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View Full Version : Benny Hinn - what's the deal?


Rain Man
04-08-2005, 10:22 PM
I'm watching this, and I can't look away. He's in Singapore or some place, and he's got these little old Chinese ladies running around and he's just healed them from all sorts of ailments and stuff.

How does he get away with this stuff? I thought the whole faith healer shtick went out decades ago. I hope the aliens aren't picking up these TV signals, because as an earthling I find this embarrassing.

Rain Man
04-08-2005, 10:24 PM
Now he's apparently healing people across the TV. If you have lower back trouble, he's healing you, so go to his channel now.

Now he's moved on to people with growths on the backs of their heads. If you're watching and you've got a rear head growth, you should start watching.

Michael Michigan
04-08-2005, 10:24 PM
But you're still watching...

;)

Hey--you've haven't written a check yet have you?

Rain Man
04-08-2005, 10:26 PM
It's not a donation, but he's selling a film about Jesus for $50.

Michael Michigan
04-08-2005, 10:28 PM
It's not a donation, but he's selling a film about Jesus for $50.

US Dollars?

Rain Man
04-08-2005, 10:28 PM
He needs to heal some more people, but he can't do it without money.

Michael Michigan
04-08-2005, 10:30 PM
He needs to heal some more people, but he can't do it without money.

We call those people...doctors.

Hey--will insurance pay for this?

Rain Man
04-08-2005, 10:34 PM
Uh-oh. Benny Hinn is now off.

Oh! Oh! Kenneth Copeland is on! This guy weirds me out. He looks like Darren Stephens occupied by demons.

http://www.cfaith.com/Graphics/KennethCopeland_Couple.jpg

Bwana
04-08-2005, 10:36 PM
I was flipping through stations a few months back and took in about 5 minutes of his crap. After I stopped laughing, I kind of felt sorry for the suckers that think he is "the hand of God." What a low test shill.

Rain Man
04-08-2005, 10:37 PM
Here's a picture of Kenneth Copeland WITH Benny Hinn. I'm not sure who's healing whom.

http://www.antiochchurches.org/images/KennethBenny2.jpg

Bwana
04-08-2005, 10:38 PM
Here's a picture of Kenneth Copeland WITH Benny Hinn. I'm not sure who's healing whom.



ROFL

Rain Man
04-08-2005, 10:40 PM
I'm still not sure who's healing whom. I think God just sucker punched Kenneth.

http://www.antiochchurches.org/images/Benny-Kenneth.jpg

Fat Elvis
04-08-2005, 10:41 PM
I don't know why, but when I first read the thread, I was thinking about Benny Hill, not Benny Hinn. The thought of little chinese ladies running around Benny Hill with that zany music just made me crack up for some reason.

Rain Man
04-08-2005, 10:42 PM
Now Benny's going to heal Evander Holyfield! Give him back his ear! Cast it forward from the mouth of Mike Tyson!

http://www.antiochchurches.org/images/BennyEvander.jpg

Rain Man
04-08-2005, 10:43 PM
Whammo! God just nailed Evander Holyfield! God and Benny Hinn in the third round!

http://www.antiochchurches.org/images/BennyEvander2.jpg

Rain Man
04-08-2005, 10:47 PM
Kenneth Copeland is up! In honor of Evander, he's going to bite off a woman's ear!

http://www.sherrytalkradio.com/images/copeland2.gif

Bwana
04-08-2005, 10:52 PM
YE-EEEEEEEEEES!

HEAL!!

Rain Man
04-08-2005, 10:55 PM
Ah aim hailed, Fathah Bwana! Ah aim hailed! Ah cain walk again!


Next up - Brother William Bartee, who has not been able to bend his neck since 1999.

mikey23545
04-08-2005, 10:56 PM
Man, you are just evoking the hell out of Russ right now....

And when he appears, you all will pay....

Bwana
04-08-2005, 10:56 PM
Ah aim hailed, Fathah Bwana! Ah aim hailed! Ah cain walk again!


Next up - Brother William Bartee, who has not been able to bend his neck since 1999.

Brother Rain Man, If Hinn can manage such things, I will send him $50. :)

Bwana
04-08-2005, 10:57 PM
Man, you are just evoking the hell out of Russ right now....

And when he appears, you all will pay....

Baaaa, Russ would call BS on Hinn as well. :p

Rain Man
04-08-2005, 10:58 PM
http://www.newlifetv.com/imgs/om_kenneth.jpg


You! Over there! Brothah Hicks! Let me HEEEEAL you of your inability to shed a blocker!

Deberg_1990
04-08-2005, 10:59 PM
The guys a fraud. Dateline did a story on him a few months back. Hes an old fashioned "Snake Charmer" Im a Christian but i cant stand the guy personally, but my wife and her Mom swear by him.

mikey23545
04-08-2005, 11:00 PM
Hinn is an interactive I.Q. test for the religious right....

Rain Man
04-08-2005, 11:00 PM
http://www.uforanks.com/Prayerbook/ken-week35.jpg

You! Brother Kawika! Come up to the stage! Come up, and I will HEEEEEEAL you of your inability to read the run versus the pass!

mikey23545
04-08-2005, 11:02 PM
Though ironically, he could be held up as proof that evolution never occurred....

Count Alex's Wins
04-08-2005, 11:02 PM
One of Rain Man's best ever... ROFL

Bwana
04-08-2005, 11:03 PM
Brother Morton! Let me heeeeeeeal you so you may catch more balls! *Forehead slap* YE-EESSSSSSSSSSSSS!

Rain Man
04-08-2005, 11:04 PM
http://www.aloha.net/~mikesch/hinn-tbn.jpg

Brother Peterson! Brother Peterson! I will CURRRRRRRE you of your inability to judge talent!

mikey23545
04-08-2005, 11:05 PM
Brother Morton! Let me heeeeeeeal you so you may catch more balls! *Forehead slap* YE-EESSSSSSSSSSSSS!

I can just see Hinn slapping Morton on the forehead, and Morton launching into the Worm....

Bwana
04-08-2005, 11:05 PM
I can just see Hinn slapping Morton on the forehead, and Morton launching into the Worm....

ROFL

Rain Man
04-08-2005, 11:07 PM
Trent Green's wife is transformed by a miracle in Nairobi!

http://www.aloha.net/~mikesch/Nairobi.jpg

Rain Man
04-08-2005, 11:11 PM
http://www.trinityfi.org/images/hinn016.jpg

TOUCHHHHHDOWWWWWWWN, KANNNNNNSAS CITTTTTTY!

Bwana
04-08-2005, 11:18 PM
Let us not forget the Bakers Brother Rain! YE-esssssssssss!!

Rain Man
04-08-2005, 11:21 PM
momentin.com/revstudy/ chap03laodicea.html

Benny Hinn: But here's first what I see for TBN. You're going to have people raised from the dead watching this network. You're going to have people raised from the dead watching TBN. Programs - just plain programs - programs that haven't done much when it comes to supernatural manifestations - teaching programs. It's not going to be a Benny Hinn saying "Stretch your hands." It's going to be your average teaching program, your normal Christian program that's blessing the church. There's going to be such power on these programs people will be raised from the dead worldwide. I'm telling you, I see this in the Spirit. It's going to be so awesome - Jesus I give you praise for this - that people around the world - maybe not so much in America - people around the world who will lose loved ones, will say to undertakers "Not yet. I want to take my dead loved one and place him in front of that TV set for 24 hours."

Paul Crouch (below): Benny Hinn! Jesus!

http://momentin.com/images/chap03laodicea/tbn1.jpg

Benny Hinn: I'm telling you. People will be - people - I'm telling you, I feel the anointing talking here. People are going to be canceling funeral services and bringing their dead in their caskets, placing them - my God! I feel the anointing here - placing them before a television set, waiting for God's power to come through and touch them. And it's going to happen time and time - so much it's going to spread. You're going to hear it from Kenya to Mexico to Europe to South America, where people will be raised from the - so much so that the word will spread that if some dead person be put in front of this TV screen, they will be raised from the dead and they will be by the thousands. You wait. Now the Lord just told me - and I don't know whether this is true or not - as I'm saying this, the Lord said He gave you that word many, many years ago.

Paul Crouch: I have said that, yes. Benny Hinn: I don't remember you saying that to me ever.

Paul Crouch: No, I didn't.

Benny Hinn: [He said] 'I've told him this already.'

Paul Crouch: Yeah, the Lord spoke that to me in the very beginning of TBN and I didn't really -





Jan Crouch: And I had a dream.

Benny Hinn: You had a dream.

Paul Crouch: Yeah, tell him about that little -

Jan Crouch: That's just a dream - people were being raised from the dead. Years ago.

Paul Crouch: It's on tape. I said the day is coming -

Benny Hinn: I see quite something amazing. I see rows of caskets lining up in front of this TV set and I see them bringing them closer to the TV set and as people are coming closer I see actually loved ones picking up the hands of the dead and letting them touch the screen and people are getting raised as their hands are touching that screen.

...With this program - I'm not talking about my program - I'm talking programs, plain programs aired - the glory of God will be so on TBN that there's going to be divine resurrection happening as people bring their loved ones to the TV set.

Paul Crouch: Just because it's His time.

Benny Hinn: It's His time. Now here's something else I see. Jesus, I give You praise for this, I give You praise for this, I give You praise for this - the day will come, Paul - and I pray you'll be here. I pray the Lord will allow you to be here and see it. I mean, physically be here. You're in your 60s now. But the day is going to come when the gifts of the Holy Spirit will so intensify in the church that young children will be watching TBN and signs and wonders will begin to take place through them. Impartations of the Spirit will come to them. A little child that knows nothing about the gifts, knows nothing about the anointing, knows nothing about the power of God, will be imbued with power from on high as a child, as that TV set comes on, and will go out like fire torches to their schools and their playgrounds and their families. I see children, I see children, what looks like fire in their lips spreading - but I see these kids touching the TV set, receiving it, and going out and spreading it. And it's going to happen with children in the U.S., Canada, all over the world. And I do see people being raised from the dead here, but I see masses of them overseas. (Praise The Lord, Trinity Broadcasting Network, October 19, 1999)

eazyb81
04-08-2005, 11:21 PM
I don't know why, but when I first read the thread, I was thinking about Benny Hill, not Benny Hinn. The thought of little chinese ladies running around Benny Hill with that zany music just made me crack up for some reason.

Ha, me too. When I started reading the first post, I thought ol Benny Hill made a career change. I can hear his crazy theme song right now....

ROFL

go bowe
04-08-2005, 11:25 PM
Ah aim hailed, Fathah Bwana! Ah aim hailed! Ah cain walk again!


Next up - Brother William Bartee, who has not been able to bend his neck since 1999.damn, i've been laughing my ass off since the beginning of this thread... ROFL ROFL ROFL

but the thought of benny hinn healing bartee was the icing on the cake...

:hail: :hail: :hail:

Rain Man
04-08-2005, 11:27 PM
Let us not forget the Bakers Brother Rain! YE-esssssssssss!!



Cousin Jon Baker kicked off out of bounds?!?!

http://www.bambootrading.com/1200/1238.jpg

Rain Man
04-08-2005, 11:33 PM
Ye are no longer a Broncos fan! Be gone, Elway demon! Be gone!

http://www.usnews.com/usnews/photography/portfolios/archambault/graphics/archambault8.jpg

go bowe
04-09-2005, 12:07 AM
Ye are no longer a Broncos fan! Be gone, Elway demon! Be gone!

http://www.usnews.com/usnews/photography/portfolios/archambault/graphics/archambault8.jpgyehhhhhhhhhsssss...

C-Mac
04-09-2005, 12:35 AM
Uh-oh. Benny Hinn is now off.

Oh! Oh! Kenneth Copeland is on! This guy weirds me out. He looks like Darren Stephens occupied by demons.

http://www.cfaith.com/Graphics/KennethCopeland_Couple.jpg

ROFL :thumb:

C-Mac
04-09-2005, 12:35 AM
Ah aim hailed, Fathah Bwana! Ah aim hailed! Ah cain walk again!

Next up - Brother William Bartee, who has not been able to bend his neck since 1999.

ROFL ROFL ROFL

Ultra Peanut
04-09-2005, 06:49 AM
It's going to be so awesome - Jesus I give you praise for this - that people around the world - maybe not so much in America - people around the world who will lose loved ones, will say to undertakers "Not yet. I want to take my dead loved one and place him in front of that TV set for 24 hours.""There's a Buffy marathon coming on FX."