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View Full Version : what can i do to get the new girl fired??!!!


MOhillbilly
04-19-2005, 07:08 AM
Ohhhhhhhhhh i hate her.
Now understand its almost impossible to get fired from here. Ive been here almost 6 years if that tells you anything.
So heres the deal i want to choke the life outta her eyes everytime she speaks(wouldnt be so bad if she was hot but shes DOG ugly).
Not only is she to stupid to do the job,but she lies nonstop.
Tried to tell us her fiances dad was a hired killer for the Govt. but drove trucks and that cops shake in there boots when confronted by this killer who makes ends meet by driving big rigs.:rolleyes:
Another dandy was her parents owned the house in steel magnolias.

:banghead::banghead::banghead:
told her first thing "dont ask me 900 stupid questions today"

i want to get to quit,commit suicide or fired.

Any pointers?

regards
Ol Scratch

Skip Towne
04-19-2005, 07:24 AM
It sounds like she will get herself fired. Hide and watch.

wilas101
04-19-2005, 07:29 AM
She could "accidently" drink some Drain-O

Saulbadguy
04-19-2005, 07:31 AM
Her dad is Tom Cash?

MOhillbilly
04-19-2005, 07:34 AM
:shake:Im thinking about paying a bum to scare her off or a pack of them.

BigRedChief
04-19-2005, 07:39 AM
Yep, let her hang herself. Sounds like she could cause you major grief and take you down with her.

MOhillbilly
04-19-2005, 07:41 AM
Yep, let her hang herself. Sounds like she could cause you major grief and take you down with her.

summer vacation really wouldnt bother me.

Rain Man
04-19-2005, 07:44 AM
Tell her that the key to success is to constantly be with the boss making small talk. Also tell her that the boss loves the movie "Steel Magnolias" and thinks that Princess Di was murdered by a high-skills hit man.

MOhillbilly
04-19-2005, 07:47 AM
Tell her that the key to success is to constantly be with the boss making small talk. Also tell her that the boss loves the movie "Steel Magnolias" and thinks that Princess Di was murdered by a high-skills hit man.

you may be onto something w/ the first part....

Scorp
04-19-2005, 07:47 AM
Just pat her on the ass every morning and say "HI SWEETCHEEKS". She will eventually quit. ROFL

Kerberos
04-19-2005, 07:48 AM
Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap!

More than just a Song in those words!

Concrete Shoes, Neck Ties, Contracts ... High Voltage!

You would think someone on this board would be able to "Help" you out with this predicament!

J/K

:D


.

MOhillbilly
04-19-2005, 07:49 AM
Just pat her on the ass every morning and say "HI SWEETCHEEKS". She will eventually quit. ROFL


not a snowballs chance in hell im touchin that ditchpig.

How would my street cred look if i got fired cause i "touched" a troll?
sides shed probably like it.
hotgirl? yes. skankoid? no.

MOhillbilly
04-19-2005, 07:56 AM
PS---- HI Robbie. If youre reading this PLEASE TELL your dad this girl needs to go.
shes been here four -five days and shes asking me the same questions over and over.

makes me want to get my shotgun outta the truck!!!

Warrior5
04-19-2005, 08:02 AM
Put her on ignore.

Phobia
04-19-2005, 08:03 AM
A bowl of Antifreeze?

Cntrygal
04-19-2005, 08:05 AM
I'll trade ya. A two for one deal even. I've got two guys that need to have TWO plastic bags over their heads and duct tape wrapped around their necks.

ChiefsOne
04-19-2005, 08:07 AM
Telll the boss she is sexually harassing you. Grabbing your sac and junk.

JakeT
04-19-2005, 08:07 AM
Tell her that the key to success is to constantly be with the boss making small talk. Also tell her that the boss loves the movie "Steel Magnolias" and thinks that Princess Di was murdered by a high-skills hit man.


the undisputed winner

cracked up in the cube

Skip Towne
04-19-2005, 08:09 AM
You are in Springfield right? Did this new girl used to work at a bank? Does she say chit a lot?

MOhillbilly
04-19-2005, 08:12 AM
Telll the boss she is sexually harassing you. Grabbing your sac and junk.

there was a girl when i first started here who smarted off that she was gonna tell the boss i was messing w her.
i turned around and said " ill tell em you pined me against the wall and grabed my nuts" that ended that.

So morning deliveries were supposed to go out at 9 the guy is standing there waiting for her to print the paper work out(shes had 45 min to do it) i tell her "hurry up hes not goping to stand there all day" she tells me " shut the hell up"

OHHH its so ****in on!!

Phobia
04-19-2005, 08:12 AM
You are in Springfield right? Did this new girl used to work at a bank? Does she say chit a lot?

Damn. That's brutal.

chiefs4me
04-19-2005, 08:13 AM
I'll trade ya. A two for one deal even. I've got two guys that need to have TWO plastic bags over their heads and duct tape wrapped around their necks.





ohhh.....can I help......ROFL

Phobia
04-19-2005, 08:14 AM
ohhh.....can I help......ROFL

Only if you help drown a batch of kittens first.

ChiefsOne
04-19-2005, 08:15 AM
you still work for that printer?

MOhillbilly
04-19-2005, 08:15 AM
You are in Springfield right? Did this new girl used to work at a bank? Does she say chit a lot?

yes. hold on ill ask her......nope a loan title place. You mean talk shit or say "chit"? yeah she talks shit 24-7.

MOhillbilly
04-19-2005, 08:16 AM
you still work for that printer?

yes.

ChiefsOne
04-19-2005, 08:21 AM
JD from your company came in my office a week or two ago to try to get our business. What's her name, maybe I can call with a complaint.

MOhillbilly
04-19-2005, 08:23 AM
JD from your company came in my office a week or two ago to try to get our business. What's her name, maybe I can call with a complaint.

wrong CO.

munkey
04-19-2005, 08:28 AM
Tried to tell us her fiances dad was a hired killer for the Govt. but drove trucks and that cops shake in there boots when confronted by this killer who makes ends meet by driving big rigs.:rolleyes:



She'll do herself in...just watch.

I worked with a gal that liked to brag about her nake wrestling matches with her husband. To picture her stories made me want to barf as she was on the heavy side with an insecure stuckup attitude (I hate people like that).

If I had been giving the same info to a bunch of females I guarantee I would have been fired.

Funny...I'll never forget that weirdo...:Lin:

ChiefsOne
04-19-2005, 08:29 AM
I was guess I got the name of your co wrong.

chiefs4me
04-19-2005, 08:32 AM
Only if you help drown a batch of kittens first.



:spank:










So you are talking to me.....;)

Cntrygal
04-19-2005, 08:35 AM
ohhh.....can I help......ROFL


Sure. Although, it won't be much of a challenge.... they both move as fast as frozen molasses and just about as smart.

morphius
04-19-2005, 08:39 AM
Tell her to shut up or you will call the inquirer and finish her fiance's Dad's career.

chiefs4me
04-19-2005, 08:39 AM
Sure. Although, it won't be much of a challenge.... they both move as fast as frozen molasses and just about as smart.




I love duct tape.....it is the 8th wonder of the world...can you imagine what it could do to some men.....duct tape applied to the right body part can hurt like hell......ROFL

morphius
04-19-2005, 08:42 AM
I love duct tape.....it is the 8th wonder of the world...can you imagine what it could do to some men.....duct tape applied to the right body part can hurt like hell......ROFL
So, you are kinky.

Cntrygal
04-19-2005, 08:43 AM
I love duct tape.....it is the 8th wonder of the world...can you imagine what it could do to some men.....duct tape applied to the right body part can hurt like hell......ROFL


I always have duct tape in the house. :thumb: And the thought that you offer is HYSTERICAL. ROFL Although the two idiots I'm talking about are probably ball-less

chiefs4me
04-19-2005, 08:44 AM
So, you are kinky.



I guess it depends on who you are asking.......it could be cosidered kinky or mean.......;)

Vegas_Dave
04-19-2005, 08:45 AM
if you are a supervisor, just start acting like the toughest boss you can be... thats what I recently did.

I had this little hobbit toll of an employee who was about as stupid as I have ever seen. I didnt hire her. We dont like to fire people either because of unemployment benefits we would have to pay. So I just quit tolerating her crap and was a strict boss. I wasnt mean, just strict and expected her to... actually do her job!

she quit 3 days later.

Either that or you can just claim sexual harassment and get her canned that way. :):hump:

chiefs4me
04-19-2005, 08:46 AM
I always have duct tape in the house. :thumb: And the thought that you offer is HYSTERICAL. ROFL Although the two idiots I'm talking about are probably ball-less



So you knew exactly where I was talking about applying it....ROFL

I need to ask my ex husband if the hairs ever grew back.:D

Skip Towne
04-19-2005, 08:46 AM
I always have duct tape in the house. :thumb: And the thought that you offer is HYSTERICAL. ROFL Although the two idiots I'm talking about are probably ball-less
So the two idiots are officers then?

SCTrojan
04-19-2005, 08:47 AM
If your company does random drug testing, you could slip her a mickey.

Cntrygal
04-19-2005, 08:49 AM
So you knew exactly where I was talking about applying it....ROFL

I need to ask my ex husband if the hairs ever grew back.:D


:evil:

MOhillbilly
04-19-2005, 08:49 AM
if you are a supervisor, just start acting like the toughest boss you can be... thats what I recently did.




its already started.

Brock
04-19-2005, 08:50 AM
Bone her. That will get both of you fired.

Cntrygal
04-19-2005, 08:51 AM
So the two idiots are officers then?


Actually no. So, I have GREAT hope that they may be joining the civilian work force (McD's anyone?), by the end of the year.

MOhillbilly
04-19-2005, 08:56 AM
If your company does random drug testing, you could slip her a mickey.

its why there are so many tards get hired here. I wish they would though cull the stoners.

tyton75
04-19-2005, 09:00 AM
plant a 1/5th of Vodka in her desk (cheapstuff that comes in a plastic bottle)... then put a little needle pinhole in the bottom so it will slowly leak out.. everyone will eventually smell it and come looking...


problem solved

MOhillbilly
04-19-2005, 09:26 AM
plant a 1/5th of Vodka in her desk (cheapstuff that comes in a plastic bottle)... then put a little needle pinhole in the bottom so it will slowly leak out.. everyone will eventually smell it and come looking...


problem solved

nice and i work 40 yards from a Brown Derby.ROFL

Iowanian
04-19-2005, 09:49 AM
I think you should send her a scathing neg rep.


Put a hot pad, baking glove and a pie tin on her desk.

chiefs4me
04-19-2005, 11:16 AM
I think you should send her a scathing neg rep.


Put a hot pad, baking glove and a pie tin on her desk.


:rolleyes:.....










I told you I would bake you a pie if you drove to texas.....;)

ENDelt260
04-19-2005, 11:45 AM
Put her on ignore.
Haha.

Saulbadguy
04-19-2005, 11:48 AM
Bone her. That will get both of you fired.
"Was that wrong? Should I have not done that? I tell you I gotta plead ignorance on this thing because if anyone had said anything to me at all when I first started here that that sort of thing was frowned upon, you know, cause I've worked in a lot of offices and I tell you people do that all the time."

BIG_DADDY
04-19-2005, 11:51 AM
its why there are so many tards get hired here. I wish they would though cull the stoners.

Everyone would recognize the smell of a little skunk bud coming from her desk then. :hmmm:

Rausch
04-19-2005, 11:53 AM
plant a 1/5th of Vodka in her desk (cheapstuff that comes in a plastic bottle)... then put a little needle pinhole in the bottom so it will slowly leak out.. everyone will eventually smell it and come looking...


problem solved

Man of my own heart.

You could also bookmark barnyard-pr0n on her browser. Put a copy of "Catcher in the Rye" on her desk.

HemiEd
04-19-2005, 12:24 PM
Customer complaints usually work, are you tight with any of them? :hmmm:

MOhillbilly
04-19-2005, 12:32 PM
Customer complaints usually work, are you tight with any of them? :hmmm:
all of them but im gonna have my girl and her friends call and complain that she was rude,just gotta get the details ironed out tonight and then i attack on all fronts tommorow.

dumbass is still asking me questions after ive told her over and over to stifle it.

just waiting for the boss to leave so i can push her.

Iowanian
04-19-2005, 01:48 PM
Push her?

No way can you take this chic if she's as big of a beastasaurus as you said.

I suggest a less obvious approach. You could start effing with her with things like, putting a piece of masking tape over the bottom of her mouse Roller/laser.

MOhillbilly
04-19-2005, 01:50 PM
Push her?

No way can you take this chic if she's as big of a beastasaurus as you said.

I suggest a less obvious approach. You could start effing with her with things like, putting a piece of masking tape over the bottom of her mouse Roller/laser.

:)

owner just told me to be nice so i dont run her off.

I told him im going to anyway.

milkman
04-19-2005, 07:58 PM
After reading this thread, I can't help but get a picture of Drew Carey and that troll that worked in the show with him.

Skip Towne
04-19-2005, 08:06 PM
:)

owner just told me to be nice so i dont run her off.

I told him im going to anyway.
I'm betting on the cvnt. I'll bet she kicks your hillbilly azz!!!

papasmurf
04-19-2005, 08:39 PM
be nice get her knocked up

luv
04-20-2005, 12:27 AM
be nice get her knocked up


umm, interesting suggestion, but he would have to:

1. Get really drunk
2. Place a bag over her head
3. Pay for a kid

I'd rethink that one. lol

alanm
04-20-2005, 12:43 AM
"Was that wrong? Should I have not done that? I tell you I gotta plead ignorance on this thing because if anyone had said anything to me at all when I first started here that that sort of thing was frowned upon, you know, cause I've worked in a lot of offices and I tell you people do that all the time."
Nice one George. ROFL

Rausch
04-20-2005, 12:47 AM
umm, interesting suggestion, but he would have to:

1. Get really drunk
2. Place a bag over her head
3. Pay for a kid

I'd rethink that one. lol

Nein.

He would have to:

1: Get them both drunk.
2: Tape wha' is to happen, to destroy the defense and jade the jury.
3: Go redwood-deep into the back-side-mudd-slide...

Win-Win situation...

Redcoats58
04-20-2005, 12:47 AM
Bring this to work and shoot her in the face with a potato.

http://www.ourvictorianhouse.com/Nuker/nuker%20001%20a.jpg

Rausch
04-20-2005, 12:49 AM
3. Pay for a kid

I'd rethink that one. lol

It would take one unlucky mudderfugger to land on that square.

Rausch,

thinks he'll send a christmass card but won't shake luv2rite's hand....

Rausch
04-20-2005, 12:50 AM
Bring this to work and shoot her in the face with a potato.

http://www.ourvictorianhouse.com/Nuker/nuker%20001%20a.jpg

Wow....that looks like a seriously geek-engineered weapon there.... ROFL

Redcoats58
04-20-2005, 12:56 AM
Wow....that looks like a seriously geek-engineered weapon there.... ROFL
Lol, no doubt.

ENDelt260
04-20-2005, 01:12 AM
After reading this thread, I can't help but get a picture of Drew Carey and that troll that worked in the show with him.
She was both the best and worst thing to happen to that show.

Idiot audiences love an Urkel... so, a lot of focus went to that bullshit character. If it hadn't been for her, the quality would've been better. Drew's a funny guy... and apparently they had some good writers around him. But, if it weren't for her, the dipshits wouldn't have tuned in.. and, it would've been cancelled right away. So, no one would've seen the good quality material... much less appreciated it.

They still managed to have some good stuff, though. At least Urkel was the draw to what was a shitty show anyway. It hurts more when they do shit like that to something with potential.

ENDelt260
04-20-2005, 01:13 AM
I'm betting on the cvnt. I'll bet she kicks your hillbilly azz!!!
Good call. Try to get him riled up. Then we'll get a much better thread out of the deal. "I got fired, AND charged with assault!"

You'd almost think you took a psychology class in HS.

ENDelt260
04-20-2005, 01:15 AM
3: Go redwood-deep into the back-side-mudd-slide...

Man... I really hope I remember this in the morning. Along with "I look at the glass half ****ed up."

ENDelt260
04-20-2005, 01:16 AM
Wow....that looks like a seriously geek-engineered weapon there.... ROFL
No f*cking shit. I remember when potato guns were some poorly cobbled together pvc. The "fancy" ones had strikers from propane lamps.

Rausch
04-20-2005, 01:20 AM
Man... I really hope I remember this in the morning.

If not, swear by the haggis you'll projectile vommit all over the next gathering at........oh............spelling is all gone now...

Rausch
04-20-2005, 01:24 AM
Lol, no doubt.

Well, fair enough. You rig this friggen mortar-tater-on-crack in a way you can acually fire the bastidge...

I'll give you casualties.... :)

Logical
04-20-2005, 01:36 AM
A bowl of Antifreeze?Will ditchpigs drink from a bowl?

Fairplay
04-20-2005, 01:37 AM
Will ditchpigs drink from a bowl?



ROFL

MOhillbilly
04-20-2005, 08:23 AM
she wont even look at me today. And lucky her im quiting smoking.

Told her yesterday before i left to Shut you ****in face.

it set the mood nicely for this morning.:mad:

Iowanian
04-20-2005, 08:29 AM
Good call. Try to get him riled up. Then we'll get a much better thread out of the deal. "I got fired, AND charged with assault!"

You'd almost think you took a psychology class in HS.

Psychology class?

Skip tutored under Aristotle.......Being Greekish, probably Physically too.

badgirl
04-20-2005, 09:46 AM
Mohillbilly, make her do all the work around the place and if she doesn't seem busy tell her to clean the bathrooms, dust, make her do all your work to that she can, keep her hopping, every minute, she'll get tired of doing the tolet, I don't know just a idea. :shrug:

I'd say telling her to shut her f*cking face may have also been a way to make her seek other employment opportunities, if she stays around and takes the verbal abuse your dishing out shes is more stupid than you think.

MOhillbilly
04-20-2005, 10:30 AM
, if she stays around and takes the verbal abuse your dishing out shes is more stupid than you think.

thats the most scared ive been in a while,those words sent a chill down my spine....

Skip Towne
04-20-2005, 10:39 AM
Psychology class?

Skip tutored under Aristotle.......Being Greekish, probably Physically too.
Really weak. We want funny pictures.

MOhillbilly
04-28-2005, 01:23 PM
spells news journal
Neuse gremal.


im not smart enough to make this up.

Kyle401
04-28-2005, 02:26 PM
spells news journal
Neuse gremal.


im not smart enough to make this up.

If she's that dumb and she isn't hot (or has great cans at least), she must have something really good on your boss.

ct
04-28-2005, 02:29 PM
too lazy to read thru again and catch up, any progress?

MOhillbilly
04-28-2005, 02:46 PM
NO.
the blind lead the blind around here.
Yesterday she wrote the alphabet so she could file tickets.
thats
abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz.

Kyle401
04-28-2005, 02:57 PM
NO.
the blind lead the blind around here.
Yesterday she wrote the alphabet so she could file tickets.
thats
abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz.

ROFL Welcome to pre-school.

ct
04-28-2005, 03:15 PM
NO.
the blind lead the blind around here.
Yesterday she wrote the alphabet so she could file tickets.
thats
abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz.

oh boy...

Have you considered finding a new gig yourself? Not to cave into her, but rather the refusal to work for such an athanine boss who would hire her?

MOhillbilly
04-28-2005, 03:17 PM
oh boy...

Have you considered finding a new gig yourself? Not to cave into her, but rather the refusal to work for such an athanine boss who would hire her?

same dude hired me though.ROFL

yes.

CosmicPal
04-28-2005, 03:21 PM
If she's dumb, fat and ugly, just tell her the Wal-Mart down the street is hiring.

Skip Towne
04-28-2005, 03:29 PM
Wow. I wonder where the boss found her? Have you thought about putting an ad in the neuse gremal?

MOhillbilly
04-28-2005, 03:42 PM
If she's dumb, fat and ugly, just tell her the Wal-Mart down the street is hiring.

it would put a smarter minority outta work.

MOhillbilly
04-28-2005, 03:44 PM
Wow. I wonder where the boss found her? Have you thought about putting an ad in the neuse gremal?


ROFLROFLim gonna ask her to look it up in the phone book!!!!!!!!

MOhillbilly
05-04-2005, 12:18 PM
I win. She didnt come back from lunch.

Phobia
05-04-2005, 12:22 PM
I win. She didnt come back from lunch.

Do you have an alibi or would you prefer that I delete this thread?

MOhillbilly
05-04-2005, 12:28 PM
Do you have an alibi or would you prefer that I delete this thread?

it was her choice.

ENDelt260
05-04-2005, 01:11 PM
Got her to quit in two weeks... color me moderately impressed.

Skip Towne
05-04-2005, 01:23 PM
Nice goin' 'billy. Maybe you'll get a hottie next time.