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View Full Version : If you were a serial killer...


SNR
04-28-2005, 06:09 AM
...what would you say to your victims before you brutally kill them?

I think I would go the Aqua Teen route and say, "Nice head, I think I'll take it."

Amnorix
04-28-2005, 06:11 AM
This thread gets my early vote for "most disturbing thread of the week"....

Big Chief Homer
04-28-2005, 06:24 AM
"Coco-puffs or frosted flakes"

headsnap
04-28-2005, 06:46 AM
"How'd you like them apples!"




"one lump, or two?"

patteeu
04-28-2005, 06:46 AM
This is gonna hurt me more than it hurts you.

headsnap
04-28-2005, 06:48 AM
This is gonna hurt me more than it hurts you.

wow, there are alot of parents with repressed feelings here. ROFL

ExtremeChief
04-28-2005, 06:52 AM
If I was a cereal killer, before I killed them I would scream, "Cheerios!!!! Beeyotch."

the Talking Can
04-28-2005, 06:52 AM
"I said no onions."

wilas101
04-28-2005, 06:55 AM
well.... I think rather than killing them right off I'd keep them held hostage somewhere for a while. The entire time I'd call the person by a different name (like for women I'd call them Brenda) and accuse them of doing stuff that never happened.

Then I'd wait and I'd keep talking to her and letting her tell me that she's not Brenda. After say... the 50th time that she tells me I would reply "I know, I just wanted to f**k with ya for a while."

then I'd kill her.

I'd probably use the name Ted for guys.

the Talking Can
04-28-2005, 06:57 AM
well.... I think rather than killing them right off I'd keep them held hostage somewhere for a while. The entire time I'd call the person by a different name (like for women I'd call them Brenda) and accuse them of doing stuff that never happened.

Then I'd wait and I'd keep talking to her and letting her tell me that she's not Brenda. After say... the 50th time that she tells me I would reply "I know, I just wanted to f**k with ya for a while."

then I'd kill her.

I'd probably use the name Ted for guys.


ok, I'm leaving this thread.....

wilas101
04-28-2005, 07:07 AM
Don't leave now, Ted, hang out with us for a while.

Phobia
04-28-2005, 07:09 AM
well.... I think rather than killing them right off I'd keep them held hostage somewhere for a while. The entire time I'd call the person by a different name (like for women I'd call them Brenda) and accuse them of doing stuff that never happened.

Then I'd wait and I'd keep talking to her and letting her tell me that she's not Brenda. After say... the 50th time that she tells me I would reply "I know, I just wanted to f**k with ya for a while."

then I'd kill her.

I'd probably use the name Ted for guys.

The thread title clearly states "IF" you were a serial killer. It makes no provisions for actual serial killers. Go start your own thread.

wilas101
04-28-2005, 07:16 AM
I haven't done that yet so the "IF" is still applicable to me. :)

MOhillbilly
04-28-2005, 07:28 AM
you know w/ this .38 in my hand i could make you do just about anything i wanted to.

RedNFeisty
04-28-2005, 07:32 AM
Can't you do better then that? You are worthless and deserve to die!

patteeu
04-28-2005, 08:07 AM
Don't leave now, Ted, hang out with us for a while.

ROFL

siberian khatru
04-28-2005, 08:15 AM
I don't think I would ever kill randomly. The only people I would kill would be people I know and hate.

I would torture them slowly, and if they had family I would probably tie up my victim and make him watch me slowly torture and kill his family, taunting him the whole time. Then I would shoot his kneecaps and slice off his ears and nose.

I can never decide, though, if I would go ahead and kill him, or let him live a life disfigured, with the memories of what he saw done to his family haunting him forever. That probably would be a whole lot worse than death.

As for me, I'd take my punishment. I would surrender to police, plead no contest at trial and accept the needle. My goal would be pure evil revenge, not trying to get away with it.

KILLER_CLOWN
04-28-2005, 08:20 AM
What do you mean "were"?

Are you double jointed? or Stretch armstrong was never this much fun.

CanadianChief
04-28-2005, 08:20 AM
Death by Boontah!!!

Coach
04-28-2005, 08:31 AM
"I'm BTK's long lost brother."

munkey
04-28-2005, 08:37 AM
:shake:

Frankie
04-28-2005, 08:37 AM
This is a SICK thread and I REFUSE TO PARTICIPATE IN IT.

Hey,.... Wait a minute!!!

CosmicPal
04-28-2005, 08:46 AM
I think we might have to turn you over to the authorities.

MOhillbilly
04-28-2005, 08:56 AM
I don't think I would ever kill randomly. The only people I would kill would be people I know and hate.

I would torture them slowly, and if they had family I would probably tie up my victim and make him watch me slowly torture and kill his family, taunting him the whole time. Then I would shoot his kneecaps and slice off his ears and nose.

I can never decide, though, if I would go ahead and kill him, or let him live a life disfigured, with the memories of what he saw done to his family haunting him forever. That probably would be a whole lot worse than death.

As for me, I'd take my punishment. I would surrender to police, plead no contest at trial and accept the needle. My goal would be pure evil revenge, not trying to get away with it.

Rookie.

siberian khatru
04-28-2005, 08:59 AM
Rookie.

Congratulations, you just made the list. :fire:



ROFL

SNR
04-28-2005, 09:06 AM
I'm quite proud of this thread

MOhillbilly
04-28-2005, 09:07 AM
Congratulations, you just made the list. :fire:



ROFL

the fear of anticipation is much more fun than the actual act itself.

gblowfish
04-28-2005, 09:09 AM
"Are you about a size fourteen?"
From Silence of the Lambs: The musical.

siberian khatru
04-28-2005, 09:10 AM
the fear of anticipation is much more fun than the actual act itself.

Got that right.

Count Zarth
04-28-2005, 09:12 AM
I'd do a little Kurgan routine from Highlander before yelling ."THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE! YEEEEEEEEEEEEARGH!"

http://missspooky.free.fr/mswfilm/Highlander/kurgan/kurgan_casque.jpg

Boise_Chief
04-28-2005, 09:37 AM
IT PUT'S THE LOTION ON IT'S SKIN!!!

Biohazard
04-28-2005, 09:55 AM
im 30% gay and now your going to die because i know its your fault!! DAMN IT!!!!

ENDelt260
04-28-2005, 09:58 AM
im 30% gay and now your going to die because i know its your fault!! DAMN IT!!!!
What is thirty percent gay? Does that mean you only give handjobs to dudes... you don't suck dick or take it in the ass?

Count Zarth
04-28-2005, 10:01 AM
What is thirty percent gay? Does that mean you only give handjobs to dudes... you don't suck dick or take it in the ass?

Take the test... :)

tyton75
04-28-2005, 10:03 AM
*..Singing in the rain, poppop, I'm just singing in the rain.. kickkick.. *

ENDelt260
04-28-2005, 10:03 AM
Take the test... :)
Ok...

Do I like f*cking men? Mmm, no.

There we go. 0% gay.

MOhillbilly
04-28-2005, 10:14 AM
*..Singing in the rain, poppop, I'm just singing in the rain.. kickkick.. *

Viddy well little brother. viddy well.

Rain Man
04-28-2005, 10:26 AM
Truthfully, I'd probably be too excited to say anything. I'd just swing the axe and swing it and swing it and laugh hysterically and swing it some more and whoop while I did that Star Wars kid routine, but with my axe instead of a light saber.

Spicy McHaggis
04-28-2005, 10:59 AM
Turn on the music and do the dance from Reservoir Dogs.