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View Full Version : A 'pick the survivors' question.


Rain Man
03-19-2005, 10:04 PM
You're the governor of a state. (Any state. It doesn't matter for these purposes. Don't assume Rhode Island, though, because that would just be lame. Don't assume New York, either, because frankly, you couldn't handle New York.)

Anyway, a major plague has swept down upon the land. Scientists have figure out a vaccine for it, but it can be made only from the pollen of a rare Amazonian orchid, and the orchid's habitat has been greatly reduced by the construction of Amazonian Starbucks stores.

As a result, you've got enough vaccine to save 20 percent of the state's population, and the rest of the population is going to die. President Oprah Winfrey has given you orders to administer the vaccine in "a moral, ethical manner that will best position your state for the future."

Who gets the vaccine, and why? You can be as detailed as you like.

milkman
03-19-2005, 10:07 PM
Who'd want to live in a world where Ophrah is the president?

Rain Man
03-19-2005, 10:10 PM
Don't blame me. I voted for Condi.

KCFalcon59
03-19-2005, 10:10 PM
Everyone except for people of Dutch origin

Bowser
03-19-2005, 10:12 PM
How morbid!

Only 20% of the state survives? Wow. Well for starters, anyone incarcerated is up shit creek.

It's pretty hard to decide who would survive. Age would have to be a factor, as well as health. It would almost end up as a "Logan's Run" scenario.

Damn you, Starbucks!

Phobia
03-19-2005, 10:12 PM
Duh. Only the hot chicks.

Nightfyre
03-19-2005, 10:13 PM
I give the vaccine to those who dont patronize starbucks.

Delano
03-19-2005, 10:14 PM
Anyone living off the state would be refused vaccination.

I'd probably keep younger, healthy and intelligent people that could contribute to the tax base and quickly repopulate the state.

Oh, and I couldn't save 20 percent of the population because I really love to snort orchid pollen. With the leftovers from my pollen binge, I might be able to cure a meagre 18.5 percent.

Rain Man
03-19-2005, 10:15 PM
I give the vaccine to those who dont patronize starbucks.


That actually works on several levels.

Phobia
03-19-2005, 10:18 PM
That actually works on several levels.


Yeah - then maybe rescue workers for 9-11 could get some bottled water.

The Pedestrian
03-19-2005, 10:21 PM
Me and all women between the ages of 16 and 24.

go bowe
03-19-2005, 10:31 PM
You're the governor of a state. (Any state. It doesn't matter for these purposes. Don't assume Rhode Island, though, because that would just be lame. Don't assume New York, either, because frankly, you couldn't handle New York.)

Anyway, a major plague has swept down upon the land. Scientists have figure out a vaccine for it, but it can be made only from the pollen of a rare Amazonian orchid, and the orchid's habitat has been greatly reduced by the construction of Amazonian Starbucks stores.

As a result, you've got enough vaccine to save 20 percent of the state's population, and the rest of the population is going to die. President Oprah Winfrey has given you orders to administer the vaccine in "a moral, ethical manner that will best position your state for the future."

Who gets the vaccine, and why? You can be as detailed as you like.hmmmm...

that's a tough one...

you can't just let all of the old people die off...

somebody's got to run the store while the young'uns are growing up...

but you can't let all the young people die off either...

20% eh?

if i can be the governor of missouri, i could let bartee and morton die off, couldn't i?

Rain Man
03-19-2005, 10:31 PM
Here's my plan.

Everyone will have a chance to win the vaccine via a lottery, as follows:

1. Everyone automatically gets one entry into the drawing.

2. People get one extra entry for every decade they are below age 65. For example, a 57 year-old would get one additional entry, while a 17 year-old would get five additional entries.

3. People would get one additional entry for each sextile they make on a physical fitness test. In other words, the bottom sextile would get no additional entries, and the top sextile would get 5 additional entries.

4. People would get one additional entry for each decile they make on a knowledge/IQ test. In other words, the bottom decile would get no additional entries, and the top decile would get 9 additional entries.

The drawings would be held until 95 percent of the vaccine was distributed. At that point, we would check on the number of doctors, scientists, engineers, and skilled tradespeople (electricians, carpenters, etc.) have been drawn. If they make up less than 5 percent of the selected population, a special drawing would be held using the above criteria (excluding the age bonuses) for only people in those professions until they each make up one percent of the selected population (2 percent for skilled tradespeople). Once they're up to the quota, the remainder is once again given out via the previous lottery method.

FloridaChief
03-19-2005, 10:32 PM
What music's playing in the background?

Count Zarth
03-19-2005, 10:32 PM
Me and all women between the ages of 16 and 24.

The future of the human race ends in one huge car crash pileup.

The Pedestrian
03-19-2005, 10:34 PM
The future of the human race ends in one huge car crash pileup.

I won't be driving...I'll be too "tired".

Rain Man
03-19-2005, 10:35 PM
What music's playing in the background?


"It's the End of the World" by REM.

go bowe
03-19-2005, 10:35 PM
Here's my plan.

Everyone will have a chance to win the vaccine via a lottery, as follows:

1. Everyone automatically gets one entry into the drawing.

2. People get one extra entry for every decade they are below age 65. For example, a 57 year-old would get one additional entry, while a 17 year-old would get five additional entries.

3. People would get one additional entry for each sextile they make on a physical fitness test. In other words, the bottom sextile would get no additional entries, and the top sextile would get 5 additional entries.

4. People would get one additional entry for each decile they make on a knowledge/IQ test. In other words, the bottom decile would get no additional entries, and the top decile would get 9 additional entries.

The drawings would be held until 95 percent of the vaccine was distributed. At that point, we would check on the number of doctors, scientists, engineers, and skilled tradespeople (electricians, carpenters, etc.) have been drawn. If they make up less than 5 percent of the selected population, a special drawing would be held using the above criteria (excluding the age bonuses) for only people in those professions until they each make up one percent of the selected population (2 percent for skilled tradespeople). Once they're up to the quota, the remainder is once again given out via the previous lottery method.good heavens...

it looks like i would only get one entry... :(

but that's ok, i'm really lucky sometimes... :D

whoman69
03-19-2005, 10:37 PM
Everyone except for people of Dutch origin
You do realize the guy in your av is of Dutch origin, don't you?

Rain Man
03-19-2005, 10:38 PM
good heavens...

it looks like i would only get one entry... :(

but that's ok, i'm really lucky sometimes... :D


I considered taking one entry away for lawyers, but I decided that that wouldn't be fair.

4th and Long
03-19-2005, 10:42 PM
3. People would get one additional entry for each sextile they make on a physical fitness test. In other words, the bottom sextile would get no additional entries, and the top sextile would get 5 additional entries.

4. People would get one additional entry for each decile they make on a knowledge/IQ test. In other words, the bottom decile would get no additional entries, and the top decile would get 9 additional entries.
Myself, working in the health care field, and looking at the above two options, makes me beg the following questions.

1. This plague apparently doesn't affect your physical well being since people will be able to take physical fitness tests?

2. This plague apparently doesn't affect your mental status since people will be able to take knowledge/IQ tests?

3. Exactly how does this plague kill it's victims? Tickle you to death?

Rain Man
03-19-2005, 10:52 PM
Myself, working in the health care field, and looking at the above two options, makes me beg the following questions.

1. This plague apparently doesn't affect your physical well being since people will be able to take physical fitness tests?

2. This plague apparently doesn't affect your mental status since people will be able to take knowledge/IQ tests?

3. Exactly how does this plague kill it's victims? Tickle you to death?

Good point. My presumption is that you can get this done before the plague hits your state, or if not, only people who don't have the plague yet would be eligible. It's a vaccine, not a cure.

KCWolfman
03-19-2005, 11:59 PM
I want to be in a neighboring state ready to run a coup d'etat.

After all, I have never seen a flag with 49 stars.

big nasty kcnut
03-20-2005, 01:26 AM
I would give to important people like doctor nurse and people who can help rebulid our state. One part smart people and one part very healthy people. one part service folks like army navy folks and that it.

luv
03-20-2005, 01:29 AM
Duh. Only the hot chicks.


And you of course, but wouldn't the state still need some smart people?

Miles
03-20-2005, 01:37 AM
And you of course, but wouldn't the state still need some smart people?

I know and have met penty of hot intelligent chicks. The only problem is that that combination seems to lead to crazy and unstable ones.

luv
03-20-2005, 01:39 AM
The only problem is that that combination seems to lead to crazy and unstable ones.


Wouldn't they have to be both if they were helping Phobia repopulate the state?

trndobrd
03-20-2005, 03:26 AM
I'll take the vaccine myself. Then I will have to give the vaccine to the National Guard and State Police to ensure I can control violent mobs. After that, I would start the bidding on the remaining vaccine at say, $5000 per dose. Do I hear $6000? You, sir, in the back? Was your hand up? Ah, $6500.....

stevieray
03-20-2005, 08:03 AM
Those who have the mark.

Phobia
03-20-2005, 08:29 AM
Wouldn't they have to be both if they were helping Phobia repopulate the state?

I don't care if they're crazy and unstable.... I'm not marrying them. I just plan to procreate with them.... for the future of the state, of course.

PastorMikH
03-20-2005, 09:06 AM
I would give the vaccine first to (listed in order of priority)

Medical/medical research people
Law enforcement/emergency personel
Undertakers.
State guard and reserve forces
Civil workers to keep public works going (Well, maybe on this one we could put an incentive plan in and only give it to those workers that actually WORK - no sense wasting vaccine on someone that stands around holding a shovel and watching others work)


Well, that's a start, I may add more later.

4th and Long
03-20-2005, 09:10 AM
I would give the vaccine first to (listed in order of priority)

Medical/medical research people
Law enforcement/emergency personel
Undertakers.
State guard and reserve forces
Civil workers to keep public works going (Well, maybe on this one we could put an incentive plan in and only give it to those workers that actually WORK - no sense wasting vaccine on someone that stands around holding a shovel and watching others work)


Well, that's a start, I may add more later.
Yay! I'm first on that list! Vote PastorMikH for Govenor! :D

trndobrd
03-20-2005, 09:18 AM
Anyone who voted against me for governor should probably start looking into one of those prepaid funeral plans.

Simplex3
03-20-2005, 10:04 AM
Here's my plan.

Everyone will have a chance to win the vaccine via a lottery, as follows:

1. Everyone automatically gets one entry into the drawing.

2. People get one extra entry for every decade they are below age 65. For example, a 57 year-old would get one additional entry, while a 17 year-old would get five additional entries.

3. People would get one additional entry for each sextile they make on a physical fitness test. In other words, the bottom sextile would get no additional entries, and the top sextile would get 5 additional entries.

4. People would get one additional entry for each decile they make on a knowledge/IQ test. In other words, the bottom decile would get no additional entries, and the top decile would get 9 additional entries.

The drawings would be held until 95 percent of the vaccine was distributed. At that point, we would check on the number of doctors, scientists, engineers, and skilled tradespeople (electricians, carpenters, etc.) have been drawn. If they make up less than 5 percent of the selected population, a special drawing would be held using the above criteria (excluding the age bonuses) for only people in those professions until they each make up one percent of the selected population (2 percent for skilled tradespeople). Once they're up to the quota, the remainder is once again given out via the previous lottery method.
Eliminate the lottery portion and just go with outright score and you've got yourself a deal. Some issues I'd still have to grapple with a little:

1. Immediate family. Guy #1 on the list has a wife and two kids who aren't on the list. How motivated is he going to be to help the rest of us if we whack his family?

2. A single male can repopulate with multiple females. I'd be hard pressed to not go with a 65% or 70% female majority so I can get to repopulating faster. Monogamy is going to take a big hit, but obviously life is a bitch in this scenario.

3. Hard workers. Other than eliminating welfare queens we haven't really addressed the issue of workers. Like a wise man once told me, "If there were no s**t eaters in this world we'd all be up to our eyeballs in s**t".

Phobia
03-20-2005, 10:16 AM
Everyone who has posted a priority list and didn't include moderators at the top of your list is subject to unspeakable mod abuse at my whimsy this week.

Simplex3
03-20-2005, 10:21 AM
Everyone who has posted a priority list and didn't include moderators at the top of your list is subject to unspeakable mod abuse at my whimsy this week.
I'm sure we were all convinced you guys would fall into the top of our ranges and would be safe anyway. Or something like that.

4th and Long
03-20-2005, 10:53 AM
Everyone who has posted a priority list and didn't include moderators at the top of your list is subject to unspeakable mod abuse at my whimsy this week.
I knew there was a reason I didn't make a list. :)