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Count Zarth
04-21-2005, 06:16 AM
So there I was, shopping at a mall department store with my parents. Suddenly it was time to go. But WAIT! I said. There's this old cantankerous man that wants to have a beer with me. I have the cans and two glasses and everything (don't ask where I got these from). I'll just drop them off instead I guess.

So I go to drop them off but suddenly I'm giving two cans of beer and two glasses to the mall front-desk receptionist, who is...ALFRE WOODARD? Don't give that to me! She says. I could get fired! Just turn them upside down (how does that hide them?) and everyone will think it's ginger ale (the cans are green), I say. She takes the beer and I go off to get a shirt.

After retrieving my shirt I hear a booming voice. I put on a blue button-down shirt and I walk back to the front doors, where I see a giant man in a grey suit shouting at Alfre Woodard. Apparently she's being fired. EXCUSE ME! I shout at the man. I tell the man that I gave her the beer and she hasn't even opened the cans yet. Furthermore, the store is closing in 20 minutes. He's overreacting and only seeking to bolster his ego by firing Alfre Woodard. He doesn't care and fires her anyway, and starts walking out to his car.

I follow him, screaming obscenities and calling him "a f*cking corporate whore with corporate whore hair and etc etc etc." Suddenly this man is the size of a giraffe. He goes to his car (I'm still shouting at him) and gets out a swiss army knife. He flicks out the bottle-opener portion of the knifery and proceeds to walk toward my parents car.

By the time he gets there he is the size of a normal man. My father has a shotgun, preparing to defend himself against the attack of the corporate whore wielding a swiss army knife bottle opener. He swings at the hood of my father's blue suburban (which I haven't seen in almost 5 years) and my father fires.

The blast hits the corporate whore in the head, causing a bright red spurt of blood to fountain out of his head. He collapses neatly to the ground. My father kicks him into a storm drain. No one around us has seen the incident. Then I woke up.

THE END

http://www.nccu.edu/campus/echo/archive8-0102/ae-speech.jpg

CrazyHorse
04-21-2005, 06:51 AM
I think the interpretation for any dream with Alfre Woodard in it translates into you being homosexual. IIRC.

Count Zarth
04-21-2005, 08:50 AM
Alfre Woodard!

Brock
04-21-2005, 08:52 AM
I think the interpretation for any dream with Alfre Woodard in it translates into you being homosexual. IIRC.

The ghey factor is very high, IMO.

Mark M
04-21-2005, 08:54 AM
Who the hell is Alfre Woodard?

MM
~~:spock:

Rain Man
04-21-2005, 09:18 AM
I have no idea who Alfre Woodard is.

However, the international references with giraffes, Swiss army knives, green beer bottles, etc., and the murder of the corporate executive by a domestic person in a suburban lead me to conclude that this dream is essentially about American competition to international food giant Nestle.

Edubs
04-21-2005, 09:23 AM
You got probs. I had a dream that I opened my mail box and I saw a guy I knew from highschool getting it on with a chick. Yes, the f-er was in my mail box getting some tail. I yelled at him to get out. That was all I remember. $hit...I got probs.

ROYC75
04-21-2005, 09:23 AM
I knew you were one strange puppy.........


Just some more evidence..........


Thanks.

Count Zarth
04-21-2005, 10:00 AM
Who the hell is Alfre Woodard?

MM
~~:spock:

An actress. She's the woman in the photo I posted.

Man I thought everyone knew who Alfre Woodard was.

Count Zarth
04-21-2005, 10:00 AM
I have no idea who Alfre Woodard is.

However, the international references with giraffes, Swiss army knives, green beer bottles, etc., and the murder of the corporate executive by a domestic person in a suburban lead me to conclude that this dream is essentially about American competition to international food giant Nestle.

That's a nice theory, however it was green beer CANS.

Also it wasn't murder, it was clearly self defense. :harumph:

Mark M
04-21-2005, 10:04 AM
An actress. She's the woman in the photo I posted.

She looks familiar, but can't place her. Was she on MadTV?

Man I thought everyone knew who Alfre Woodard was.

That's what you get for thinking.

MM
~~:p

Calcountry
04-21-2005, 10:04 AM
So there I was, shopping at a mall department store with my parents. Suddenly it was time to go. But WAIT! I said. There's this old cantankerous man that wants to have a beer with me. I have the cans and two glasses and everything (don't ask where I got these from). I'll just drop them off instead I guess.

So I go to drop them off but suddenly I'm giving two cans of beer and two glasses to the mall front-desk receptionist, who is...ALFRE WOODARD? Don't give that to me! She says. I could get fired! Just turn them upside down (how does that hide them?) and everyone will think it's ginger ale (the cans are green), I say. She takes the beer and I go off to get a shirt.

After retrieving my shirt I hear a booming voice. I put on a blue button-down shirt and I walk back to the front doors, where I see a giant man in a grey suit shouting at Alfre Woodard. Apparently she's being fired. EXCUSE ME! I shout at the man. I tell the man that I gave her the beer and she hasn't even opened the cans yet. Furthermore, the store is closing in 20 minutes. He's overreacting and only seeking to bolster his ego by firing Alfre Woodard. He doesn't care and fires her anyway, and starts walking out to his car.

I follow him, screaming obscenities and calling him "a f*cking corporate whore with corporate whore hair and etc etc etc." Suddenly this man is the size of a giraffe. He goes to his car (I'm still shouting at him) and gets out a swiss army knife. He flicks out the bottle-opener portion of the knifery and proceeds to walk toward my parents car.

By the time he gets there he is the size of a normal man. My father has a shotgun, preparing to defend himself against the attack of the corporate whore wielding a swiss army knife bottle opener. He swings at the hood of my father's blue suburban (which I haven't seen in almost 5 years) and my father fires.

The blast hits the corporate whore in the head, causing a bright red spurt of blood to fountain out of his head. He collapses neatly to the ground. My father kicks him into a storm drain. No one around us has seen the incident. Then I woke up.

THE END

http://www.nccu.edu/campus/echo/archive8-0102/ae-speech.jpgAfter you woke up, were the sheets wet and sticky?

JOhn
04-21-2005, 10:06 AM
I have no idea who Alfre Woodard is.

However, the international references with giraffes, Swiss army knives, green beer bottles, etc., and the murder of the corporate executive by a domestic person in a suburban lead me to conclude that this dream is essentially about American competition to international food giant Nestle.
No, clearly the answer to this dream is 12 :harumph:

Count Zarth
04-21-2005, 10:06 AM
She looks familiar, but can't place her. Was she on MadTV?

No. She's been in quite a few movies. I first saw her in Star Trek: First Contact.

Other notable films:

The Forgotten
Radio
The Core

http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0005569/

Mark M
04-21-2005, 10:10 AM
No. She's been in quite a few movies. I first saw her in Star Trek: First Contact.
Never seen it.

Other notable films:

The Forgotten
Radio
The Core

http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0005569/
Never seen it, never seen it, never seen it.

Of course, I also don't live in my parents basement, so maybe that's part of the problem.

MM
~~;)

Count Zarth
04-21-2005, 10:14 AM
Never seen it.


Never seen it, never seen it, never seen it.

Of course, I also don't live in my parents basement, so maybe that's part of the problem.

MM
~~;)

I've only seen two of those four films. Your hypothesis is interesting but ultimately incorrect.

Cannibal
04-21-2005, 11:29 AM
I once had a dream that a gigantic black spider, 6 or 7 feet tall, 10 feet in diameter with shiny skin ran for student president of my junior class in high school. The spider eventually won the presidency by using some sort of mind control. The spider had a huge pit filled with a disgusting black liquid which also contained spider eggs about the size of an apple. Using it's mind control, it forced many students including myself to "bob for apples" and take the eggs from the black pool and place them on the ground in a pile next to the black pool. Eventually, Eddie Murphy's character, Axle Foley from Beverly Hills Cop showed up to try and stop the Junior class President and was promply eviscerated.

MOhillbilly
04-21-2005, 11:49 AM
i vote its time for gochiefs to go until he gets his meds straight.


BAN HIM!

Count Zarth
04-21-2005, 11:50 AM
i vote its time for gochiefs to go until he gets his meds straight.


BAN HIM!

Heh. I'm not on any meds.

Ultra Peanut
04-21-2005, 11:52 AM
Sweet Ethel Merman on a popsicle stick, you smell like artichoke hearts.

jarjar
04-21-2005, 12:03 PM
You're concerned about your drinking. Your father is on your side but you think you both might be in the wrong anyway.

Mark M
04-21-2005, 12:48 PM
Heh. I'm not on any meds.

That may be part of the problem ...

MM
~~;)

Rain Man
04-21-2005, 12:54 PM
I once had a dream that a gigantic black spider, 6 or 7 feet tall, 10 feet in diameter with shiny skin ran for student president of my junior class in high school. The spider eventually won the presidency by using some sort of mind control. The spider had a huge pit filled with a disgusting black liquid which also contained spider eggs about the size of an apple. Using it's mind control, it forced many students including myself to "bob for apples" and take the eggs from the black pool and place them on the ground in a pile next to the black pool. Eventually, Eddie Murphy's character, Axle Foley from Beverly Hills Cop showed up to try and stop the Junior class President and was promply eviscerated.

Did it fulfill its promise of getting Mountain Dew added to the coke machines in the cafeteria?

Ultra Peanut
04-21-2005, 12:59 PM
You just want to see boys' linuses.

Cannibal
04-21-2005, 07:06 PM
Did it fulfill its promise of getting Mountain Dew added to the coke machines in the cafeteria?

No, but you should have seen in it gym class. Nobody wanted to shower with it.