View Full Version : Best Confuscious lines

Mr. Flopnuts
03-25-2005, 08:14 PM
Please post your best Confuscious lines here.

Mr. Flopnuts
03-25-2005, 08:14 PM
I'll start it off, I just heard this today at the local watering hole.

Confuscious say man who farts in church must sit in his own pew.

03-25-2005, 08:14 PM
Man who fall asleep with itchy butt wake up with smelly finger.

03-25-2005, 08:17 PM
Baseball player with 4 balls, no can walk.

Hammock Parties
03-25-2005, 08:21 PM
Man who stick dick in peanut butter ****ing nuts!

Man who stand on toilet high on pot!

03-25-2005, 08:22 PM
Man with hand in pocket feel a little cocky.

03-25-2005, 08:23 PM
Man who fishes in other man's well often catches crabs.

Mr. Flopnuts
03-25-2005, 08:52 PM
Confuscious say virgins like balloons, one prick, all gone.

03-25-2005, 09:04 PM
Confucious say Chiefs should have sign Ed Hartwell.

03-25-2005, 10:01 PM
Confucious say, Man who lays naked woman on ground has Piece On Earth.

03-25-2005, 10:05 PM
Ancient Chinese secret.

Judge Smails
03-26-2005, 12:26 AM
Confucious say if you can't pee, then urine trouble.

T-post Tom
03-26-2005, 12:32 AM
Confuscious say, "Girl who fly plane upside down, have crack up."

03-26-2005, 12:45 AM
Man with tool in woman mouth May not necessarily be dentist.

Couple on 7-day honeymoon make hole weak.

Girl who marry Richard must kiss Dick.

Ahhhhh Soooo!

03-26-2005, 12:53 AM
Confucious says "Foolish man give wife grand piano. Wise man gives wife upright organ."

Confucious says "Take many nails to build crib,while only one screw to fill it.

03-26-2005, 01:00 AM
Man who excels at putting worm on hook is Master Baiter

Man young when he snatches kisses, old when he kisses snatches.

Man who loses key to lady's apartment get no new-key.

03-26-2005, 05:37 AM
Confucious say- one who bends over backwards can still get ****ed in ass.

Fire Me Boy!
03-26-2005, 05:42 AM
Confucius say man who get caught cheating on wife have more than his meat beaten.

Man who drop watch in toilet have shitty time all day long.

He who go through airport turnstile sideways going to bangkok.

03-26-2005, 10:27 AM
Confucius say man who meet girl in park will park meat in girl.

03-26-2005, 01:46 PM
Funny stuff.

03-26-2005, 01:52 PM
The Philosopher Confucius. 551-479 BC - many attributed and translated sayings and chinese proverbs.

Virtue is not left to stand alone. He who practices it will have neighbors.

Silence is a true friend who never betrays.

To go beyond is as wrong as to fall short.

If you look into your own heart, and you find nothing wrong there, what is there to worry about? What is there to fear?

He who speaks without modesty will find it difficult to make his words good.

I hear, I know. I see, I remember. I do, I understand.

Death and life have their determined appointments; riches and honors depend upon heaven.

Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life.

It is easy to hate and it is difficult to love. This is how the whole scheme of things works. All good things are difficult to achieve; and bad things are very easy to get.

It does not matter how slowly you go, so long as you do not stop.

A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.

Better a diamond with a flaw than a pebble without.

Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated

In a country well governed, poverty is something to be ashamed of. In a country badly governed, wealth is something to be ashamed of.

Ability will never catch up with the demand for it.

Real knowledge is to know the extent of ones ignorance.

To practice five things under all circumstances constitutes perfect virtue; these five are gravity, generosity of soul, sincerity, earnestness, and kindness.

Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.

When prosperity comes, do not use all of it.

He that would perfect his work must first sharpen his tools

Silence is a true friend who never betrays

It does not matter how slowly you go so long as you do not stop.

To know what is right and not to do it is the worst cowardice.

Everything has beauty but not everyone sees it.

The strength of a nation derives from the integrity of the home.

It is better to light one small candle than to curse the darkness.

It is more shameful to distrust our friends than to be deceived by them.

The father who does not teach his son his duties is equally guilty with the son who neglects them

To be wronged is nothing unless you continue to remember it.

To see and listen to the wicked is already the beginning of wickedness.

Worry not that no one knows of you; seek to be worth knowing