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NewChief
01-17-2005, 11:18 AM
A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?"
She calls on little Johnny. "None, they all fly away with the first gunshot."
The teacher replies, "The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking."
Then Little Johnny says, "I have a question for YOU. There are three women sitting on a bench having ice cream. One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice cream. Which one is married?"
The teacher, blushing a great deal, replies, "Well I suppose the one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone."
"The correct answer is the one with the wedding ring on... but I like your thinking."

LiL stumppy
01-17-2005, 11:47 AM
Mah

ChiefsCountry
01-17-2005, 11:49 AM
How about this:

What is the difference between a dog and a fox?

4 beers.

ENDelt260
01-17-2005, 11:50 AM
How about this:

What is the difference between a dog and a fox?

4 beers.
Like, when you've already got 10-12 in ya?

CHIEF4EVER
01-17-2005, 11:58 AM
A contractor was in a young womans' house to get remodeling instructions. In the Living Room, the young woman said "I want this room to be Baby Blue". The contractor wrote this down, went to the window, opened it and screamed "GREEN SIDE UP!". He then followed the young woman into the Master Bedroom. She proceeded to tell him that she wanted the bedroom to be done entirely in Pink. He wrote this down, went to the bedroom window, opened it and screamed "GREEN SIDE UP!". He then followed her into the Master Bath. She indicated that she wanted it to be all in Lavender. He wrote this down, went back to the bedroom window, opened it and screamed "GREEN SIDE UP!". She finally asked him "Why is it every time I tell you what color I want a room to be done in you go to the window and scream GREEN SIDE UP?". He replied "I have a crew of blondes laying sod across the street.".

go bowe
01-17-2005, 12:21 PM
How about this:

What is the difference between a dog and a fox?

4 beers.ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL

what, do foxes drink more? :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes:

go bowe
01-17-2005, 12:24 PM
A contractor was in a young womans' house to get remodeling instructions. In the Living Room, the young woman said "I want this room to be Baby Blue". The contractor wrote this down, went to the window, opened it and screamed "GREEN SIDE UP!". He then followed the young woman into the Master Bedroom. She proceeded to tell him that she wanted the bedroom to be done entirely in Pink. He wrote this down, went to the bedroom window, opened it and screamed "GREEN SIDE UP!". He then followed her into the Master Bath. She indicated that she wanted it to be all in Lavender. He wrote this down, went back to the bedroom window, opened it and screamed "GREEN SIDE UP!". She finally asked him "Why is it every time I tell you what color I want a room to be done in you go to the window and scream GREEN SIDE UP?". He replied "I have a crew of blondes laying sod across the street.".:clap: :clap: :clap:

great blonde joke, concealed til the end...

good one... :toast:

Radar Chief
01-17-2005, 01:09 PM
This elderly gentleman was sitting on his porch swing one day, as he usually does all day, and noticed a guy walking down the street with something in his hand. Being the curious type the elderly gentleman asks, “Say kid, what’cha got there?” The guy replied, “It’s a roll of duct tape.” “What’cha gonna do with that?” the elderly gentleman asked. “Gonna catch me some ducks” the guy replied. “You can’t catch ducks with duct tape” the elderly gentleman guffawed nearly falling over with laughter. The guy just shrugged his shoulders and continued down the street.
Later that evening the elderly gentleman noticed the same guy walking back up the street with three or four ducks tangled up in the duct tape.
A week later while the elderly gentleman was sitting on his porch swing he noticed the same guy walking up the street with something rolled up under his arm, so he asks, “Say kid, what’cha got there?” The guy replied, “It’s a roll of chicken wire.” “What’cha gonna do with that?” the elderly gentleman asked. “Gonna catch me some prairie chickens” the guy replied. “You can’t catch prairie chickens with chicken wire” the elderly gentleman guffawed nearly falling over with laughter. The guy just shrugged his shoulders and continued down the street.
Later that evening the elderly gentleman noticed the same guy walking back up the street with three or four prairie chickens tangled up in the chicken wire.
A week later while the elderly gentleman was sitting on his porch swing he noticed the same guy walking up the street with stick in his hand that had something fuzzy on the end of it. Being the curious type the elderly gentleman asks, “Say kid, what’cha got there?” The guy replied, “It’s a pussy willow.” With that the elderly gentleman sprang up out of his porch swing and yelled, “Hang on, I’ll get my hat.”

yunghungwell
01-17-2005, 02:24 PM
A repost of a good one...



A mechanical engineer, an electrical engineer, and a civil engineer are discussing what kind of an engineer God must be with regards to how the human body is put together.

The mechanical engineer argues that God must be a mechanical engineer stating that you only need to examine the robustness and precision of the way that the muscles and bones work together to put the human body in motion.

The electrical engineer argues that God must be an electrical engineer, reminding the mechanical engineer that without the intricacies of the brain and nervous system the muscles would not even work.

Finally the civil engineer pipes up. He states that someone needs to simply look at one area of the human body for the answer to this riddle. He says, "Look at the location of the female's vagina and anus on her body. The location of these two body parts solves this riddle. God must have been a civil engineer. No other kind of engineer would have put a recreation area so close to a toxic waste dump!"

Psyko Tek
01-17-2005, 04:37 PM
what's the difference between meat and fish?


If you beat your fish it will die

el borracho
01-17-2005, 04:41 PM
A brunette, a redhead and a blonde are chatting one afternoon about problems with their teenage daughters. The brunette complains that “The other day I was in my daughter’s room and I found a pack of cigarettes. And I didn’t even know that she smoked!”
To this the redhead says, “That’s nothing. The other day I was in my daughter’s room and I found a bottle of whiskey. And I didn’t even know that she drank!”
To which the blonde replies, “The other day I was in my daughter’s room and I found a box of condoms. And I didn’t even know she had a dick!”