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View Full Version : The Return of the Nipple Tweaker


Donger
03-25-2005, 11:46 AM
So, I seem to be plagued by nipple tweakers...

There is, of course, the slightly retarded girl at the grocery store, but the latest one wasn't retarded.

I had a long flight home last night and happened to sit next to a rather attractive young lady (she was in the middle seat, I was in the window seat). We engaged in pleasant, airplane type conversation for about half an hour, whereupon she promptly fell asleep. I believe that she was moderately intoxicated. After a while, she leaned over slightly and rested her head on my shoulder. No big deal, I suppose. However, about ten minutes later, I noticed that she was rubbing her left breast with her right hand.

I basically just sat there, probably with a very stupid look on my face. Perhaps she was dreaming, or perhaps she just likes rubbing her breasts. Anyway, after about 15 minutes, she "woke up" with a start, apologized for leaning on my shoulder and got out a magazine. Not a word.

I like flying.

Rain Man
03-25-2005, 11:48 AM
I had exactly the same thing happen once, but it was a 350-lb. man.

wilas101
03-25-2005, 11:48 AM
I only get to sit next to fat chicks and dudes when I fly. :(

I must be using the wrong airline.

Donger
03-25-2005, 11:50 AM
I had exactly the same thing happen once, but it was a 350-lb. man.

I trust you let him finish.

The Pedestrian
03-25-2005, 11:51 AM
I knew a girl like that, but she did it when she was awake...

Donger
03-25-2005, 11:53 AM
I only get to sit next to fat chicks and dudes when I fly. :(

I must be using the wrong airline.

I don't think it's airline specific. This was, in all honesty, an aberration. I usually sit next to the "way too excited with the whole airborne experience" kid or the most flatulent person on the entire aircraft.

Claynus
03-25-2005, 11:55 AM
Damn.

Dr. Facebook Fever
03-25-2005, 11:56 AM
I had a long flight home last night and happened to sit next to a rather attractive young lady (she was in the middle seat, I was in the window seat). We engaged in pleasant, airplane type conversation for about half an hour, whereupon she promptly fell asleep. I believe that she was moderately intoxicated. After a while, she leaned over slightly and rested her head on my shoulder. No big deal, I suppose. However, about ten minutes later, I noticed that she was rubbing her left breast with her right hand.

I basically just sat there, probably with a very stupid look on my face. Perhaps she was dreaming, or perhaps she just likes rubbing her breasts. Anyway, after about 15 minutes, she "woke up" with a start, apologized for leaning on my shoulder and got out a magazine. Not a word.


sorry.

ENDelt260
03-25-2005, 11:57 AM
the most flatulent person on the entire aircraft.

Sorry about that.

Donger
03-25-2005, 11:58 AM
Damn.

What?

ENDelt260
03-25-2005, 11:59 AM
I sat next to a pregnant woman on my last flight. While on the plus side I had visual evidence that she puts out, I'm guessing there would've been mobility issues if'n I got her in the bathroom.

foxman
03-25-2005, 11:59 AM
Shame she didnt use your hand.

wilas101
03-25-2005, 12:00 PM
The last chick I sat beside on a flight decided, as we were starting to taxi, that my forearm was a better place to hold on than the arm of the seat.

She was a little gal and rather plain looking but she had a grip like popeye. From Baltimore to KC my poor arm suffered and then I had to explain to my wife why some strange girl on the plane was holding onto my arm.

She finally left me alone when I suggested she inspect my d|ck for bruises too. :P

Donger
03-25-2005, 12:03 PM
Sorry about that.

Yes, it is rather sad.

A few weeks ago, perhaps the most disgusting odor I've ever smelled began wafting through the aircraft. A lady next to me actually started gagging. A guy in the row ahead of me stated, "Jesus Christ!! Please stop farting before you kill us all!!!"

Mr. Laz
03-25-2005, 12:04 PM
trying to follow the "rules of Endelt"


why didn't you get laid?!

Donger
03-25-2005, 12:05 PM
I sat next to a pregnant woman on my last flight. While on the plus side I had visual evidence that she puts out, I'm guessing there would've been mobility issues if'n I got her in the bathroom.

There's nothing more erotic than a pregnant gal saying, "Oh look!! You can see the baby moving" during intercourse.

Donger
03-25-2005, 12:06 PM
trying to follow the "rules of Endelt"


why didn't you get laid?!

I don't cheat on my wife.

C-Mac
03-25-2005, 12:06 PM
I had exactly the same thing happen once, but it was a 350-lb. man.

ROFL....all I could think about was Tommy Boy.

Claynus
03-25-2005, 12:06 PM
What?

Damn!

Donger
03-25-2005, 12:08 PM
Damn!

What would you have done?

If I were single, I know exactly what I would have done.

Claynus
03-25-2005, 12:15 PM
What would you have done?

If I were single, I know exactly what I would have done.

I would have sat there in shock.

JimNasium
03-25-2005, 12:16 PM
Did she work at 7-11?

Donger
03-25-2005, 12:18 PM
I would have sat there in shock.

Considering the type of person you are and the environment you're in, you must realize that this might be the only opportunity you'll have in your entire life to have sex.

And you sit there shocked? Initial shock is fine, but what next?

CosmicPal
03-25-2005, 12:21 PM
Man....that's sweet.

When she awakened, I would have said something to her like, "Dreaming about melons again, eh?"

Claynus
03-25-2005, 12:22 PM
Considering the type of person you are and the environment you're in, you must realize that this might be the only opportunity you'll have in your entire life to have sex.

And you sit there shocked? Initial shock is fine, but what next?

I'm not trained to take the next move.

chiefs4me
03-25-2005, 12:29 PM
I'm not trained to take the next move.





I have about had enough of this crap.....were you raised in a box...good god you are a man/boy whatever. Nobody needs to teach you anything, you just do what comes natural......have you not ever watched tv. Read a book...exactly what is your problem with sex and talking to girls.:shake:

Did you go to school....have you ever held a girls hand? What kind of life did you have not to know how to talk to another human being that just happens to be the other sex?

CosmicPal
03-25-2005, 12:30 PM
For lack of wanting to start another thread while not trying to hijack this one, I gotta tell you I was out last night playing league pool.

I was sitting there drinking and watching this hot, young gal shooting pool at another table when one of my teammates called me over. I walked by this hottie as she bent down to get the balls for a new game. She's wearing these tight jeans that are just below her waistline.

Anyways, this hottie ends up showing her buttcrack. But, the interesting thing was- not just her buttcrack, but nearly her entire naked ass was sitting right there for everyone to see. I nearly folded over when I saw this.

Claynus
03-25-2005, 12:30 PM
I have about had enough of this crap.....were you raised in a box...

More or less, yes.

Donger
03-25-2005, 12:32 PM
I have about had enough of this crap.....were you raised in a box...good god you are a man/boy whatever. Nobody needs to teach you anything, you just do what comes natural......have you not ever watched tv. Read a book...exactly what is your problem with sex and talking to girls.:shake:

Did you go to school....have you ever held a girls hand? What kind of life did you have not to know how to talk to another human being that just happens to be the other sex?

The periods are starting to bug me.

Donger
03-25-2005, 12:33 PM
For lack of wanting to start another thread while not trying to hijack this one, I gotta tell you I was out last night playing league pool.

I was sitting there drinking and watching this hot, young gal shooting pool at another table when one of my teammates called me over. I walked by this hottie as she bent down to get the balls for a new game. She's wearing these tight jeans that are just below her waistline.

Anyways, this hottie ends up showing her buttcrack. But, the interesting thing was- not just her buttcrack, but nearly her entire naked ass was sitting right there for everyone to see. I nearly folded over when I saw this.

I don't get it. Was she rubbing her butt?

Claynus
03-25-2005, 12:33 PM
The periods are starting to bug me.

Hello, periodtard on the loose.

Jenny Gump
03-25-2005, 12:34 PM
I don't think it's airline specific. This was, in all honesty, an aberration. I usually sit next to the "way too excited with the whole airborne experience" kid or the most flatulent person on the entire aircraft.

I can't help it. Flying makes me fartilicious.

Donger
03-25-2005, 12:35 PM
I can't help it. Flying makes me fartilicious.

I hadn't even considered that the perp could be female. Thanks, I'll remind myself of that the next time I fly.

Makes it less revolting somehow...

JimNasium
03-25-2005, 12:35 PM
The periods are starting to bug me.
...

chiefs4me
03-25-2005, 12:37 PM
The periods are starting to bug me.




Yea...well...you bug me...but some things are better left unsaid....:harumph:

Claynus
03-25-2005, 12:37 PM
Yea...well...you bug me...but some things are better left unsaid....:harumph:

No way. This is Chiefsplanet. Air your grievances.

chiefs4me
03-25-2005, 12:40 PM
Hello, periodtard on the loose.



lame......and old.....but really I wanna know what is the hangup with you. Why are you so afraid of females? Maybe I or the planet females could help you. What is the deal....what do you mean raised in a box? Did you go to public school? Have you ever watched porn? You can not tell me that you don't know what to do. I really thought that was something a man was just born with.....:)

Donger
03-25-2005, 12:42 PM
Yea...well...you bug me...but some things are better left unsaid....:harumph:

Oh? What about me bugs you?

Rain Man
03-25-2005, 12:46 PM
He's not going to talk about it, chiefs4me, but I happen to know that gochiefs was born without an immune system, so he's had to live his entire life in a big bubble. I'll bet you feel bad now about making fun of him.

Claynus
03-25-2005, 12:47 PM
lame......and old.....but really I wanna know what is the hangup with you. Why are you so afraid of females? Maybe I or the planet females could help you. What is the deal....what do you mean raised in a box? Did you go to public school? Have you ever watched porn? You can not tell me that you don't know what to do. I really thought that was something a man was just born with.....:)

Oh, I'm not afraid of them. I just have no experience in chasing tail and not much instinct, either. It was pretty much driven out of me.

In retrospect I was probably given a few "signals" from females at various stages in my life but was completely unaware and did squat to follow up.

CosmicPal
03-25-2005, 12:49 PM
Oh, I'm not afraid of them. I just have no experience in chasing tail and not much instinct, either. It was pretty much driven out of me.

We need to get you a Barbie doll and a Ken doll and one of those Barbie houses. We'll give you a couple of days to use them both to the best of your imagination.

Donger
03-25-2005, 12:52 PM
It was pretty much driven out of me.

Driven out by what?

Donger
03-25-2005, 12:53 PM
We need to get you a Barbie doll and a Ken doll and one of those Barbie houses. We'll give you a couple of days to use them both to the best of your imagination.

A conversion to the Millenium Falcon for the house, and Princess Layme and Boba Fet for Barb and Kenny.

Claynus
03-25-2005, 12:54 PM
Driven out by what?

Growing up a Jehovah's Witness. Oh and whatever stimuli that created the nerd within me didn't help.

Donger
03-25-2005, 12:58 PM
Growing up a Jehovah's Witness. Oh and whatever stimuli that created the nerd within me didn't help.

Ah. That does shed some light on the matter.

Claynus
03-25-2005, 01:00 PM
Ah. That does shed some light on the matter.

I would like to know what led to me becoming the nerd I am today. I am guessing the fact that I moved to a different city twice in my first ten years and then left an entire country behind after the age of 11 has something to do with it. I literally only had one one good friend in Scotland and only had/have a couple in the states. And they ARE ALL NERDS.

munkey
03-25-2005, 01:06 PM
However, about ten minutes later, I noticed that she was rubbing her left breast with her right hand.



Eh...

I had a similiar situtation on a flight to Maui for a wedding....BUT...Her hand was somewhere else and she was wide awake... :) It sure made that 6 hour flight go by fast....

I remember looking over at this guy accross from me and he was just shaking his head...She was hot and I knew he knew I just met her...

God I miss being a horn dog sometimes.... :p


Needless to say we hooked up about a week later and hung out for a few days even though I got a shit load of grief from my friends wife...she knew my girlfriend but not well enough to nark on me.

chiefs4me
03-25-2005, 01:07 PM
I would like to know what led to me becoming the nerd I am today. I am guessing the fact that I moved to a different city twice in my first ten years and then left an entire country behind after the age of 11 has something to do with it. I literally only had one one good friend in Scotland and only had/have a couple in the states. And they ARE ALL NERDS.


Where are you at in TX...what town or city are you by? I need to have my son and his friends take you out and about to find non nerd friends and learn how to hit on a woman.:thumb:

Claynus
03-25-2005, 01:08 PM
Where are you at in TX...what town or city are you by? I need to have my son and his friends take you out and about to find non nerd friends and learn how to hit on a woman.:thumb:

Spring, TX, just outside Houston.

chiefs4me
03-25-2005, 02:00 PM
Spring, TX, just outside Houston.



Well crap....I am 4 and half hours form Houston...I will think of something else.......:)

Claynus
03-25-2005, 02:01 PM
Well crap....I am 4 and half hours form Houston...I will think of something else.......:)

That's OK, I wasn't going to accept your offer anyway. I believe this is something I have to do on my own.

Delano
03-25-2005, 02:11 PM
That's OK, I wasn't going to accept your offer anyway. I believe this is something I have to do on my own.

When the hell are you planning on starting that? Life is short as you know. Can't you make friends with someone at work or something?

Claynus
03-25-2005, 02:14 PM
When the hell are you planning on starting that? Life is short as you know. Can't you make friends with someone at work or something?

I'll let you know when it happens, Dad.

Ari Chi3fs
03-25-2005, 03:24 PM
Well GoChiefs' you are a pretty funny guy, you just need to work on your bullshit filter... you dont have to say everything that comes to mind. Use your wit, and just try to be as cool as Phobia when talking to chicks, you are guaranteed to win a psycho or two.

Or just go to a bar, and do the ENDelt hefer plan. If they aint pushing 2hundy, go to a 24 buffet, you may find one there at the trough.