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View Full Version : Hypothetical: You're at a garage sale.


Rain Man
02-26-2005, 10:34 PM
Lo and behold, amidst all of the clutter, you see a copy of one of your favorite paintings in the world, the masterpiece entitled "Hamsters Playing Poker" by previously unknown artist Jerry Finkelheimer.

The old lady running the sale, an overweight woman in polyester shorts carrying a cigar box full of change, refuses to budge on the asking price of $2.50. Knowing that you're getting a bargain, you pay her the full shebang and practically skip to the car in glee, your "Rodents Playing Poker" collection now complete.

You drive home immediately, and carefully lift the painting from the trunk. You carry it to your humble abode, practically crying with glee, and balance it in one hand while you unlock the door with the other hand.

Instantly, you are met by a flying ball of fur. Your pet signing gorilla, Koko, has somehow escaped her cage, and she's excited to greet you. Koko pulls you inside, and for the next ten minutes she caroms you off walls, bounce you against the ceiling, and forcefeeds you bananas and small grubs. By the time Koko's excitement wears off, you're a bag of broken bones and bruises. Lying on the floor, you look over at Hamsters Playing Poker, and it's busted into three pieces. However, there's something sticking out of one of them...

Over-Head
02-26-2005, 10:36 PM
Come on, what's sticking out? :hmmm:

Phobia
02-26-2005, 10:38 PM
Yes.

FloridaChief
02-26-2005, 10:42 PM
Is this sale actually in a garage or is it out-of-doors?

4th and Long
02-26-2005, 10:43 PM
I'm a little lost here.

You said it's a "painting" then you go on to say that, "it's busted in three pieces and something is sticking out of one of them."

In my experience with paintings, and given the nature of canvas, or felt as it were, it would be rather difficult to "bust" it into 3 pieces or stuff something "in between" anything. Now if this were a statuette ... :hmmm:

Oh and I'd snatch up that painting in a heart beat and here's why.

http://www.cnn.com/2005/US/02/15/dogs.playing.poker.ap/

Dogs playing poker paintings fetch $590,000

NEW YORK (AP) -- A pair of paintings from the famed series depicting dogs playing poker fetched nearly $600,000 at auction Tuesday.

The two works -- "A Bold Bluff" and "Waterloo" -- were among 16 paintings that artist Cassius Marcellus Coolidge was commissioned to create for a Minnesota-based advertising company in 1903. Of the 16, nine are of dogs playing poker.

http://i.a.cnn.net/cnn/2005/US/02/15/dogs.playing.poker.ap/story.boldbluff.jpg

The two works that sold Tuesday for $590,400 capture moments in a poker game played by five dogs, among them a St. Bernard that ends up collecting the pot on a bluff.

The winning bid set a new auction record for Coolidge, whose previous top sale was $74,000, said Alan Fausel, director of paintings at Doyle New York, which handled Tuesday's sale.

The winning bidder was a private collector from New York.

Doyle had estimated that the two paintings would bring in between $30,000 and $50,000.

The sale was part of Doyle's annual "Dogs in Art" auction, which coincides with the Westminster Kennel Club dog show.

Thig Lyfe
02-26-2005, 10:43 PM
I would want to find the Beethoven symphony and take credit for it.

Phobia
02-26-2005, 10:45 PM
I was fooled. I didn't realize this was a poll. I figured Kevin picked up a new globe today and his cats destroyed it. I'm a little disappointed that it's a poll. I really wanted a Kevin story on my special day. Thanks for nothing.

morphius
02-26-2005, 10:45 PM
My stolen bike so I know whose teeth to kick in?

4th and Long
02-26-2005, 10:48 PM
My stolen bike so I know whose teeth to kick in?
[setup man]What color was it?[/setup man]

Michael Michigan
02-26-2005, 10:52 PM
The wife's return airline ticket?

Rausch
02-26-2005, 10:53 PM
I picked the Constitution option.

Black men and women should be entire human beings from the beginning. The french, of course, should not. Mabye 1/5th, tops...

Talisman
02-26-2005, 11:20 PM
Did any of the hamsters have a flush draw?

beavis
02-26-2005, 11:27 PM
Unless it's a cornerback, I really don't care.

alanm
02-26-2005, 11:47 PM
Now why would you have a pet Gorilla at home? And the name Koko isn't that original either. You're slipping Kevin, you're slipping. :shake:
BTW I voted for the Monet. Probably fetch more money than the Van Gogh. :thumb:

cdcox
02-27-2005, 01:17 AM
I want the Luther 95 theses so I can burn them. I'm Lutheran and we don't deal well with change.

Rain Man
02-27-2005, 02:43 AM
Now why would you have a pet Gorilla at home? And the name Koko isn't that original either. You're slipping Kevin, you're slipping. :shake:



Hey, you're the one who hypothetically bought the gorilla and named it, not me.

mcan
02-27-2005, 05:35 AM
I voted Magna Carta... Jeez, it's like the oldest political document to ever exist, and is certainly much more important than any art piece, diary, or modern political manuscript. It's the freaking MAGNA CARTA! I'd break my own arm right here and now for that kind of find...

Basically, it would be pricless. Not 500K, not 1 Mil, not 10 Mil, there would be no price that could be put on it...

keg in kc
02-27-2005, 05:38 AM
I'd be happy with an old issue of Oui.

Skip Towne
02-27-2005, 07:28 AM
This thread makes me think Kevin is doing drugs while his wife is out of town.

trndobrd
02-27-2005, 07:47 AM
This thread makes me think Kevin is doing drugs while his wife is out of town.


Obviously he didn't take Endelt's offer for a guided tour of some of the finer Mexican brothels. :shake:

seclark
02-27-2005, 09:02 AM
i took the lewis and clark diary option...i used to party a lot w/those guys back in the day, and would be interested to see if i was listed anywhere in it.
sec

Over-Head
02-27-2005, 10:44 AM
A Michael Angelo would be sweet

jspchief
02-27-2005, 11:20 AM
Whichever was worth the most money. I'm not delusional enough to think I wouldn't sell it.

If money were no object to me, and it was purely a matter of interest, The Lewis and Clark diary would be fascinating IMO.

Phobia
02-27-2005, 11:27 AM
Whichever was worth the most money. I'm not delusional enough to think I wouldn't sell it.

If money were no object to me, and it was purely a matter of interest, The Lewis and Clark diary would be fascinating IMO.

Bah - those bastards couldn't even spell. It would be like reading kcnut for hours upon hours....

I voted pyramid plans. How could you not? They would answer a lot of questions and be an architectural find for the ages.

jspchief
02-27-2005, 11:29 AM
OOOhh...I passed over the pyramid one. I'd like to change my answer.

CosmicPal
02-27-2005, 12:00 PM
I'm torn between the Lewis & Clark and Hitler papers. Having read the Lewis & Clark adventures, I'll probably have to pass on it- it was a great read about the wild unknown- although Lewis wasn't a great speller...

Anyways, I'm ONLY sold on the Hitler papers because I'd be interested to peer behind the thoughts of a madman. I want to know what the phuck this jerk-off was thinking- what made him so evil and incorrigible.

I'd read it, and then I'd try to sell the trash for as much as I could- if I didn't think the price was considerable enough- I'd burn it in front of everyone on national TV in a motion for freedom and understanding amongst us all.

The Pedestrian
02-27-2005, 12:03 PM
I'm gonna say the original construction layout for the Great Pyramid...as long as you make an agreement with the Egyptian government, you'll probably be able to make tons of money off of it.

Although it wasn't on the list, I would've picked the previously unknown diary of Jesus of Nazarath. It would be awesome if it was long enough to cover from age 13 to his death.

As always, I shall start at the beginning. I will start at the beginning. I first had to take Mark and Peter to the church because it seems to be the only place where they will behave...I'm starting to think that although Matthew is my brother, he should not have introduced me to his friends...no matter how great he thinks they are. Anyway, I let Mark and Peter listen to one of my sermons once we got to the church. It went pretty well, but one of the officials thought I was going a bit too far when I was talking about forgiveness. After visiting with the congregation, I went home and found that step-father Joseph had a heart attack while we were gone. It took exactly 20 minutes to bring him back to life...I'm getting better at this. I then went into the market place and met up with Mary Magdeline. No one suspects that we've been in a relationship for two months, and it's progressing rather well. She says that I should stop by her house tomorrow to get her birthday present...I wonder why she won't be able to give her present at the party tomorrow like she used to do.
Forgive me Father, for I have sinned. ... ...

Rain Man
02-27-2005, 12:06 PM
I'm torn between the Lewis & Clark and Hitler papers. Having read the Lewis & Clark adventures, I'll probably have to pass on it- it was a great read about the wild unknown- although Lewis wasn't a great speller...

Anyways, I'm ONLY sold on the Hitler papers because I'd be interested to peer behind the thoughts of a madman. I want to know what the phuck this jerk-off was thinking- what made him so evil and incorrigible.

I'd read it, and then I'd try to sell the trash for as much as I could- if I didn't think the price was considerable enough- I'd burn it in front of everyone on national TV in a motion for freedom and understanding amongst us all.


My two finalists were the Hitler diary and the Constitution. I think we'd learn a lot more from the Hitler diary, and it would be fascinating reading. However, in the end I decided that it'd be more cool to add to the body of learning about something very positive than something very negative.

The Pedestrian
02-27-2005, 12:11 PM
...

Anyways, I'm ONLY sold on the Hitler papers because I'd be interested to peer behind the thoughts of a madman. I want to know what the phuck this jerk-off was thinking- what made him so evil and incorrigible.

...

I'm pretty sure you could find that out by tracking down an English version of "Mein Kampf."