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Wilson
01-18-2005, 05:56 AM
NEW YORK - In late breaking news The New York Jets have confirmed that kicker Doug Brien attempted suicide in his Pittsburg Hotel room after the 20-17 playoff loss to the Steelers.

Brien missed two 47 and 43 yard field goals that would have moved the New York Jets into the AFC Championship Game.

Running back Curtis Martin said he walked into Brien's Room where he found the kicker standing on a chair with a small rope around his neck that was attatched to an support beam on the ceiling.

Martin commented: "It was really scary, he was all ready to end it all but the son of bitch couldn't kick the chair out from underneath him".

New York Jets official could not be contacted for comment.

MichaelH
01-18-2005, 05:59 AM
ROFL
If the story was true, I think Martin would have been eager to help him kick the chair out.

Herzig
01-18-2005, 06:00 AM
Damn...I heard Lin Elliot did the same thing about 10 years ago.

Bob Dole
01-18-2005, 06:06 AM
Talk about a recycled joke...

Skip Towne
01-18-2005, 06:51 AM
Where is that neg rep button?

ILChief
01-18-2005, 07:16 AM
Damn...I heard Lin Elliot did the same thing about 10 years ago.

and Scott Norwood

Kris Kringle
01-18-2005, 07:24 AM
NEW YORK - In late breaking news The New York Jets have confirmed that kicker Doug Brien attempted suicide in his Pittsburg Hotel room after the 20-17 playoff loss to the Steelers.

Brien missed two 47 and 43 yard field goals that would have moved the New York Jets into the AFC Championship Game.

Running back Curtis Martin said he walked into Brien's Room where he found the kicker standing on a chair with a small rope around his neck that was attatched to an support beam on the ceiling.

Martin commented: "It was really scary, he was all ready to end it all but the son of bitch couldn't kick the chair out from underneath him".

New York Jets official could not be contacted for comment.

:shake:

Cochise
01-18-2005, 07:25 AM
This joke is older than the skidmarks in Skip's drawers

Wilson
01-18-2005, 07:26 AM
Cripes, it was a joke.

Nothing is more popular around here than being obnoxous, I thought this would fit right in.

Duck Dog
01-18-2005, 07:43 AM
Cripes, it was a joke.

Nothing is more popular around here than being obnoxous, I thought this would fit right in.


It did fit right in.

Dr. Facebook Fever
01-18-2005, 07:44 AM
Gee.........I didn't see that coming...

morphius
01-18-2005, 08:13 AM
Cripes, it was a joke.

Nothing is more popular around here than being obnoxous, I thought this would fit right in.
The only issue is that EVERY KC fan has heard this joke from the {name that must not be spoken/typed} playoff game...

bricks
01-18-2005, 08:16 AM
NEW YORK - In late breaking news The New York Jets have confirmed that kicker Doug Brien attempted suicide in his Pittsburg Hotel room after the 20-17 playoff loss to the Steelers.

Brien missed two 47 and 43 yard field goals that would have moved the New York Jets into the AFC Championship Game.

Running back Curtis Martin said he walked into Brien's Room where he found the kicker standing on a chair with a small rope around his neck that was attatched to an support beam on the ceiling.

Martin commented: "It was really scary, he was all ready to end it all but the son of bitch couldn't kick the chair out from underneath him".

New York Jets official could not be contacted for comment.

That's f*ck'n stupid :shake: who the hell jokes about people killing themselves? Your NOT funny.

memyselfI
01-18-2005, 08:18 AM
NEW YORK - In late breaking news The New York Jets have confirmed that kicker Doug Brien attempted suicide in his Pittsburg Hotel room after the 20-17 playoff loss to the Steelers.

Brien missed two 47 and 43 yard field goals that would have moved the New York Jets into the AFC Championship Game.

Running back Curtis Martin said he walked into Brien's Room where he found the kicker standing on a chair with a small rope around his neck that was attatched to an support beam on the ceiling.

Martin commented: "It was really scary, he was all ready to end it all but the son of bitch couldn't kick the chair out from underneath him".

New York Jets official could not be contacted for comment.

Dejavu, just ask Lin Elliot.

Bob Dole
01-18-2005, 08:25 AM
That's f*ck'n stupid :shake: who the hell jokes about people killing themselves? Your NOT funny.


Bob Dole agrees 100%. There are children who read this forum, and they should not be exposed to discussion of suicide. Whether it was a failure or not, it is clearly inappropriate.

Perhaps someone with the mystical powers of moderation could act responsibly and deal with this distasteful topic accordingly.

Wilson
01-18-2005, 08:57 AM
That's f*ck'n stupid :shake: who the hell jokes about people killing themselves? Your NOT funny.

This has potential to get good, let me try:

My best friend committed suicide after learning where to buy pot seeds on the internet.

The only reason he started smoking pot in the first place was because he was persecuted for being Mexican and having both male and female genitalia.

One night he got drunk and was really stupid on this message board and posted that he has pot plants in his basement. Someone tracked his IP, called the police which lead to him being raped in prison.

After being released from prison he/she could no longer get aroused by the girly thread so he joined the army in hopes of showering with other men again and became a war hero.

Therefore, because I’ve dealt with suicide in my life, I can joke about it all I want.

I could take the “joke sucks” because it does, but hey bricks, kiss my balloon knot.

People like you who look for every opportunity to scream “injustice” need to be beaten with rubber hose. You make me sick.

Is your life so boring and insignificant that you need to look for drama on a message board?

Get a life.

Bob Dole
01-18-2005, 09:02 AM
Bob Dole can only assume that Wilson missed this thread (http://www.chiefsplanet.com/BB/showthread.php?t=108446).

Phobia
01-18-2005, 09:33 AM
This has potential to get good, let me try:

My best friend committed suicide after learning where to buy pot seeds on the internet.

The only reason he started smoking pot in the first place was because he was persecuted for being Mexican and having both male and female genitalia.

One night he got drunk and was really stupid on this message board and posted that he has pot plants in his basement. Someone tracked his IP, called the police which lead to him being raped in prison.

After being released from prison he/she could no longer get aroused by the girly thread so he joined the army in hopes of showering with other men again and became a war hero.

Therefore, because I’ve dealt with suicide in my life, I can joke about it all I want.

I could take the “joke sucks” because it does, but hey bricks, kiss my balloon knot.

People like you who look for every opportunity to scream “injustice” need to be beaten with rubber hose. You make me sick.

Is your life so boring and insignificant that you need to look for drama on a message board?

Get a life.

Well done. You are a very talented lurker. We'd like to see you post more, though. Maybe you could post more and bricks could post less.

Rain Man
01-18-2005, 09:38 AM
I'm concerned about the part of the story that mentions that it was a small rope. To me, this may mean that Brien didn't really want to commit suicide and was hoping that the rope would break under his weight. I think this was a cry for help more than a suicide attempt.

I mean, of course, that it's a cry for help by Wilson to get a new joke book, but maybe it's a cry for help by Brien as well.

Sure-Oz
01-18-2005, 09:39 AM
meh

Wile_E_Coyote
01-18-2005, 09:48 AM
only the punter holds it & kicks it too...this joke is flawed