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View Full Version : The 40 virgins in heaven thing


blsilks
12-29-2004, 01:39 PM
Can somebody explain to me why these terrorists think that when they die, they will go to heaven and have 40 virgins waiting for them?

First of all, I didnt even know that they had sex in heaven and that it was neccessary to reproduce in heaven.

Second of all, what if the 40 women think your ugly and you are all trying to get busy with them. Being in a place with 40 women who don't like you can probably turn in to hell very quick.

Finally, if your are horney enough, 40 virgins wouldn't last one night. We are talking about eternity here. What do you do when you run out of virgins?

Perhaps the terrorists should rethink this whole 40 virgins thing.

badgirl
12-29-2004, 01:40 PM
Can somebody explain to me why these terrorists think that when they die, they will go to heaven and have 40 virgins waiting for them?

First of all, I didnt even know that they had sex in heaven and that it was neccessary to reproduce in heaven.

Second of all, what if the 40 women think your ugly and you are all trying to get busy with them. Being in a place with 40 women who don't like you can probably turn in to hell very quick.

Finally, if your are horney enough, 40 virgins wouldn't last one night. We are talking about eternity here. What do you do when you run out of virgins?

Perhaps the terrorists should rethink this whole 40 virgins thing.
I think its like 73 virgins or something. I don't know why :hmmm:

Cochise
12-29-2004, 01:42 PM
Here's the first result from google:

http://www.guardian.co.uk/religion/Story/0,2763,631357,00.html

Google rocks, check it out :thumb:

http://www.google.com/

Saulbadguy
12-29-2004, 01:44 PM
I don't realize why 40 virgins would be a such a good thing. Don't the terrorists realize that if they are virgins, their is likely a very good reason they ARE virgins?

Ah..who am I kidding. Fat ugly chicks need some lovin too.

blsilks
12-29-2004, 01:46 PM
True. They never said 40, 70, or 72 hot virgins did they.

morphius
12-29-2004, 01:48 PM
Damn, I read something once, god only knows what happened to that link, but it was a story about a group in the middle east during the time of the crusades and before that would bring members into their group and as part of the ceremony would basic slip you a drug and send you out into a beutiful garden with a few women to trick them into believing that they were actually in heaven. Having a taste of heaven made them a rather dedicated and brutal killing group with no fear. Which I think is where the origin for the .. virgins came from.

Now I read that on the internet so you know it has to be true.

Calcountry
12-29-2004, 01:48 PM
Can somebody explain to me why these terrorists think that when they die, they will go to heaven and have 40 virgins waiting for them?

First of all, I didnt even know that they had sex in heaven and that it was neccessary to reproduce in heaven.

Second of all, what if the 40 women think your ugly and you are all trying to get busy with them. Being in a place with 40 women who don't like you can probably turn in to hell very quick.

Finally, if your are horney enough, 40 virgins wouldn't last one night. We are talking about eternity here. What do you do when you run out of virgins?

Perhaps the terrorists should rethink this whole 40 virgins thing.
This is not my idea, but it is a good one.

We need to take a C 130 and load it with those mini bottles of Jack Daniels & or Tequila, with a pic of a clad babe rolled and rubberband beside each one, and drop millions of these things across the middle east. They need to lighten up a little.

Predarat
12-29-2004, 01:50 PM
I doubt so many virgins still exist. I think in the modern day and age those terrorists are just SOL.

blsilks
12-29-2004, 01:51 PM
What if the virgins are all transexuals also. You could find yourself trapped in a room in heaven with 40 ugly transexual virgins who hate you. That wouldnt be cool.

Phobia
12-29-2004, 01:54 PM
I never heard anything about them being female virgins. Just imagine if you were stuck with 40 hairy versions of gochiefs and slayer diablo....

Dr. Facebook Fever
12-29-2004, 01:56 PM
Can somebody explain to me why these terrorists think that when they die, they will go to heaven and have 40 virgins waiting for them?


Because it's part of their religions belief system maybe????

Over-Head
12-29-2004, 01:56 PM
Think about it this way...You have some dude telling you ..."Go strap 10 lbs of C4 to your chest, and waltz on into a building, take out as many innocent victims as you can"
Just to prove a point that no one3 will ever really figure out anyway.
.
Now he finishes up with 1 of 2 scenarios
1) ..."in doing so you'll get to see Allah in the next life who will give to you 40 virgins to do with as you please for the rest of eternity"

OR

2) ..."you'll make people think you were in fact just another retard, who's gonna end up nothing more then 5 lbs of goo to constitute a body, and get your grade 10 highschool pic plastered on the front page of "The Bagdad Times".

Now which line do ya spose you’d be able to convince Mohammed to blow himself to kingdom come with? :hmmm:

blsilks
12-29-2004, 01:57 PM
I bet what happens is that your in a John Elway jersey that you can't take off and your surounded by 70 thousand chief fans.

el borracho
12-29-2004, 01:57 PM
Can somebody explain to me why these terrorists think that when they die, they will go to heaven and have 40 virgins waiting for them?
Because they are poorly educated and misguided.

|Zach|
12-29-2004, 02:01 PM
Can somebody explain to me why people think that when they die, they will go to heaven?


Can you explain this question to me?

Mr. Laz
12-29-2004, 02:02 PM
Can somebody explain to me why these terrorists think that when they die, they will go to heaven and have 40 virgins waiting for them?

First of all, I didnt even know that they had sex in heaven and that it was neccessary to reproduce in heaven.

Second of all, what if the 40 women think your ugly and you are all trying to get busy with them. Being in a place with 40 women who don't like you can probably turn in to hell very quick.

Finally, if your are horney enough, 40 virgins wouldn't last one night. We are talking about eternity here. What do you do when you run out of virgins?

Perhaps the terrorists should rethink this whole 40 virgins thing.
because when people start "interpreting" religion, it's flawed, because humans themselves are flawed.



73 virgins in heaven

GOD is on "our side" (take your pick, all the leaders say it, Bush,Saydam etc)

homosexuality is evil

the fighting Irish are "GOD's team"



:shrug:





it's all bullchit religion crap

blsilks
12-29-2004, 02:08 PM
I think they got a porno about 72 guys and a female virgin.

Rain Man
12-29-2004, 02:11 PM
If it was me, I would prefer that they not be virgins. At least one person in the room should know what they're doing.

|Zach|
12-29-2004, 03:53 PM
If it was me, I would prefer that they not be virgins. At least one person in the room should know what they're doing.
Sounds like you more so want a sexual technical advisor to be in the room.

Donger
12-29-2004, 03:56 PM
After about a dozen or so virgins, you'd want to call in a pro.

Cochise
12-29-2004, 03:56 PM
If justice is served they won't be virgins and Jose Lima will have been with all 40 of them.

morphius
12-29-2004, 03:57 PM
If it was me, I would prefer that they not be virgins. At least one person in the room should know what they're doing.
Ahh, but if they are all virgins they will not know that you are doing it wrong and wouldn't know to complain.

jcroft
12-29-2004, 03:57 PM
Terrorists have an exclusive set of beliefs? I didn't even know they were organized into one group. I thought there were American terrorists, Middle-eastern terrorists, African terrorists, and many others. I thought there were Christian terrorists, Islamic terrorists, Muslim terrorists, etc.

Now all terrorists have the same beliefs? Crafty, those terrorists!

|Zach|
12-29-2004, 03:59 PM
Terrorists have an exclusive set of beliefs? I didn't even know they were organized into one group. I thought there were American terrorists, Middle-eastern terrorists, African terrorists, and many others. I thought there were Christian terrorists, Islamic terrorists, Muslim terrorists, etc.

Now all terrorists have the same beliefs? Crafty, those terrorists!
This post is very well thought out.

I have no idea why it is on CP.

jcroft
12-29-2004, 04:03 PM
This post is very well thought out.

I have no idea why it is on CP.

Haha. :D

I know this thread was meant as humor (and it <em>is</em> funny, too), but it just bothers me when people use the word "terrorist" to mean "muslim" or something similar. It makes me wonder if everyone's forgotten the Unabomber and Oklahoma City.

R&GHomer
12-29-2004, 04:06 PM
One or two virgins to begin with would be nice. I for one would get sick and tired of hearing all the damn whining… It’s tooo big, That hurts, I have feelings, Slow down.. blah, blah, blah. I just want to get in there and knock it out. Then I can roll over, smoke a cigarette, finish off my last can of beer and go to sleep.

|Zach|
12-29-2004, 04:08 PM
Haha. :D

I know this thread was meant as humor (and it <em>is</em> funny, too), but it just bothers me when people use the word "terrorist" to mean "muslim" or something similar. It makes me wonder if everyone's forgotten the Unabomber and Oklahoma City.
Couldn't agree with you more...

Predarat
12-29-2004, 04:09 PM
I wonder what would happen if Tubgirl were one of the virgins?

|Zach|
12-29-2004, 04:11 PM
I wonder what would happen if Tubgirl were one of the virgins?
who?

R&GHomer
12-29-2004, 04:11 PM
I wonder what would happen if Tubgirl were one of the virgins?

Well, I guess it would be to late to kill yourself.

R&GHomer
12-29-2004, 04:12 PM
who?

Dont ask, and don't click on the link. You will be scared for life. STFU

jcroft
12-29-2004, 04:13 PM
who?

Oh man. With that setup, you deserve what you're gonna get.

Predarat
12-29-2004, 04:14 PM
Wow being stuck with Tubgirl for eternity! and if the other 39 lost their interest. Wow! That would serve them right!

Iowanian
12-29-2004, 04:26 PM
I don't recall who it was that said it, but one of the funniest and most on the mark statements I've read on the planet was in regards to this topic....

It went something like
"I don't understand why anyone would believe that a woman who saved herself and lived an entire life of chastity on earth, keeping herself pure....would want to jump on anything remotely phallic in Paradise."

Particularly a smelly Terrorist who just killed a bunch of people who didn't do anything to them.


maybe if more of those cowardly DBags would/could actually get laid in real life, they wouldn't have so much pent up aggression.

It sounds to me like Peace in the Middle East could be achieved by " Iowanian's PIECE in the Middle East" program.

All Arrested Prostitutes sent over there to work for shillings for the length of their sentence, and then asked to just stay.


True Justice would be if upon their arrival in Paradise.........they found that THEY were the virgins in the Paradise Lumberjack BullQueer Camp barrel.

Calcountry
12-29-2004, 04:52 PM
Think about it this way...You have some dude telling you ..."Go strap 10 lbs of C4 to your chest, and waltz on into a building, take out as many innocent victims as you can"
Just to prove a point that no one3 will ever really figure out anyway.
.
Now he finishes up with 1 of 2 scenarios
1) ..."in doing so you'll get to see Allah in the next life who will give to you 40 virgins to do with as you please for the rest of eternity"

OR

2) ..."you'll make people think you were in fact just another retard, who's gonna end up nothing more then 5 lbs of goo to constitute a body, and get your grade 10 highschool pic plastered on the front page of "The Bagdad Times".

Now which line do ya spose you’d be able to convince Mohammed to blow himself to kingdom come with? :hmmm:
Do you know what the scariest, heck, make that deadliest thing is? The dumbasses believe it.

Frankie
12-29-2004, 04:58 PM
Can somebody explain to me why these terrorists think that when they die, they will go to heaven and have 40 virgins waiting for them?

First of all, I didnt even know that they had sex in heaven and that it was neccessary to reproduce in heaven.

Second of all, what if the 40 women think your ugly and you are all trying to get busy with them. Being in a place with 40 women who don't like you can probably turn in to hell very quick.

Finally, if your are horney enough, 40 virgins wouldn't last one night. We are talking about eternity here. What do you do when you run out of virgins?

Perhaps the terrorists should rethink this whole 40 virgins thing.
ROFL :hmmm:

Frankie
12-29-2004, 05:00 PM
I never heard anything about them being female virgins. Just imagine if you were stuck with 40 hairy versions of gochiefs and slayer diablo....

ROFL ROFL rep

StcChief
12-29-2004, 05:28 PM
Do you know what the scariest, heck, make that deadliest thing is? The dumbasses believe it.

It goes back to the Shieks and Harem thing....

The don't all look like 'Genie' (Barbara Eden) either.

Isn't it 72 virgins.????

These terrorists couldn't handle 72 virgin or non-virgins.

What crock of $hit.

blsilks
12-30-2004, 07:23 AM
Sounds like you more so want a sexual technical advisor to be in the room.


A sexual offensive and defensive coordinator

cookster50
12-30-2004, 08:36 AM
Can you explain this question to me?

Because they are poorly educated and misguided.

|Zach|
12-30-2004, 12:32 PM
Because they are poorly educated and misguided.
Who is.

KC Kings
12-30-2004, 12:41 PM
maybe if more of those cowardly DBags would/could actually get laid in real life, they wouldn't have so much pent up aggression.

It sounds to me like Peace in the Middle East could be achieved by " Iowanian's PIECE in the Middle East" program.

All Arrested Prostitutes sent over there to work for shillings for the length of their sentence, and then asked to just stay.


They have a system like that in Turkey. You don't sit around in prison wasting time and letting the system support you, you support the system by letting the system pimp you out. They only pimp out the women, but in some case if a man does a crime, his wife can be put in prison to work off the time.

I have been to Turkey several times, do not care to ever go back, and while I never visited the "compound" I know many people who did, and can confirm that these allegations are true.

badgirl
12-30-2004, 01:51 PM
They have a system like that in Turkey. You don't sit around in prison wasting time and letting the system support you, you support the system by letting the system pimp you out. They only pimp out the women, but in some case if a man does a crime, his wife can be put in prison to work off the time.

I have been to Turkey several times, do not care to ever go back, and while I never visited the "compound" I know many people who did, and can confirm that these allegations are true.
Do the women get paid for their services? :hmmm:

Frankie
12-30-2004, 01:56 PM
Do the women get paid for their services? :hmmm:
Why do you ask? ;)

CosmicPal
12-30-2004, 01:57 PM
What a bloody mess that would be.

badgirl
12-30-2004, 01:58 PM
Why do you ask? ;)
well if they are in prison, do they at least get part of the money or does the prison system keep it all? :hmmm:

Calcountry
12-30-2004, 02:05 PM
Why do you ask? ;)
I think she is looking for a new line of work Frankie ;)

go bowe
12-30-2004, 02:15 PM
I don't recall who it was that said it, but one of the funniest and most on the mark statements I've read on the planet was in regards to this topic....

It went something like
"I don't understand why anyone would believe that a woman who saved herself and lived an entire life of chastity on earth, keeping herself pure....would want to jump on anything remotely phallic in Paradise."

Particularly a smelly Terrorist who just killed a bunch of people who didn't do anything to them.


maybe if more of those cowardly DBags would/could actually get laid in real life, they wouldn't have so much pent up aggression.

It sounds to me like Peace in the Middle East could be achieved by " Iowanian's PIECE in the Middle East" program.

All Arrested Prostitutes sent over there to work for shillings for the length of their sentence, and then asked to just stay.


True Justice would be if upon their arrival in Paradise.........they found that THEY were the virgins in the Paradise Lumberjack BullQueer Camp barrel.:wayne: :wayne: :wayne:

i bow to the wisdom of the great iowanian...

go bowe
12-30-2004, 02:18 PM
I think she is looking for a new line of work Frankie ;)ROFL ROFL ROFL

i'm sure glad you don't live close to her... ROFL ROFL ROFL

badgirl
12-30-2004, 02:20 PM
I think she is looking for a new line of work Frankie ;)
NOOOOOOOO :cuss: no way. I was just wondering, I still dont have an anwser. :hmmm:

Calcountry
12-30-2004, 02:39 PM
ROFL ROFL ROFL

i'm sure glad you don't live close to her... ROFL ROFL ROFL
I can run, but I can't hide. :p

HolyHandgernade
12-30-2004, 03:00 PM
Numbers have an astrotheological importance and can be found in many different religions. For example, the number 40 represents an incubation period taken from the amount of days it takes for the Egyptian winter wheat to first sprout above the ground after planting, so

Noah in Ark 40 days/nights
Jews in bondage 40 years
Both David and Solomon ruled for 40 years
Jesus went into the wilderness for 40 days
etc.

The number 72 (or alternately 70) is a precessional number representing the number of years it takes for the axis to move one degree:

Students of the science of archaeoastronomy will recognize significance in this number 72, one of the most important numbers in the so-called "precessional code" (re)discovered by scholars Santillana and von Dechend. The astronomical phenomenon of precession concerns the very slow wobble of the axis of the earth and its effect for earth-bound observers of a gradual and cyclical slippage of the belt of the zodiac against the rising point of the sun. This precessional slippage operates at the rate of one degree every 72 years and means that each constellation houses the sun for an average of 2160 years. All twelve constellations take 25,920 years to pass completely through the cycle. These numbers of 72, 2160, 25,920 and various permutations of them have been shown by Santillana and von Dechend, in their book Hamlet’s Mill, to be mysteriously present in ancient myths and sacred architecture all around the world. While little archaeoastronomical study of Jagatmandir temple has so far been conducted, the presence of the number 72 in so important a part of the temple’s architecture suggests that future studies will result in many fascinating revelations.

The Septuagint was said to be transcribed by 72 scribes.

-HH

Frankie
12-31-2004, 09:20 AM
ROFL ROFL ROFL

i'm sure glad you don't live close to her... ROFL ROFL ROFL

Hey, it was MY inuendo that set trdr with that line. How'bout some love this way?

(OK, 'acknowledgement' would suffice. Forget I said "Love.")

;)

Predarat
12-31-2004, 09:33 AM
I dont think it matters whether its 40 or 72 or whatever. Those Arab terrorists wouldnt know what to do with them anyways. They have no game here on earth so they wouldnt have any in the after life either. They would put them all in a room and blow it up and that would be the end of their virgins. Alla did say they could do whatever they wanted to do with them.

Mr. Laz
12-31-2004, 10:54 AM
They have a system like that in Turkey. You don't sit around in prison wasting time and letting the system support you, you support the system by letting the system pimp you out. They only pimp out the women, but in some case if a man does a crime, his wife can be put in prison to work off the time.

I have been to Turkey several times, do not care to ever go back, and while I never visited the "compound" I know many people who did, and can confirm that these allegations are true.


Tell GW we should Invade!!!!!!

Uncle_Ted
12-31-2004, 12:21 PM
...
The number 72 (or alternately 70) is a precessional number representing the number of years it takes for the axis to move one degree:
...
-HH

Don't forget the "rule of 72" ... 72 divided by interest rate = number of years it takes for the interest to double your principal.

Trying to come up with some witty comment about Jews, moneylenders, Muslims, virgins, etc. ... it's just not happening ... too hungover.

Ebolapox
12-31-2004, 01:05 PM
Damn, I read something once, god only knows what happened to that link, but it was a story about a group in the middle east during the time of the crusades and before that would bring members into their group and as part of the ceremony would basic slip you a drug and send you out into a beutiful garden with a few women to trick them into believing that they were actually in heaven. Having a taste of heaven made them a rather dedicated and brutal killing group with no fear. Which I think is where the origin for the .. virgins came from.

Now I read that on the internet so you know it has to be true.

possibly the hassassin order of muslims??

wait, I'm going off of what I've read about in a few books, not actual fact--though that IS where the word assassin comes from, those who smoked hashish to ordain the religious zeal to kill others

-EB-

alanm
12-31-2004, 01:40 PM
It goes back to the Shieks and Harem thing....

The don't all look like 'Genie' (Barbara Eden) either.

Isn't it 72 virgins.????

These terrorists couldn't handle 72 virgin or non-virgins.

What crock of $hit.Yeah, it was 72 virgins. Dennis Miller had a funny take on it. He said " 72 Virgins....I'm thinking after the first 7 or 8 virgins you're gonna want a Pro." "And wouldn't it be justice if they got it wrong. Instead of 72 virgins waiting for you it was a 72 yr old virgin" ROFLROFL

Calcountry
12-31-2004, 01:44 PM
Hey, it was MY inuendo that set trdr with that line. How'bout some love this way?

(OK, 'acknowledgement' would suffice. Forget I said "Love.")

;)
Can you believe that, a Democrat and a Republican working together to find common ground. :thumb: ;)

go bowe
12-31-2004, 01:44 PM
Yeah, it was 72 virgins. Dennis Miller had a funny take on it. He said " 72 Virgins....I'm thinking after the first 7 or 8 virgins you're gonna want a Pro." "And wouldn't it be justice if they got it wrong. Instead of 72 virgins waiting for you it was a 72 yr old virgin" ROFLROFLha! it would serve them right... :LOL: :LOL: :LOL:

blsilks
12-31-2004, 02:06 PM
it could also be 72 Virgils