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View Full Version : Well, this is embarrassing....


CosmicPal
04-04-2005, 01:52 PM
I've been sitting here in my office all day long wondering what that awful smell was. I knew it was on me somewhere, but I couldn't figure it out.

Since I have a couple of dogs at home, I had to wonder if one of the dogs did something to my slacks or my shirt. But, I couldn't find anything.

Depending upon how I would sit in my office chair would determine whether or not I could smell the terrible smell. So, I did the unthinkable-I wondered if it was at all possible- did I soil my own pants? Uggggh.

Well, someone came up to me a few minutes ago and I leaned back in my chair and put my feet up on my knee. And that's when I noticed the culprit- dog poop!!

Dammit. Dog poop on my $120.00 casual dress shoes. The worst of it was, I have this soles with like those inch deep crevaces and I couldn't get the damn poop out of the crevaces. So, I'm standing there in the men's room trying to dig this sh*t out of my shoes while men are coming and going without saying anything other than giving me a weird look. Paper towel just doesn't work as well as I had first thought.

Oh well, I got most of it off. More importantly, the smell is gone. Just another manic Monday.

Dartgod
04-04-2005, 01:53 PM
A poop thread. Excellent!

Saulbadguy
04-04-2005, 01:54 PM
This story would have been alot better if you stuck with the "I shat myself" punchline.

Baby Lee
04-04-2005, 01:54 PM
This story would have been alot better if you stuck with the "I shat myself" punchline.
Dude! We gotta go!! I think I just sharted!!!

Simplex3
04-04-2005, 01:55 PM
ROFL

Now it's in your car, on the floor of your office, sprinkling on the papers on your desk....

Just think of all the places you've put your shoes today.

:D

Pants
04-04-2005, 01:55 PM
Time to bust out those poems, BL. You might be the best poo poet I've ever seen.

ENDelt260
04-04-2005, 01:56 PM
Dude! We gotta go!! I think I just sharted!!!
Haha. I'd call you out for having seen that movie if it wasn't for the fact that doing so would reveal I have, too.

ChiefsCountry
04-04-2005, 01:56 PM
I thought this was going to be a Royals thread.

penguinz
04-04-2005, 01:56 PM
http://img22.exs.cx/img22/2537/dec15iq.jpg

Baby Lee
04-04-2005, 01:58 PM
Time to bust out those poems, BL. You might be the best poo poet I've ever seen.
New shoes from Bass
Now smell like ass.

wilas101
04-04-2005, 01:59 PM
I would have hunted around the office for a co-worker who kept a toothbrush at their desk.

Depending on who it was I might have returned it too.

siberian khatru
04-04-2005, 01:59 PM
This story would have been alot better if you stuck with the "I shat myself" punchline.

I think Bob Dole would have had to take over at that point.

Hoover
04-04-2005, 01:59 PM
$120.00 casual dress shoes?

Key word Casual

I send 120 to 150 on my dress shoes, but for Casual shoes I stop at 80.

Start buying cheap shoes so you can buy a house.

jcroft
04-04-2005, 01:59 PM
This thread is worthless without pictures.

Baby Lee
04-04-2005, 02:05 PM
New shoes from Bass
Now smell like ass.
Topsiders by Sperry
The perfect place to leave a dingleberry.

CosmicPal
04-04-2005, 02:07 PM
ROFL

Now it's in your car, on the floor of your office, sprinkling on the papers on your desk....

Just think of all the places you've put your shoes today.

:D


:banghead:

I bet it is on my floorboard in my car....haven't noticed anything on the office floor.

ENDelt260
04-04-2005, 02:21 PM
$120.00 casual dress shoes?

Key word Casual

I send 120 to 150 on my dress shoes, but for Casual shoes I stop at 80.

Start buying cheap shoes so you can buy a house.
I didn't think about it until this post... but, I bet the shoes I'm wearing right now were in the $120 neighborhood. They're most definitely "casual".

Course, I bought 'em something like three years ago. I figure it's okay to drop a c-note on some shoes if they're gonna last a few years.

JimNasium
04-04-2005, 02:23 PM
Iowanian would have made this a poem.

Simplex3
04-04-2005, 02:23 PM
:banghead:

I bet it is on my floorboard in my car....haven't noticed anything on the office floor.
Hey, just think, it's pretty warm outside. That poo on the carpet has been out there cooking in a closed up car all day...

:evil:

CosmicPal
04-04-2005, 02:30 PM
Hey, just think, it's pretty warm outside. That poo on the carpet has been out there cooking in a closed up car all day...

:evil:

Luckily for me- I have a parking space in the company garage.

Chiefnj
04-04-2005, 02:30 PM
I find it interesting that when you were attempting to discover the source of the odor that you first checked to see if you crapped yourself. Only after that failed to lead you to the source of the vile oder did you then check your shoes. I think most people would check their shoes first, and then wonder if they sharted.

bkkcoh
04-04-2005, 02:36 PM
I find it interesting that when you were attempting to discover the source of the odor that you first checked to see if you crapped yourself. Only after that failed to lead you to the source of the vile oder did you then check your shoes. I think most people would check their shoes first, and then wonder if they sharted.


Unless he had issues with that before.....

Maybe this gives us a sad look into his life..... and personal habits..

CosmicPal
04-04-2005, 02:42 PM
I find it interesting that when you were attempting to discover the source of the odor that you first checked to see if you crapped yourself. Only after that failed to lead you to the source of the vile oder did you then check your shoes. I think most people would check their shoes first, and then wonder if they sharted.

Read it again....it wasn't the FIRST source, it was the LAST source.

badgirl
04-04-2005, 02:43 PM
You probably tracked it on your cars carpet. ROFL

CosmicPal
04-04-2005, 02:46 PM
You probably tracked it on your cars carpet. ROFL

Yes, we already established that...thank you.

Edubs
04-04-2005, 02:49 PM
One day there were 3 blonds taking a walk in the park when all of a sudden they see some dog poop the first blond goes up to it and smells it and says smells like dog poop.the second one goes up and feels the poop and says feels like dog poop. and the third one goes up and tatses it and says tatses like dog poop sure glad we didn't step in it.

splatbass
04-04-2005, 02:54 PM
One day there were 3 blonds taking a walk in the park when all of a sudden they see some dog poop the first blond goes up to it and smells it and says smells like dog poop.the second one goes up and feels the poop and says feels like dog poop. and the third one goes up and tatses it and says tatses like dog poop sure glad we didn't step in it.


Old Cheech and Chong bit....and it was funnier when they did it.

ENDelt260
04-04-2005, 02:55 PM
Old Cheech and Chong bit....and it was funnier when they did it.
That's just cause you were stoned.

splatbass
04-04-2005, 02:58 PM
That's just cause you were stoned.

You have a point, it was the '70s....

Chiefnj
04-04-2005, 03:00 PM
Read it again....it wasn't the FIRST source, it was the LAST source.

It was before you checked your shoes. That's troubling.

Bob Dole
04-04-2005, 03:00 PM
Damn.

Bob Dole opened this thread thinking it was another Royals discussion.

ENDelt260
04-04-2005, 03:01 PM
Damn.

Bob Dole opened this thread thinking it was another Royals discussion.
ChiefsCountry made the same mistake a couple hours ago.

Edubs
04-04-2005, 03:02 PM
Just don't wear shoes. You will know when you step in the poop next time.

Simplex3
04-04-2005, 03:04 PM
Just don't wear shoes. You will know when you step in the poop next time.
I've done that before, I don't recommend it.

JimNasium
04-04-2005, 03:10 PM
I've done that before, I don't recommend it.
I stepped in a hairball with bare feet one time. I had to floss the nasty shit from between my toes with a washcloth.

Braincase
04-04-2005, 03:12 PM
Cue 12 bar blues...

"I got the dog shit blues and I don't know what to do..."

CosmicPal
04-04-2005, 03:12 PM
Don't worry Rocko, there's no adult diapers here. I can assure you of that....an FYI, do you really honestly believe I checked my pants? I said I "wondered" about the possibility. Having stepped in dog poop before in my lifetime, one usually knows when they're walking around with poop on the soles of their shoes. In this case, I didn't know since it all fed into the crevices of my soles.

Can't believe I'm actually defending myself here... :shake:

ENDelt260
04-04-2005, 03:13 PM
Whatever you say, Mr. Poopypants.

Mr. Kotter
04-04-2005, 03:19 PM
I've found toothbrushes work well in those situations. Just don't use your own....heh.

Mr. Kotter
04-04-2005, 03:20 PM
$120.00 casual dress shoes?

Key word Casual

I send 120 to 150 on my dress shoes, but for Casual shoes I stop at 80.

Start buying cheap shoes so you can buy a house.

Rockports run $120...but are worth every penny; and they last forever, if you resole them.

Mr. Kotter
04-04-2005, 03:22 PM
.... I think most people would check their shoes first, and then wonder if they sharted.

Incontinence strikes hippies early... :p

CosmicPal
04-04-2005, 03:23 PM
Whatever you say, Mr. Poopypants.

ROFL

Same to you, Sh*t For Brains....

Earthling
04-04-2005, 03:47 PM
It sounds like a smear campaign.

Baby Lee
04-04-2005, 04:07 PM
Best footwear I've ever encountered. Pricey [tho I got them at an outlet for mucho>$]. But I swear I've had them for 5 years, wear them more than any other shoe [usually 4-5 days a week, EVERY week for the past five years], and I could slip them back on the shelf at the store and people wouldn't notice. They have a sole made by Goodyear, and a suede that is impossible strong. I mean 5 YEARS!!! and no scratches, dings, tears, loose stitching. Nothing to suggest they've ever been worn. Even the sole is pristine, which is impossible with my crappy gait.
You know, the eyelets [suede only, not with the steel reinforcment ring] aren't even stretched.
At times, I wonder if they are possessed or something.
http://couture.zappos.com/images/137/7129137/63114-d.jpg
http://couture.zappos.com/n/p/dp/2397111/c/7686.html

Rain Man
04-04-2005, 04:36 PM
Having met cosmic, I still think he may have soiled himself in addition to the shoe smell.

ENDelt260
04-04-2005, 04:54 PM
Best footwear I've ever encountered. Pricey [tho I got them at an outlet for mucho>$]. But I swear I've had them for 5 years, wear them more than any other shoe [usually 4-5 days a week, EVERY week for the past five years], and I could slip them back on the shelf at the store and people wouldn't notice. They have a sole made by Goodyear, and a suede that is impossible strong. I mean 5 YEARS!!! and no scratches, dings, tears, loose stitching. Nothing to suggest they've ever been worn. Even the sole is pristine, which is impossible with my crappy gait.
You know, the eyelets [suede only, not with the steel reinforcment ring] aren't even stretched.
At times, I wonder if they are possessed or something.
http://couture.zappos.com/images/137/7129137/63114-d.jpg
http://couture.zappos.com/n/p/dp/2397111/c/7686.html
Holy f*ck. $200? This thread has me thinking I deserve a new pair of shoes, and your post had me sold on those... I know you said pricey... but, somehow I still wasn't prepared for that.

Bob Dole
04-04-2005, 04:58 PM
Best footwear I've ever encountered. Pricey [tho I got them at an outlet for mucho>$]. But I swear I've had them for 5 years, wear them more than any other shoe [usually 4-5 days a week, EVERY week for the past five years], and I could slip them back on the shelf at the store and people wouldn't notice. They have a sole made by Goodyear, and a suede that is impossible strong. I mean 5 YEARS!!! and no scratches, dings, tears, loose stitching. Nothing to suggest they've ever been worn. Even the sole is pristine, which is impossible with my crappy gait.
You know, the eyelets [suede only, not with the steel reinforcment ring] aren't even stretched.
At times, I wonder if they are possessed or something.
http://couture.zappos.com/images/137/7129137/63114-d.jpg
http://couture.zappos.com/n/p/dp/2397111/c/7686.html

If Bob Dole is going to drop $200+ on a pair of shoes, they damned well better come in a B width.

Bob Dole
04-04-2005, 04:59 PM
Holy f*ck. $200? This thread has me thinking I deserve a new pair of shoes, and your post had me sold on those... I know you said pricey... but, somehow I still wasn't prepared for that.

Did you already wear out those thpecial thoes you bought lath year?

CosmicPal
04-04-2005, 05:07 PM
Having met cosmic, I still think he may have soiled himself in addition to the shoe smell.

OUCH.

You must be referring to the time I first laid eyes on your apricot-colored BMW.

ENDelt260
04-04-2005, 05:10 PM
Did you already wear out those thpecial thoes you bought lath year?
The original gay sandals did indeed already wear out. I bought a new pair while I was living in Tucson and bumped the thread to announce it.

http://www.chiefsplanet.com/BB/showthread.php?p=1917438

Baby Lee
04-04-2005, 05:13 PM
Holy f*ck. $200? This thread has me thinking I deserve a new pair of shoes, and your post had me sold on those... I know you said pricey... but, somehow I still wasn't prepared for that.
You know, seeing the MSRP and knowing nothing about them, I'd say the same thing. But I got them at the Dillards outlet when it was still at The Great Mall of the Great Plains. They were having a 75% off fire sale, and they had been marked down to $150, so I got them for $38. But I swear to you, no $200 I spent on shoes cumulatively comes close to the quality and durability of these boots.
MoF, I took a pic with my phone. The picture quality isn't the best, but I swear, these boots have 5 years of day-in, day-out use. And no rigorous 'suede maintenance,' I might add. They're really superhuman.

Rain Man
04-04-2005, 05:21 PM
You know, seeing the MSRP and knowing nothing about them, I'd say the same thing. But I got them at the Dillards outlet when it was still at The Great Mall of the Great Plains. They were having a 75% off fire sale, and they had been marked down to $150, so I got them for $38. But I swear to you, no $200 I spent on shoes cumulatively comes close to the quality and durability of these boots.
MoF, I took a pic with my phone. The picture quality isn't the best, but I swear, these boots have 5 years of day-in, day-out use. And no rigorous 'suede maintenance,' I might add. They're really superhuman.


Few things in life are as satisfying as getting a great deal on a comfortable pair of shoes.

Baby Lee
04-04-2005, 05:24 PM
Few things in life are as satisfying as getting a great deal on a comfortable pair of shoes.
And the thing is, if there was a gun to my head and someone saying "you must buy a new pair of boots right now," I'd plunk down the double deuce for another pair of those in a heartbeat.

Loki
04-04-2005, 05:46 PM
Incontinence strikes hippies early... :p

doh...