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dirk digler
03-11-2005, 07:59 AM
There is some hope for us older men. Man what a lucky guy or is she just a slut?

http://www.philly.com/mld/philly/entertainment/gossip/11107026.htm

SAY WHAT, Willis?

The New York Post's Page Six reports that 50-year-old "Hostage" star Bruce Willis got some action of the 18-year-old Lindsay Lohan kind after a recent screening of his new movie adaptation of Robert Crais' way-better book.

At an after-after-party at L.A.'s Peninsula Hotel early Wednesday, Bruce and Lindsay enjoyed a serious canoodling session.

"At one point, Bruce had Lindsay's pants down far enough to reveal a tattoo that said 'La Bella Vista' (The Beautiful View) on her right cheek," says Page Six's source.

Willis (whose daughter Rumer is 16), friends and Lindsay eventually took the party up to his suite.

50? 18? Willis must really want to Die Hard.

• Now that Lindsay has hooked up with Bruce - or not - she has no reason to be peeved that ex-boyfriend Wilmer Valderrama is chummy with Ashlee Simpson.

Ashlee, 20, follows in the teen-pop footsteps of Lindsay and Wilmer's original cradle squeeze, Mandy Moore.

So not only are 25-year-old Wilmer's girls getting older, they're getting less talented.

Always searching for relationship drama, the Star reports Wilmer and Ashlee are trying to keep it quiet because Ashlee fell for Wilmer when she tried to reunite him with Lindsay.

You know, before home room, after algebra, outside the cafeteria.

"Ashlee knew how much Lindsay still cared for Wilmer, so she volunteered to try to get them back together," says a source close enough to Ashlee to know, but not so close that she won't give her a shiv in the back. "But the plan backfired. And now Ashlee has the hots for Wilmer and Lindsay is freaking out that the woman she trusted is seeing him herself!"

It's that kind of freaking out that leads teenage girls to grope with 50-year-old men in L.A. hotels.

the Talking Can
03-11-2005, 08:01 AM
is that legal?

dirk digler
03-11-2005, 08:02 AM
is that legal?

She is 19 so yes. I still can't believe it.

Count Alex's Wins
03-11-2005, 08:03 AM
****ing awesome! ROFL

the Talking Can
03-11-2005, 08:04 AM
he's got a 16 year old daughter and he's nailing 18 year olds....that's creepy

dirk digler
03-11-2005, 08:05 AM
I love this part

Bruce had Lindsay's pants down far enough to reveal a tattoo that said 'La Bella Vista' (The Beautiful View)

I bet it is a beautiful view. Damn. :hump:

Baby Lee
03-11-2005, 08:08 AM
Good on him. It was sad to see Mr. Action star at premieres, escorting the daughters in the background, while Demi and Ashton shared 'just f*cked' glances in the foreground.

Baby Lee
03-11-2005, 08:12 AM
I love this part

Bruce had Lindsay's pants down far enough to reveal a tattoo that said 'La Bella Vista' (The Beautiful View)

I bet it is a beautiful view. Damn. :hump:
That's the line that has me thinking some of this story is overcooked.

WTF is scandalous about showing off tattoos? Happens every day in a million bars across the nation without leading any further [though sometimes it is a prelude]. It's not like he's doing her doggy style there in the restaurant or something.

ROYC75
03-11-2005, 08:22 AM
Soon their storys will be , just showing off each others tatoos.

RedNFeisty
03-11-2005, 08:26 AM
He had Alisha Klass a few years back as well. Some may not find her to be a great catch, but that is only because they haven't seen her in action!! If Demi should have been jealous of any relationship, it should have been that one!

dirk digler
03-11-2005, 08:35 AM
That's the line that has me thinking some of this story is overcooked.

WTF is scandalous about showing off tattoos? Happens every day in a million bars across the nation without leading any further [though sometimes it is a prelude]. It's not like he's doing her doggy style there in the restaurant or something.

From what I have heard on the radio this morning they were doing more than showing tattos.

Baby Lee
03-11-2005, 08:37 AM
From what I have heard on the radio this morning they were doing more than showing tattos.
Not saying they weren't. Just that, if you make showing tattoos the centerpiece of the article, it puts the stench of overcooking on it.

Same thing with 'canoodling' which could stand for anything from chuckling over drinks to stuffing each other's tongues down the other's throats.

KcMizzou
03-11-2005, 08:40 AM
Not saying they weren't. Just that, if you make showing tattoos the centerpiece of the article, it puts the stench of overcooking on it.
Not only that, but the radio station (610) just said that the source was retracting the story. An overzealous gossip columnist, I guess...

booger
03-11-2005, 08:40 AM
He had Alisha Klass a few years back as well. Some may not find her to be a great catch, but that is only because they haven't seen her in action!! If Demi should have been jealous of any relationship, it should have been that one!
Alisha Klass the porn star?

RedNFeisty
03-11-2005, 08:41 AM
Alisha Klass the porn star?

That would be her.

Frazod
03-11-2005, 08:43 AM
Good on him. It was sad to see Mr. Action star at premieres, escorting the daughters in the background, while Demi and Ashton shared 'just f*cked' glances in the foreground.

Hell yes. Go Bruce! :thumb:

dirk digler
03-11-2005, 08:44 AM
Not saying they weren't. Just that, if you make showing tattoos the centerpiece of the article, it puts the stench of overcooking on it.

Same thing with 'canoodling' which could stand for anything from chuckling over drinks to stuffing each other's tongues down the other's throats.

True I just find it interesting and damn I am jealous if it is true.

dirk digler
03-11-2005, 08:44 AM
Not only that, but the radio station (610) just said that the source was retracting the story. An overzealous gossip columnist, I guess...

Damn... :banghead:

booger
03-11-2005, 08:45 AM
That would be her.

What a lucky bastard. I'm not really gaga over every porn star, but that chick can really take it in the...........


Let's just say I've seen a few of her anal scenes.

not that anyone wanted to hear that. :)

dirk digler
03-11-2005, 08:49 AM
Now that I think about I bet their publicists are really trying to squash this story before it explodes. That is how Hollywood works. They will give that reporter exclusive access if he retracts the story.

dirk digler
03-11-2005, 08:49 AM
What a lucky bastard. I'm not really gaga over every porn star, but that chick can really take it in the...........


Let's just say I've seen a few of her anal scenes.

not that anyone wanted to hear that. :)

This post is worthless without pics.

booger
03-11-2005, 08:51 AM
This post is worthless without pics.
:)

better google it. :thumb:

Saggysack
03-11-2005, 08:52 AM
Good on him. It was sad to see Mr. Action star at premieres, escorting the daughters in the background, while Demi and Ashton shared 'just f*cked' glances in the foreground.

Is that what you saw? I thought his shit eating grin said, "I'm still hittin it".

Baby Lee
03-11-2005, 08:54 AM
Is that what you saw? I thought his shit eating grin said, "I'm still hittin it".
Yeah, but now he's standing in line.

siberian khatru
03-11-2005, 08:55 AM
Why not me, Lord? Why not me? :deevee:

Pezman
03-11-2005, 08:55 AM
God she is an overrated piece of trash and a total trainwreck at 19... She already looks 30. She'll be hitting the wall very soon methinks.

Now, if it was any other hot 19 year old chick I'd be impressed but methinks for Bruce, getting that skank as a notch on his bedpost would be a highlight barely worth the time. That chick's legs are open more than Tara Reid's boobs escape from her dresses

RedNFeisty
03-11-2005, 08:55 AM
What a lucky bastard. I'm not really gaga over every porn star, but that chick can really take it in the...........


Let's just say I've seen a few of her anal scenes.

not that anyone wanted to hear that. :)

:thumb:

Baby Lee
03-11-2005, 08:56 AM
God she is an overrated piece of trash and a total trainwreck at 19... She already looks 30. She'll be hitting the wall very soon methinks.
Does Titus archive NFB predictions?

Baby Lee
03-11-2005, 08:57 AM
:thumb:
What's the thumb for? :eek:

dirk digler
03-11-2005, 08:58 AM
Why not me, Lord? Why not me? :deevee:

That is what I am saying.

RedNFeisty
03-11-2005, 08:59 AM
What's the thumb for? :eek:

Agreement

Saggysack
03-11-2005, 08:59 AM
Yeah, but now he's standing in line.

Eh, sounds like he was in the return/exchange line.

Kerberos
03-11-2005, 09:00 AM
WTF: You gotta sign up to see anything or is it just me ????

:cuss:

.

ROYC75
03-11-2005, 09:00 AM
Bruce Willis aka Juan Ponce de Leon ? :hmmm:

Lindsey aka Fountain of youth ? :hmmm:


50 / 18 ?

You go Bruce.... I mean Ponce


( Bruce is leading the revolution for all of us old basturds ! ) :clap:

Baby Lee
03-11-2005, 09:06 AM
Agreement
For the humor impaired, RNF signalled :thumb: in response to a post on 'muddy love.'

RedNFeisty
03-11-2005, 09:07 AM
For the humor impaired, RNF signalled :thumb: in response to a post on 'muddy love.'


Trying to say there is something wrong with that!?! :harumph:


:)

Baby Lee
03-11-2005, 09:09 AM
Trying to say there is something wrong with that!?! :harumph:


:)
Grab some coffee, . . . let the caffeine soak in, . . . and ponder the possibility that a thumb might be used for something other than 'agreement' in situations such as those.

booger
03-11-2005, 09:14 AM
Grab some coffee, . . . let the caffeine soak in, . . . and ponder the possibility that a thumb might be used for something other than 'agreement' in situations such as those.
ROFL

exit only.

dirk digler
03-11-2005, 09:37 AM
Grab some coffee, . . . let the caffeine soak in, . . . and ponder the possibility that a thumb might be used for something other than 'agreement' in situations such as those.

Like what do you know from personal experience.... :p

Phobia
03-11-2005, 12:18 PM
God she is an overrated piece of trash and a total trainwreck at 19... She already looks 30. She'll be hitting the wall very soon methinks.

Now, if it was any other hot 19 year old chick I'd be impressed but methinks for Bruce, getting that skank as a notch on his bedpost would be a highlight barely worth the time. That chick's legs are open more than Tara Reid's boobs escape from her dresses

Agreed. I don't see what all the fuss is about. Her agent deserves every penny they're getting and then some. That broad is nothing special and this chick is getting the Nichole Kidman superstar treatment.

David.
03-11-2005, 12:31 PM
she's not that hot...

I'd do her, but I see hotter girls all the time.

Sure-Oz
03-11-2005, 12:40 PM
Bruce willis gets all types of ass of all ages.

KcMizzou
03-11-2005, 12:44 PM
Ashlee, 20, follows in the teen-pop footsteps of Lindsay and Wilmer's original cradle squeeze, Mandy Moore.

So not only are 25-year-old Wilmer's girls getting older, they're getting less talented. ROFL ouch.

BIG_DADDY
03-11-2005, 12:46 PM
Gotta love Bruce, he still has game.

siberian khatru
03-11-2005, 12:49 PM
I'm gonna be pissed if I read that William Shatner's boinking Kirsten Dunst.

Tribal Warfare
03-11-2005, 01:26 PM
Bruce Willis is pimpin pimpin pimpin :Pimp:

RedNFeisty
03-11-2005, 01:43 PM
Gotta love Bruce, he still has game.

He still has sex appeal!

Mr. Kotter
03-11-2005, 01:46 PM
****ing awesome! ROFL

You got your eye on Bruce too, do ya?

Rausch
03-11-2005, 01:48 PM
He had Alisha Klass a few years back as well.

It's official, I hate the b@st@rd...

Chan93lx50
03-11-2005, 02:00 PM
Demi Moore Robbed the cradle so why cannot Bruce!

What a fuggin stud! I am jealous

ENDelt260
03-11-2005, 02:07 PM
So not only are 25-year-old Wilmer's girls getting older, they're getting less talented.

ROFL

Oh, and go Bruce. Hell, if I'm rich when I'm 50 I'll definitely be banging 18 year olds with nice cans. Even if I'm not rich, I'll try... I just imagine I'll be less successful.

ENDelt260
03-11-2005, 02:08 PM
Man what a lucky guy or is she just a slut?

All women are whores.

ENDelt260
03-11-2005, 02:12 PM
Agreed. I don't see what all the fuss is about. Her agent deserves every penny they're getting and then some. That broad is nothing special and this chick is getting the Nichole Kidman superstar treatment.
And Nicole Kidman is "something special"?

vailpass
03-11-2005, 02:22 PM
I had no idea who Alisha Klass was so I ran a google image search (unfiltered).
Oh my. A lot of pictures that looked like roast beef sandwiches.

keg in kc
03-11-2005, 02:24 PM
Lindsay ain't really my type, but my curious mind does wonder if dirty ol' Bruce has taught Lindsay all the anal tricks he doubtless learned from Alicia. :hmmm:


Not that, I, uhh, know who Alicia Klass is, or anything.

Count Alex's Wins
03-11-2005, 02:25 PM
And Nicole Kidman is "something special"?

Uh, yes.

dirk digler
03-11-2005, 02:25 PM
And Nicole Kidman is "something special"?

I don't find her all that attractive. Don't get me wrong I would hit it but she is not that special.

Lindsay has way better boobs. I am a big boobs guy.

dirk digler
03-11-2005, 02:26 PM
Uh, yes.

Damn I can't tell her skin from that shirt. She needs a tan.

Count Alex's Wins
03-11-2005, 02:27 PM
I don't find her all that attractive. Don't get me wrong I would hit it but she is not that special.

Dude, COME ON. She is GORGEOUS.

keg in kc
03-11-2005, 02:28 PM
Never been much of a Nicole Kidman fan. Which is kind of odd, because I prefer thinner women and Brit accents are awesome.

Count Alex's Wins
03-11-2005, 02:28 PM
Damn I can't tell her skin from that shirt. She needs a tan.

Redheads have naturally pale skin. I like it. It's a hell of a lot sexier than a fake-ass tan that looks like it was baked on in a tandoori oven.

ENDelt260
03-11-2005, 02:28 PM
I don't find her all that attractive. Don't get me wrong I would hit it but she is not that special.

Lindsay has way better boobs. I am a big boobs guy.

Exactly. I'm failing to see the distinction Phil's trying to draw here. Both are attractive actresses. Main difference I see is Lohan is younger and has nicer tits. What makes Kidman more deserving of tabloid attention?

A side note... I wouldn't even know who Lindsay Lohan is if it weren't for the Planet. I haven't seen a single thing she's been in.

Rausch
03-11-2005, 02:28 PM
Lindsay ain't really my type-

Yeah. OOOoook.....

dirk digler
03-11-2005, 02:28 PM
Dude, COME ON. She is GORGEOUS.

She's alright but I don't know I can't explain it she just isn't all that for me.

Count Alex's Wins
03-11-2005, 02:30 PM
What makes Kidman more deserving of tabloid attention?

Maybe the fact that she's actually beautiful? I went to high school with 20 chicks that looked like Lindsay Lohan. She'd be nothing if she hadn't gotten a boob job.

keg in kc
03-11-2005, 02:31 PM
Yeah. OOOoook.....What can I say, I'm not big on scanky girls with pneumatic body parts. I'll take the waif look over the pornstar build. Although true happiness lies somewhere in between.

dirk digler
03-11-2005, 02:31 PM
Maybe the fact that she's actually beautiful? I went to high school with 20 chicks that looked like Lindsay Lohan. She'd be nothing if she hadn't gotten a boob job.

Well there you go then. She has way better boobs than most 19 yrs old.

Count Alex's Wins
03-11-2005, 02:32 PM
Well there you go then. She has way better boobs than most 19 yrs old.

My god, she's a prize catch! She has tits! :rolleyes:

dirk digler
03-11-2005, 02:32 PM
Plus Lindsay is way better looking than Princess Leia.

ENDelt260
03-11-2005, 02:32 PM
She'd be nothing if she hadn't gotten a boob job.

Haha. You sound like a jealous bitch.

Count Alex's Wins
03-11-2005, 02:33 PM
Plus Lindsay is way better looking than Princess Leia.

NOW YOU HAVE DONE CROSSED THE LINE, DIRK! :cuss:

Count Alex's Wins
03-11-2005, 02:33 PM
Haha. You sound like a jealous bitch.

ROFL

keg in kc
03-11-2005, 02:33 PM
A side note... I wouldn't even know who Lindsay Lohan is if it weren't for the Planet. I haven't seen a single thing she's been in.Yeah, right, like you don't sit in an open trenchcoat watching The Parent Trap, Freaky Friday and Mean Girls over and over and over every night, you sicko.





(I actually had to google her to find movie names)

dirk digler
03-11-2005, 02:34 PM
My god, she's a prize catch! She has tits! :rolleyes:

I didn't say she's a prize catch. My idea of a prize catch is someone like Halle Berry or Charlize Theron.

ENDelt260
03-11-2005, 02:34 PM
(I actually had to google her to find movie names)

Next time try us.imdb.com

keg in kc
03-11-2005, 02:35 PM
Next time try us.imdb.comThat's where I ended up.

ENDelt260
03-11-2005, 02:35 PM
I didn't say she's a prize catch. My idea of a prize catch is someone like Halle Berry or Charlize Theron.
Yeah... Halle Barry would be nice.... mmmmm

Course, I'm not letting her drive me home from the bar.

Count Alex's Wins
03-11-2005, 02:36 PM
I didn't say she's a prize catch. My idea of a prize catch is someone like Halle Berry or Charlize Theron.

" Originally Posted by ENDelt260
And Nicole Kidman is "something special"?

I don't find her all that attractive. Don't get me wrong I would hit it but she is not that special.

Lindsay has way better boobs. I am a big boobs guy."

So...Lohan or Berry/Theron?

Count Alex's Wins
03-11-2005, 02:36 PM
Course, I'm not letting her drive me home from the bar.

Racist!

ENDelt260
03-11-2005, 02:37 PM
Racist!
Uh, what?

dirk digler
03-11-2005, 02:39 PM
" Originally Posted by ENDelt260
And Nicole Kidman is "something special"?

I don't find her all that attractive. Don't get me wrong I would hit it but she is not that special.

Lindsay has way better boobs. I am a big boobs guy."

So...Lohan or Berry/Theron?

Berry has nice boobs and Theron not so nice but damn she is hot.

Soupnazi
03-11-2005, 02:39 PM
Charlize Theron-now we're talking. She's an absolute knockout.

I've always though Kidman looks like a vampire.

dirk digler
03-11-2005, 02:39 PM
Yeah... Halle Barry would be nice.... mmmmm

Course, I'm not letting her drive me home from the bar.

ROFL

Count Alex's Wins
03-11-2005, 02:40 PM
I've always though Kidman looks like a vampire.

mmmmmm...sexy vampire....

dirk digler
03-11-2005, 02:40 PM
Charlize Theron-now we're talking. She's an absolute knockout.

I've always though Kidman looks like a vampire.

No kidding she needs some skin color or fake tan shit.

Count Alex's Wins
03-11-2005, 02:41 PM
No kidding she needs some skin color or fake tan shit.

You are unbelievable. :shake:

dirk digler
03-11-2005, 02:41 PM
mmmmmm...sexy vampire....

So is Kidman better looking than Princess Leia?

keg in kc
03-11-2005, 02:42 PM
My newest infatuation is Mia Maestro, currently making Jennifer Garner look all but homely on Alias.

Count Alex's Wins
03-11-2005, 02:42 PM
So is Kidman better looking than Princess Leia?

Yes, of course.

dirk digler
03-11-2005, 02:43 PM
Yes, of course.

So if it came down to Princess Leia or Kidman to die which one would you save?

Count Alex's Wins
03-11-2005, 02:43 PM
I think I'm going to throw Nicole Kidman in my sig and avatar for a month.

Rausch
03-11-2005, 02:43 PM
What can I say, I'm not big on scanky girls with pneumatic body parts. I'll take the waif look over the pornstar build.

Yuck.

We'll have to both remember to NEVER set the other person up on a blind date, unless it's us that's blind...

Here ya go... (http://www.facetheissue.com/community/showthread.php?t=481)

Count Alex's Wins
03-11-2005, 02:43 PM
So if it came down to Princess Leia or Kidman to die which one would you save?

Which movie?

dirk digler
03-11-2005, 02:45 PM
My newest infatuation is Mia Maestro, currently making Jennifer Garner look all but homely on Alias.

Oh yeah! :hump:

dirk digler
03-11-2005, 02:45 PM
Which movie?

The original 3.

ENDelt260
03-11-2005, 02:46 PM
Yuck.

We'll have to both remember to NEVER set the other person up on a blind date, unless it's us that's blind...

Here ya go... (http://www.facetheissue.com/community/showthread.php?t=481)
Why the hell do you have that link?

Count Alex's Wins
03-11-2005, 02:47 PM
The original 3.

Duh. Which one of the original three?

keg in kc
03-11-2005, 02:47 PM
Yuck.

We'll have to both remember to NEVER set the other person up on a blind date, unless it's us that's blind...Waif is probably the wrong way to describe it, I'm not into the concentration camp look. Let's just say the pornstar physique doesn't do much for me, I prefer an athletic build. Which is ironic, since I weigh about eleventy billion pounds. Anyway, I prefer natural over surgically enhanced, that's the main point. Although as a woman gets older, I don't have a problem with a little tightening here or there to fight gravity. Because, well, I'm a pig.

Oh, hell, I don't think I'd ever do a blind date, much less submit you to one.

dirk digler
03-11-2005, 02:48 PM
Duh. Which one of the original three?

Doesn't matter you pick.

Rausch
03-11-2005, 02:49 PM
Why the hell do you have that link?

I was looking for a pic to post with "so THIS is your dream girl?"

I couldn't find anything all that funny...

Soupnazi
03-11-2005, 02:49 PM
Oh, hell, I don't think I'd ever do a blind date, much less submit you to one.

I met my wife on a blind date. Go figure :shrug:

dirk digler
03-11-2005, 02:50 PM
Waif is probably the wrong way to describe it, I'm not into the concentration camp look. Let's just say the pornstar physique doesn't do much for me, I prefer an athletic build. Which is ironic, since I weigh about eleventy billion pounds. Anyway, I prefer natural over surgically enhanced, that's the main point. Although as a woman gets older, I don't have a problem with a little tightening here or there to fight gravity. Because, well, I'm a pig.

Oh, hell, I don't think I'd ever do a blind date, much less submit you to one.

So I take it your not into the Olsen twins?

keg in kc
03-11-2005, 02:50 PM
There wasn't a link when I read your post originally. Judging by delt's response to it, I, uh, don't think I'm gonna check it out.

keg in kc
03-11-2005, 02:51 PM
So I take it your not into the Olsen twins?Nooope.


*Brian runs in and yells, "BLASPHEMY!"*

dirk digler
03-11-2005, 02:54 PM
Nooope.


*Brian runs in and yells, "BLASPHEMY!"*

Is this true Brian? You like the anorexic look? How about Calista Flockhart? Now that is one hot chick.

ENDelt260
03-11-2005, 02:58 PM
Is this true Brian? You like the anorexic look?

Sure, what the hell, I'll poke a skinny broad. I ain't picky.

My interest in the Olsen twins is more about the novelty than their actual looks. I've seen some pics where they looked downright sickly. I'd be sure to take 'em out to nice dinner at the Country Buffet before our incestual menage a trois.

In college I nailed a broad so thin I could count her ribs while I was pokin' her. A guy in the house started giving me shit about f*cking a crack whore. The same dude who, of course, usually gave me shit about pokin' fat broads. I just couldn't win.

Count Alex's Wins
03-11-2005, 03:01 PM
Doesn't matter you pick.

Actually I'm full of shit.

"I'm GoChiefs, I'm here to rescue you!"

"You're who?"

"I'm here with Ben Kenobi! I've got your R2 unit!"

Soupnazi
03-11-2005, 03:02 PM
mmmmmm...sexy vampire....

I guess you and Tom Cruise have something else in common...besides a case of latent homosexuality.

(Sorry man, I had to do it. It was right in front of me. Couldn't resist)

keg in kc
03-11-2005, 03:03 PM
Sure, what the hell, I'll poke a skinny broad. I ain't picky.Ever stacked a skinny chick on top of a fat broad? Inquiring minds want to know. And if you did, did you at any point lose the thin in the thick's rolls?

Count Alex's Wins
03-11-2005, 03:04 PM
I guess you and Tom Cruise have something else in common...besides a case of latent homosexuality.

(Sorry man, I had to do it. It was right in front of me. Couldn't resist)

I can't believe he dumped her.

ENDelt260
03-11-2005, 03:05 PM
Ever stacked a skinny chick on top of a fat broad? Inquiring minds want to know. And if you did, did you at any point lose the thin in the thick's rolls?
No, but I'll be sure to give that a try and report the results.

Soupnazi
03-11-2005, 03:05 PM
Ever stacked a skinny chick on top of a fat broad? Inquiring minds want to know. And if you did, did you at any point lose the thin in the thick's rolls?

No, the preferable way to go is put the skinny chick under the fat one. You get more moaning and grunting noises that way.

keg in kc
03-11-2005, 03:06 PM
No, but I'll be sure to give that a try and report the results.Purely in the interest of science, of course.

dirk digler
03-11-2005, 03:06 PM
Sure, what the hell, I'll poke a skinny broad. I ain't picky.

My interest in the Olsen twins is more about the novelty than their actual looks. I've seen some pics where they looked downright sickly. I'd be sure to take 'em out to nice dinner at the Country Buffet before our incestual menage a trois.

In college I nailed a broad so thin I could count her ribs while I was pokin' her. A guy in the house started giving me shit about f*cking a crack whore. The same dude who, of course, usually gave me shit about pokin' fat broads. I just couldn't win.

ROFL

Hey nothing wrong with fat chicks I have done a few myself after a heavy night of drinking. I have never done a crack whore though. I like some meat on my women.

keg in kc
03-11-2005, 03:08 PM
No, the preferable way to go is put the skinny chick under the fat one. You get more moaning and grunting noises that way.Well, I hate to brag, but moaning and grunting noises are never a problem for me. I mean, sometimes my neighbors complain, it gets so loud.






I usually turn my speakers down before that happens, though.

dirk digler
03-11-2005, 03:08 PM
I can't believe he dumped her.

Nice sig. Why don't you put Chewbacca in there as well. They look about the same.

ENDelt260
03-11-2005, 03:08 PM
Purely in the interest of science, of course.
Of course.

Count Alex's Wins
03-11-2005, 03:09 PM
Nice sig. Why don't you put Chewbacca in there as well. They look about the same.

:shake:

The one time I REALLY want to use neg rep...

dirk digler
03-11-2005, 03:09 PM
Well, I hate to brag, but moaning and grunting noises are never a problem for me. I mean, sometimes my neighbors complain, it gets so loud.






I usually turn my speakers down before that happens, though.


Damn you make noises when you masterbate? :p

ENDelt260
03-11-2005, 03:10 PM
I like some meat on my women.

Me, too. But, pussy's pussy.

dirk digler
03-11-2005, 03:10 PM
:shake:

The one time I REALLY want to use neg rep...

ROFL

keg in kc
03-11-2005, 03:12 PM
Damn you make noises when you masterbate? I said I turn my speakers down, einstein. If I was worried about the noise I was making, don'cha think I'd turn 'em....up.

Although...

Let's not go there.

ENDelt260
03-11-2005, 03:13 PM
Let's not go there.

Indeed. An in-depth discussion of your masturbation habits is very much unnecessary.

keg in kc
03-11-2005, 03:14 PM
Indeed. An in-depth discussion of your masturbation habits is very much unnecessary.How the hell did you know I dress up like a nun and -- uhm, that was out loud again, wasn't it. Dammit, dammit, dammit.

The Rick
03-11-2005, 03:20 PM
This thread reminds me of something I heard on the local sports talk radio station here yesterday. Every Thursday is known as "Would You Rather Thursday". Basically, when callers call in to talk about stuff, they also get to answer the list of questions for the day.

Here are some of yesterday's questions. What are YOUR answers?

WOULD YOU RATHER...

1) Tell your wife/significant other she's fat, or tell her she's ugly?

2) Be married to an ugly girl who wants sex every day, or be married to a beautiful girl who rarely wants it?

3) Defend O.J. Simpson in court or defend Michael Jackson in court?

4) Date a Sports Illustrated swimsuit model or a Victoria's Secret model?

Those are the only ones I can remember...

keg in kc
03-11-2005, 03:25 PM
1) Tell your wife/significant other she's fat, or tell her she's ugly?That's tough. I'm not big on fat or ugly, and I don't imagine myself marrying a woman that's either one. (resisting the urge to type "although I did once already"). I suppose if I had to pick one nasty name I'd throw at my slender, gorgeous wife during a fight, I'd call her fat, because it's less hurtful. I mean, fat can be changed, ugly's forever.2) Be married to an ugly girl who wants sex every day, or be married to a beautiful girl who rarely wants it?I vote for beautiful girl. Plus a mistress. Besides, the ugly girl who wants it every day will probably get it every day, whether I'm around or not.3) Defend O.J. Simpson in court or defend Michael Jackson in court?O.J. I mean, kids, for crissakes.4) Date a Sports Illustrated swimsuit model or a Victoria's Secret model?Aren't they, like, the same thing?

Count Alex's Wins
03-11-2005, 03:33 PM
1) Tell your wife/significant other she's fat, or tell her she's ugly?

Fat. Ugly is more permanent.

2) Be married to an ugly girl who wants sex every day, or be married to a beautiful girl who rarely wants it?

Beautiful.

3) Defend O.J. Simpson in court or defend Michael Jackson in court?

Jacko, just for the freakshow.

4) Date a Sports Illustrated swimsuit model or a Victoria's Secret model?

Victoria's Secret

.

ENDelt260
03-11-2005, 03:33 PM
1) Tell your wife/significant other she's fat, or tell her she's ugly?

Tell her she's both and leave the troglodyte.

2) Be married to an ugly girl who wants sex every day, or be married to a beautiful girl who rarely wants it?

Well, this is just silly.

3) Defend O.J. Simpson in court or defend Michael Jackson in court?

Eh, all OJ did was kill a whore.

4) Date a Sports Illustrated swimsuit model or a Victoria's Secret model?

Dating is for chumps. Sign me up for the threeway with the two of them.

dirk digler
03-11-2005, 03:36 PM
I said I turn my speakers down, einstein. If I was worried about the noise I was making, don'cha think I'd turn 'em....up.

Although...

Let's not go there.

hey sometimes people get turned on by the noise. But to each their own.

dirk digler
03-11-2005, 03:38 PM
Tell your wife/significant other she's fat, or tell her she's ugly?

1. Fat. I do already.

Be married to an ugly girl who wants sex every day, or be married to a beautiful girl who rarely wants it?

2. Beautiful. I couldn't get it up if she was ugly unless I was drunk or high.

Defend O.J. Simpson in court or defend Michael Jackson in court?
3. O.J.
Date a Sports Illustrated swimsuit model or a Victoria's Secret model?
4. Victoria Secret

keg in kc
03-11-2005, 03:40 PM
Beautiful. I couldn't get it up if she was ugly unless I drunk or high.Someone's going to say "Viagra and a paper bag".

Oh, wait, I guess I did.

dirk digler
03-11-2005, 03:42 PM
Someone's going to say "Viagra and a paper bag".

Oh, wait, I guess I did.

Hey now don't give away my secrets.

ENDelt260
03-11-2005, 03:43 PM
If she's ugly just f*ck her from behind and pretend she's her sister.

dirk digler
03-11-2005, 03:46 PM
If she's ugly just f*ck her from behind and pretend she's her sister.

What if she doesn't have a sister but has a brother? Do you think about her brother then?

Oh wait only gochiefs would do that.

Count Alex's Wins
03-11-2005, 03:47 PM
What if she doesn't have a sister but has a brother? Do you think about her brother then?

Oh wait only gochiefs would do that.

I'd just pretend she was Nicole Kidman.

dirk digler
03-11-2005, 03:49 PM
I'd just pretend she was Nicole Kidman.

No you wouldn't. You would be pretending she was Natalie Portman and you were Darth Vader.

Over-Head
03-11-2005, 03:49 PM
If she's ugly just f*ck her from behind and pretend she's her sister.
Then after a few mins, wisper real soft and low in her ear, that said sister was a better ride.

And hold on! :thumb:

ENDelt260
03-11-2005, 03:50 PM
What if she doesn't have a sister but has a brother? Do you think about her brother then?

I dunno... I've never been in that situation.

ENDelt260
03-11-2005, 03:51 PM
Then after a few mins, wisper real soft and low in her ear, that said sister was a better ride.

And hold on! :thumb:
I'm pretty sure one night in bed, while drunk of course, I told the gal I'm thinking of that I tended to pretend she was her sister.

I'm big on saying f*cked up shit to chicks to get a reaction.

keg in kc
03-11-2005, 03:51 PM
Then after a few mins, wisper real soft and low in her ear, that said sister was a better ride.Or you could always pull the classic 'so, what would you think about a threesome with your sister? She's great in bed" line.

Count Alex's Wins
03-11-2005, 03:53 PM
No you wouldn't. You would be pretending she was Natalie Portman and you were Darth Vader.

Well, I'm not picky.

dirk digler
03-11-2005, 03:53 PM
I'm pretty sure one night in bed, while drunk of course, I told the gal I'm thinking of that I tended to pretend she was her sister.

I'm big on saying f*cked up shit to chicks to get a reaction.

I don't know about all that. I would be afraid they would pull a Lorena Bobbit on me and I would wake up with my manhood gone.

dirk digler
03-11-2005, 03:53 PM
Well, I'm not picky.

So I hear.

ENDelt260
03-11-2005, 03:54 PM
I don't know about all that. I would be afraid they would pull a Lorena Bobbit on me and I would wake up with my manhood gone.
If a woman cut off my dick I'd beat her to death.

Count Alex's Wins
03-11-2005, 03:55 PM
If a woman cut off my dick I'd beat her to death.

You are in top form today. ROFL

Count Alex's Wins
03-11-2005, 03:56 PM
If a woman cut off my dick I'd beat her to death.

What about a man?

ENDelt260
03-11-2005, 03:57 PM
What about a man?
Why the hell would a man cut off my dick?

Count Alex's Wins
03-11-2005, 03:57 PM
If a woman cut off my dick I'd beat her to death.

With the severed dong?

keg in kc
03-11-2005, 03:57 PM
What about a man?What the f*ck do you think he'd do, kiss him on the lips and say "thank you for freeing me"?

Count Alex's Wins
03-11-2005, 03:57 PM
Why the hell would a man cut off my dick?

Try and remember who you're talking to, here...

dirk digler
03-11-2005, 03:58 PM
If a woman cut off my dick I'd beat her to death.

I would too after I found my dick and got it repaired.

keg in kc
03-11-2005, 03:58 PM
Why the hell would a man cut off my dick?You cut in front of him in line while you were looking for your next conquest at the buffet?

Count Alex's Wins
03-11-2005, 03:58 PM
What the f*ck do you think he'd do, kiss him on the lips and say "thank you for freeing me"?

Well, he was being so specific.

If a woman cut off my dick...

Count Alex's Wins
03-11-2005, 03:59 PM
I would too after I found my dick and got it repaired.

Just take it down to your local dick repair shop, eh?

dirk digler
03-11-2005, 03:59 PM
Try and remember who you're talking to, here...

That is what I was going to say.

dirk digler
03-11-2005, 04:01 PM
Just take it down to your local dick repair shop, eh?

Yep

Gochiefs dick repair shop

I will fix it, lick it and stick it back in.

keg in kc
03-11-2005, 04:02 PM
Not your best effort, there, dirk.

ENDelt260
03-11-2005, 04:03 PM
I once had a gal tell me she'd cut my balls off if I ever cheated on her.

She was so full of shit.

dirk digler
03-11-2005, 04:04 PM
Not your best effort, there, dirk.

I know but hey I tried.

Count Alex's Wins
03-11-2005, 04:04 PM
Yep

Gochiefs dick repair shop

I will fix it, lick it and stick it back in.

It's amazing what some spit and baling wire will do.

dirk digler
03-11-2005, 04:05 PM
I once had a gal tell me she'd cut my balls off if I ever cheated on her.

She was so full of shit.

Did you ever cheat on her?

Count Alex's Wins
03-11-2005, 04:05 PM
I once had a gal tell me she'd cut my balls off if I ever cheated on her.

She was so full of shit.

Yeah, after hearing that you'd never cheat on her.

keg in kc
03-11-2005, 04:05 PM
I once had a gal tell me she'd cut my balls off if I ever cheated on her.

She was so full of shit.The best is when a girl's like that with you, meanwhile she's out f*cking like half the men 18-45 in a 500-mile radius.

dirk digler
03-11-2005, 04:06 PM
It's amazing what some spit and baling wire will do.

Don't forget the lube big guy.

Count Alex's Wins
03-11-2005, 04:07 PM
Don't forget the lube big guy.

Lube to repair your dick?

Count Alex's Wins
03-11-2005, 04:07 PM
The best is when a girl's like that with you, meanwhile she's out f*cking like half the men 18-45 in a 500-mile radius.

Of course. She doesn't have any balls.

dirk digler
03-11-2005, 04:08 PM
Lube to repair your dick?

You don't think you are going to put wire on my dick without some lube do you? Freak.

ENDelt260
03-11-2005, 04:08 PM
Did you ever cheat on her?
The intended implication of the second sentence is that I both cheated on her and am still in posession of my balls.

dirk digler
03-11-2005, 04:09 PM
The intended implication of the second sentence is that I both cheated on her and am still in posession of my balls.

She was full of shit what a lying bitch.

Count Alex's Wins
03-11-2005, 04:09 PM
You don't think you are going to put wire on my dick without some lube do you? Freak.

If you don't like the service you can take your dick to another repair shop. Might want to hurry.

keg in kc
03-11-2005, 04:09 PM
Of course. She doesn't have any balls.You've apparently never encountered some of the "women" Brian brings home after a bender.

ENDelt260
03-11-2005, 04:09 PM
The best is when a girl's like that with you, meanwhile she's out f*cking like half the men 18-45 in a 500-mile radius.
Heh... yeah, this girl was quite the slut. I'm not sure who all she was f*cking while I was with her... but, on the plus side, my dick hasn't turned black and fallen off.

dirk digler
03-11-2005, 04:13 PM
If you don't like the service you can take your dick to another repair shop. Might want to hurry.

I don't and I will. I need someone who will be sensitive.

Count Alex's Wins
03-11-2005, 04:14 PM
You've apparently never encountered some of the "women" Brian brings home after a bender.

Chyna?

dirk digler
03-11-2005, 04:14 PM
Heh... yeah, this girl was quite the slut. I'm not sure who all she was f*cking while I was with her... but, on the plus side, my dick hasn't turned black and fallen off.

Lucky you.

keg in kc
03-11-2005, 04:15 PM
I don't and I will. I need someone who will be sensitive.I think you meant "I need thumone who will be thenthative."

dirk digler
03-11-2005, 04:16 PM
Chyna?

He was talking about you girlie.

keg in kc
03-11-2005, 04:16 PM
Chyna?Yet another name on the list of "porn I've seen that made me want to gouge my eyes out afterward".

dirk digler
03-11-2005, 04:16 PM
I think you meant "I need thumone who will be thenthative."

Exactly. Thanks Keg. :thumb:

Count Alex's Wins
03-11-2005, 04:17 PM
He was talking about you girlie.

Brian's never taken me home after a bender.

Count Alex's Wins
03-11-2005, 04:18 PM
Yet another name on the list of "porn I've seen that made me want to gouge my eyes out afterward".

I stopped watching her after five minutes on Howard Stern. I am thankful to have never seen her naked.

keg in kc
03-11-2005, 04:18 PM
I am thankful to have never seen her naked.Trust me, 'thankful' is an understatement.

dirk digler
03-11-2005, 04:23 PM
Brian's never taken me home after a bender.

Sorry my bad.

dirk digler
03-11-2005, 04:31 PM
I stopped watching her after five minutes on Howard Stern. I am thankful to have never seen her naked.

Here you go big guy...

Count Alex's Wins
03-11-2005, 04:33 PM
Here you go big guy...

http://chyna.celebsphotos.org/

I refuse to click that link.

dirk digler
03-11-2005, 04:35 PM
I refuse to click that link.

Don't make me add her to my sig line in all of her beauty.

dirk digler
03-11-2005, 04:40 PM
http://www.owow.com/RingsideWith/Chyna/Gallery-1/04.jpg

keg in kc
03-11-2005, 04:40 PM
Don't make me add her to my sig line in all of her beauty.The real shame is that you wouldn't be able to show shots from the video of her in all her sphincter-stretched glory.

dirk digler
03-11-2005, 04:43 PM
The real shame is that you wouldn't be able to show shots from the video of her in all her sphincter-stretched glory.

ROFL

Spinchter-stretched... ROFL ROFL ROFL

Oh crap that's funny and nasty at the same time.

Count Alex's Wins
03-11-2005, 04:46 PM
Apparently I'm not the only one with good taste here. I got a couple reps over Kidman. Suck it!

dirk digler
03-11-2005, 04:50 PM
Apparently I'm not the only one with good taste here. I got a couple reps over Kidman. Suck it!

No thanks.

Count Alex's Wins
03-11-2005, 04:53 PM
Nicole's gonna rip off your manhood, dirk.

dirk digler
03-11-2005, 04:54 PM
Nicole's gonna rip off your manhood, dirk.

I bet she could kick Nicole's ass.

http://www.owow.com/RingsideWith/Chyna/Gallery-2/23.jpg

Count Alex's Wins
03-11-2005, 04:55 PM
Gah!!! Ignore list!!!

dirk digler
03-11-2005, 04:56 PM
http://www.owow.com/RingsideWith/Chyna/Gallery-15/02.jpg

dirk digler
03-11-2005, 04:57 PM
Gah!!! Ignore list!!!

Quit being a pussy. You know you find her sexy.

Rausch
03-11-2005, 04:58 PM
I bet she could kick Nicole's ass.



Oh...my...god...

:Lin:

Baby Lee
03-11-2005, 04:58 PM
Leave it to gochiefs to turn a gossip thread into a chance for him to have a jerkoff chat with unsuspecting posters.

You guys do know he's typing with one, slippery as hell, hand?

dirk digler
03-11-2005, 04:59 PM
Leave it to gochiefs to turn a gossip thread into a chance for him to have a jerkoff chat with unsuspecting posters.

You guys do know he's typing with one, slippery as hell, hand?

He loves Chyna so he needs to see her everywhere.

dirk digler
03-11-2005, 05:00 PM
http://www.owow.com/RingsideWith/Chyna/Chyna-13/28.jpg

dirk digler
03-11-2005, 05:01 PM
http://www.owow.com/RingsideWith/Chyna/Chyna-12/28.jpg

keg in kc
03-11-2005, 05:10 PM
I will never have a hardon again. Thanks dirk. Those Chyna pictures have ruined me for life. No amount of therapy...

dirk digler
03-11-2005, 05:14 PM
I will never have a hardon again. Thanks dirk. Those Chyna pictures have ruined me for life. No amount of therapy...

Sorry keg, I was just trying to get gochiefs to realize his true love. My apologies.

Soupnazi
03-11-2005, 05:15 PM
My gawd she's hideous.

KC Kings
03-11-2005, 05:19 PM
This thread is worthless with pics.


I bet she could kick Nicole's ass.

http://www.owow.com/RingsideWith/Chyna/Gallery-2/23.jpg

keg in kc
03-11-2005, 05:25 PM
Jesus, dirk, I've been trying so hard to repress those memories of the few seconds of "One Night in Chyna" I saw by accident, scorching my retinas, and now you go and do this. You're an evil, evil man.

keg in kc
03-11-2005, 05:27 PM
Speaking of "One Night in Chyna", I found this. Made me laugh my ass off:


Chyna/Xpac Sex Video Review (http://www.lethalwrestling.com/opinions/news_content.php?fileName=893)

I am a human being. I have a healthy respect for the emotion known as fear. And believe you me, I am living in fear right now, as I am just minutes away from opening the Chyna/X-pac porn video for the very first time. I am going to watch it from beginning to end, and review it for you, the faithful Lethalwrestling readership.

I'm not a liar. If at any time, this video brings me anything that could be remotely compared to sexual arousal, I will let you know. I don't see it happening, but hey, you just never know.

So here I am sitting at my computer. I have an empty trash bucket by my side to catch any partially digested chicken fingers I may wretch up. I have also, in the interest of preparedness, purchased a small box of Kleenex (the super soft kind with lotion) in case I feel the need to whip out Little Norm for a few rounds of wrist wrestling. (Or maybe just to wipe the tears from my eyes; either/or, but probably not both).

In the interest of delaying the inevitable just a little bit longer, a little background: Chyna, as most of you probably know, is a man-faced, muscle-bound goon of a woman with enormously huge fake tits, a glaring speech impediment and no discernible talent in the ring or on the microphone. Yet Vince McMahon somehow managed to make her a star.

A debate as to whether she was a man or woman raged on for years until she posed nude for Playboy and proved conclusively once and for all that the magazine had indeed completely flushed any remaining shreds of integrity that it may have had right down the toilet.

I've seen the photos. They were supposed to invoke a Xena-esque style of eroticism, but instead, they kind of reminded me of a shaved ape with two WNBA basketballs chained to its chest. Little piece of absolutely worthless trivia for you: it was a link to these very Chyna photos that first brought me here to Lethal.

More background: Sean Waltman, aka X-pac, 6-pac, 1-2-3 Kid, Syxx, Choad-pac, et al, has been a perennial midcarder his entire life, and only managed to stay at that level due to being heavily protected by powerful backstage buddies like Shawn Michaels and Triple H. His fans will no doubt claim that he has managed a few memorable matches in his day, but I can’t seem to remember any of them, so **** him and anybody stupid enough to be his fan.

Unlike Chyna, I have never seen X-pac nude. I can honestly tell you that I have no desire to do so. Yet here I sit, with that accursed video staring back at me from my desktop, just waiting to be opened. You mother****ers better appreciate this.

Is there anything I can do to postpone this any longer? Laundry perhaps? Clean the cat’s litterbox? Castrate myself?

Very well. Time to double click and get this freakshow on the road. Sigh.

Holy shit. This thing is 57 minutes long? I can see myself making liberal use of the fast-forward button really soon.

We start with black and white video of Chyna in some kind of lingerie and robe ensemble asking X-pac if she should wear white or black. He requests black, and suddenly (thanks to the magic of semi-skilled video editing), she is wearing a dominatrix suit and snapping a belt at him.

BOOM BOOM BOOM. It’s a bad techno music intro peppered with quick shots of Chyna stripping, sucking, dancing, ****ing and sucking some more. Title flashes: “One Night in China” (take THAT wwe legal department!) staring Sean and Joanie, Edited by Johnny Fly, who I can only assume is Satan himself, releasing his final apocolype upon the Earth.

Cut to video footage tracking a plane flying to Hong Kong. Music that I’ve only ever heard before at the China Chef Take Out (best Cheese Won-tons in town, by the way) plays in the background.

Music continues to play, and there’s nary a Won-ton in sight. Apparently, we are now in China, on a bus. Hey look, it’s X-pac! He tells us that he’s the craziest mother****er we’ll ever meet in our entire life. To prove his point, he tells a mural of some Chinese ruler that my history teacher will be disappointed in me for being unable to identify to “suck it.” That’s crazy, man. Just crazy.

We are treated to more local flavor as X-pac talks to a local historian about the Ching Dynasty. Then some bitches in kimonos play big drums. So far, so good.

Uh oh. At the 3:30 we are treated to a hard cut to the black and white video of Chyna marching out of the bathroom in her dominatrix gear. I fear this will get ugly soon.

She keeps snapping a belt, while smoking a cigarette and showing off her man ass. I’m glad I ate an early dinner.

Camera is now stationary, and X-pac throws himself on the bed. Chyna begins to strip to music that I can’t identify. She wishes they had a disco ball. I, on the other hand, wish I had never agreed to recap this atrocity.

X-pac is holding the camera again. Chyna has a flashlight (in lieu of a disco ball) and is dancing. Now she straddles X-pac and takes his shirt off. She’s kissing his chest. Having seen more than my fair share of porn, I think I know where this is going.

I’ll give X-pac his props. He really knows how to hold a camera to get the best angle while making out with an ape.

The pants come off at the 9:00 mark and it’s X-PAC’S DICK! X-PAC’S DICK! X-PAC’S DICK! In the interest of being fair, I must mention that Chyna sure knows how to suck a dick. But I’m still not turned on at all. Not one bit.

Now they’re making out. X-pac gets to taste his own dick. Faggot. After some egocentric boner shots, Chyna hits the ground and starts deep-throating like crazy.

For the record, I am also watching my cat shit in her litterbox right now, and I can honestly say that I find that just as erotic as the vile display playing out on my monitor.

Camera is stationary again, and there’s lots of kissy kissy going on. Oh shit, at the 15:30 mark, X-pac’s going in. He’s going to go down on Chyna! That’s one brave cruiserweight. Fortunately, due to poor camera positioning, all we can see is the back of X-pac’s head. Unfortunately, due to hypersensitive audio settings, we can hear lots of manly grunts coming from Chyna. When she’s moaning, I swear she says something that sounds like “LGHGUM SCHGUM” over and over again.

X-pac’s been going at it for a while. They have repositioned themselves on the bed, giving plenty of unwanted screen time to X-pac’s skinny pale ass. Yay.

At the 24:30 mark, X-pac gets sick of eating out Chyna and hops up on the bed, and shoves his cock in her face. I can’t believe he missed such a perfect opportunity to scream “SUCK IT” and make crotch chops at the camera. Disappointing, to say the least.

Chyna is now laying on the bed spread eagle with an X-cock in her mouth. She appears to have normal female genitalia, but to be fair, it is kind of dark, and the camera is a few feet away. X-pac, ready to get his freak on, mounts Chyna and begins humping away at 26:30.

Chyna’s masculine moans of pleasure will haunt my dreams for hundreds of sleepless nights to come. I can only assume that X-pac is so drunk that he can ignore the awful noise. Chyna still has her heels and bra on. Generic missionary sex = YAWN.

At 28:30 he blows his load inside of her. 1-2-3 Kid indeed. He is winded and breathing heavily as he shuts off the camera. Way to last two minutes, champ! No wonder the bitch beat you up in front of your kids.

And we now go back to color footage of X-pac traveling to the Great Wall of China. The Chinese music is back, and I’m hungry for Won-tons again. X-pac reads an inspiring inscription off a big rock, and then begins walking up the stairs to the wall itself.

X-pac is so impressed by this magnificent structure, that all he call manage to say is “Awh shit.” Once on top of the wall, he begins to sing “The Sound of Music.” I wish I were making this up, but I’m not.

For some unknown reason, and with no prior warning, X-pac pivots and sprints offscreen. This is ****ing bizarre.

Now we’re back in town, with Won-ton music still playing. X-pac is walking in the hall of a hotel, and this can mean only one thing…

Cut to color footage of Chyna in a pink tank top, laying spread eagle on the bathroom sink in a hotel room. X-pac is once again holding the camera, and zooms in on the area that SHOULD be a vagina, but is instead occupied by a strange flap of flesh that can best be described as “I Can’t Believe It’s Not Penis.”

X-pac wiggles his dick around for the camera, which for some reason points to the right. (The dick, not the camera). He hands the camera to Chyna and goes down again at the 32:45 mark.

Now I’ve gone down on chicks before, but never on one that had a “clit” that ****ing big. X-pac is essentially sucking on a little baby dick. More disgusting Yeti moans from Chyna. This is horrible. The only thing that is remotely entertaining is the fact that they’re running the camera off the AC adapter and the cord keeps getting in the way while X-pac tries to suck her dick.

At the 35:45 mark, X-pac has the camera again, and zooms in on Chyna rubbing his dick with her foot. I officially want to die.

She hits the dirt at 36:15 and starts sucking his dick. She is buck naked at this point, and while the rest of her is revolting, her tits don’t look half bad from this angle.

X-pac says she looks incredibly gorgeous. Clearly he has been drinking.

At 37:20, Chyna decides she wants some dick, and stands up to back her indescribable privates onto X-pac’s boner. And… it’s sexing time!

X-pac can’t hold the camera straight while they’re ****ing, and the lens cap and the power cord keep flopping into the picture. Otherwise, the action is as horrifying as you would expect. This is a tight picture, shot from above, showing X-pac slamming it into Chyna from behind.

X-pac is making all of the noise. Chyna hasn’t begun her simian man-grunting yet. At 39:30, X-pac is winded again and wheezing like crazy. Get back to the gym you pudgy ****.

At 43:30, X-pac gets the clever idea to point the camera at the mirror for a side view of Chyna getting ****ed. From the side, her pendulous breasts swing to and fro like flesh-colored Hefty bags full of curdled milk. Any woman who ever considers breast implants should be forced to watch this video. Ugh.

Now she’s sucking dick again. And doing a serviceable job at it. WTF? She just dipped his dick in Cherry Kool-Aid and started sucking it again. I’ll never drink anything red again.

PROTIP: If you’re going down on a girl with a less-than-savory chooch, Dr. Norm recommends popping in a PEP-O-MINT Lifesaver to kill the taste and give her a little extra goodness. Don’t use an Altoid though; you’re burn her up like crazy.

At 46:00, X-pac is back to sucking the baby dick for some reason. But the camera angle is so awful that you only get to see Chyna’s man ass and his hair hanging in front of it. Considering the horror hidden behind that greasy mullet, I guess I really shouldn’t complain.

At the 48:20 mark, we get a view of a NASTY surgery scar on Chyna’s abdomen. Looks like a cut from a Cesarean, but I doubt that, as she would actually have to be a woman to become pregnant. Nasty nonetheless.

At 48:30, it’s time to kick it in a totally wacky and new way- MISSIONARY. Shit, even I’d be bored at this point.

At 49:00, we cut to another shot of doggie action, obviously taken in a different room under different light. Chyna has a series of pimples on her ass that more than slightly resemble the constellation of Orion, the ancient hunter (Laffo Irony Alert @ Hunter)!

Fat-Pac is breathing so heavy it’s ridiculous. Thank goodness there are just minutes left to go. At 51:00, we get a view of Chyna’s entire ass, and a quick count indicates that it’s speckled with AT LEAST 40 flaring red pimples. How that man manages to maintain an erection while ****ing that craterous turd-cutter is beyond me.

A pan of the room reveals another “artistic” mirror shot, as well as the messiest ****ing hotel room I’ve ever seen. It’s like the perfect storm of human squalor. The only things that could make the scene complete are a few malnourished cats rolling around in their own feces and a dead hooker laying face down in an open pizza box.

X-pac is still pumping away at the 54:00 minute mark. He can barely breathe at this point. My guess is that the coke is the only thing keeping him alive. There is some heavy, loud flesh-slapping going on. If Chyna is enjoying this, she’s being awful quiet about it. Maybe she can only get off when that little greaser sucks her dick for a few minutes.

At 54:30, X-pac flips her over, revealing a freshly shaved bush, and unfortunately giving us full view of her “womanhood.” X-pac wisely pans the camera up to her dog face and Yeti tits, as not to dwell on the fact that he is ****ing a hermaphrodite. Chyna sticks her tongue out, which is smaller than her “clit.” Yikes.

At the 55:45 mark, we go to a wide shot of X-pac hitting the money shot on Chyna’s man ass. Chyna now has a red bra on. This was obviously shot after the fact, in a different room, with a third party holding the camera, under professional lighting. So any line Chyna cries about not wanting this video to be released is absolute bullshit.

And for them taking the time to shoot this separately, you would have thought that X-pac would have actually saved up and shot a decent load, but NOPE, he pretty much dry fires on her. What a fitting way to end this disgusting display of anti-sexuality.

Cut to a final shot of X-pac back at the great wall. “I guess I’ve had about enough of China that I can handle.” Yeah, you and me both.

Won-ton music and credits roll.

Well, I survived that horrific ordeal, never once entertaining the thought of even scratching my dick, let alone stimulating it.

Let me put it to you this way. Anybody (man, woman and child alike) who watches this video and is aroused in any way should be drug into the streets and beaten without mercy until nothing remains of them but a steaming red meat puddle on the pavement.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to the China Chef to grab me an order of Altoona’a finest Cheese Won-tons.

Until next time, I remain the great and terrible (and seriously not in the mood for sex) NormanB

Mr. Laz
03-11-2005, 05:32 PM
Here you go big guy...

http://chyna.celebsphotos.org/

another dam virus//spam link :cuss:


dont click that link!!!!!!!

dirk digler
03-11-2005, 05:33 PM
For you keg...http://www.owow.com/RingsideWith/Chyna/Gallery-2/20.jpg

dirk digler
03-11-2005, 05:34 PM
another dam virus//spam link :cuss:


dont click that link!!!!!!!


Really I will remove it. Sorry it didn't install anything on my PC. Of course I use Firefox and it didn't display any pics on it.

I just opened it in IE and I got nothing.

Count Alex's Wins
03-11-2005, 05:35 PM
Chyna’s masculine moans of pleasure will haunt my dreams for hundreds of sleepless nights to come.

Chyna has a series of pimples on her ass that more than slightly resemble the constellation of Orion, the ancient hunter

ROFL :shake:

Mr. Laz
03-11-2005, 05:37 PM
Really I will remove it. Sorry it didn't install anything on my PC. Of course I use Firefox and it didn't display any pics on it.

it tried to install something... trojan.dialer.exe



i believe this is the second time you've linked to the same time thing



rochambeau

keg in kc
03-11-2005, 05:39 PM
The more important question is...why in the name of all that's good and holy did you click on that link in the first place?!?!?!?!

dirk digler
03-11-2005, 05:39 PM
it tried to install something... trojan.dialer.exe



i believe this is the second time you've linked to the same time thing



rochambeau

Nope this is the first time and sorry but I opened it up in IE and nothing tried to install on mine. I removed the link just in case.

Count Alex's Wins
03-11-2005, 05:40 PM
He's trying to spoil my Kidman fest. He's on ignore for awhile...****ing Chyna pics. :shake:

keg in kc
03-11-2005, 05:40 PM
I swear to god that guy's article on the video had me in tears. That's one of the funniest things I've read in a long time.

Mr. Laz
03-11-2005, 05:41 PM
The more important question is...why in the name of all that's good and holy did you click on that link in the first place?!?!?!?!
it's like a car wreck ... i just can't help it. my curiosity just takes charge and i must click on the links.

even if i know that tubgirl is on the other side ... i just can't resist it.


:shrug:

keg in kc
03-11-2005, 05:42 PM
it's like a car wreck ... i just can't help it. my curiosity just takes charge and i must click on the links.

even if i now that tubgirl is on the other side ... i just can't resist it.I was the same way with the video to be honest. For about 15 seconds, then I was just...ill.

Now tubgirl? No. I have wayyy more control than that.

Count Alex's Wins
03-11-2005, 05:44 PM
it's like a car wreck ... i just can't help it. my curiosity just takes charge and i must click on the links.

even if i now that tubgirl is on the other side ... i just can't resist it.


:shrug:

Yeah...you wanna change your avatar? Dancing flabby is getting old.

dirk digler
03-11-2005, 05:46 PM
I swear to god that guy's article on the video had me in tears. That's one of the funniest things I've read in a long time.


That was hilarious I feel sorry for gochiefs now that his girlfriend had sex with X-Pac.

Mr. Laz
03-11-2005, 05:51 PM
Nope this is the first time and sorry but I opened it up in IE and nothing tried to install on mine. I removed the link just in case.

prolly cause you already have the trojan on your computer :p

dirk digler
03-11-2005, 05:53 PM
prolly cause you already have the trojan on your computer :p

Probably I do use MS Antispyware...

I apologize if I did give out a bad infected link.

Valiant
03-11-2005, 09:12 PM
My god, she's a prize catch! She has tits! :rolleyes:


Gochiefs you talking about what makes a girl attractive is like me talking about being a rocket scientist... You do not know shit about women, you have never touched one, had one or will ever get to know one...

Count Alex's Wins
03-11-2005, 09:14 PM
Gochiefs you talking about what makes a girl attractive is like me talking about being a rocket scientist... You do not know shit about women, you have never touched one, had one or will ever get to know one...

We've been over this before. STFD AND STFU!!!

Valiant
03-11-2005, 09:41 PM
We've been over this before. STFD AND STFU!!!


Gochiefs what fantasy do you live in when you think it is normal to watch starwars in your parents basement instead of finding a girl???

How bad is it that Slayer is more of a ladies man then you...

If anybody needs to stfd and stfu about anything especially when it has to do with women and football it is you...

siberian khatru
03-11-2005, 11:27 PM
Speaking of "One Night in Chyna", I found this. Made me laugh my ass off:



ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL

OMG, I've got tears streaming down my face and I can't catch my breath, I've been laughing so hard.

Mr. Kotter
03-11-2005, 11:42 PM
Gochiefs what fantasy do you live in when you think it is normal to watch starwars in your parents basement instead of finding a girl???




Aren't you bein' tough on him? Princess Leah was HOT....

keg in kc
03-11-2005, 11:57 PM
OMG, I've got tears streaming down my face and I can't catch my breath, I've been laughing so hard.It was just classic, man. Classic. I just read it again. I can't stop laughing.

Mr. Kotter
03-12-2005, 12:12 AM
I swear to god that guy's article on the video had me in tears. That's one of the funniest things I've read in a long time.

You post that, NTTAWWT....but then you accuse me of "homoerotic" fantasies....heh. ROFL

keg in kc
03-12-2005, 12:15 AM
You post that, NTTAWWT....but then you accuse me of "homoerotic" fantasies....I don't accuse you of shit, I merely comment that for some reason every time you post, you shift the conversation to homosexuality one way or another.

And I posted that because it was f*cking hilarious.

Mr. Kotter
03-12-2005, 12:17 AM
I don't accuse you of shit, I merely comment that for some reason every time you post, you shift the conversation to homosexuality one way or another.

And I posted that because it was f*cking hilarious.

It was funny, I admit. Although it's frequent, I wouldn't say it's even close to "every time" I post...be be clear. :)

go bowe
03-12-2005, 12:19 AM
I don't accuse you of shit, I merely comment that for some reason every time you post, you shift the conversation to homosexuality one way or another.

And I posted that because it was f*cking hilarious.homosexuality, one way or another?

man, sdchiefsfan is getting adventurous these days...

Mr. Kotter
03-12-2005, 12:20 AM
I don't accuse you of shit, I merely comment that for some reason every time you post, you shift the conversation to homosexuality one way or another.

And I posted that because it was f*cking hilarious.

FTR, here is your quote: I don't think I've ever seen someone so single-mindedly obsessed with homoerotic imagery. Seriously

Please educate me as to how I misinterpreted that.... :hmmm:

go bowe
03-12-2005, 12:21 AM
It was funny, I admit. Although it's frequent, I wouldn't say it's even close to "every time" I post...be be clear. :)pretty much...

Mr. Kotter
03-12-2005, 12:21 AM
homosexuality, one way or another?

man, sdchiefsfan is getting adventurous these days...

Variety is the spice of life, eh? ROFL

go bowe
03-12-2005, 12:22 AM
FTR, here is your quote:

Please educate me as to how I misinterpreted that.... :hmmm:jeez, hurry up ma, you're gonna miss all the fun...

*sits down with popcorn*

keg in kc
03-12-2005, 12:23 AM
FTR, here is your quote:

Please educate me as to how I misinterpreted that.... I don't leave things to interpretation. If I wanted to say you're a latent homosexual, I'd say that. I don't know you well enough either way. What I said stands: I don't think I've seen anybody so obsessed with homoerotic imagery. Whenever I see you in a conversation, it seems to go that way. Why that is, I'm not qualified to say. And frankly, I don't give a shit.

go bowe
03-12-2005, 12:28 AM
I don't leave things to interpretation. If I wanted to say you're a latent homosexual, I'd say that. I don't know you well enough either way. What I said stands: I don't think I've seen anybody so obsessed with homoerotic imagery. Whenever I see you in a conversation, it seems to go that way. Why that is, I'm not qualified to say. And frankly, I don't give a shit.you mean rob isn't a latent homosexual?

damn, it's hard to keep up without a scorecard... :( :( :(

Mr. Kotter
03-12-2005, 12:29 AM
I don't leave things to interpretation. If I wanted to say you're a latent homosexual, I'd say that. I don't know you well enough either way. What I said stands: I don't think I've seen anybody so obsessed with homoerotic imagery. Whenever I see you in a conversation, it seems to go that way. Why that is, I'm not qualified to say.

Go back and read the thread, dude.

For someone who doesn't "know," doesn't "think," and isn't "qualified" you sure are makin' one heck of a leap.

FTR, with sporadic posting, late night posting, and missed posts, I should remember we don't always have the whole context. I'm willin' to give you the benefit of the doubt.

If you choose to be serious though; please, KNOW what you are talkin' about. Otherwise, just STFU is a good idea.

FTR, I still love you like the frat bro I never had, Kyle.

Mr. Kotter
03-12-2005, 12:30 AM
you mean rob isn't a latent homosexual?

damn, it's hard to keep up without a scorecard... :( :( :(

I clarified the issue in the Romper Room thread...but you know that. :p

go bowe
03-12-2005, 12:35 AM
I clarified the issue in the Romper Room thread...but you know that. :poh, whether or not you really are a closet homosexual doesn't really have anything to do with what people say about you around here, rob...

it's the thrill of the chase, the rush of facing danger, the magnificent drama that draws the crowds, i tells ya...

keg in kc
03-12-2005, 12:36 AM
For someone who doesn't "know," doesn't "think," and isn't "qualified" you sure are makin' one heck of a leap.What "leap" am I making? Every day that I see you on here, which is what I mean when I say "every time you post", in one thread or another, you talk about something I'd characterize as homoerotic. There's nothing wrong with that, it's just odd that someone so overtly anti-gay would go that route. Although maybe I shouldn't be surprised by that kind of juvenile grade-school humor on a bulletin board.If you choose to be serious though; please, KNOW what you are talkin' about. Otherwise, just STFU is a good idea.I'm "serious" about a very few things. Significant, consequential topics.

"You," I'm afraid, don't fall into that category.

Jenny Gump
03-12-2005, 12:36 AM
Imagine my disappointment when I click on the end of this thread....we've gone from Lohan wrapping Bruce's salami to Rob's latent homosexuality. Newsflash...if he talks about it all the time, it isn't so "latent" now is it?

Just kidding Rob.

go bowe
03-12-2005, 12:39 AM
What "leap" am I making? Every day that I see you on here, which is what I mean when I say "every time you post", in one thread or another, you talk about something I'd characterize as homoerotic. There's nothing wrong with that, it's just odd that someone so overtly anti-gay would go that route. Although maybe I shouldn't be surprised by that kind of juvenile grade-school humor on a bulletin board.I'm "serious" about a very few things. Significant, consequential topics.

"You," I'm afraid, don't fall into that category.now you're talking...

dazzle him with your jab...

*cheers for blood*

go bowe
03-12-2005, 12:40 AM
Imagine my disappointment when I click on the end of this thread....we've gone from Lohan wrapping Bruce's salami to Rob's latent homosexuality. Newsflash...if he talks about it all the time, it isn't so "latent" now is it?

Just kidding Rob.hmmmmmm...

interesting point...

keg in kc
03-12-2005, 12:41 AM
go bo is that random guy that starts every bar brawl and then sneaks out the back laughing while it's going on,.

Mr. Kotter
03-12-2005, 12:42 AM
now you're talking...

dazzle him with your jab...

*cheers for blood*

I like Kyle too much to continue this where it could be headed....

If it makes you feel good, Kyle...whatever. You too, Jenn (I know, you were kidding...heh) . ;)

go bowe
03-12-2005, 12:44 AM
go bo is that random guy that starts every bar brawl and then sneaks out the back laughing while it's going on,.nah, i just throw the beer and then point at the guy in the next row... :p

Mr. Kotter
03-12-2005, 12:44 AM
hmmmmmm...

interesting point...

Eh, only if your head is buried in your ass....which in Jenn's case, wouldn't be a bad place to be....heh.

tk13
03-12-2005, 12:46 AM
Alright, he sits there and denies his homosexuality then he posts that picture and sickens us all. Thanks, I'm sure you're innocent, OJ.