PDA

View Full Version : The lowest, grimmest, most pathetic depths of the offseason poll.


Rain Man
04-13-2005, 09:14 PM
Coming up.

Psyko Tek
04-13-2005, 09:20 PM
no...
just NO....

Count Alex's Losses
04-13-2005, 09:38 PM
Combination by FAR! I irritated a fledgling pustule while shaving one night before bed. When I woke up I had this GIANT white balloon on the bottom of my chin. When that f*cker popped it was like a blast from a shotgun.

EVERYONE loves popping zits. Some will deny.

morphius
04-13-2005, 09:58 PM
bald and still suffering from acne, damn, sucks to be you.

Rain Man
04-13-2005, 10:01 PM
Combination by FAR! I irritated a fledgling pustule while shaving one night before bed. When I woke up I had this GIANT white balloon on the bottom of my chin. When that f*cker popped it was like a blast from a shotgun.

EVERYONE loves popping zits. Some will deny.


I keep a scrapbook of my best ones.


And yes, morphius, I'm bald and I still get the occasional zit. No one told me that life would be like this.

Count Alex's Losses
04-13-2005, 10:08 PM
Everyone should get the occasional zit. It makes life interesting.

What I can't stand are those bloody zits. So messy. I like my zits to have a clean burst that requires little cleanup. With those bloody zits you just keep squeezing and more stuff comes out....

morphius
04-13-2005, 10:13 PM
I keep a scrapbook of my best ones.


And yes, morphius, I'm bald and I still get the occasional zit. No one told me that life would be like this.
Well, at least your still not gochiefs.

Morphius
now just feeling kind of bad.

whoman69
04-13-2005, 10:23 PM
God only made so many men that could give total sexual satisfaction to women, he gave the rest of them hair.

whoman69
04-13-2005, 10:26 PM
The worst zit I ever got was from an ingrown hair. When she finally blew, it looked like a little stick got caught in there. There must have been 5 mustache hairs that grew in there altogether.

Of course the worst one are on your ass.

Pennywise
04-14-2005, 08:00 AM
Of course the worst ones are on your ass.
Or your ballsac.

Amnorix
04-14-2005, 08:02 AM
:Lin: :Lin: :Lin:

So, umm, how 'bout that draft.... Whaddya think -- mebbe a defensive player or two?







:)

Rausch
04-14-2005, 08:04 AM
no...
just NO....

What he said.

I'm tring to avoid sober right now...

cadmonkey
04-14-2005, 08:29 AM
Amazingly I very rarley ever get zits. I never did.

Saulbadguy
04-14-2005, 08:35 AM
http://www.mujweb.cz/www/davidpage/Zit.jpg

Mark M
04-14-2005, 09:45 AM
How about the ones the size of Mount Fuji that come in on your back ...

You're not guite sure if it's ready to pop, but you contort your body, basically dislocating your shoulder, in an effort to get rid of it.

Once you get a hold of it, you give it a good squeeze. It hurts like hell ... kinda like being stabbed with an ice pick. But you keep going, until it finally gives with a "phht" noise.

You squeeze it again just to make sure it's empty. A bit more comes out, followed by a clear liquid.

The pain subsides, and all is well.

Until you put on a shirt. Your neighbors, hearing your screams of agony, come over to make sure you're okay.

Of course, you lie and tell them you just stubbed your toe, not wanting to share with them the shame you feel for being in your 30's and having back zits.

Yeah ... those are my favorite.

MM
~~:spock:

Braincase
04-14-2005, 09:51 AM
The inner thigh, ingrown hair boil. Rubs against the inside of your pants, and ends up erupting like Krakatoa.

cdcox
04-14-2005, 10:04 AM
It's comforting to see that I am not the only one who finds something morbidly satisfying here.

I rarely get any squeezables on my face these days and ususally have to get my satisfaction with a clogged pore on the thigh or a rare whitehead on the backside.

One exception is my nose. Up close in the mirror it resembles a strawberry, with the clusters of clogged pores looking like so many seeds on the ripened fruit. A good squeeze can send a dozen little dirt worms wiggling out in random directions. I'd head for the bathroom right now, but I don't want to go around fingernail indentations on my red nose for the rest of the day. Maybe something to look forward to at bedtime...

Mark M
04-14-2005, 12:35 PM
Sorry ... I just couldn't let this thread drop off the first page.

MM
~~:evil:

Rain Man
04-14-2005, 01:00 PM
I'm somewhat surprised that the clogged pore isn't doing better in the poll, for the reasons stated so eloquently by cdcox.

Mark M makes a good point about the back goliath, too.

Logical
04-14-2005, 03:18 PM
Kevin, has anybody bothered to point out that you probably should have used "spurt" not "sport". By the way I nominate this thread for Low of Lows Hall of Fame.

Tribal Warfare
04-14-2005, 03:23 PM
The one that resembles Carl Peterson

badgirl
04-14-2005, 06:03 PM
I had acne till I was 24 not real bad just one pop up here or there, then after my last son was born I never had the problem again, weird huh, I have pretty nice skin, even without makeup. :thumb:

Baby Lee
04-14-2005, 07:23 PM
Funny that the most morbidly fascinating clip from all the episodes of Jackass was the one where they popped the blackhead. Simply amazing.

First off the 'black' part was the size of a grain of rice, then it was followed by what seemed to be a linear foot of the good thick white stuff.

Talk about 'found art.'

On a more personal level, the one that stands out I'm not even sure could be classified as a zit. Right before church in my early teens, the spot right below where the middle of my nose meets the mustache line got real painful. So I hightailed it to the bathroom. Nothing really apparent, no yellow, no black, nothing. But the pain was eye-watering at this point and the area looked puffy. So I bit the bullet and gave a little squeeze. BLAMMO, Jackson Pollack would've been reduced to tears by the mastery of my art on the mirror in front of me. Little dropules covering an area approximately that of the rim of a coffee cup.

Most amazingly, the culpible pore closed back immediately. No bleeding, no discoloration. I grabbed a towel and wiped down the mirror then hightailed back to the pew, perpetrator and sole witness of the perfect crime.