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View Full Version : 2004 Headlines: News of the Weird and Wacky


gblowfish
01-04-2005, 10:37 AM
My apologies if this was previously posted. Reuters lists its favorite weird and wacky news headlines from around the globe in 2004. Gee...I feel like Marv Albert..except for the cross dressing and biting part...

Sex, dogs and chickens - weird headlines of 2004
Sun Jan 2, 1:08 AM ET

By Paul Majendie

LONDON (Reuters) - Humming sex toy shuts Australian airport.
Taiwanese man tries to convert lions to Jesus, gets bitten.

Talking toilet orders German men to sit down. Chinese get busy
signal on Beijing suicide line.

Judging by the bizarre headlines that greeted readers around the
world, 2004 was a bumper year for the weird and wacky.

Canadian guide dog barred for only answering its master's commands
in French. Japanese boy writes apology in blood for dozing in class.

The list is endless, living proof that truth is all too often
stranger than fiction.

A vibrating sex toy chucked into a rubbish bin at an Australian
airport sparked a security alert that only ended when an embarrassed
passenger came forward to claim what was identified as "an adult
novelty device".

A fervent evangelist who leapt into the lions' den at Taipei zoo and
shouted "Jesus will save you" was lucky to escape with just a bite
in the right leg when he tried to convert the king of beasts to
Christianity.

Feeling suicidal in Beijing? Then be patient.

Nine out of 10 Chinese calling into a suicide-prevention hotline
were greeted by an engaged signal.

When it comes to quirky ideas, man's ingenuity knows no bounds.

A German inventor came up with a best-selling gadget that berates
men if they try to use the toilet standing up, telling them: "Put
the seat back down right away, you are definitely not to pee
standing up."

The Germans have been accused of being a deadly serious people with
a severe sense of humour failure.

But several surreal tales that would not look out of place in a
Monty Python sketch prove they can laugh at themselves.

German police arrested a flasher who stumbled over his dropped
trousers during an aborted attempt to flee.

A cost-cutting German theatre was berated for using just four
dwarves instead of seven in their Snow White show.

A survey revealed that most German men wear the wrong size condoms.
Germans said they find smelly co-workers to be the most annoying
aspect of their jobs.

Britain had its share of oddities too.

UK nursing home staff were so proud of a 105-year-old woman who had
smoked since the age of 15 that they cremated her with a packet of
her favourite cigarettes in the coffin.

A British train conductor stamped and carefully returned the ticket
of a slumbering passenger without realising the man was dead.

A South African radio reporter went a little more live than he
anticipated when he was mugged on air for his mobile phone while
transmitting from a local squatter settlement.

Romance certainly had its rough patches in 2004.

A Norwegian court acquitted a man accused of raping a sleeping woman
after he said he was also asleep at the time.

All three wives of a 67-year-old Iranian man took overdoses in an
unsuccessful triple suicide bid after the youngest wife sparked
jealousy by buying an expensive pair of boots.

A Malaysian man shot his wife dead after he mistook her for a monkey
picking fruit behind their house.

A Spaniard tried to have his wife charged with domestic abuse
because she refused to have sex with him on five consecutive nights.

Two Italians with the nicknames Bull Shark and Nurse Shark donned
bubble-helmet immersion suits to get married in a shark tank.

But from Latin America to Africa, tainted love turned twice to
tragedy.

A Mexican man killed his lover in a drunken, drugged fight and then
cooked the man's body in tomato and onion sauce and ate it over
three days.

And a Zambian man hanged himself in shame after his wife rushed into
their house to investigate a noise and found him having sex with a
chicken. The chicken was slaughtered afterwards.