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Rain Man
04-03-2005, 01:25 PM
I went to the Denver Auto Show yesterday, and realized that my life is not complete. Like a child living in a Peruvian slum, or an orphan wandering the dusty streets of Dacca, I am missing out on an opportunity to make the most of my potential, to be the full person that I could be. I am seeking your help to make my dreams a reality.

I need to be prowling the streets in a 500-horsepower Ford GT. It is what I was meant to do. I ask this not for myself, but rather to make other people happy. When I park, people will come up and ask to see the car, and they will go away with smiles on their faces. Chicks will dig me, and that will make the world a better place for all balding, 40+ men with slight potbellies. Men and women of all ages and shapes will learn that anyone can be considered attractive if only they make enough money to buy a cool car.

I ask this not just for myself, and not just for other bald, potbellied men. I seek this dream for the American automobile industry, so that workers in Detroit and Kansas City and Mexico and hold up their heads and say to their wives and children, "I CAN build a car that will compete with the Germans and the Japanese. I CAN build a car that people will buy, and other people will envy."

So you see, I am an unselfish person. I want to help others, and the best way to do that is to obtain - and regularly drive - a Ford GT.

So how can you help? You may not have the $140,000 purchase price to donate, and I understand that. In order to facilitate the processs, we here at Rain Man Charities have developed the following donation levels, so that you may give to your greatest extent and share in the happiness that this gift will bring.

If you give at the:

$25 level, you will receive a high-quality, embossed thank-you note, signed personally by Rain Man

$100 level, you will receive the signed thank you card, plus an autographed photo of Rain Man behind the wheel of his Ford GT

$1,00 level, you will receive all of the above, PLUS you will be allowed to view the Ford GT in Rain Man's garage, and sit behind the wheel for up to five minutes the next time you visit Denver.

$10,000 level, you will receive all of the above, PLUS you will be taken for a ride of up to 2 miles by Rain Man the next time you visit Denver.

$50,000 level, you will receive all of the above, PLUS you will be allowed to drive the Ford GT (accompanied by Rain Man) for a road trip of up to 10 miles the next time you visit Denver.

$100,000 level, Rain Man will drive the Ford GT personally to your home to receive all of the above services, PLUS he will send you his own one-of-a-kind crayon drawing of himself in the vehicle.

Please make your check to Rain Man Ford GT Charities. We are pleased to announce that we now take all major credit cards as well.

So please, do what you can, and make a Rain Man's dream come true.



http://www.rsportscars.com/foto/05/fordgt05_09.jpg

http://www.rsportscars.com/foto/05/fordgt05_inter.jpg

http://www.rsportscars.com/foto/05/fordgt05_01_800.jpg

KCWolfman
04-03-2005, 01:29 PM
Hell, I was going to chip in $47,534 in spare nickels until I saw you were getting the white model.

Phobia
04-03-2005, 01:30 PM
I especially like the blow dryer for my balls.

http://www.rsportscars.com/foto/05/fordgt05_inter.jpg

unlurking
04-03-2005, 01:44 PM
*Disclaimer*

Rain Man Charities retains full ownership and rights over your personal information to do with as he wishes.

*Disclaimer*

luv
04-03-2005, 01:48 PM
I could mention that you could make donations to another worthy cause (say, ummm, the Relay For Life benefiting the American Cancer Society), but I don't want to take away from this wonderful cause. But, just in case you ARE interested, click on the link in my sig below. :)

4th and Long
04-03-2005, 01:49 PM
What the hell. Let's see how much I have to donate to this worthy cause.

*digging deep in pocket, extracting contents*

http://www.bobborden.com/diary/images/lint.jpg

What do I get for pocket lint?

4th and Long
04-03-2005, 01:51 PM
I could mention that you could make donations to another worthy cause (say, ummm, the Relay For Life benefiting the American Cancer Society), but I don't want to take away from this wonderful cause. But, just in case you ARE interested, click on the link in my sig below. :)
I already give. My mother is a Canver survivor.

BTW, you just hijacked a thread for your own interest. Congratulations. You are now officially a member of The Planet. :D

BigRedChief
04-03-2005, 01:59 PM
White? Neg rep for that. WTF are you thinking?

Just get the Mustang V6 that goes 0-60 in 5 seconds like the rest of us. What makes you so special? :p

Rain Man
04-03-2005, 02:09 PM
Rain Man Charities thanks the public for your contributions to date. We are on our way to our goal.

http://www.entropyfarm.org/software/thermo/thermo.php?max=140000&current=1&unit=36

We would also like to dispel the persistent rumors that the Ford GT will be white. No decision has yet been made on vehicle color. We will likely post a public poll for contributors to select the proper color for the Ford GT from the following choices.

http://www.fordvehicles.com/fordgt/colorselector.asp

Hoover
04-03-2005, 02:14 PM
Sorry I thought this was about Republican Fundraising, I'll just move along :D

Skip Towne
04-03-2005, 02:25 PM
$140,000 for a FORD? Hahahahahahahahehehehehehehahahahaha.

Rain Man
04-03-2005, 02:32 PM
$140,000 for a FORD? Hahahahahahahahehehehehehehahahahaha.

Thank you for your pledge.

go bowe
04-03-2005, 03:35 PM
i checked those colors on the link and there's no apricot...

for $140,000 i'd expect to be able to get apricot...

Demonpenz
04-03-2005, 06:44 PM
Hell, I was going to chip in $47,534 in spare nickels until I saw you were getting the white model.


must be the nba special edition

KCWolfman
04-03-2005, 06:46 PM
i checked those colors on the link and there's no apricot...

for $140,000 i'd expect to be able to get apricot...
LMAO

morphius
04-03-2005, 06:48 PM
Sure Rain Man, you for one already have stated that you don't care about performance, so but an old gt40 kit car and go that route. Second, if you can't be trusted with a bicycle, why the heck would we trust you with one of these beauties?

KCWolfman
04-03-2005, 06:55 PM
Sure Rain Man, you for one already have stated that you don't care about performance, so but an old gt40 kit car and go that route. Second, if you can't be trusted with a bicycle, why the heck would we trust you with one of these beauties?
Good point.

Perhaps we should start him with this and let him work his way up.

http://www.gearboxtoys.com/images/Marx-Big-Wheel.jpg

morphius
04-03-2005, 06:57 PM
Good point.

Perhaps we should start him with this and let him work his way up.

http://www.gearboxtoys.com/images/Marx-Big-Wheel.jpg
LOL! Just had my son out on his yesterday.

KCWolfman
04-03-2005, 06:59 PM
LOL! Just had my son out on his yesterday.
Did he have it stolen?

Count Zarth
04-03-2005, 07:14 PM
I especially like the blow dryer for my balls.

http://www.rsportscars.com/foto/05/fordgt05_inter.jpg

You have nine balls?

Bowser
04-03-2005, 07:29 PM
This anger inside you needs to be let go of. You will never see the bike again, and replacing it with silly, expensive possesions will never bring it back.......

milkman
04-03-2005, 07:31 PM
You have nine balls?

It's one of the side effects of Viagara that Bob Dole conveniently left out of his commercial.

Rain Man
04-03-2005, 08:08 PM
We're making progress. Be sure to send your check to Rain Man charities before April 15th to incorrectly take your deductions for the 2004 tax year.

http://www.entropyfarm.org/software/thermo/thermo.php?max=140000&current=2&unit=36

KCWolfman
04-03-2005, 08:29 PM
We're making progress. Be sure to send your check to Rain Man charities before April 15th to incorrectly take your deductions for the 2004 tax year.

http://www.entropyfarm.org/software/thermo/thermo.php?max=140000&current=2&unit=36
We have to put up with this for another 139,998 days?

Ari Chi3fs
04-03-2005, 08:56 PM
this thread is golden.

BigRedChief
04-03-2005, 09:02 PM
2006 Ford GT Kicks Off Anniversary Celebration of History 1-2-3 Victory Sweep at LE Mans in 1966

http://www.allfordmustangs.com/artman/publish/2006_Ford_GT_Kicks_Off_Anniversary_Celebration.shtml

ENDelt260
04-03-2005, 09:13 PM
What's wrong with white?

When I was back in Rolla for Pat's I learned that one of my fraternity brothers is buying a Lotus. A f*cking Lotus.

I wish I was smart enough to be a chemical engineer.

Rain Man
04-03-2005, 09:18 PM
Actually, I think white looks cool on this car, but I need to cover my bases during the fundraising phase.

A Lotus? Those are cool cars. Way cool. Not worth being a chemical engineer eight hours a day, though. What a boring profession.

PastorMikH
04-03-2005, 09:43 PM
Kev, I am in the process of writing the check out now. (I would have written it right after you first put up the thread but for some reason the server got too busy - probably from all those pics you put up). After looking over the options, I'm probably never going to be in Denver to get to drive the car so I opted for the 100k option. I want to get the check off to you right away but will need you to hold the check for me. I am post-dating it for April 3, 2075. If you could hold it until then I would really appreciate it.

Since I'm the first to donate such a large amount, I was hoping you could arange a meeting sometime in the next month to come down and let me take it for that spin.

Thanks

PastorMikH

Rain Man
04-03-2005, 10:00 PM
Dear Mr. Pastormikh,

Thank you very much for your contribution to Rain Man Charities, Inc.. A representative from Rain Man Charities, Inc. will contact you in the near future to arrange your drive.

Sincerely,

The Staff at Rain Man Charities, Inc.

ENDelt260
04-03-2005, 10:02 PM
A 100K donor gets a form letter? You don't have many repeat donors, do you?

PastorMikH
04-03-2005, 10:03 PM
Dear Mr. Pastormikh,

Thank you very much for your contribution to Rain Man Charities, Inc.. A representative from Rain Man Charities, Inc. will contact you in the near future to arrange your drive.

Sincerely,

The Staff at Rain Man Charities, Inc.



HEY! DON'T CASH THAT CHECK YET!!!

Rain Man
04-03-2005, 10:06 PM
Dear Mr. Endelt420,

Thank you very much for your interest in Rain Man Charities, Inc.. While we appreciate your concerns,Rain Man Charities, Inc. must take certain measures to contain costs and ensure that a maximum amount of funding goes to our core mission.

Sincerely,

The Staff at Rain Man Charities, Inc.

ENDelt260
04-03-2005, 10:09 PM
Heh... 420.

CosmicPal
04-03-2005, 10:50 PM
You know, a non-profit organization is a very, very profitable and rewarding venture. It is literally federal and locally tax-exempt. You can solicit public monies all you want- usually done through public and/or private grants, and it is a limited liability company- meaning you, as the founder and director are not responsible for debts.

Every hard-working American should have a sports car of their dreams. Kevin, it is you, who should start a non-profit organization to supply a $140,000 vehicle, each month, to someone who rightfully deserves a sports car of their dreams, but otherwise cannot afford one. Someone who's a responsible father to his children, a loving and supportive husband to his wife, a respectable, honest, and hard-working guy to his employer, and a saint to his community. There are a ton of these guys- a lot of them right here on ChiefsPlanet.

Through the public and private grants, your non-profit organization can reap the benefits of accumulating monies while providing a service to your community. All the while, you are raking in the dough. And with this newfound wealth- you too can buy yourself a $140,000.00 vehicle!

Every hard-working American male should have his inherent dreams of owning a studly sports car. You can make it happen.

Inspector
04-03-2005, 11:01 PM
eh, you'll poke your eye out with that thing.

luv
04-03-2005, 11:17 PM
Damn it!!! He's already $2 ahead of me!!!!!

trndobrd
04-04-2005, 02:42 AM
We're making progress. Be sure to send your check to Rain Man charities before April 15th to incorrectly take your deductions for the 2004 tax year.

http://www.entropyfarm.org/software/thermo/thermo.php?max=140000&current=2&unit=36


Looks like things are moving kinda slow. What you need is celebrity spokesperson to get those donations flowing.

BigRedChief
04-04-2005, 05:11 AM
eh, you'll poke your eye out with that thing.
ROFL . Rep