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fan4ever
04-15-2005, 12:41 PM
I need your help.

My neighbor's cats like to come over and crap in my back yard. I have horseshoe pits filled with sand, and a volleyball court filled with the same. These cats use all three as their own personal litter boxes. I've spoken with my neighbor who thinks it's a cat's right to wander wherever they like. I have a dog, but the only way he occassionally helps out is by eating the cat's poop, which gives me even more reason to want the cats to stay out. I can by law trap the cat's on my property, have animal control pick them up, and they will contact the owners to pick up the cats until the third time, when they will put the cats down. I don't want to go this route for a number of reasons, frivelous litigation from my neighbor (they're like that) being among them.

Does anyone know a proven, effective way to keep cat's out of your back yard? I can cover the horseshoe pits, but the volleyball court is way to big to cover. I am not above frightening, shocking, or catapulting the animals, as long as no long term physical effects are inflicted upon the fuzzy little bastards.

P.S. I don't hate cats, just cats using my backyard as a toilet.

I anxiously await the inventiveness of my fellow planeteers.

(I hope this thread was OK to do here...I know some are sensitive to non-football threads. I apologize in advance to those offended.)

ptlyon
04-15-2005, 12:43 PM
Does anyone know a proven, effective way to keep cat's out of your back yard?

Remington 870 12 ga. load of 4's.

JOhn
04-15-2005, 12:44 PM
I would suggest hiring either Bwana or Iowaian on a consulting basis.ROFL

cron912
04-15-2005, 12:46 PM
Get a BB gun and give them a little motivation not to come into your yard. Just pump it once or twice, so it won't hurt them, and try to hit 'em in the rump with the BB.

suds79
04-15-2005, 12:47 PM
Place some of those cat mats around the parimiter.

You know. They're those mats that give a little 6-9 volt shock when stepped on.

In a few days you can take them away and the cats will never step foot in your yard again..

Bowser
04-15-2005, 12:47 PM
Get a sprinler system installed in your yard. Every time you see the bastards walking over, turn it on.

That, or get some hard plastic covers to put over the pits and court.

Donger
04-15-2005, 12:48 PM
Get a BB gun and give them a little motivation not to come into your yard. Just pump it once or twice, so it won't hurt them, and try to hit 'em in the rump with the BB.

Yep. Works like a charm.

ptlyon
04-15-2005, 12:49 PM
Just pump it once or twice, so it won't hurt them, and try to hit 'em in the rump with the BB.

If you hit'em in the head it won't be a problem anymore.

Demonpenz
04-15-2005, 12:51 PM
long john silvers fish hushpuppy with a m 80 in it

ptlyon
04-15-2005, 12:53 PM
long john silvers fish hushpuppy with a m 80 in it

That just made me laugh out loud.

teh rep

Mr. Laz
04-15-2005, 12:55 PM
Get a sprinler system installed in your yard. Every time you see the bastards walking over, turn it on.

That, or get some hard plastic covers to put over the pits and court.

there are also little motion detector that will go off automatically


i think they sell them to scare away the blue birds that eat goldfish outa people backyard ponds.


should work for cats.


i also think there is some sprays used to litter box train cats. you can spray it around the sand pits and its suppose to keep cats away.

Donger
04-15-2005, 12:55 PM
If you hit'em in the head it won't be a problem anymore.

Never kill pussies. It's bad karma.

Soupnazi
04-15-2005, 12:56 PM
In college, me and my roommates had to defend the volleyball pit from neighborhood cats. BB guns, slingshots, and a high powered hose did the trick nicely.

My buddies liked to shoot them and watch them run, but I liked to spring out from behind the fence, chase them into the corner and pound them ruthlessly with the water. It got the best results.

jspchief
04-15-2005, 12:57 PM
Leave a small bowl of anti freeze in the area.

And don't let your dog near it.

fan4ever
04-15-2005, 12:57 PM
If you hit'em in the head it won't be a problem anymore.

The problem is, the little sh!ts come over at night. I'd need night vision goggles. I have a pellet gun, but they'll probably hear me pump it. I suppose I could install motion detection lighting, but after a while, I'm not sure that would scare them away. My back yard is huge, so any kind of a barrier or perimeter approach would cost an arm and a leg. I wouldn't mind booby-trapping the horseshoe pits (their preference in crapping spots) and once they're afraid of those, move to the volleyball court. I tried mousetraps, but the sand screwed up the tripping mechanism.

tyton75
04-15-2005, 12:57 PM
go borrow a friends Pit Bull or mastiff or something and just let him kick the everlovin chit outta them

wilas101
04-15-2005, 01:01 PM
We have quite a few cats in our neighborhood. They were quite a problem a couple years ago and one evening a cop shows up on the doorstep to tell me that my neighbors have been complaining about my cats.

Bear in mind now... this is a town of 2000 people. My neighbors know when I take a crap. These people know damn good and well they aren't our cats but at any rate... they're old so they figured to blame me and I'd take care of the problem.

The cop tells me to stop by the station and get one of their live traps so the next day I stop in and am talking to the chief of police about the situation and I ask him why its my responsibility to rid the neighborhood of these cats. He tells me that it really isn't but he'd owe me one if I'd handle it for them. Since it never hurts having the cops owing you one I agree and ask what I'm supposed to do with them once they're trapped.

I had to laugh because this is an answer you'd only get in a small town.

"Ah, hell. I don't care what you do with them. Take 'em outside of town and dump them by some farmers house."


Of course this is the same Chief of Police who told me to go cut down my neighbors tree some night when they weren't home because it was preventing me from having line of site to the wireless internet transmitter a local ISP had just put up.

Mr. Laz
04-15-2005, 01:02 PM
http://pss.uvm.edu/ppp/articles/cats.htm

Try spraying the intruder with a blast from the hose. Most cats will turn and run although some actually enjoy water, especially on a hot day. For them, you must try other tactics, like planting rue. The blue foliage makes this an attractive garden accent, but cats can't stand the odor and will make a wide berth around the planting. Thorny roses also deter cats.

Some gardeners use homemade remedies. Although I can't personally attest to the success of these methods, it won't hurt to try them. Sprinkle your plants with crushed pepper. It will irritate cats and may even produce a few extra pepper plants in the garden. Cayenne is also said to work though you will need to reapply it after every rain. Or try ground-up grapefruit and lemon rinds. Or make a tea of rue, hot pepper liquid, or lemon juice to spray on plants.

Commercial products like predator urine and cat (and dog) repellents also are available at many garden centers. Or try to get rid of unwanted cat visitors with devices that use sound, light, and/or water to scare them away. Another possibility is to lay down mats, which have soft upward facing points. It won't hurt you--or the cats--to walk on these, but most cats don't like to step on them.

If you have bird feeders near your garden, move them to a new location or hang them higher than a cat can jump. Otherwise, cats may continue to visit your garden in hopes of catching birds.

wilas101
04-15-2005, 01:08 PM
will these cats come up to you when you're outside?

Call one over, put on some welder's gloves because you're going to have a short fight on your hands, then choke it to death. It's quiet so nobody is going to hear the cat screaming.

Once its been choked to death, take it out and lay it behind the back tire of your car then back out over it.

Then, pick it up and take it to your neighbors while acting upset and apologize for running over their cat.

You could just lay it out in the middle of the street but they sound like jerk-offs so there would be more pleasure gained in watching them be upset about their smashed cat.

MOhillbilly
04-15-2005, 01:10 PM
ak-47

tyton75
04-15-2005, 01:11 PM
land mines and pungie sticks?

Simplex3
04-15-2005, 01:12 PM
I'm not sure why you don't call animal control. They can't sue you for following the law.

However, if you've validated that it's Ok to kill them on your property then you should figure out what methods are allowed and dispatch of them ASAP. You probably only have to kill one or two of them before those f**kers next door will decide to keep the rest inside.

fan4ever
04-15-2005, 01:13 PM
go borrow a friends Pit Bull or mastiff or something and just let him kick the everlovin chit outta them

I'm sure I'm not the only neighbor they're irritating. I thought about catching them, and attaching a note to their collar stating something like "If I catch this cat in my yard again, It will be the last time". I thought maybe an anonymous threat like this might work. Hate to be a pussy about it, all incognito and all, but this guys a sue-happy little geek. Him and his wife LOVE their cats, and they say they have kitty litter for them inside, so maybe the fear of losing the cats will make them keep them inside, or at least inside their yard like people have to do with their dogs.

tyton75
04-15-2005, 01:13 PM
or better yet.. kill it.. then put it on display in the backyard to teach all the other cats a lesson...

"if you come 'round here, you are dead meat!"

Predarat
04-15-2005, 01:14 PM
Mix Anti-Freeze with a can of tuna in a bowl and put it out tonight. Tomorrow you will wake up without this problem.

ptlyon
04-15-2005, 01:17 PM
I'm sure I'm not the only neighbor they're irritating. I thought about catching them, and attaching a note to their collar stating something like "If I catch this cat in my yard again, It will be the last time". I thought maybe an anonymous threat like this might work. Hate to be a pussy about it, all incognito and all, but this guys a sue-happy little geek. Him and his wife LOVE their cats, and they say they have kitty litter for them inside, so maybe the fear of losing the cats will make them keep them inside, or at least inside their yard like people have to do with their dogs.

I like the direct approach.

fan4ever seeing his neighbor and saying over the fence...
"Hey F@ckhead! If I catch Fluffy $hitting in my yard one more time, you'll be going to the pet store to be finding another one."

KCWolfman
04-15-2005, 01:17 PM
Three huge sandpits, and you are complaining?

Man if you had a toilet in your backyard, I might take a crap in it.

tyton75
04-15-2005, 01:17 PM
well.. you could always trap one.. then hold it down and shave it bald... I would think that would teach the owners a thing or 2.

or just paint "keep out" into its fur

KCWolfman
04-15-2005, 01:18 PM
I am amazed at everyone on this thread that condones killing the cats and then gets up in arms about dogs being killed on different threads.

What the hell is the difference?

Radar Chief
04-15-2005, 01:18 PM
Grab a BB gun, 12 pack and a lawn chair and enjoy the target practice.

Another one I walked a friend through when he had cats getting in his garage and climbing on his car.
Take an extension cord and clip off the female end, lamp cord will work also. Connect an alligator clip to the white and black wires, then place in a good sized box a piece of sheet metal big enough to cover the bottom of the box. Place on the sheet metal a porcelain saucer or plate and place on that a metal bowl filled with milk.
See where Iím going with this?
Now using an alligator clips connect one wire to the sheet metal, the other to the metal bowl and plug in your cord to a wall socket. The saucer/plate will insulate the Neutral (white wire) from hot (black wire) until a cat comes along, stands on the sheet metal and puts itís nose to the milk, completing the circuit. The box is to make clean up easier. ;)

Donger
04-15-2005, 01:19 PM
I am amazed at everyone on this thread that condones killing the cats and then gets up in arms about dogs being killed on different threads.

What the hell is the difference?

Indeed.

tyton75
04-15-2005, 01:19 PM
I am amazed at everyone on this thread that condones killing the cats and then gets up in arms about dogs being killed on different threads.

What the hell is the difference?



cats are Satans minion's and dogs are loveable... :rolleyes:

ptlyon
04-15-2005, 01:19 PM
I am amazed at everyone on this thread that condones killing the cats and then gets up in arms about dogs being killed on different threads.

What the hell is the difference?

Because killing cats is fun and enjoyable.

KCWolfman
04-15-2005, 01:20 PM
Because killing cats is fun and enjoyable.
Ohhh, it is a touchy feely thing.

No wonder I don't get it. It is based on silly emotions instead of logic and common sense.

Radar Chief
04-15-2005, 01:21 PM
I am amazed at everyone on this thread that condones killing the cats and then gets up in arms about dogs being killed on different threads.

What the hell is the difference?


Thatís because cats are an infestation along the lines of rats and roaches.
Dogs are mans best friend. ;)

ptlyon
04-15-2005, 01:21 PM
Grab a BB gun, 12 pack and a lawn chair and enjoy the target practice.

Another one I walked a friend through when he had cats getting in his garage and climbing on his car.
Take an extension cord and clip off the female end, lamp cord will work also. Connect an alligator clip to the white and black wires, then place in a good sized box a piece of sheet metal big enough to cover the bottom of the box. Place on the sheet metal a porcelain saucer or plate and place on that a metal bowl filled with milk.
See where Iím going with this?
Now using an alligator clips connect one wire to the sheet metal, the other to the metal bowl and plug in your cord to a wall socket. The saucer/plate will insulate the Neutral (white wire) from hot (black wire) until a cat comes along, stands on the sheet metal and puts itís nose to the milk, completing the circuit. The box is to make clean up easier. ;)

Won't that pop a breaker?

ptlyon
04-15-2005, 01:22 PM
Ohhh, it is a touchy feely thing.

No wonder I don't get it. It is based on silly emotions instead of logic and common sense.

Just kill one once. You will then understand.

KCWolfman
04-15-2005, 01:22 PM
Thatís because cats are an infestation along the lines of rats and roaches.
Dogs are mans best friend. ;)
Dogs hunch legs, bite people, and shit in their neighbor's yards not even needing the sand to do it in.

KCWolfman
04-15-2005, 01:22 PM
Won't that pop a breaker?
Yes

KCWolfman
04-15-2005, 01:23 PM
Just kill one once. You will then understand.
Shouldn't I kill a neighbor's dog at the same time to gauge the feelings I have when I ice each?

BIG_DADDY
04-15-2005, 01:23 PM
Wouldn't happen if you had a pit bull.

jspchief
04-15-2005, 01:23 PM
I am amazed at everyone on this thread that condones killing the cats and then gets up in arms about dogs being killed on different threads.

What the hell is the difference?Like who?

I've yet to see anyone say they think a dog should have the right to run wild and do as it pleases, but maybe I missed it.

ptlyon
04-15-2005, 01:23 PM
Yes

Cool. As long as his little head pops too.

Radar Chief
04-15-2005, 01:23 PM
Won't that pop a breaker?

Could, but probably not until after popping the cat open like an over microwaved hotdog.

KCWolfman
04-15-2005, 01:24 PM
Like who?

I've yet to see anyone say they think a dog should have the right to run wild and do as it pleases, but maybe I missed it.
I said that?

Where the hell did you get that from my sentence? Is English your primary language?

ptlyon
04-15-2005, 01:24 PM
Shouldn't I kill a neighbor's dog at the same time to gauge the feelings I have when I ice each?

Excellent idea. I'll bring a case of beer and be over right after work.

Radar Chief
04-15-2005, 01:25 PM
Dogs hunch legs, bite people, and shit in their neighbor's yards not even needing the sand to do it in.

Yea, arenít they just lovable?

KCWolfman
04-15-2005, 01:25 PM
Excellent idea. I'll bring a case of beer and be over right after work.
Make sure it is Irish and we can have some boilermakers

ptlyon
04-15-2005, 01:25 PM
Could, but probably not until after popping the cat open like an over microwaved hotdog.

Cleanup, asile 7!

ptlyon
04-15-2005, 01:26 PM
Make sure it is Irish and we can have some boilermakers

I knew you'd eventually see things my way

KCWolfman
04-15-2005, 01:26 PM
I knew you'd eventually see things my way
Beer, man's REAL best friend.

Simplex3
04-15-2005, 01:27 PM
well.. you could always trap one.. then hold it down and shave it bald... I would think that would teach the owners a thing or 2.

or just paint "keep out" into its fur
ROFL THAT is beautiful...

But shave it and then paint it.

Radar Chief
04-15-2005, 01:27 PM
Shouldn't I kill a neighbor's dog at the same time to gauge the feelings I have when I ice each?

If youíve got one crapín in your yard, and have warned itís owner to put a stop to it or you will, then go for it.

Radar Chief
04-15-2005, 01:29 PM
Cleanup, asile 7!

Thatís why I said put the whole trap in a box. Clean up could be pretty disgusting otherwise.

Demonpenz
04-15-2005, 01:30 PM
I learned the hard way never to poison a dog just because it won't quit barking. I threw a poisoned hot dog over the fence one day, no more barking, but that was soon replaced by kids crying about their stupid dog

Simplex3
04-15-2005, 01:30 PM
Won't that pop a breaker?
The porcelin saucer insulates the two sides from eachother until the cat closes the loop. Now, the cat's body will probably have some pretty high impedence and it should jump the minute it feels the burn. Now, if it gets stuck there then it might blow the breaker.

KCWolfman
04-15-2005, 01:30 PM
If youíve got one crapín in your yard, and have warned itís owner to put a stop to it or you will, then go for it.
Hell, if that's the case, there are a bunch of fence jumping Austrailian Shepherds, German Shepherds, and mixed mutts who will be eating some hamburger and antifreeze this weekend instead of me giving them a few treats and then walking the little buggers home as I normally do.

tyton75
04-15-2005, 01:32 PM
ok.. here's the solution...

eat Taco Bell and drink Beer all day...

Then when you are really full and more than a little drunk.. trap the cat and put it in a little cage.. then take off your pants.. sit on the cage and shit all over the cat..

That'll teach him AND the owners.!

ptlyon
04-15-2005, 01:32 PM
The porcelin saucer insulates the two sides from eachother until the cat closes the loop. Now, the cat's body will probably have some pretty high impedence and it should jump the minute it feels the burn. Now, if it gets stuck there then it might blow the breaker.

Thanks for the info. Never knew that much about uhlectrishhity

KCWolfman
04-15-2005, 01:33 PM
ok.. here's the solution...

eat Taco Bell and drink Beer all day...

Then when you are really full and more than a little drunk.. trap the cat and put it in a little cage.. then take off your pants.. sit on the cage and shit all over the cat..

That'll teach him AND the owners.!
LMAO

Demonpenz
04-15-2005, 01:33 PM
great this turned into a poop thread

Simplex3
04-15-2005, 01:34 PM
I'd say live trapping them and turning them in to animal control is your best bet. Nothing they can sue you for there and they'll either start keeping their cats inside or they'll be killed by the city. Either way your problem is solved and you've used the govt. as a buffer.

jspchief
04-15-2005, 01:36 PM
Hell, if that's the case, there are a bunch of fence jumping Austrailian Shepherds, German Shepherds, and mixed mutts who will be eating some hamburger and antifreeze this weekend instead of me giving them a few treats and then walking the little buggers home as I normally do.I think it's fair to say that some people are more bothered by having a dog sh*t in their yard than you are.

ptlyon
04-15-2005, 01:39 PM
I'd say live trapping them and turning them in to animal control is your best bet. Nothing they can sue you for there and they'll either start keeping their cats inside or they'll be killed by the city. Either way your problem is solved and you've used the govt. as a buffer.

Jesus Tapdancing Christ. You gonna tell your mommy too?

Simplex3
04-15-2005, 01:39 PM
Thanks for the info. Never knew that much about uhlectrishhity
I've been electricuted SEVERAL times. High voltage low amp from a neon transformer was the worst pain I've had. I've been hit by 110 more times than I can count.

I used to do consumer electronics repair and one of the "jokes" we used to play on noobs was hooking up a large (1 farad) capacitor under their chair with wires poked into the foam leading up to their ass. Basically a capacitor is a battery that discharges it's stored power nearly instantly. When they sat down they got one hell of a shock and a little "bang" to go with it. Of course I experienced this first hand.

Simplex3
04-15-2005, 01:41 PM
Jesus Tapdancing Christ. You gonna tell your mommy too?
Dude is afraid of being sued. Having been sued I'd say it's always a good thing to avoid.

This also gets past the "poor kitty" crowd. Personally I couldn't give a crap less if he kills them or how he does it. If you can't keep your animal in your yard or on a leash then it's fair game IMO.

ptlyon
04-15-2005, 01:42 PM
Dude is afraid of being sued. Having been sued I'd say it's always a good thing to avoid.

That is the beauty of it. If they don't know who did it then they can't sue anybody.

Simplex3
04-15-2005, 01:44 PM
That is the beauty of it. If they don't know who did it then they can't sue anybody.
Unless there are other complaining neighbors they'll know who to call. Even then they may just name everyone and let the courts sort it out.

ptlyon
04-15-2005, 01:46 PM
Unless there are other complaining neighbors they'll know who to call. Even then they may just name everyone and let the courts sort it out.

Now I know killing it and putting it in their mailbox would be a federal offense, but I can't imagine it would be that big of a deal to just throw it in their garbage can.

Radar Chief
04-15-2005, 01:47 PM
Hell, if that's the case, there are a bunch of fence jumping Austrailian Shepherds, German Shepherds, and mixed mutts who will be eating some hamburger and antifreeze this weekend instead of me giving them a few treats and then walking the little buggers home as I normally do.

Sounds like you need something automatic, with a fast cyclic rate. Possibly belt fed.

http://www.urban-armory.com/m2.JPG

tyton75
04-15-2005, 01:48 PM
How could they SUE you for taking the damn filthy rodents into animal control... if a dog was on the loose in the neighborhood.. you wouldn't think twice about taking it to animal control

Cats don't rule the fuggin neighborhood!! Revolution!

Radar Chief
04-15-2005, 01:50 PM
The porcelin saucer insulates the two sides from eachother until the cat closes the loop. Now, the cat's body will probably have some pretty high impedence and it should jump the minute it feels the burn. Now, if it gets stuck there then it might blow the breaker.

Typical house hold outlet will carry at or over 20 Amps. I donít know for sure this would be enough to do the job but considering this trap would send the current through itís head, Iíd think itíd work.

Simplex3
04-15-2005, 01:51 PM
Now I know killing it and putting it in their mailbox would be a federal offense, but I can't imagine it would be that big of a deal to just throw it in their garbage can.
Depends on the city. Hell, if he does it "the wrong way" he could even be subject to animal cruelty prosecution in some areas. His best bet is to find out from local animal control how far can go. However, none of that stops him from being sued. I could sue you for emotional distress from just the thought of you killing cats. Would I win? Who knows, probably not. However, you'd have to hire a lawyer and take time off work to show up in court, wouldn't you?

Simplex3
04-15-2005, 01:54 PM
Typical house hold outlet will carry at or over 20 Amps. I donít know for sure this would be enough to do the job but considering this trap would send the current through itís head, Iíd think itíd work.
It would probably only kill it if it had spasms and couldn't get it's head out of the bowl. It very well could crap and piss itself, so the box is certainly a good idea. Household voltage isn't as evil as most people think.

We had an electrician wire up a rack badly one time and I grabbed it three or four times before I figured out that I actually WAS being electricuted and wasn't just having muscle spasms when I lifted my arm up.

ptlyon
04-15-2005, 01:56 PM
However, you'd have to hire a lawyer and take time off work to show up in court, wouldn't you?

Yeah, too bad Johnny Cochran's dead to get me out of this deal...

Radar Chief
04-15-2005, 02:01 PM
It would probably only kill it if it had spasms and couldn't get it's head out of the bowl. It very well could crap and piss itself, so the box is certainly a good idea. Household voltage isn't as evil as most people think.

We had an electrician wire up a rack badly one time and I grabbed it three or four times before I figured out that I actually WAS being electricuted and wasn't just having muscle spasms when I lifted my arm up.

True that 120 VAC 60 Hz at 20 Amps will suck enough to remind you not to do that again, but I guess the only way to know for sure is to get a cat and try it.
Where you live at again, fan4ever? ;)

Chiefnj
04-15-2005, 02:02 PM
1. Buy various shades of neon spraypaint, some gloves and a cheap coverall.
2. Trap the kitties.
3. Carefully transform the kitties into your own work of modern art being careful not to get any paint in their eyes.
4. Get rid of the spraypaint and accessories a good distance from the home.
5. Release your newly inspired works of art. Admire your creativity as they playfully scamper back to their owner. Relish in your neighbors excitement when he discovers just how interesting and unique they look.

Chief Faithful
04-15-2005, 02:16 PM
Invite your neighbor to go cat fishing in your back yard. Then get out the lawn chair, a 12 pack, and put a little raw fish on a big hook and cast it out in the yard.

ENDelt260
04-15-2005, 02:30 PM
I am amazed at everyone on this thread that condones killing the cats and then gets up in arms about dogs being killed on different threads.

What the hell is the difference?
Cats suck.

Duh.

ENDelt260
04-15-2005, 02:32 PM
I learned the hard way never to poison a dog just because it won't quit barking. I threw a poisoned hot dog over the fence one day, no more barking, but that was soon replaced by kids crying about their stupid dog
Then just toss over some poisoned candy bars.

Duh.

ptlyon
04-15-2005, 02:38 PM
Oh yeah - that reminds me - know how to make a cat into a dog?

chiefs4me
04-15-2005, 02:38 PM
Because killing cats is fun and enjoyable.





wow .....I can not believe you said this...this post just goes to show me that you really never know the person behind this screen...:shake:


To the rest of you that think it's fun or alright to kill cats...I hope you all come back in the after life as cats...:harumph:

ENDelt260
04-15-2005, 02:39 PM
Oh goody. chiefs8me is here to save the thread.

ptlyon
04-15-2005, 02:40 PM
wow .....I can not believe you said this...this post just goes to show me that you really never know the person behind this screen...:shake:


To the rest of you that think it's fun or alright to kill cats...I hope you all come back in the after life as cats...:harumph:

lighten up, Francis

Chiefnj
04-15-2005, 02:40 PM
To the rest of you that think it's fun or alright to kill cats...I hope you all come back in the after life as cats...:harumph:

Will you let us crap in your yard??

ENDelt260
04-15-2005, 02:40 PM
Oh yeah - that reminds me - know how to make a cat into a dog?
No. How?

ENDelt260
04-15-2005, 02:40 PM
Oh, man... I just thought of a thread chiefs4me would LOVE.

Chiefnj
04-15-2005, 02:41 PM
Why don't you just gather up your dog poop for a week and sling it over the fence, or walk your dog in his yard. If you have to pick up after his animal it seems only fair that he do the same.

ptlyon
04-15-2005, 02:41 PM
No. How?

Pour some gasoline on it and light a match.

WOOF!

sorry chiefs4me

tyton75
04-15-2005, 02:42 PM
lighten up, Francis



awesome reference!

chiefs4me
04-15-2005, 02:46 PM
Oh goody. chiefs8me is here to save the thread.






:rolleyes:

morphius
04-15-2005, 02:47 PM
Oh yeah - that reminds me - know how to make a cat into a dog?
Take away its balls and tape cat nip to yours?

MOhillbilly
04-15-2005, 02:50 PM
i have some stuff that after they eat it they wont get 2 ft and if anything eats that includeing flies they die aswell.

its some bad shit 1/8th of a teaspoon.

Big Slick
04-15-2005, 02:50 PM
How could they SUE you for taking the damn filthy rodents into animal control... if a dog was on the loose in the neighborhood.. you wouldn't think twice about taking it to animal control


Who says the lawsuit would have to be over the cats? If the dude is suit-happy, he can probably find any number of frivilous things to base a lawsuit on...

tyton75
04-15-2005, 02:51 PM
i have some stuff that after they eat it they wont get 2 ft and if anything eats that includeing flies they die aswell.

its some bad shit 1/8th of a teaspoon.


*it rubs the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again*

STFU

Rain Man
04-15-2005, 02:51 PM
I think that cat needs should take precedence over human needs.

fan4ever
04-15-2005, 02:55 PM
How could they SUE you for taking the damn filthy rodents into animal control... if a dog was on the loose in the neighborhood.. you wouldn't think twice about taking it to animal control

Cats don't rule the fuggin neighborhood!! Revolution!

My concern is being sued over some bullsh!t like "emotional distress" or other crap once the city puts them down. I know they wouldn't win, but I don't feel like shelling out a couple of grand defending myself. These people sued the sellers of their home 5 years after they bought it because they thought the carpet wore out faster than it should have, and therefore the seller must have lied about the age of the carpet. They must have some a-hole relative who's a lawyer or something. I live in Phoenix, and these a-holes actually complained to my wife about some of our guests parking under the shade of their tree...even though it was in the street..."they liked to park there, and after all, it is their shade...from their tree..."

I'm not dealing with normal people here; that's why I posted for your opinions. Not so many great ideas so far, but I've been laughing my ass off. I wish I were rich and could afford attorneys because a lot of these ideas have been very appealing.

MOhillbilly
04-15-2005, 02:57 PM
kill it and dont tell them.

easy.

tyton75
04-15-2005, 02:59 PM
I wish I lived closer to you... I would terrorize those phuckers...

but it woudl be with childish pranks like 2 cases of toilet paper in their precious shade tree.. and taking a big dump in front of their front door.. you know.. fun stuff

fan4ever
04-15-2005, 02:59 PM
Then just toss over some poisoned candy bars.

Duh.

Maybe I could hire ENDelt to come over and kill the cats; he lives in my neck of the woods. But then I'd have to hire one of you to fly into town and kill ENDelt to hide the trail...see; it's complicated.

tyton75
04-15-2005, 03:02 PM
let endelt handle it.. then he can go back to his friends in tent town and wear his favorite color..

:)

tyton75
04-15-2005, 03:05 PM
Thats awesome.. chiefs8me gave me neg reg for my "land mines and pungie sticks" comment...

too funny how serious some people take themselves around here! lol

Simplex3
04-15-2005, 03:08 PM
My concern is being sued over some bullsh!t like "emotional distress" or other crap once the city puts them down.
You wouldn't even have to get a lawyer on this one. Odds are it wouldn't make it into court in the first place before it was dismissed. Laws are laws, all you did was follow them. They could try suing the city, but a fat lot of good that would do them.

ENDelt260
04-15-2005, 04:03 PM
Maybe I could hire ENDelt to come over and kill the cats; he lives in my neck of the woods. But then I'd have to hire one of you to fly into town and kill ENDelt to hide the trail...see; it's complicated.
Whoa, whoa... no need to kill me. Just let me get shitty first. I won't remember a thing.

KCWolfman
04-15-2005, 04:39 PM
wow .....I can not believe you said this...this post just goes to show me that you really never know the person behind this screen...:shake:


To the rest of you that think it's fun or alright to kill cats...I hope you all come back in the after life as cats...:harumph:
If it is the afterlife, we aren't "coming back".

The afterlife signifies an end to life, not a Buddhist recycle.

ENDelt260
04-15-2005, 04:52 PM
not a Buddhist recycle.

Remember to seperate your plastics from your karma.

Demonpenz
04-15-2005, 05:17 PM
if i came back as cat i would make sure i wasn't shitting in someone's yard.

Demonpenz
04-15-2005, 05:17 PM
Oh and let me make this clear, i am not saying killing cats is alright, i am encouraging it.

Frazod
04-15-2005, 05:38 PM
My thoughts, as a cat owner.

I keep my cats inside. IMO, cats are and should be INDOOR pets. This way, my cats don't f#ck with other people or their property, or get attacked and eaten by any number of creatures that might be inclined to do so.

But some people insist on letting them roam outside. Obviously no animal is going to respect property rights, and if these cats have zeroed in on this sand pit as a shitbox, they consider it their territory, and that's it. Perhaps some of the deterrant methods mentioned will work, but cats are very stubborn creatures (trust me, the spray DOESN'T WORK).

So basically this comes down to the pricks who own the cat taking responsibility. The onus should be on THEM, not YOU, to control their pets. It seems to me you've done enough to let them know that you don't find their cats shitting in your yard to be acceptable. They don't care.

So if I was you, first I'd scoop up the shit and pissed on sand and dump it at the base of their front door. That should be a strong hint that you've had enough. And If that doesn't do the trick, I'd them simply load up a can of tuna with some rat poison, place it near the sand and kill the f#ckers. Once you see the can's empty, remove it. Let these idiots prove you did it. Good luck with that.

Irresponsible pet owners SUCK. Sounds like a learning experience is in order.

go bowe
04-15-2005, 06:38 PM
* * *
So if I was you, first I'd scoop up the shit and pissed on sand and dump it at the base of their front door. That should be a strong hint that you've had enough. And If that doesn't do the trick, I'd them simply load up a can of tuna with some rat poison, place it near the sand and kill the f#ckers. Once you see the can's empty, remove it. Let these idiots prove you did it. Good luck with that.
* * *wow, you think that might work on guinta?

Frazod
04-15-2005, 06:40 PM
[QUOTE=frazod]* * *
So if I was you, first I'd scoop up the shit and pissed on sand and dump it at the base of their front door. That should be a strong hint that you've had enough. And If that doesn't do the trick, I'd them simply load up a can of tuna with some rat poison, place it near the sand and kill the f#ckers. Once you see the can's empty, remove it. Let these idiots prove you did it. Good luck with that.
* * *QUOTE]wow, you think that might work on guinta?

Probably.... :evil:

morphius
04-15-2005, 06:45 PM
wow, you think that might work on guinta?
No, 'cause Vermeil will back his buddy and would talk about how us fans don't see everything that is going on and have no idea what we are talking about.

Hell, we tried Whitlock already...

Sparhawk
04-15-2005, 07:40 PM
Perhaps you should consider telling your neighbors that you are going to sue them if their cats crap in your yard again?

Coach
04-15-2005, 08:01 PM
Perhaps you should consider telling your neighbors that you are going to sue them if their cats crap in your yard again?

You could do that, property damages.

Over-Head
04-15-2005, 08:15 PM
Take a few shots at it with a bb gun.
It wonít do anything but sting the animal a bit (assuming you are smart enough to be a fair distance away) , and a few shots in the ass should keep the critter away.
Worked for me with the neighbours dog.

Cntrygal
04-17-2005, 04:26 PM
So if I was you, first I'd scoop up the shit and pissed on sand and dump it at the base of their front door. That should be a strong hint that you've had enough.

This may work.... I did something along those lines with a neighbor that would let her dog out to shit in my front yard. One day they came home while I was flinging dog crap back into their yard. I just smiled at them and went into my garage. They kept a better eye on their dog. Another lady likes to walk her dog around the neighborhood and lets it crap in everyone elses yard. Well, one day when I wasn't working, I caught them in my yard. :D I told her that she was to take the shit with her, and if I EVER found anymore dogshit in my yard.... I would find her house to let my lab shit in her yard. (My dog outweighs hers by at least 25 pounds.)

I don't think I'd bother going up to their door though. I'd just fling the crap right over the fence and let them step in it when mowing their yard. :D

Valiant
04-17-2005, 04:59 PM
You could have animal control send them a letter that if they cannot control their cats, they could get fined or the cats could be caught when they are not in their yard...

or...

paintball gun with frozen paintballs...

tazer...

taking your dog in their backyard to shit...


but i would get a vicious dog and let them have dessert... **** cats..

Cochise
04-17-2005, 05:01 PM
1. Get one large rubbermade tub with lid
2. Get live traps from cops
3. Collect cats one by one in the live traps.
4. Store cats in bin. Air holes optional.
5. When you have them all, leave neighbors a note telling them what Chinese restaurant you've mailed the bin to.

4th and Long
04-17-2005, 05:04 PM
I havent bothered to read through the entire thread so forgive me if this has already been mentioned.

KITTY COCKTAIL

Take 1 capfull of antifreeze and set it out for kitty to drink. It smells and tastes sweet to cats and will kill them deader than a door nail.

Or so I've heard.

Douche Baggins
04-17-2005, 05:09 PM
I'd be setting up shop by a window with a bb gun and capping kitty in the ass.

Congrats on the new sig/avatar, 4th. I can eat again.

4th and Long
04-17-2005, 05:13 PM
I'd be setting up shop by a window with a bb gun and capping kitty in the ass.

Congrats on the new sig/avatar, 4th. I can eat again.
I refuse to be held responsible for any significant weight gain you may incur. :p

I may need youre help with something in the near future gc, seeings as you're one of the resident computer nerds and I myself am lucky to be able to boot up a PC.

chiefs4me
04-17-2005, 05:35 PM
I havent bothered to read through the entire thread so forgive me if this has already been mentioned.

KITTY COCKTAIL

Take 1 capfull of antifreeze and set it out for kitty to drink. It smells and tastes sweet to cats and will kill them deader than a door nail.

Or so I've heard.





:eek:..........:grr:.........:spank:...........:harumph:

4th and Long
04-17-2005, 05:37 PM
:eek:..........:grr:.........:spank:...........:harumph:
Oh please. There are 5 billion cats on the planet. It's not like we're talking about taking a pot shot at the last Dodo bird here.

chiefs4me
04-17-2005, 05:39 PM
Oh please. There are 5 billion cats on the planet. It's not like we're talking about taking a pot shot at the last Dodo bird here.




:rolleyes:

4th and Long
04-17-2005, 05:59 PM
:rolleyes:
Heeeeeeeeeeeeeere kitty, kitty, kitty ...

http://www.cfainc.org/jpgs/cat-antifreeze.jpg

ragedogg69
04-17-2005, 06:29 PM
I would figure this story is appropriate:

My coworker had a problem with his neighbors cat coming over and taking a dump on his doorstep. So one day him and his buddies were having a few beers and saw that cat. They grabbed a can of white spray paint and gave the black cat a nice stripe from its head to its tail. A week later, they had seen no such cat and finally had a reason to go over to his the cats house. When he finally got there he saw this scrawny cat stumbling around without any hair. He asked what was up with his cat.
"Some asshole spray painted a stripe on him, so we had to shave off his hair. And to make matters worse, the spray paint chemicals got into the cats head and gave it brain damage."

My coworker and his buddies quickly got the hell outta there and laughed there asses off for the rest of the nite.

So since they already know you have issue with the cats, i suggest not doing anything to alter the cats.

Terribilis
04-17-2005, 08:01 PM
this has to be the most disturbing thread I have read to date

Phobia
04-17-2005, 08:14 PM
I am amazed at everyone on this thread that condones killing the cats and then gets up in arms about dogs being killed on different threads.

What the hell is the difference?

I kill snakes, spiders, and roaches for the same reason - my wife doesn't like them.

Dick Bull
04-17-2005, 08:39 PM
Oh please. There are 5 billion cats on the planet. It's not like we're talking about taking a pot shot at the last Dodo bird here.

5 billion and 5.

My cat just had kittens, I intend to teach them the art of self defense and stealth type neighbors yard pooping.

If you don't see or hear anything in your backyard, but look out to notice a nice pile of doo.

Beware there are ninja cats lurking.

Phobia
04-17-2005, 08:49 PM
5 billion and 5.

My cat just had kittens, I intend to teach them the art of self defense and stealth type neighbors yard pooping.

If you don't see or hear anything in your backyard, but look out to notice a nice pile of doo.

Beware there are ninja cats lurking.

You should teach them to swim at an early age.

4th and Long
04-17-2005, 08:59 PM
You should teach them to swim at an early age.
Kittens are actually very good swimmers. Pop tells me stories of when he was a kid that they used to take baby kittens, put them in the rain barrel and watch them swim around. Of course there was this one time when they got called in for supper and forgot about the kittens swimming in the barrel and ...

Demonpenz
04-17-2005, 10:54 PM
cats are real good swimmers for some reason. Throw a cat in a pool they can get out of it fast as hell. I threw my cat in a hot tub one time and before it even got in deep it freaking ran to the side jumped out and gave me a horrible look.

Simplex3
04-17-2005, 11:01 PM
cats are real good swimmers for some reason. Throw a cat in a pool they can get out of it fast as hell. I threw my cat in a hot tub one time and before it even got in deep it freaking ran to the side jumped out and gave me a horrible look.
I see the problem here. You forgot to put it in the burlap bag with the brick first.

fan4ever
04-18-2005, 10:09 AM
Heeeeeeeeeeeeeere kitty, kitty, kitty ...

http://www.cfainc.org/jpgs/cat-antifreeze.jpg

Hmmm, it is about time to do a tune-up on my car.

In all seriousness, I like the suggestion of animal control sending them a letter explaining what would happen to their cats, especially one referencing complaints by neighbors. Every once in a while their cats will diappear for a couple of days and they freak. You can hear the nerd-ass husband out in the yard doing his 'tarded "cat call"...sounds gay as hell.

I don't know how much more life this thread has, but thanks to all of you for the suggestions, and especially the laughs. To those of you worried about the little kitties, I'm a nice guy; I won't kill them :rolleyes:

Rain Man
04-18-2005, 10:16 AM
You should just consider yourself lucky that the cats visit you. Cats are pretty much superior to humans in every way. If they only had opposable thumbs, we'd be the pets.

Iowanian
04-18-2005, 10:38 AM
Just to be clear.......you KNOW who owns these cats?

1. rake up a bucket of the cat-dung
2. smear like Cake Icing on their Front steps.

While there are some nice ideas already presented.......knowing how many dp4me's are really out there, and knowing that you don't want to be on the news tomorrow as jack-the-cat-ripper.........

Silent Violence.

Pick them off with your method of choice, put them in a bag, pitch them out of site. Keep your mouth shut. Deny any knowledge.


If you just want to have some fun, and make a point.........masking tape on teh feet could be a funny site.

jcl-kcfan2
04-18-2005, 10:42 AM
I am amazed at everyone on this thread that condones killing the cats and then gets up in arms about dogs being killed on different threads.

What the hell is the difference?

People don't let their dogs run free like cat owners do, I guess it's a responsibility thing, and cats SUCK!!!

Scaga
04-18-2005, 10:49 AM
Order something from the ACME company.
I'm sure they make something that would take care of the little bastards.

chiefs4me
04-18-2005, 11:36 AM
I see the problem here. You forgot to put it in the burlap bag with the brick first.


asshole...

chiefs4me
04-18-2005, 11:37 AM
Just to be clear.......you KNOW who owns these cats?

1. rake up a bucket of the cat-dung
2. smear like Cake Icing on their Front steps.

While there are some nice ideas already presented.......knowing how many dp4me's are really out there, and knowing that you don't want to be on the news tomorrow as jack-the-cat-ripper.........

Silent Violence.

Pick them off with your method of choice, put them in a bag, pitch them out of site. Keep your mouth shut. Deny any knowledge.


If you just want to have some fun, and make a point.........masking tape on teh feet could be a funny site.





:harumph:

badgirl
04-18-2005, 12:17 PM
I didn't read the whole thread, so someone else may have suggested this, I would catch the cats outside and take them for a ride, its not your fault if they run off.

badgirl
04-18-2005, 12:19 PM
this has to be the most disturbing thread I have read to date
I see you haven't been on here long, trust me there are more disturbing threads. Stick around the fun is just beginning. :p

Chief Faithful
04-18-2005, 02:15 PM
I didn't read the whole thread, so someone else may have suggested this, I would catch the cats outside and take them for a ride, its not your fault if they run off.

Are you suggesting someone could drop them off in a wild life preserve a couple hundred miles away like they do with stray bears or lions?

chiefs4me
04-18-2005, 02:36 PM
I didn't read the whole thread, so someone else may have suggested this, I would catch the cats outside and take them for a ride, its not your fault if they run off.



And maybe in the process be taking some childs pet away from them...


honey you really don't like animals.....do ya?

badgirl
04-18-2005, 02:48 PM
And maybe in the process be taking some childs pet away from them...


honey you really don't like animals.....do ya?
I can live without them, the people who these animals belong to needs to be more considerate of other peoples property, if they want to keep their childs pet they need to take care of the problem, not let it become someone elses.

badgirl
04-18-2005, 02:49 PM
Are you suggesting someone could drop them off in a wild life preserve a couple hundred miles away like they do with stray bears or lions?
well I wouldn't drive 200 miles to do it with the price of gas, but maby on the other side of town.

chiefs4me
04-18-2005, 02:57 PM
I can live without them, the people who these animals belong to needs to be more considerate of other peoples property, if they want to keep their childs pet they need to take care of the problem, not let it become someone elses.




We really need to know who was there first...the kitty or his litter boxes........ROFL Not a very bright move on his part if he knew there were cats next door and put in sandcourts. Also,I bet the cats kept the snakes and mice and lizards and bugs away from his yard.....:)


I also wasn't jumping on you..I just don't think getting rid of the cats the cowardly way that so many have suggested is the right way to do it.

Cochise
04-18-2005, 03:05 PM
well I wouldn't drive 200 miles to do it with the price of gas, but maby on the other side of town.

That's why I suggested employing the good 'ol United States Postal Service.

Iowanian
04-18-2005, 03:15 PM
:harumph:

If a small child pouted as much as you do........I'd stop the car and give their bottom 4-5 good whacks with an open hand.

"Dry it up before I have to give you something to Cry about"

badgirl
04-18-2005, 03:43 PM
We really need to know who was there first...the kitty or his litter boxes........ROFL Not a very bright move on his part if he knew there were cats next door and put in sandcourts. Also,I bet the cats kept the snakes and mice and lizards and bugs away from his yard.....:)


I also wasn't jumping on you..I just don't think getting rid of the cats the cowardly way that so many have suggested is the right way to do it.
so what are you saying, that when he moved in and saw the neighbors had cats he should have not built his kids a sandbox to play in and let the cats control his life? I don't think so.
Far as it being a cowardly way to get rid of them maby your right, I would just choke the little bastards and then take them for a ride.

Phobia
04-18-2005, 03:47 PM
If I were you, I'd use the cats to test your new feline hang glider....

Duct tape the cat to a 1x6, drop in inside your sunroof, grab its tail, and let go at 85. I'm sure the cat will enjoy the ride. Plus, you have 3 attempts to get it right.

Rain Man
04-18-2005, 03:50 PM
Are you suggesting someone could drop them off in a wild life preserve a couple hundred miles away like they do with stray bears or lions?


So this is how I get rid of stray bears?

HC_Chief
04-18-2005, 03:51 PM
Get yourself a good BB gun.
Or, if you're afraid you may hurt them, an airsoft pistol.

The cost in both cases is about the same: ~$100. The former can injure/kill the cat; the latter will sting but not hurt them unless you hit them in the eye at close range. Airsoft = plastic BBs; the pistols operate on green gas... rounds travel approx 350-400 fps with an effective range of 30 meters. Some come fully automatic - can spray 50-100 rounds in a matter of a couple trigger squeezes :D

BRRRRRRRRRRRT! Terrified kitty goes running

chiefs4me
04-18-2005, 03:58 PM
If a small child pouted as much as you do........I'd stop the car and give their bottom 4-5 good whacks with an open hand.

"Dry it up before I have to give you something to Cry about"



:p

Chief Faithful
04-18-2005, 04:10 PM
So this is how I get rid of stray bears?

Yes,...you having a problem with bears these days?

Rain Man
04-18-2005, 04:16 PM
Yes,...you having a problem with bears these days?

http://www.chiefsplanet.com/BB/showthread.php?t=114097

Well, I haven't seen them personally, but apparently we've got them.