PDA

View Full Version : How many times a day do you experience flatulance?


Bootlegged
04-13-2005, 02:48 PM
I think I have a problem. I'm well into the 100's.

RaiderH8r
04-13-2005, 02:49 PM
I'm right with you. My girlfriend hates it when I give her the Dutch Oven, but it is so funny.

CosmicPal
04-13-2005, 02:51 PM
Every time I see Jake Plummer's face in the news.

Rain Man
04-13-2005, 02:53 PM
Just once, but it lasts for 24 hours.

ENDelt260
04-13-2005, 02:56 PM
That depends. How much beer did I have to drink last night?

Kyle401
04-13-2005, 02:57 PM
10-50 depending on what I have been eating lately.

Iowanian
04-13-2005, 02:59 PM
I do sound effects for the ESPN Lumberjack Hotsaw competitions.

tyton75
04-13-2005, 03:01 PM
is "all the time" what you are looking for....

and the Dutch oven is priceless.. the only bad thing is is that my wife has worse gas than me.. and she'll occassionally return the favor!

Scaga
04-13-2005, 03:01 PM
I need clarification....
Is this the number you actually expell from your body, or number of times you "get the urge"?

Mine is 72 either way. :fart:

RaiderH8r
04-13-2005, 03:06 PM
Do farts have lumps?

Iowanian
04-13-2005, 03:07 PM
Not the good ones.

Sounds like you birthed yourself a mini-helmet sized bronco fan.

RaiderH8r
04-13-2005, 03:08 PM
Not the good ones.

Sounds like you birthed yourself a mini-helmet sized bronco fan.
MMM...looks like shit, smells like shit...must be the chiefs new Defensive acquisition.

Iowanian
04-13-2005, 03:10 PM
well........Dungver DID sign the 'browns' Dline......

They'll eat more pancakes, and waste more capspace than Gardner.

RaiderH8r
04-13-2005, 03:11 PM
well........Dungver DID sign the 'browns' Dline......
And if you could clone goonther the chiefs could have signed something this offseason as well....at least something meaningful.

Iowanian
04-13-2005, 03:12 PM
I'll take a side order of Kendrell Bell over Ian Goldfries ANY day.

After signing the entire pathetic Cleveland Dline, considering their sack and run numbers...Fans should call the Denver Line "Turdell Sands"

Simplex3
04-13-2005, 03:13 PM
Are you only supposed to count your own farts or do we count any "experience", even if it came from someone else? I only ask because I had a guy that worked for me who would come in to my office looking all serious like he had a question to ask, sit down on my desk, fart, get up, and leave. Never say a word. That would account for an extra two or three a day for me.

Come to think of it, that was also the guy that told me you shouldn't crap as soon as you get the urge, you should hold it in so that it can finish baking. He had some issues, obviously.

Pants
04-13-2005, 03:14 PM
And if you could clone goonther the chiefs could have signed something this offseason as well....at least something meaningful.

We do have Goonthar! on the Chiefs. What's your point? Do we need more than one?

Bootlegged
04-13-2005, 03:14 PM
for clarification's sake, i'm talking about actual gas expulsion.

20 mins after eating anything and I sound like a foghorn

Simplex3
04-13-2005, 03:16 PM
for clarification's sake, i'm talking about actual gas expulsion.

20 mins after eating anything and I sound like a foghorn
I got one of those Herman Miller Aeron chairs. Best thing I ever did for my nose. At least now they get out into the open and move on. Nothing worse than sitting down in a chair and having the air trapped in the cushion release a day-old fart.

http://www.secondhandaeron.co.uk/images/Herman%20Miller%20Aeron.jpg

Duck Dog
04-13-2005, 03:28 PM
Just a few times in the A.M., but man, I can make the curtains sway back and forth.

Duck Dog
04-13-2005, 03:29 PM
A better question would be; Why at age 39, do farts still make me laugh?

Simplex3
04-13-2005, 03:31 PM
A better question would be; Why at age 39, do farts still make me laugh?
Hehe, my one year old son laughs at his own farts. Now there is no way this has been taught to him, it has to be an instinct. You can't fight instinct man, just go with it.

Bob Dole
04-13-2005, 03:33 PM
Bob Dole farted 5 times while typing this message.

If Bob Dole typed as slow as Roy Scanlon, Sr., it would be closer to 30.

Bowser
04-13-2005, 03:34 PM
This really should be a poll.

Baby Lee
04-13-2005, 04:15 PM
Do farts have lumps?
The term you're looking for is 'sharting' :thumb:

Baby Lee
04-13-2005, 04:17 PM
Hehe, my one year old son laughs at his own farts. Now there is no way this has been taught to him, it has to be an instinct. You can't fight instinct man, just go with it.
That kind of early interest in what passes through the ol' browneye just may answer for once and all the nature/nurture debate on teh ghey!!

:thailor:

Calcountry
04-13-2005, 04:24 PM
OMG, like who is gonna be so anal retentive that they count their farts, I mean, other than Taco, who?

seclark
04-13-2005, 04:36 PM
27 and counting...oops...28.
sec

chiefs4me
04-13-2005, 05:30 PM
More proof that no matter how old they are....
Boys will be Boys.....ROFL

Ebolapox
04-13-2005, 05:32 PM
ya know, I occaisonally have a flatulance problem (especially after eating foods rich in fiber), but my main problem is that at least a few times a week, I get the ole' soupy poop... which can lead to sharts :shake:

-EB-

chiefs4me
04-13-2005, 05:33 PM
OMG, like who is gonna be so anal retentive that they count their farts, I mean, other than Taco, who?



a bunch of chiefs fans....ROFL

PastorMikH
04-13-2005, 05:56 PM
The wife and I have problems in this area. A few weeks ago she tells me that it just isn't appropriate for a person to be passing gas - we are in our living room with just us and the kids. She proceeds to tell me that her dad doesn't do that. Oh, wait a minute honey, I've golfed and fished with your dad enough to be able to tell you that you are wrong on that one.:)

RaiderH8r
04-13-2005, 06:22 PM
The term you're looking for is 'sharting' :thumb:
Ahh...sometimes you gamble and lose when a fart comes up shart

Calcountry
04-13-2005, 06:53 PM
Its the EXPERIENCE that matters though.

Bootlegged
04-13-2005, 08:44 PM
sorry, #109 just arrived.

PastorMikH
04-13-2005, 09:20 PM
I just can't believe that a thread like this has been around for almost 8 hours and only has 30some posts on it.


Is it a slow day or is the Planet slipping?

stumppy
04-13-2005, 09:28 PM
I just can't believe that a thread like this has been around for almost 8 hours and only has 30some posts on it.


Is it a slow day or is the Planet slipping?


:eek:
I was just going to post the same thing.