Who's up for another CP Film Noir Script

[Thig Lyfe]

There's one in the classic forum, so most people already know what I'm talking about.

Non-Chiefs time can be tedious around here, so why don't we spice it up with a little CP Film Noir?

For those of you who don't know the rules, anybody can contribute. Each post builds onto the last. The style is one of those black-and-white P.I. movies.

First line on the next post.

[Thig Lyfe]

My name's Karl Peterman. I'm a private eye.

It was a dark and stormy night. I had just finished watching my Chiefs lose to a bunch of scrubs and was not in the brightest of moods. I got out a cigarette and a lighter when suddenly there was a light, feminine rasp on my office door. When I opened it, what I saw did not make me feel any better.

[Phobia]

"Hello chiefs4me", I said, "why don't I find you some clothes and a razor to shave that mustache"?

[ExtremeChief]

"Well,,,I never,,I,,,GOD,,!!" she stuttered.

"What the hell is wrong with you??" I askedthe masculine chick.

[Thig Lyfe]

"Well,,,I never,,I,,,GOD,,!!" she stuttered.

"What the hell is wrong with you??" I askedthe masculine chick.

"I can't find my period key,,," she stammered.

"Well sorry, uh, er... Miss? I ain't a lost and found" I fired back.

"Maybe this will change your mind,,," she whispered as she pulled something from her purse...

[Rain Man]

It was a patent. A patent for the comma. I read it in awe. In 1856, her great-great grandfather had patented the punctuation symbol, and now she received three cents every time it was used in the U.S., Britain, or any commonwealth country.

[Thig Lyfe]

It was a patent. A patent for the comma. I read it in awe. In 1856, her great-great grandfather had patented the punctuation symbol, and now she received three cents every time it was used in the U.S., Britain, or any commonwealth country.

"Holy crap!" I exclaimed

"I will sell you the rights to the comma if you find my period key. I'm sick of being insulted by the almighty and all-knowing members of ChiefsPlanet.com (TM),,"

The deal was intriguing. But I'm a shrewd negociator and wanted more.

"I'll need something else, too..." I said with an air of mystery.

"I'll give you anything,,, anything!" (s)he replied with a exhausted gasp.

[Rain Man]

I had her right where I wanted her. "It involves your colon."

[Thig Lyfe]

I had her right where I wanted her. "It involves your colon."

She pondered the offer.

"I can,t do that,, Would a semi colon work?" she squeaked hopefully.

I couldn't help but scoff.

"Now that's what I call a half-assed deal, my friend."

[Phobia]

The End.

[Ultra Peanut]

And then they all died in a fiery plane crash/avalanche/flood.

[Thig Lyfe]

The sequel is never as good as the original.

[gblowfish]

I had her right where I wanted her. "It involves your colon."Story over all ready? I thought it would be a "shocker."

[Thig Lyfe]

The End.

Now I have to know.

Did you say this because it was a perfect ending? Or because this thread sucked?

[Ari Chi3fs]

wow the story ended without Goatcheese getting shot with a .44 Magnum? Weak story.

[Phobia]

Now I have to know.

Did you say this because it was a perfect ending? Or because this thread sucked?

I wanted to make up a cool answer that would make you feel good about yourself, but the truth is that I posted "The End" because it was the perfect ending.....

but I hadn't seen your post, the perfect ending belonged to Rain Man.

[chiefs4me]

Oh My Gosh,,how sweet of you all to write a tale for me. I LOVED IT,,;)