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Fire Me Boy!
04-02-2005, 02:16 AM
Poor Barbie
by Betsy Gallup

Poor Barbie, she may someday marry Ken, but chances are, they will never have children. Based on research done by Rader Programs, the percent of Barbie's body fat would be so low, she would have ceased to menstruate--that is if she ever started. She has been grossly underweight since the beginning.

If Barbie were a real person, she would be 6' 0", weigh 100 lbs., and wear a size 4. Her measurements would be 39"/19"/33". My four-month-olds' heads measure 17 1/2". She would probably have had to have back surgery from being so top heavy.

The average woman is 5' 4", weighs 145 lbs., and wears between a size 11-14. Her measurements are approximately 36"/30"/41". There is a fifty-fifty chance that she is on a diet right now.

After spending her childhood playing with Barbie, watching models and actresses who stand 5' 11" and weight 117 lbs. sell them on the idea of the perfect body.



I don't think I would... I'm not that big on giant boobs and I think doing her would be like scraping bone. If I can figure it out, I'm going to try a poll.

Fire Me Boy!
04-02-2005, 02:17 AM
I screwed up the poll... I suck.

Joe Seahawk
04-02-2005, 02:20 AM
I might try..

Fire Me Boy!
04-02-2005, 02:23 AM
I dated a girl who weighed about the same... had much less boobage and was about 5 inches shorter... she was fun (and a gymnist), but I think if you put a lot more boobs on her, that weight would be up there instead of dispursed throughout her body and would be kinda nasty.

Fire Me Boy!
04-02-2005, 02:24 AM
Can a Mod make me a poll? I'm a 'tard.

Rausch
04-02-2005, 03:06 AM
I screwed up the poll... I suck.

You should probably see an expert about that...

Fire Me Boy!
04-02-2005, 03:07 AM
You should probably see an expert about that...
Thanks... :shake:

You could at least answer the question...

Taco John
04-02-2005, 03:08 AM
You realize that Barbie doesn't have the proper equipment for boning right? You'd just be screwing between her legs.

Fire Me Boy!
04-02-2005, 03:09 AM
You realize that Barbie doesn't have the proper equipment for boning right? You'd just be screwing between her legs.
We're assuming she's a real person. :banghead:

Rausch
04-02-2005, 03:09 AM
Thanks... :shake:

You could at least answer the question...

Fair enough.

I don't **** skeletons...

Rausch
04-02-2005, 03:10 AM
You realize that Barbie doesn't have the proper equipment for boning right? You'd just be screwing between her legs.

That is where I tend to do my-.......OOOOOOOOOooooooh...Yer like that...

Simplex3
04-02-2005, 03:15 AM
We're assuming she's a real person. :banghead:
No way. That bitch is way too high maintenance. Come on, an RV, a VW, AND a Corvette? All those clothes and jewelry? A f**king house in Malibu? Forget it, you can't afford her.

Christ, it's never enough with this b**ch. NOW she needs a Chevy SSR with a huge cd player in the bed:

http://barbie.everythinggirl.com/images/catalog/products/G6068_9993_main.jpg

Rausch
04-02-2005, 03:27 AM
No way. That bitch is way too high maintenance. Come on, an RV, a VW, AND a Corvette? All those clothes and jewelry? A f**king house in Malibu? Forget it, you can't afford her.

Christ, it's never enough with this b**ch. NOW she needs a Chevy SSR with a huge cd player in the bed:

http://barbie.everythinggirl.com/images/catalog/products/G6068_9993_main.jpg

Sell that to someone who'll believe it.

That's a chick asking for a starfish-pounding if I've ever seen one...

BIG_DADDY
04-02-2005, 03:32 AM
No way. That bitch is way too high maintenance. Come on, an RV, a VW, AND a Corvette? All those clothes and jewelry? A f**king house in Malibu? Forget it, you can't afford her.

Christ, it's never enough with this b**ch. NOW she needs a Chevy SSR with a huge cd player in the bed:

http://barbie.everythinggirl.com/images/catalog/products/G6068_9993_main.jpg

He asked if you would bone her, not marry her you tard. ROFL


Obviously this article was written by an angry fat women who is using the average obese American woman as a "normal" example.

Rausch
04-02-2005, 03:38 AM
Obviously this article was written by an angry fat women who is using the average obese American woman as a "normal" example.

Thanks BIG_DADDUHNESE...

chappy
04-02-2005, 03:45 AM
you mean to tell me there is a barbie you can bone now!!!! wow... where do i get it?

BIG_DADDY
04-02-2005, 03:55 AM
Oh the humanity. What other unreasonable pressures will these beasts know as the American male put upon these poor helpless women. :deevee:

BIG_DADDY
04-02-2005, 03:56 AM
I'll take a quater pounder, a large order of fries and a coke, diet please.

Fire Me Boy!
04-02-2005, 03:56 AM
All I wanted to know was whether given the chance, if you'd do Barbie (assuming she's real with a real woman's parts).

chappy
04-02-2005, 04:01 AM
thats simple hell yes!!!!!!
i would do her as long as she had a mouth and could swallow

BIG_DADDY
04-02-2005, 04:04 AM
All I wanted to know was whether given the chance, if you'd do Barbie (assuming she's real with a real woman's parts).

Based upon these ridiculous assumptions some femanatzi's put together to make men feel bad about the fact their expectations of women are unrealistic and cruel? OK, I don't know about you but the closest thing I can think of right now that resembles a real life barbie were those early pictures of Pamela Anderson before the boob job when she was real young. If you aren't going to hit that your gay.

chappy
04-02-2005, 04:05 AM
if barbie was real no "average" women would have a purpose at least to me... hell average women have no purpose to me now. i go for the really hot ones with psychological problems