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View Full Version : Get Your Kid to Shit. The perfect plan. Part Deux.


Ari Chi3fs
02-04-2005, 03:37 PM
A few months back, I was bitching about my kid shitting in his pants.

Well, he still does occassionally... but I think a perfect plan has been created, and I see it starting to work.

You piss in the pot... standing up, 1cent
You piss in the pot sitting down like a bitch, you get 5 cents taken away. [just kidding]

You shit in the pot...
you get a nickle.
you shit twice in a row without shitting yourself, 10 cents.

5 times in a row 25 cents. woo hoo.

He likes to save money. When his piggy bank gets full we go to the bank and then take that money to scottrade, and buy him some stocks.

I then let him sit and trade with me, and I give him choices for which stocks he wants to buy.

So far he as gotten several pennies, :clap: and yet a couple nickels... :cuss:

But I see progress from that little stubborn sonuvagun.

:thumb:

Donger
02-04-2005, 03:51 PM
Yeah, I thought changing a sh*tty diaper was bad.

It's a whole different experince when the kid walks over to you, buck naked, holding his sh*tty underwear for you to "take care of."

Rain Man
02-04-2005, 03:52 PM
Can I get in on this deal? I think I could turn a profit.

Joe Seahawk
02-04-2005, 03:57 PM
Yeah, I thought changing a sh*tty diaper was bad.

It's a whole different experince when the kid walks over to you, buck naked, holding his sh*tty underwear for you to "take care of."



I just made my kids clean it up themselves... Problem solved..

ENDelt260
02-04-2005, 03:59 PM
I just made my kids clean it up themselves... Problem solved..
That's pretty much what keeps me from shitting my pants today.

Ari Chi3fs
02-04-2005, 04:00 PM
im hoping the lights come on and he realizes that this is the opportunity of a lifetime. Get paid for bodily functions. I would have earned 9 cents today. That is awesome.


$32.85 per year potential. Maybe $35 if you factor in the two-dump tuesdays... and other multiple fecal waste days

say you buy a stock worth .0004 and it goes up to .002 [like I had one happen this week] you earn 500% on that $35... totalling $165...

if you keep getting 100% or more on your money like every investment... that $35 could help him retire a shitty ass rich man.

Donger
02-04-2005, 04:00 PM
I just made my kids clean it up themselves... Problem solved..

Out of curiousity, how old? Male or female?

Joe Seahawk
02-04-2005, 04:03 PM
That's pretty much what keeps me from shitting my pants today.

If you're feeling kind of lazy and you live near Ali Chi3fs you could just head over to his house. maybe he'll take care of it for ya.. ;)

Joe Seahawk
02-04-2005, 04:05 PM
Out of curiousity, how old? Male or female?

I have 2 boys 11 and 12.

Donger
02-04-2005, 04:06 PM
I have 2 boys 11 and 12.

Heh.

When did you start making them clean up themselves?

Iowanian
02-04-2005, 04:06 PM
Put a damn gumball machine in the bathroom.....every time he takes a dump, give him a penny.

He'll be pinching a peanut sized loaf every 30 minutes.

My brother Bribed his kid with matchbox cars.

Rain Man
02-04-2005, 04:06 PM
I have 2 boys 11 and 12.


Oh, yeah. At that age, you should definitely make them clean it up themselves.

Joe Seahawk
02-04-2005, 04:13 PM
Heh.

When did you start making them clean up themselves?

Yesterday.. ;)

Actually, I was pretty lucky, my kids pretty much got the hang of it by 2, however my first had a few accidents. My 2nd couldn't wait to use the crapper like his brother.. Put cheerios in the toilet and let them pee on them, they think that's the coolest thing ever.. (I must admit it is fun) :)

siberian khatru
02-04-2005, 04:15 PM
A few months back, I was bitching about my kid shitting in his pants.

Well, he still does occassionally...

Hey, who doesn't?

Iowanian
02-04-2005, 04:15 PM
Someday you'll be saying

"Ali-Earnie......you're 14 now, and you're going to look funny enough on that moped without that Butt Mudd squirting out the top of your ToughSkins...."

Calcountry
02-04-2005, 04:42 PM
A few months back, I was bitching about my kid shitting in his pants.

Well, he still does occassionally... but I think a perfect plan has been created, and I see it starting to work.

You piss in the pot... standing up, 1cent
You piss in the pot sitting down like a bitch, you get 5 cents taken away. [just kidding]

You shit in the pot...
you get a nickle.
you shit twice in a row without shitting yourself, 10 cents.

5 times in a row 25 cents. woo hoo.

He likes to save money. When his piggy bank gets full we go to the bank and then take that money to scottrade, and buy him some stocks.

I then let him sit and trade with me, and I give him choices for which stocks he wants to buy.

So far he as gotten several pennies, :clap: and yet a couple nickels... :cuss:

But I see progress from that little stubborn sonuvagun.

:thumb:I sure hope he is beyond that time honored todler tendency to put everything you give him, I.E. pennies, into his mouth.

Calcountry
02-04-2005, 04:43 PM
That's pretty much what keeps me from shitting my pants today.It really sucks when you get so old that you can't control your piss or shit no more.

Bob Dole
02-04-2005, 04:44 PM
That's pretty much what keeps me from shitting my pants today.

No it doesn't.