been going on since America was discovered) can join him.

:cuss:

Frazod
12-24-2004, 02:25 AM
I can identify with you. You living in Chi-town is torture enough. The bastard that designed the Stevenson so called fuggin Expressway need to be hung from one of his own overpasses by his genitalia. And the guy in charge of ensuring "speedy" completion of the construction on I80/94 (which has been going on since America was discovered) can join him.

:cuss:

If you think the Stevenson is bad, you really should try the Eisenhower. At the spot where it goes down from four lanes to three, there are two exits from the LEFT lane, and traffic backs up for miles at that spot. I drove in to work yesterday because I had Christmas presents. Took me nearly two hours to get home. Makes the Stevenson look like the Brickyard.

I hope whoever designed that piece of shit is roasting on a spit in hell right now. :#

Wichita Lineman
12-24-2004, 04:39 AM
I'm sitting here at 5:30 in the morning because my wife evidently couldn't sleep. She's slammed every door in the palce turned on every light that could possibly shine in the bedroom so now I'm up coffee at hand and she's sleeping on the damn couch. Merry F***ing Christmas

Skip Towne
12-24-2004, 06:44 AM
If it weren't for that furry thing they have there would be a bounty on them.

CHIEF4EVER
12-24-2004, 06:52 AM
If you think the Stevenson is bad, you really should try the Eisenhower. At the spot where it goes down from four lanes to three, there are two exits from the LEFT lane, and traffic backs up for miles at that spot. I drove in to work yesterday because I had Christmas presents. Took me nearly two hours to get home. Makes the Stevenson look like the Brickyard.

I hope whoever designed that piece of shit is roasting on a spit in hell right now. :#

Been there, done that. I avoid downtown like the plague whenever possible and prefer to drive a few extra miles and pay the extra tolls to go around when I pick up or deliver in Chi-town. BTW, who came up with the brilliant idea to put a friggin toll booth every 500 feet on 290, 390 and 88? It's like I finally get my 40 ton behemoth back up to speed and there is a sign that says "Toll plaza 1 mile". To pay a 1.50 toll. I am willing to bet I have to stop at no less than 10 toll booths to get from Gary, IN to Rochelle. And to top it all off, the toll roads are in worse condition than 294 EVER was. I would like to know what they are doing with all that money they collect. AH, well, at least I can avoid driving 0.5 mph for ages by taking the outer roads.

Frazod
12-24-2004, 10:10 AM
Been there, done that. I avoid downtown like the plague whenever possible and prefer to drive a few extra miles and pay the extra tolls to go around when I pick up or deliver in Chi-town. BTW, who came up with the brilliant idea to put a friggin toll booth every 500 feet on 290, 390 and 88? It's like I finally get my 40 ton behemoth back up to speed and there is a sign that says "Toll plaza 1 mile". To pay a 1.50 toll. I am willing to bet I have to stop at no less than 10 toll booths to get from Gary, IN to Rochelle. And to top it all off, the toll roads are in worse condition than 294 EVER was. I would like to know what they are doing with all that money they collect. AH, well, at least I can avoid driving 0.5 mph for ages by taking the outer roads.

Well, stand by, because on January 1st the tolls are going up on all Chicago area tollways for all non-IPass users. You might want to check into it.

CHIEF4EVER
12-24-2004, 11:15 AM
Well, stand by, because on January 1st the tolls are going up on all Chicago area tollways for all non-IPass users. You might want to check into it.

GREEDY BASTARDS!!!!!!!!!!!:cuss::cuss::cuss:

Actually, I shouldn't complain (as long as they actually use the additional funds to repair those screwed up roads). OH, NY, NJ and PA charge one HELLUVA lot more than practically any other states in the US for their toll roads. They charge by weight so I get to pay about 40 dollars to cross Ohio, PA is about 90, Jersey is insane for the length you drive and don't get me started on NY. Bastards charge 50 dollars to cross the George Washington Bridge....into the friggin BRONX. :mad:

Frazod
12-24-2004, 09:24 PM
GREEDY BASTARDS!!!!!!!!!!!:cuss::cuss::cuss:

Actually, I shouldn't complain (as long as they actually use the additional funds to repair those screwed up roads). OH, NY, NJ and PA charge one HELLUVA lot more than practically any other states in the US for their toll roads. They charge by weight so I get to pay about 40 dollars to cross Ohio, PA is about 90, Jersey is insane for the length you drive and don't get me started on NY. Bastards charge 50 dollars to cross the George Washington Bridge....into the friggin BRONX. :mad:

I actually think most for the funds are going to put in more IPass lanes.... :D

As for the other tolls, damn, that's harsh. I never thought about how much more truckers have to pay.

And when it comes to the Bronx, they should let you in for free, and charge you to get out. :eek:

CHIEF4EVER
12-25-2004, 04:04 AM
And when it comes to the Bronx, they should let you in for free, and charge you to get out. :eek:

ROFL

I'd pay double to get out. Visualize a gigantic dumpster with cars double parked on it. Welcome to the Bronx.

KCWolfman
12-25-2004, 09:02 AM
The two worst things I have noticed from every woman I have ever dated and/or married:

1. They will never be on time. Time is a foreign concept to all women.

2. They cannot answer a "yes or no" question with a simple yes or no.

2bikemike
12-25-2004, 09:05 AM
The two worst things I have noticed from every woman I have ever dated and/or married:

1. They will never be on time. Time is a foreign concept to all women.

2. They cannot answer a "yes or no" question with a simple yes or no.


My wife does pretty will with the yes or no. Now the time thing is a different matter. When she sets a time she means ish. You now like 6ish. which means any where from 6:05 to 6:45.

What I have learned to do is adjust my time I say 5:30 but I mean 6:00 and we usually arrive on time.

KCWolfman
12-25-2004, 09:11 AM
My wife does pretty will with the yes or no. Now the time thing is a different matter. When she sets a time she means ish. You now like 6ish. which means any where from 6:05 to 6:45.

What I have learned to do is adjust my time I say 5:30 but I mean 6:00 and we usually arrive on time.
Until they catch on and start adapting their time clock as well.

2bikemike
12-25-2004, 09:13 AM
Until they catch on and start adapting their time clock as well.

We are talking about women!

(God I hope my wife doesn't read this. Or any other woman for that matter)

CHIEF4EVER
12-25-2004, 10:10 AM
2. They cannot answer a "yes or no" question with a simple yes or no.
Not even Mememe? ROFL:fire:

Fried Meat Ball!
12-27-2004, 12:37 PM
My wife does pretty will with the yes or no. Now the time thing is a different matter. When she sets a time she means ish. You now like 6ish. which means any where from 6:05 to 6:45.

What I have learned to do is adjust my time I say 5:30 but I mean 6:00 and we usually arrive on time.
That's the opposite of my wife... time she's good with (growing up with a mother who was incapable of being on time), but she's never uttered the words "yes" or "no" without qualifying them.

Predarat
12-27-2004, 12:47 PM
Telling me where to turn when we are going places we have been 1000 times, screwing with the window temperature when ive got it set up so it wont fog up, as soon as she does the window fogs up and i cant see the road then she gets mad because i cant see the road. She was almost walking!

Coach
12-27-2004, 12:49 PM
Here's my favorite (and by favorite, I mean $#it that makes me want to go Scott Peterson):

Me: Hey honey, where you want to eat?

Her: Oh, I don't care. What do you feel like.

Me: Anything's fine with me.

Her: Whatever you want.

Me: Ok. How about Chinese?

Her: Ok.

*We get there and sit down to order*

Me: What do you feel like?

Her: Oh, whatever. I don't care.

Me: Well I heard (insert whatever dish here) was good.

Her: Ok.

*skip 20 minutes. She eats like 1/8th of her meal and pushes the plate away.*

Me: What's wrong?

Her: I already ate here twice this week, when we went to luch at work. I'm just kind of tired of chinese.

Me: WTF didn't you tell me that before we came here then?!?

Her: I don't know. You wanted to eat here.

Me: But if you're not going to eat the $3it what's the point?!? We could have gone somewhere else.

Her: Yeah.

Me: But if you know you're not going to eat it why....****! :cuss: :banghead:

Don't have a wife, but I have a girlfriend, and this shit happens every now and then. I'm getting to a point where I'm going to have a long talk with her about this, that if I am going to pay for it, you might as well either tell me where the hell you want to eat, or eat the whole damn thing.

ENDelt260
12-27-2004, 12:50 PM
2. They cannot answer a "yes or no" question with a simple yes or no.

Yeah, try convince a prosecutor and/or jury of that.

blueballs
09-16-2007, 06:17 AM
letting the directv guy in with out cleaning the house first

the Talking Can
09-16-2007, 06:44 AM
letting the directv guy in with out cleaning the house first

i doubt he cares what the house looks like when he's banging her...

boogblaster
09-16-2007, 07:11 AM
Does the Directv guy want a new roommate..he can have "ole-growler" ....

boogblaster
09-16-2007, 07:14 AM
He can have "ole_growler" ...

Al Bundy
09-16-2007, 07:22 AM
i doubt he cares what the house looks like when he's banging her...
Pos rep for making me laugh after 5 hours of sleep. On a side note.. I am so glad I left my ex-wife. She drove me up a ****ing wall. She was a total waste of a football fan. Half her family were Donk fans and the other half were Falcon fans. When those 2 played in that superbowl the sides of the family didn't talk to each other for the 2 weeks surrounding it.

Crashride
09-16-2007, 08:13 AM
my GF said she likes football teams that have good defense. Looks like i will be taking back all the chiefs shit

lol this post is classic considering its from 2004. Its like a flashback of how yall felt at the time lol

MTG#10
09-16-2007, 10:03 AM
My wife does pretty much everything that as been mentioned in this thread already. Plus her ass is getting big. :banghead:

Lonewolf Ed
09-16-2007, 10:08 AM
The first week of December, I finished my Christmas shopping. One of the gifts was a Best Buy gift card for the brother-in-law. I put it in a spot in the kitchen where it wouldn't get lost. So, I went to wrap it tonight, and GUESS WHAT - it's gone.

I didn't touch the f#cking thing. But, like every other goddamn thing that dissappears around here, the wife HAS NO IDEA WHERE IT IS AND NEVER TOUCHED IT. Just like every other damn thing that she swears she never saw or touched that I find in some maddeningly stupid-assed place that only she would put it, anywhere from a week to a year later, and always when I'm looking for something else that magically vanished in the same manner. "Wasn't me, honey. Must have been you. And why do you always blame me?"

BECAUSE YOU'RE ALWAYS THE ONE WHO F#CKING LOSES THINGS!

:cuss:

And then, when I cleary bust her on it, she still denies it. Never an apology. Never an "I was wrong." Just I DIDN'T DO IT.

:#

Well, I don't have a week to a year to wait for this to turn up, so I'll have to go back out at the height of last-minute-rush Christmas shopping hell and replace it (I'd make her do it, but she doesn't drive). I'M SO F#CKING PISSED OFF I CAN'T SEE STRAIGHT. More money flying out of my wallet after a month that has already seen me melt my friggin credit cards into goo.

WHY DOES SHE DO THIS? WHY WHY WHY

:banghead: :cuss: :#


My mother suffers from a similar affliction. It's called the Mindless Cleaning Frenzy. Nothing is safe. Nothing!

Adept Havelock
09-16-2007, 10:10 AM
I'm not married. And hopefully I never will be.

I'd say you don't have much to worry about.

While you are at it, do the gene pool a favor and refrain from reproduction as well.

I'd say you don't have much to worry about.

dtebbe
09-16-2007, 10:13 AM
My wife does pretty much everything that as been mentioned in this thread already. Plus her ass is getting big. :banghead:

Hey, as long as she is still giving up the ass, I wouldn't compain....

DT

alanm
09-16-2007, 10:14 AM
OK, Who brought this topic back up and where did you hide the body?

Skip Towne
09-16-2007, 10:49 AM
i doubt he cares what the house looks like when he's banging her...
That's right, I don't.

Ari Chi3fs
09-16-2007, 11:25 AM
This thread should be bumped like once a week.

Buehler445
09-16-2007, 11:41 AM
My GF has complete disregard for punctuality. 5-10 min late ALL THE TIME. She can get up 2 hrs early and be 5 min late. Or she can get up 30 min before and still only 5 min late. I have NO IDEA why she can't move at the same speed on the 2 hrs early days because I know she is capable.

I'm also a clutter-phobe. I don't have to have a spotless house but PICK YOUR SH*T UP. :cuss: She will do dishes or laundry about once every 35 decades only when she has run out of underwear, socks, AND pants, not before. She's already ruined a couple of pans because she let crusted food sit in there too long.

Personality wise, if something is bugging her, she doesn't tell me until she's about ready to chop my balls of with a wooden spoon, whereas if she would have told me earlier I would have happily changed my behavior....I just don't get it. :banghead:

BUUUUUUT I love her and I'm going to marry her. :cuss: her for being good at everything else.

Fat Elvis
09-16-2007, 12:34 PM
My GF has complete disregard for punctuality. 5-10 min late ALL THE TIME. She can get up 2 hrs early and be 5 min late. Or she can get up 30 min before and still only 5 min late. I have NO IDEA why she can't move at the same speed on the 2 hrs early days because I know she is capable.

I'm also a clutter-phobe. I don't have to have a spotless house but PICK YOUR SH*T UP. :cuss: She will do dishes or laundry about once every 35 decades only when she has run out of underwear, socks, AND pants, not before. She's already ruined a couple of pans because she let crusted food sit in there too long.

Personality wise, if something is bugging her, she doesn't tell me until she's about ready to chop my balls of with a wooden spoon, whereas if she would have told me earlier I would have happily changed my behavior....I just don't get it. :banghead:

BUUUUUUT I love her and I'm going to marry her. :cuss: her for being good at everything else.

I hate to break it to you, but she sounds like a dude....

Jilly
09-16-2007, 01:24 PM
The two worst things I have noticed from every woman I have ever dated and/or married:

1. They will never be on time. Time is a foreign concept to all women.

2. They cannot answer a "yes or no" question with a simple yes or no.

I do these two things and it drives Sully crazy.

The time thing...I don't know why the hell I'm late...I really don't.

The yes or no thing, I just want to make sure everyone's happy so it's hard for me to make a decision.

Delano
09-16-2007, 06:41 PM
She whines and complains until she gets to watch her DUMB ****ING shit on our one and only TV. MY TV! She is watching the cocksucking EMMY's while the game is on.

I guess I should be happy, she flips it over to the game during the commercial breaks.

ChiefaRoo
09-16-2007, 08:39 PM
The first week of December, I finished my Christmas shopping. One of the gifts was a Best Buy gift card for the brother-in-law. I put it in a spot in the kitchen where it wouldn't get lost. So, I went to wrap it tonight, and GUESS WHAT - it's gone.

I didn't touch the f#cking thing. But, like every other goddamn thing that dissappears around here, the wife HAS NO IDEA WHERE IT IS AND NEVER TOUCHED IT. Just like every other damn thing that she swears she never saw or touched that I find in some maddeningly stupid-assed place that only she would put it, anywhere from a week to a year later, and always when I'm looking for something else that magically vanished in the same manner. "Wasn't me, honey. Must have been you. And why do you always blame me?"

BECAUSE YOU'RE ALWAYS THE ONE WHO F#CKING LOSES THINGS!

:cuss:

And then, when I cleary bust her on it, she still denies it. Never an apology. Never an "I was wrong." Just I DIDN'T DO IT.

:#

Well, I don't have a week to a year to wait for this to turn up, so I'll have to go back out at the height of last-minute-rush Christmas shopping hell and replace it (I'd make her do it, but she doesn't drive). I'M SO F#CKING PISSED OFF I CAN'T SEE STRAIGHT. More money flying out of my wallet after a month that has already seen me melt my friggin credit cards into goo.

WHY DOES SHE DO THIS? WHY WHY WHY

:banghead: :cuss: :#


Zod, relax, breathe in and then breathe out. Maybe light a scented candle and take a long hot bath. I'm just worried your head is going to blow off and get blood everywhere.

Bob Dole
09-16-2007, 08:45 PM
Somehow has Bob Dole's name showing up with her's on shit over a decade after Bob Dole divorced her.

jidar
09-16-2007, 08:51 PM
She whines and complains until she gets to watch her DUMB ****ING shit on our one and only TV. MY TV! She is watching the cocksucking EMMY's while the game is on.

I guess I should be happy, she flips it over to the game during the commercial breaks.


1: buy another tv
2: stop being a ****ing pussy, your wife doesn't get to watch any god damned thing if it means you can't watch the game.

Simply Red
01-07-2012, 08:20 PM
I found out last night that mine has been sneaking the thermostat up to 75. I just looked at my new gas bill $200. I told her last night that it stays on 69 because we live in an old house and no matter what she puts it on it will only get to 69. I come home today and she's been off. The damn thing is set on 74. I'm going to kick her in the box when she gets home!


<iframe width="420" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/B2MmVrmlpRM" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

Frazod
01-07-2012, 08:23 PM
Never did find that goddamn gift card. :grr:

Simply Red
01-07-2012, 08:26 PM
whatever happened to brando? is he someone new now?

L.A. Chieffan
01-07-2012, 08:26 PM
What an asshole this guy is. I'm surprised his wife doesn't divorce his ass.