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siberian khatru
01-17-2005, 08:17 PM
I hesitate to post this, but I'm getting pretty desperate ...

It started out a few weeks ago I was playing on the beach and got caught up in this big friggin tsunami. It wiped out all my possessions, including my wallet which had my driver's license, credit cards and Barnes and Noble discount club card.

When I got back to the states I looked pretty rough, having been under 20 feet of water and not having a razor to shave and whatnot. Anyway, I show up for work at the slaughterhouse and my boss doesn't recognize me. He asks for some ID. Well, I told him I lost it in the tsunami. He didn't believe me. Told me no ID, no job. At this point I'm steaming, but I keep my cool and politely tell him who I am and that I lost my driver's license and credit cards and Barnes and Noble discount club card in a natural disaster. He kept giving me this regulations BS, and worst of all my wife and kids were witnessing this, seeing their old man getting humiliated, so I just lost it and told him to F-off and I quit on the spot.

So now I got no job, no money, no ID and no Barnes and Noble discount club card. I don't know how I'm gonna pay for Christmas presents for my kids this year. I mean, Christmas is REALLY going to suck, because I usually get the kids books and shit from Barnes and Noble. They are gonna be SO disappointed.

**EDIT**

You WON'T believe this, I just got a phone call from my folks in Missouri and found out one of their dogs has worms and is going to the vet tomorrow and they wondered if I could help them out seeing as how they're on SS and disability which isn't much thanks to the f*cking government. Man when it rains it really friggin pours.

I just worry about my kids' Christmas. And my computer, yeah, I really need a new computer too this one is on its last legs. Sucks.

KCWolfman
01-17-2005, 08:24 PM
go to tsunamireliefforslaughterhouseworkerstryingtogetchristmasandacomputer.com. After a 27 page application in triplicate and a blood sample along with one male child of working age, they usually get relief to the victims within 2 or 3 decades.

Earthling
01-17-2005, 08:25 PM
I am sending you a rope....Good luck.

Phobia
01-17-2005, 08:25 PM
Too funny. Nice spoof with a current event update. I give it an 8.... but I give it a zero dollares.

WilliamTheIrish
01-17-2005, 08:26 PM
That's what you get for livin' through it. P*ssy.

Bwana
01-17-2005, 08:26 PM
Not only no, but Fvck no.

Count Zarth
01-17-2005, 08:26 PM
Change his name to JOhn.

KCWolfman
01-17-2005, 08:26 PM
That's what you get for livin' through it. P*ssy.
Yup, a real man would have come out with a swordfish in his teeth, three strings of pearls, and the wallets of six other victims.

Cochise
01-17-2005, 08:30 PM
Can we get a mod to sticky this?

KCWolfman
01-17-2005, 08:31 PM
Can we get a mod to sticky this?
Phil probably jizzed on his screen if that is what you mean.

Saulbadguy
01-17-2005, 08:31 PM
Its not even Christmas!

KCWolfman
01-17-2005, 08:32 PM
Its not even Christmas!
Plan your natural disasters timely - This is a PSA

Cochise
01-17-2005, 08:33 PM
Phil probably jizzed on his screen if that is what you mean.

ROFL

el borracho
01-17-2005, 08:36 PM
Wow! What tragedy! I would like to send you eleventy billion dollars as a start towards your (and your family's) recovery. Is a check OK?

chiefs4me
01-17-2005, 08:37 PM
checks in the mail..;)

tk13
01-17-2005, 08:44 PM
I am sorry to hear that sk. I am unable to make a financial donation to your cause, so in lieu of cash I am going to send you a 1990 Donruss Brent Mayne rookie card. Best of luck to you and yours.

FloridaChief
01-17-2005, 08:46 PM
I am sorry to hear that sb. I am unable to make a financial donation to your cause, so in lieu of cash I am going to send you a 1990 Donruss Brent Mayne rookie card. Best of luck to you and yours.

And I'm going to throw in my Jon Anderson-Vangelis record collection. You should be set for life...

KCWolfman
01-17-2005, 08:47 PM
I am sorry to hear that sk. I am unable to make a financial donation to your cause, so in lieu of cash I am going to send you a 1990 Donruss Brent Mayne rookie card. Best of luck to you and yours.
I have a pic of an old Tandy TRS-80 I will donate as well.

siberian khatru
01-17-2005, 09:02 PM
Wow, I'm speechless ... The support here has been, well, there just aren't words to describe it. Actually there are, but they don't seem to get through the filters.

Anyway, thought y'all might like to know that I decided not to start smoking cigs. Figured that would save me about $300 a year. I mean, if I did smoke. Which I don't. But now I won't.

I'll make an exception if Over-head would send me some Newfie weed. (Note to tommykat: DO NOT READ THIS)

David.
01-17-2005, 09:29 PM
ok, what the hell is with the JOhn talk lately. Did I miss something?

Count Zarth
01-17-2005, 09:35 PM
ok, what the hell is with the JOhn talk lately. Did I miss something?

Before your time.

David.
01-17-2005, 09:46 PM
Before your time.

nonono, I KNOW what happened with JOhn before(remember, I told you I was a lurker before registration). What's with all the talk recently?

Count Zarth
01-17-2005, 09:46 PM
nonono, I KNOW what happened with JOhn before(remember, I told you I was a lurker before registration). What's with all the talk recently?

Someone brought his name up.

OldTownChief
01-17-2005, 10:34 PM
Wow, the outpouring of generosity in this thread is killing me. Shoot me a PM and I'll send you a bottle of MD 20/20 with some Prozac.

beavis
01-17-2005, 10:36 PM
Here's 5 bucks.

Buy a bullet and rent a gun.

Ari Chi3fs
01-17-2005, 10:44 PM
Im a sucker for a sob story.

Here is a buck.


http://www.dongettyphoto.com/tetons/images/Mule-Deer-1-Buck.jpg

ENDelt260
01-17-2005, 10:50 PM
Wow, the outpouring of generosity in this thread is killing me. Shoot me a PM and I'll send you a bottle of MD 20/20 with some Prozac.
Whoa... is that offer open to everyone?

Sounds like a sweet Friday night.

alanm
01-17-2005, 10:50 PM
Im a sucker for a sob story.

Here is a buck.


http://www.dongettyphoto.com/tetons/images/Mule-Deer-1-Buck.jpgHopefully Iowanian or his bro in law don't see this or they'll bust a cap in that buck.:)

Count Zarth
01-17-2005, 10:52 PM
Hopefully Iowanian or his bro in law don't see this or they'll bust a cap in that buck.:)

How dare you make such a suggestion. That is a beautiful animal and killing it is wrong. You should be ashamed of yourself.

Ari Chi3fs
01-17-2005, 10:55 PM
How dare you make such a suggestion. That is a beautiful animal and killing it is wrong. You should be ashamed of yourself.

no kidding, besides, I offered it to siberian khatru to help him in his time of need. GOSH!

Jenson71
01-18-2005, 05:18 AM
I'm not buying it. Everyone knows you don't need your Barnes and Noble card. You just tell them your phone number.