PDA

View Full Version : Hypothetical: You're a starship commander...


Rain Man
03-27-2005, 06:46 PM
You're the captain of the USS Jealriaseahr (named after your beloved 1,049th president), which is a 100-crew interstellar scout ship. Against the rules, you're having an inappropriate relationship with an enlisted navigation assistant in Deck 3, but that's a story for another time.

Your mission is to "explore new worlds and initiate contact with alien beings of lesser technological evolution."

During a tryst with Navigation Assistant LKJreak[ar]ar, your cries of "Faster! Faster!" were inadvertantly taken as an order to increase the speed of the ship. As a result, you find yourself in an uncharted star sector, where you are currently circling a terrestrial planet that the inhabitants call "Earth." You know that they're crude, but still powerful enough to blast a 100-crew ar3fjsioahtahrhr-class scout ship.

Where do you land?

Marco Polo
03-27-2005, 06:51 PM
Not in Arrowhead because CP couldn't seal the deal because health concerns of the ship! :banghead:

MichaelH
03-27-2005, 06:51 PM
New Jersey.
:)

DJay23
03-27-2005, 06:53 PM
France. It may smell funny, but I know they won't do shit to me or my crew besides make rude comments.

Bowser
03-27-2005, 06:55 PM
Antartica. It's where the second Stargate is.

4th and Long
03-27-2005, 06:58 PM
The first thing you do is have your second in command (that would be you in this case Rain Man) give the order to hang over the magnetic pole to avoid detection. Make it so, Number One.

Now before I can answer this question any further, I need to know the folllowing details.

Does the ship have weapons? If so, what kind?

Is the ship equipped with shields?

Does the ship have a cloaking device?

Does the ship have shuttle craft?

Do we have a matter/enegry converter device? (i.e. a transporter)

A captain has to know these things!

I'll be on Deck 3 .... errrr ... checking an airlock *nodnodnod* so let me know when you have some answers.

whoman69
03-27-2005, 07:01 PM
I'd land at Wrigley Field. I've heard they can't hit anything there.

Rain Man
03-27-2005, 07:08 PM
The first thing you do is have your second in command (that would be you in this case Rain Man) give the order to hang over the magnetic pole to avoid detection. Make it so, Number One.

Now before I can answer this question any further, I need to know the folllowing details.

Does the ship have weapons? If so, what kind?

It has two small rijieafishas and one arkifnjieoanr. Certainly not enough to battle the earthlings with, but good for getting rid of a pesky ckjarihe.
Is the ship equipped with shields?

Only the carniohfuihahr. Good enough for most purposes.
Does the ship have a cloaking device?

Yes. It's an 3ioairhauigyuig.
Does the ship have shuttle craft?

Two kaljrljnvvakjhrs, if you dare to use them for anything other than carimeaing or fearasraseraae.
Do we have a matter/enegry converter device? (i.e. a transporter)

Just a mklahrioheafsioe. Only good for delivering pizzas.
A captain has to know these things!

I'll be on Deck 3 .... errrr ... checking an airlock *nodnodnod* so let me know when you have some answers.

Bowser
03-27-2005, 07:11 PM
Didn't realize this was a Swedish ship. At least they know what time it is.

The Pedestrian
03-27-2005, 10:37 PM
To use the two biggest cliches involving spaceships landing on Earth: either Washington D.C. or some random farm.

Count Alex's Losses
03-27-2005, 10:40 PM
This is one of your best polls ever, Mr. Precipitation.

Nightfyre
03-27-2005, 10:43 PM
Antartica. It's where the second Stargate is.
It really had to be said.

Count Alex's Losses
03-27-2005, 10:48 PM
I'd make a quick flyby of Denver to destroy Invesco Field with a blast from the forward zisofsosdimflan banks before landing in the middle of the biggest populated area in the United States.

After initiating contact and absorbing as much Earth culture as possible we'd round up a few dozen Earth slaves to run the crlaoasdplam so we don't get hungry.

On our way out of earth orbit quick stops in Oakland and LA to obliterate any possible sites for Raider football with several well-placed volleys from the glimsofanzrashes. Last chore before leaving is to beam up John Elway so he can be violently anally probed for the rest of his life.

Delano
03-27-2005, 10:51 PM
You just gotta land on some farm, Men in Black style, and then take over the body of some hick.

That would be sweet, plus you get to drive around in that groovy pest removal truck.

trndobrd
03-28-2005, 01:35 AM
On stage with George Clinton.

Rausch
03-28-2005, 01:50 AM
You're the captain of the USS Jealriaseahr (named after your beloved 1,049th president), which is a 100-crew interstellar scout ship. Against the rules, you're having an inappropriate relationship with an enlisted navigation assistant in Deck 3, but that's a story for another time.

Your mission is to "explore new worlds and initiate contact with alien beings of lesser technological evolution."

During a tryst with Navigation Assistant LKJreak[ar]ar, your cries of "Faster! Faster!" were inadvertantly taken as an order to increase the speed of the ship. As a result, you find yourself in an uncharted star sector, where you are currently circling a terrestrial planet that the inhabitants call "Earth." You know that they're crude, but still powerful enough to blast a 100-crew ar3fjsioahtahrhr-class scout ship.

Where do you land?

Vegas.

No one would even notice...

Digital Takawira
03-28-2005, 05:12 AM
I'd make a quick flyby of Denver to destroy Invesco Field with a blast from the forward zisofsosdimflan banks before landing in the middle of the biggest populated area in the United States.

On our way out of earth orbit quick stops in Oakland and LA to obliterate any possible sites for Raider football with several well-placed volleys from the glimsofanzrashes. Last chore before leaving is to beam up John Elway so he can be violently anally probed for the rest of his life.


:clap:

it would be best to do it when they're playing each other, that way there's no innocent victims on the field or in the stands.