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Iowanian
03-01-2005, 08:28 PM
In a meeting, Up in front,
A gurgle happens in my gut.
Sensation growing, moving down
Please Oh Please, no Noise of Brown.

Pinching cheeks with all my might
Hope to God the Seals' tight.
If it happens, and my Crack gets tacky
I'm so fooked...My pants, light khaki.

Presentation, finish quick
The smell escapes, makes people sick.
No I can't take any questions
Must go deal with Indigestion.

Throwing People out of my way,
they'll be sorry if I stay.
Run for bathroom Doing fine,
Grab A stall, thank God no Line.

Explosion Happens, volume triples
Did Crapnel chunks just hit my nipple?
I made it through, and tamed this beast
Hold my Breath and Sigh Relief.

Into room They come,
as Toilet Drains,
As I proudly walk, the walk of Shame.

marsaray
03-01-2005, 08:30 PM
Ahhh toilet humor and poetry all wraped up into one. I have been waiting my whole life for this.

Iowanian
03-01-2005, 08:30 PM
This thread was brought to you by the Number 2, and letters T&P.

marsaray
03-01-2005, 08:31 PM
Those must be the word of the day. Im going to get a new avatar.

Phobia
03-01-2005, 08:41 PM
Craptacular!

Rain Man
03-01-2005, 08:45 PM
Ahhh toilet humor and poetry all wraped up into one. I have been waiting my whole life for this.


It's called toiletry.

Iowanian
03-01-2005, 10:45 PM
Rainman.......why do you have to take everything to the Dumper?

I work for a solid 10 minutes to pen out a poem for my brother, to explain a meeting and you have to go right for the Pickle Park Humor.

"Good things, Good Things" [/whap]

SBK
03-02-2005, 12:40 AM
Wow, I've been there. Hate that walk of shame....but then again the relief makes me not really care.

Ari ümlaüt
03-02-2005, 01:36 AM
yeah, i told the story a couple months back about my friend whose seal wasnt 'tight' and he blew a g'ass'ket in his blue khakis... right after a meeting on the way to bathroom... thinking it was a fart... it 'twas not.

Skip Towne
03-02-2005, 06:38 AM
Yeah!! A poop thread. More!!

Bootlegged
03-02-2005, 06:47 AM
after years of experience and research, I have come to the conclusion that chick turds smell worse than man turds.

Monty
03-02-2005, 07:29 AM
A poop thread is not complete without Captain Underpants (http://www.pilkey.com/cusong.php)

Iowanian
03-02-2005, 09:02 AM
I think you guys missed the point. This isn't about the Poop.........Its a metaphor about the Thrill of victory, and thankfully not the agony of Defeat.

I figured it was more usefull than making up a FA signing rumor. Truthfully, there is lest Crap in this thread than several others.

cookster50
03-02-2005, 09:10 AM
This thread is worthless without pics.

Frankie
03-02-2005, 09:12 AM
:banghead: :banghead:

I'm treating myself to a rare nice breakfast today and I HAD TO READ THIS just before attempting to eat.

CURSE YOU IOWANIAN..IAN..IAN..IAN..IAN!!!

Iowanian
03-02-2005, 09:13 AM
Don't any of you fuggers Do it!

Iowanian
03-02-2005, 09:14 AM
:banghead: :banghead:
CURSE YOU IOWANIAN..IAN..IAN..IAN..IAN!!!

Little Buddy, its far too early in the day, to have your head so far in your butt that there is an echo. It can't be easy to get that spoon of Fruity pebbles to your mouth either.


Iowanian Posts must be like a Flame for a moth........You know it's eventually going to burn you, but you just can't help going to the light.

cookster50
03-02-2005, 09:19 AM
http://www.funnypart.com/funny_pictures/dogpoop.shtml

seclark
03-02-2005, 09:19 AM
to those that feel this ode was funny
snickering "iowanians ass crack's runny"

you might now just want to remind
yourself, how clean's your own behind?
sec

Monty
03-02-2005, 01:15 PM
to those that feel this ode was funny
snickering "iowanians ass crack's runny"

you might now just want to remind
yourself, how clean's your own behind?
sec

I'll have you know, I do declare....
That I have on clean underwear.....

The reason why,is very clear....
I used some soap on my own rear....

I checked my legs, they were ok...
No matter as I don't wash them anyway.... :p

Baby Lee
03-02-2005, 01:19 PM
No percolation
during powerpoint slide show
must keep dignity.

ENDelt260
03-02-2005, 01:19 PM
Did Crapnel chunks just hit my nipple?

Ooohhhh...

cookster50
03-02-2005, 01:20 PM
I'll have you know, I do declare....
That I have on clean underwear.....

The reason why,is very clear....
I used some soap on my own rear....

I checked my legs, they were ok...
No matter as I don't wash them anyway.... :p


If you don't have a clean rear derriere
No one will stick their tongue near there

Therefore no one will toss your salad
Thus the end of our ballad.

cookster50
03-02-2005, 01:21 PM
If you don't have a clean rear derriere
No one will stick their tongue near there

Therefore no one will toss your salad
Thus the end of our ballad.


That is wrong on so many levels....

Iowanian
03-02-2005, 01:27 PM
Wedding Tackle Splashed
Who Does Number 2 work for?!
Needing Plunger Soon

ENDelt260
03-02-2005, 01:28 PM
You sank my Battleshit!

Baby Lee
03-02-2005, 01:40 PM
eight minute abs
ain't got nuttin' on my sh!ts
grunt strain let 'er go.

Iowanian
03-02-2005, 01:40 PM
Wonder what she ate?
Girl Farts smell like French Fries
Up wind is better.

Iowanian
03-02-2005, 01:42 PM
Bombs away Captain
Cheerio Rises To Top
Fire Torpedo 2

Baby Lee
03-02-2005, 01:43 PM
venti mochalatta
not so pleasant this time 'round.
caffeine tickles bowels

Iowanian
03-02-2005, 01:44 PM
Bucket of Cables
Bronco fans have to eat, too
wipe your chin, taco

Baby Lee
03-02-2005, 01:44 PM
Olestra on 'roids.
Clean the chute in no time flat.
corn nibs swept away.

Pants
03-02-2005, 01:52 PM
sitting on a tiolet
pushing really hard
please come out already
dear 12-inch turd

mister 12-inch poo
won't be going easy
forming big ol' horse-shoe
leaving me so dizzy

there goes my baby
floating oh so gaily
time to flush the monster
get the big ol' plunger

Iowanian
03-02-2005, 01:53 PM
0 4 Free Agents
Material for this thread
Good Luck in 'Zona

Iowanian
03-02-2005, 01:55 PM
Splatter up my back
Didn't see the Lid was down
Shoes filling also

Pants
03-02-2005, 01:56 PM
Splatter up my back
Didn't see the Lid was down
Shoes filling also

ROFL

Baby Lee
03-02-2005, 02:04 PM
"Play Doh Fun Bucket"
Not so fun at 'wanian's house
Only color, brown.

Pants
03-02-2005, 02:06 PM
"Play Doh Fun Bucket"
Not so fun at 'wanian's house
Only color, brown.

ROFL

Why is this thread so funny?

cookster50
03-02-2005, 02:31 PM
ROFL

Why is this thread so funny?
Because poop sells, everyone knows that.

Iowanian
03-02-2005, 04:03 PM
Ode to the Impatient

No Free Agents Yet
Carl Still On his vacation
He can Suk mah baows

Iowanian
03-09-2005, 02:05 PM
The Brown Noise, Part POO: the Spattering:

Its 30 minutes after lunch,
I just thought you should know.
I'm squirming here atop my chair
About to face my well known Foe.

People Look in wonder
and its only the beginning
About to chip some moellers
Busted teeth from Brutal Gritting

Union Meeting Crowded line
No more stopping my behind.
I take me seat and grab a grip
Screw the union, Let it rip.

Explosive recoil,
thunder rolls
Art work Formed
inside the Bowl

I make no claim of value
What this master piece is worth
if it hadn't been half water
It'd be like giving birth

It might seem strange to look,
This one gave me the sweats.
but the spatter in that bowl right there
looks like our friend Bob Gretz

ENDelt260
03-09-2005, 02:10 PM
I'm thankful for the small things in life. Like the fact that apparently Iowanian's job doesn't include the need for a digital camera.

Iowanian
03-09-2005, 02:12 PM
Oh...but It does.

I'm not going that far for your entertainment though.

ENDelt260
03-09-2005, 02:13 PM
Oh...but It does.

I'm not going that far for your entertainment though.
I and the other members of this BB thank you.

Hoover
03-09-2005, 02:14 PM
We already have 30 threads about stupid shit, Ban this terd!

ENDelt260
03-09-2005, 02:15 PM
We already have 30 threads about stupid shit, Ban this terd!
But, this is poetic shit!

Hoover
03-09-2005, 02:21 PM
But, this is poetic shit!
Opps my bad

bogie
03-09-2005, 02:33 PM
It's called toiletry.

This made me laugh again.
ROFL

Iowanian
03-09-2005, 04:22 PM
Someone Find a fan
wanian Broke wind again
Open the Window

chiefs4me
03-09-2005, 05:24 PM
I passed by this thread 15 times or more......oh why did I have to stop and read it.....:banghead:

Iowanian
03-09-2005, 05:26 PM
Easy..the same reason you feel the need to wipe your butt on the curtains of every other thread.

big nasty kcnut
03-09-2005, 05:30 PM
The ode to mudbutt great job.

Baby Lee
03-09-2005, 05:52 PM
Eyes water, lashes curl.
Digested esters escape.
Fragrance fills the room.

Iowanian
05-02-2005, 11:48 AM
Intense thought of targeting
the cheerio I'll be sinking
About to make another trip
to the throne of enlightened thinking.

No fiber pills are needed
I pick the time and Place
No need to set a timeclock
This ones, not a race.

Mental preparation.
Breathing forced and stout.
with the next contraction
I'll work this mutha out.

A thought crosses in my mind
As I'm giving birth.
The splash of water on mah arse...
the fastest Thing on earth?

ExtremeChief
05-02-2005, 01:04 PM
Oh the great fecal
Pushing sphincter to the max
coffee is debil

Baby Lee
05-02-2005, 01:08 PM
scatalogical
never saw the connection
between poop and jazz.

RaiderH8r
05-02-2005, 01:08 PM
Here I sit in smelly vapor
The last guy here used all the paper
The Boss is coming, I dare not linger
Look out butt, here comes the finger

Baby Lee
05-02-2005, 01:10 PM
Here I sit in smelly vapor
The last guy here used all the paper
The Boss is coming, I dare not linger
Look out butt, here comes the finger
H8R, jcroft.
jcroft, H8R.

ExtremeChief
05-02-2005, 01:11 PM
thanks to flatulii,
in church, a new kind of pew,
uh oh, holy shit

Iowanian
07-14-2005, 10:59 PM
sweet corn season now
2 fresh ears in mah belly
see You Tomorrow

Fat Elvis
07-14-2005, 11:13 PM
scatalogical
never saw the connection
between poop and jazz.

Too bad your rep is disabled.
:hmmm:

Fat Elvis
07-14-2005, 11:26 PM
Iowanian
His alter ego, gochiefs
Both battle Klingons

Fat Elvis
07-14-2005, 11:31 PM
A corollary,
An inverse relationship-
hair on butt and head

Fat Elvis
07-14-2005, 11:33 PM
Turtle head peeking
No bathroom is in my sight
thank you paper bag

Iowanian
07-14-2005, 11:36 PM
Phantom Dook is found
Letter Q is impressive
chiefs4me did it

Fat Elvis
07-14-2005, 11:40 PM
The Phantom menace
is a steamy pile of doo doo
outside the campsite

Iowanian
07-14-2005, 11:43 PM
Late to the Party
Fat Elvis makes Poo-etry
No pens have brown Ink.

Mosbonian
07-14-2005, 11:47 PM
Question.....a naked man in solitary takes a dump and uses it to write on the wall.....

Would you call that writing with a #2 pencil?

mmaddog
*******

Rausch
07-15-2005, 12:31 AM
Note to poor people (or college kids): no matter how broke you are don't eat scrambled eggs with cheese for 6 straight meals. Just...don't.

ExtremeChief
07-15-2005, 04:04 AM
Short Drunken German,
Ate a bunch of scrambled eggs,
Pissing out his ass

J Diddy
07-15-2005, 04:06 AM
Note to poor people (or college kids): no matter how broke you are don't eat scrambled eggs with cheese for 6 straight meals. Just...don't.


Shows what you know.

Poor people can't afford cheese

Rausch
07-15-2005, 04:07 AM
Short Drunken German,
Ate a bunch of scrambled eggs,
Pissing out his ass

Pissed off like Japan
bitch cooked those damned eggs again
kill her down by the river...

Rausch
07-15-2005, 04:08 AM
Shows what you know.

Poor people can't afford cheese

Shows what you know, welfare gives that $#it out like candy...

J Diddy
07-15-2005, 04:11 AM
Shows what you know, welfare gives that $#it out like candy...

I need to get me some welfare then.


Free cheese would rule.

Jenson71
07-15-2005, 04:20 AM
Welfare, WIC, all that jazz.

What's stupid is how those foodstamps pay for candy and pop and junkfood. It's ridiculous.

ExtremeChief
07-15-2005, 05:46 AM
Welfare, WIC, all that jazz.

What's stupid is how those foodstamps pay for candy and pop and junkfood. It's ridiculous.


Standing in the line,
Waiting for the gubment cheese,
Get a job, bitches

Iowanian
08-03-2005, 04:20 PM
Another Day, Another Dollar.
Arse is burning, About to holler.

Hurry home For Pain relief,
the soothing cool of toilet seat.
I'll get there by spinning wheels,
No leaks today, thanks Buns of Steel.

Can he make it? Taking Bets
Over/Under Pants brown-wet?
Home team getting 3 and cramps,
Make it home, and be the Champ.

Baby Lee
08-03-2005, 04:39 PM
Thai Chili Peppers
Do a number on your ass
Spicy through and through

Ari Chi3fs
08-03-2005, 04:51 PM
walking down a trail,
the other day...
Thought I'd fart,
but OH, no way...
I felt a squirt
and gave a squeeze...
much too late so,
I wiped with leaves.


:banghead:

http://www.ontariowildflower.com/images/asterlargeleavedlv.jpg

Iowanian
11-23-2005, 10:42 AM
Thanksgiving Friday.


Too much Turkey, Pumpkin pie
I strain so hard I close my eyes.
Ate that fiber, turned it brown
it'll take two flushes, to take it down

Turkey base, potato filling
over my pants the gut is spilling
The bubbles rumble, near the bottom
Explosive gas, surely rotten.

You know you'll do it...
take a look
Thursdays menu,
an open book.

So thank you Indians
for the food we borrowed
Oh Look its corn,
see you tomorrow.

Iowanian
04-07-2006, 11:02 AM
Feel the gurgles, rumble down
Its near time to birth some brown.
open lid on orangemange.
relief inside from gastral pain
congratulations,t@co Jr weighs 3 pounds

BucEyedPea
04-07-2006, 11:06 AM
Sounds like pregnancy to me! ROFL

Skip Towne
04-07-2006, 11:17 AM
Sounds like pregnancy to me! ROFL
Nope. Iowanian has never been pregnant. He's on the rag sometimes though.

ChiefButthurt
04-07-2006, 11:24 AM
I'm one sick bastard...I read this entire thread while eating lunch.

Gonzo
04-07-2006, 11:29 AM
I'm one sick bastard...I read this entire thread while eating lunch.

ROFL Rep!

Iowanian
04-07-2006, 11:33 AM
Some might read the paper
While sitting on the crapper.
But if you eat while dumping,
you're one nasty bastard.

BucEyedPea
04-07-2006, 11:42 AM
Nope. Iowanian has never been pregnant. He's on the rag sometimes though.


men's PMS?

That's called TPS=Testorterone Poisoning Syndrome.

And when they age the lose hormones and get those man-boobs!
ROFL


Anyhooo...still sounds like pregnancy to me.
Great literature allows the reader to add their own meaning...right?

Iowanian
04-07-2006, 11:54 AM
Girls go to the head in pairs, its not to catch a peek.
She's there to help in case of a brown blunder.
Because they dump only once a week,
They have to double team the plunger.

Baby Lee
04-07-2006, 12:00 PM
Some might read the paper
While sitting on the crapper.
But if you eat while dumping,
you're one nasty bastard.
http://sh.stonks.com/junk/snapshot20060330065510.jpg
You got something to say about coffee, schtunad???

ENDelt260
04-07-2006, 12:05 PM
What's your opinion on blumpkins?

Inspector
04-07-2006, 01:38 PM
This reminds of how much I hate crapnel chunks hitting my nipple.

Iowanian
04-10-2006, 03:17 PM
Why'd I have to be the one
To walk in here with that guy?
I don't think I'll ever get,
the foul grit from my eyes.

Slow motion blur forms in my mind
as I pass him near the sink
A toxic funk came from that guys arse
and Oh Laaaawd does it stink.

It was his choice to smile.
All part of his evil plan.
He didn't even wash the crap off..
his toxic, nasty hands.

He should have used some bleach and soap
to detox his nasty binge.
Now instead of using the door knob,
I'll have to kick it off its hinge.

I'm glad he was a stranger,
Someone I'll never know.
An environmental warning
Should follow him in tow.


If he comes back, I'll be ready
and I if he does the same.
I think I'll drown him in that toilet
and give the EPA his name.

Baby Lee
04-10-2006, 03:23 PM
T convalesces
Silvio is on the throne
Skipper on crapper.

Baby Lee
04-10-2006, 03:24 PM
wise guy creates stench
ruling from hospital loo
asthma to ensue

Iowanian
04-10-2006, 04:30 PM
She placed some calls to Guiness
To see what the feat was worth..
While she hadn't measured the cable yet
She assumed it had a record Girth.

A lady doesn't crap and tell
but sometimes she just must
She birthed a brown so big around,
she thought her pelvis would bust.

She has an horseman there to verify,
the cable when it lands
He tipped his hat and said
"by gawd, I think your brown is 19 hands".

Ripley sent the cameras
Guiness sent the measure tape,
Her landlord brought a shovel
For the skidmarks left to scrape.

She feels her face a flushing
as every one who takes a peek...
laughs at her new fortune
that with Ripleys now she seeks

So get a ticket to stand in line
To get yourself a look...
Or look for the record cable
In this years' Guiness book.

kcfanintitanhell
04-10-2006, 05:47 PM
A trombone player friend of mine told me this story about a gig he was doing in Nashville in a pit orchestra for a musical. They were all wearing tuxes but were given the option, given the heat and humidity, to take off the jackets.
In front of him was a trumpet player, who was battling an intestinal bug.
Halfway through the second number, said trumpet player was required to hit a very high note. When he hit the note, said trumpet player lost his seal and proceeded to shit not only his pants but the force of the note he was trying to hit and the broken seal caused him to shit all the way up the back of his white tux shirt.
He was given the rest of the night off. ROFL

Iowanian
12-28-2006, 11:48 AM
A brand new jar of pickled eggs
Glistening in a jar brine
After eating half a dozen
It might be doodoo time.

Some might have made decisions
not to eat all of them in the bowl
But I'm a pickled egg stuntman
Thats just how I roll.

The impending trouble brewing
my stomach gurgles and it growls
I fear the contents working
In my now troubled bowels.

Its bound to smell like oakland,
Newer than a bolt fans gear.
It just might be a bronco fan
being birthed from my burning rear.

StcChief
12-28-2006, 11:50 AM
ROFL. Rep to Iowanian

Halfcan
12-28-2006, 12:07 PM
This is much better than

Sat on the stool brokenhearted
tried to shit but only farted

Iowanian
12-28-2006, 12:13 PM
Almost to 100 posts
this thread on a roll
A lot of crappy football games
Is this the most entertaining bowl?

go bowe
12-28-2006, 12:20 PM
yep, pretty much...

Iowanian
12-29-2006, 01:10 PM
.

Iowanian
01-05-2007, 04:28 PM
much time you've spent here
reading of my defication
I'm honored that you're entertained
by my online bowel evacuation.

In playoff form I've practiced
I'm in shape and well prepared.
I've taken out a match and candle
to sweeten up this musty air.

As others pull into indy,
and find a place to park.
I'll sink a pic of Peyton,
Paint it with skid marks.

Althought Its not a licensed Fathead
for that I'm not ashamed.
I'll drop a duece that looks like Manning
A first Poop ballot Hall of Fame.

Chief Henry
01-05-2007, 04:38 PM
.

That kid looks like he's flickin a brown booger with his left hand :p

Baby Lee
01-05-2007, 04:42 PM
As others pull into indy,
and find a place to park.
I'll sink a pic of Peyton,
Paint it with skid marks.
Poor meal selection
Applebee's Fajita Burger
I-70 is long.

Fairplay
01-06-2007, 12:03 AM
Iowanian, Taco is a real classy guy and wouldn't have posted what you shown in this thread.

Ask him he will tell you.

Iowanian
01-06-2007, 10:16 AM
I'll never sweat the Taco
He's a flaming bag of donkey brown.
Even our dipshit fans look smarter
with his dumbass around.

He likes to be a martyr
thats just his bronco way
he's the one for quentin sanders
and jake plummer he'd go ghey.

I could choose to take the high road
and show I have more class.
But he can take a wooden spoon,
and eat some knowledge from this Chief fans arse.

Iowanian
04-24-2007, 12:30 PM
I find my first class seat,
Aboard the American Standard Throne.
I Open up this months' Field and Stream
to Enjoy 5 minutes time alone.

I hear the scratching at the door,
I see the handle turn.
This is one of those moments
From which my child should not learn.

"no no!" doesn't do the trick,
and before me she now stands
"Daddy, daddy Whachu Doin?"
this 1 year old Demands.

"Woman get her out of here!"
the Alpha Male now Shouts.
What a lovely family gathering,
Now all of you get out.

In shock and some embarrassment,
Forced to pinch off the angry beast.
What does a man have to do at home,
for time to deficate in peace?

I hear the wife a laughing,
And what else could she do?
The child shouts outside the door,
Daddy! Daddy poopy! peee yeeeeeeeeeew.

kepp
04-24-2007, 01:06 PM
So...you know how you can catch the flu over the phone? I had to run to the crapper immediately after reading this.

chasedude
04-24-2007, 03:10 PM
Now Iowanian, if you can wipe all that up while only using one square... you'd make Ms. Crow one happy woman!

Iowanian
04-24-2007, 03:13 PM
Funny.

I actually started a final verse on that very subject, but ran out of time and creative spirit.

Iowanian
06-28-2007, 10:39 AM
Sometimes life is funny
In the way our paths will cross.
Two men in adjoining crappers
Only One can be the boss.

Dualing crapping banjos
an orafactory fury they unleash
just then in walk some people
Unprepared for this stink beast.

Awkward shuffles all around
I hear an old man mutter, underneath his breath.
"how'd we get so lucky?,
better check those stalls for death".

Iowanian
12-25-2007, 10:06 PM
3 constipated days of frenzied eating
my friends I cannot lie.
When its time to drop the bricks I'm building
this poster might just die.

2 girls and their cup have nothing
their time is over, they can suck it.
The hottest coming interweb craze?
1 Io-wanian, 1 bucket?

So, good night old Kris Kringle
Another Year until I see ya.
If I've been a good Boy this year
I'll wake up with Diarhea.

alanm
12-25-2007, 11:55 PM
Merry Christmas Iowanian. You are a Poets poet. :thumb:

Iowanian
01-08-2009, 10:51 PM
Arrowhead toilet has been clogged
for nearly 20 seasons
'The team is almost there'
among too many infuriating reasons.

Now Clark Hunt's hand is on the handle
of the Arrowhead American Standard Throne
He finally flushed our own hot-carl
But he's not quite yet alone.

An unsinking floating cheerio
our desires Herm Edwards Will not heed
Soon a brand new GM
will bring the exlax that we need.

Flustrated as he's swirling
His 3 year streaks left in the bowl
A new hope for Playoff glory
A Chief fans re-inspired Goal.

The Stench of Carl Peterson
wafting through the air
A final spray of glade's new fragrance
Will end This Kansas City fan's dispair.

Cornstock
01-08-2009, 11:50 PM
As a new guy I hadnt read all of your previous works, but A+ job on those and this new one as well.

Guru
01-08-2009, 11:52 PM
Geez, back from the grave this thread is.

Fairplay
01-09-2009, 06:38 AM
The last sentence of the poem makes it all worthwhile.

Chief Henry
01-09-2009, 08:44 AM
Iowanain,

When you get published (its only a mater of time btw) I want your autograph.
What will your book cover look like ?

Iowanian
11-02-2009, 02:22 PM
forgive me bumping an old thread to share a moment too perfect to not share.


By poorly engineered design, by office bathroom shares a wall with the desk of the adjacent office secretary. I knew it was a bad arrangement during my first day's visit when I could hear her stapling papers.

Today, we're both loners in our respective suites.

Irony? Perfect Timing? Cosmic intervention? You be the judge.

As I take my seat for an emergency evacuation, as I make the necessary adjustments, as quietly as possible, I hear it. She's beginning to hum, then mumble and now breaking out in song. As I'm beginning to do work...it becomes clearer and clearer, louder and louder what she is singing.

pffffffft.
"nanana na...nanana nana hey hey hey....goooooooood byeeeeee"

pfft
"nanana na....nanana na na hey hey hey...gooooood bye"

It varies in tone....from her attempt at Barry White....to what must have been a boy band rendition...ending in an Operaesque crescendo......

It hit the lever for the final "GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD BYE"....and it stops.

I think the reality of the irony of this moment has begun to sink in on both sides of the wall.

Bunit
11-02-2009, 03:30 PM
ROFLROFLROFLROFLIn a meeting, Up in front,
A gurgle happens in my gut.
Sensation growing, moving down
Please Oh Please, no Noise of Brown.

Pinching cheeks with all my might
Hope to God the Seals' tight.
If it happens, and my Crack gets tacky
I'm so fooked...My pants, light khaki.

Presentation, finish quick
The smell escapes, makes people sick.
No I can't take any questions
Must go deal with Indigestion.

Throwing People out of my way,
they'll be sorry if I stay.
Run for bathroom Doing fine,
Grab A stall, thank God no Line.

Explosion Happens, volume triples
Did Crapnel chunks just hit my nipple?
I made it through, and tamed this beast
Hold my Breath and Sigh Relief.

Into room They come,
as Toilet Drains,
As I proudly walk, the walk of Shame.

ROFL:clap: gracias dude, dat be some funny ass shit right there

Iowanian
07-06-2011, 04:04 PM
A young man with special needs
visits me on friday mornings.
But his last 3 trips to see me
should have come with a warning.

We talk about life and women,
and share a couple jokes.
but lately that boy's farting
makes me gag and choke.

The crapper in my office
is about 10 feet away
and lately when he's leaving
he decides to drop in to play.

I must admire his effort
as he talks himself through the trial,
but then he doesn't flush and leaves
and man that crap is vile.

I'm not sure what gets me more;
the devils tower of duke,
or leaving the bathroom door open
that makes me want to puke.

His visits make me happy
I relearn topics I've forgotten
but glade doesnt' make a fragrance
to tame that feller's rotten.

Rausch
07-06-2011, 04:15 PM
A young man with special needs
visits me on friday mornings.
But his last 3 trips to see me
should have come with a warning.

We talk about life and women,
and share a couple jokes.
but lately that boy's farting
makes me gag and choke.

The crapper in my office
is about 10 feet away
and lately when he's leaving
he decides to drop in to play.

I must admire his effort
as he talks himself through the trial,
but then he doesn't flush and leaves
and man that crap is vile.

I'm not sure what gets me more;
the devils tower of duke,
or leaving the bathroom door open
that makes me want to puke.

His visits make me happy
I relearn topics I've forgotten
but glade doesnt' make a fragrance
to tame that feller's rotten.

Be not afraid of greatness: some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon them in the late morn when
the planet deems their words are due...

KurtCobain
07-06-2011, 04:17 PM
I work with the elderly,
clean up their messes and such,
and then this woman name beverly,
she came on to me just a little too much.

You see, I try to be nice,
I give them all hugs at the door,
but those hugs no longer suffice,
now they want so much more.

She asks me why I wear so much clothes,
I ask her why she's so damn old.

She tells me we could be together for life,
I tell her I got better things to do till five.

tooge
07-06-2011, 04:18 PM
Im reading it to Cake....
He's going the distance.
He's going forrrrr speeeed.....

Rausch
07-06-2011, 04:19 PM
I work with the elderly,
clean up their messes and such,
and then this woman name beverly,
she came on to me just a little too much.

You see, I try to be nice,
I give them all hugs at the door,
but those hugs no longer suffice,
now they want so much more.

She asks me why I wear so much clothes,
I ask her why she's so damn old.

She tells me we could be together for life,
I tell her I got better things to do till five.

...