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View Full Version : Some Things I Learned at a Sarah McLachlan Concert


KCWolfman
05-01-2005, 11:07 AM
1. 98% of all lesbians are really not attractive at all.
2. Sarah is obviously a genius when it comes to the genre of music.
3. I don't care how smart Sarah is, even 5th row seats didn't make me like her music.
4. Coffeehouse music belongs in a coffeehouse.
5. Sarah's musicians are obviously hand-picked and are almost as versed in musical creation and collaboration as she is.
6. After three songs, you keep asking yourself "didn't she already play this song?"
7. 100% of the 98% of unattractive lesbians are even more unattractive when they get to crying.
8. The setting was one of the coolest I had ever seen, a worn castle destroyed by time with trees, grass, and other "nature" objects taking back over complete with a video backdrop.
9. Sarah needs to come out to the audience and watch that backdrop to realize how silly her Pink Floydesque swirling colors and lava lamp moments look when synched to her music.
10. Sarah afficianados, take note: Do not raise your rock fist when a song of Sarah's has 8 total bars of whining electric guitar. Sarah McLachlan is NOT rock fist music and you just look silly.
11. The other 2% are very attractive.
12. There could have been a support group started with all the unhappy males who attended last night.
13. No matter who you are, no matter how big you get - never, Never, NEVer, NEVER have a Swedish band who can't speak English open for you.
14. Sarah, her husband, and about half of her band had horrible colds and fevers, yet they still performed very well.
15. No matter how well they performed, I still didn't like the music.

shaneo69
05-01-2005, 11:09 AM
I will remember you....


That had to be a rock fist moment.

dirk digler
05-01-2005, 11:11 AM
16. My image of you has greatly diminished.

KCWolfman
05-01-2005, 11:12 AM
I will remember you....


That had to be a rock fist moment.
Trust me, there was no rock fist moment, although with the plethora of butch lesbians in attendance, I am sure some sort of fist moments were engaged later that evening.

jspchief
05-01-2005, 11:12 AM
I don't know what bet you lost to have to attend that, but I would have welched on it.

Baby Lee
05-01-2005, 11:14 AM
I like her CDs, but couldn't imagine wanting to see her live.

KCWolfman
05-01-2005, 11:15 AM
16. My image of you has greatly diminished.
Me too.

Thing was, I thought I had gotten out of the concert. I suggested my wife and her sister go and I could hang out with my brother-in-law. He is a foreman for a huge construction company in town (they created the new KC Star building, the Mall of the Great Plains, part of the NASCAR track, etc) and listens to nothing but old 80s hairband rock. So my wife call her sister to tell her the good news and we come to find out that my brother-in-law bought tix because he likes Sarah McLachlan!!!! I never accounted for the wild card in my perfect scenario of beer, video games, and loud 80s music all night long. Curses, foiled again.

dirk digler
05-01-2005, 11:18 AM
Me too.

Thing was, I thought I had gotten out of the concert. I suggested my wife and her sister go and I could hang out with my brother-in-law. He is a foreman for a huge construction company in town (they created the new KC Star building, the Mall of the Great Plains, part of the NASCAR track, etc) and listens to nothing but old 80s hairband rock. So my wife call her sister to tell her the good news and we come to find out that my brother-in-law bought tix because he likes Sarah McLachlan!!!! I never accounted for the wild card in my perfect scenario of beer, video games, and loud 80s music all night long. Curses, foiled again.

ROFL

80's hairband rock = Sarah McLachlan... nice

Did he put his fist in the air too?

I was up at Ace Sports yesterday and the guy said he couldn't give his tickets away. Of course I didn't offer to take them either.

KCWolfman
05-01-2005, 11:20 AM
ROFL

80's hairband rock = Sarah McLachlan... nice

Did he put his fist in the air too?

I was up at Ace Sports yesterday and the guy said he couldn't give his tickets away. Of course I didn't offer to take them either.
I wish he had. I would have taken a pic complete with Sarah in the background and posted it all over his latest construction site. The bastard sold me down the river.

jspchief
05-01-2005, 11:22 AM
Maybe you should have borrowed some balls from one of the women next to you, so next time your wife wants to imasculate you you can say "hell no".

dirk digler
05-01-2005, 11:23 AM
I wish he had. I would have taken a pic complete with Sarah in the background and posted it all over his latest construction site. The bastard sold me down the river.

ROFL

I feel your pain I really do.

ROFL

|Zach|
05-01-2005, 11:23 AM
Ha!

KCWolfman
05-01-2005, 11:28 AM
Maybe you should have borrowed some balls from one of the women next to you, so next time your wife wants to imasculate you you can say "hell no".
Obviously you have not learned the finer points to the process of marital bargaining. I was paid back in spades later that evening.

Sure-Oz
05-01-2005, 11:31 AM
i would've said NO too, atleast you had the wife excuse.

KCWolfman
05-01-2005, 11:32 AM
i would've said NO too, atleast you had the wife excuse.
LOL. Yup, thank goodness for the wife.

Dartgod
05-01-2005, 11:34 AM
I was paid back in spades later that evening.
Spades? I'd have rather had a blow job.

AZORChiefFan
05-01-2005, 11:36 AM
Well I feel your pain. I was at Coachella last year with a female friend of mine. And the band in the pic "Le Tigre" was playing the same time as The Cure. The Cure sounded like crap and my friend really likes Le Tigre so off I went with her to watch them. As it turns out most the songs were grrl power dance songs or lesbian power dance songs. I feared for my life in that crowd. "Get the penis weilder! it must be destroyed!" is what I kept waiting to hear.

Oh yeah can you guess what all three in this pic have in common?

They're all 'ladies'. Yes even the one with facial hair. Even my friend thought it was 2 chicks and dude. Not three chicks, one of which wishes she had a d!ck.

ChiefJustice
05-01-2005, 11:40 AM
Dammit!!!

Phil,can't you ban Russ for this thread?

There has to be something you can do!

|Zach|
05-01-2005, 11:42 AM
Was the girl\guy ratio still 1:1 when you went home?

KCWolfman
05-01-2005, 11:44 AM
Was the girl\guy ratio still 1:1 when you went home?
Define "girl".

KCWolfman
05-01-2005, 11:45 AM
Well I feel your pain. I was at Coachella last year with a female friend of mine. And the band in the pic "Le Tigre" was playing the same time as The Cure. The Cure sounded like crap and my friend really likes Le Tigre so off I went with her to watch them. As it turns out most the songs were grrl power dance songs or lesbian power dance songs. I feared for my life in that crowd. "Get the penis weilder! it must be destroyed!" is what I kept waiting to hear.

Oh yeah can you guess what all three in this pic have in common?

They're all 'ladies'. Yes even the one with facial hair. Even my friend thought it was 2 chicks and dude. Not three chicks, one of which wishes she had a d!ck.
Gah. Yeah, it wasn't Stevie Nicks lesbian night, you know - prom gown and extensive hanging jewelry. It was more flannel shirt and jeans showing flat asses night.

AZORChiefFan
05-01-2005, 11:46 AM
Was the girl\guy ratio still 1:1 when you went home?
If that's directed at me, yes. She's a friend and she's married. If not directed towards me oh well. FWIW she's not a big fan of their politics or anything like that she just likes the band.

|Zach|
05-01-2005, 11:46 AM
Define "girl".
Heh.

http://www.coolnurse.com/images/vagina.jpg

ChiefJustice
05-01-2005, 11:47 AM
Define "girl".

Is she a moderator for ChiefsPlanet.com? :)

|Zach|
05-01-2005, 11:47 AM
If that's directed at me, yes. She's a friend and she's married. If not directed towards me oh well. FWIW she's not a big fan of their politics or anything like that she just likes the band.
It wasn't but your story was interesting nonetheless. :)

KCWolfman
05-01-2005, 11:48 AM
If that's directed at me, yes. She's a friend and she's married. If not directed towards me oh well. FWIW she's not a big fan of their politics or anything like that she just likes the band.
I am pretty sure Zach was talking to me.

AZORChiefFan
05-01-2005, 11:48 AM
I loves me some flannel shirt and jeans lesbians just as long as they are in work boots. Gawdamn thats a fine woman!

el borracho
05-01-2005, 11:49 AM
Oh, come on now. I think you are exagerrating. Surely the hit single "Power to the Uterus" must be a rock fist moment.

By the way, Russ, are you a 2 percenter or a 98 percenter?

KCWolfman
05-01-2005, 11:50 AM
I loves me some flannel shirt and jeans lesbians just as long as they are in work boots. Gawdamn thats a fine woman!
LOL


You don't get out much, do you?

It was a N.O.W. event. You know why the women who join N.O.W. join, don't you? They aren't ever doing anything on Friday nights anyway.

KCWolfman
05-01-2005, 11:51 AM
Oh, come on now. I think you are exagerrating. Surely the hit single "Power to the Uterus" must be a rock fist moment.

By the way, Russ, are you a 2 percenter or a 98 percenter?
I may have been 98%, but I guarantee I would be in the upper range of the crowd I saw last night.

|Zach|
05-01-2005, 11:51 AM
I am pretty sure Zach was talking to me.
Speaking of music, I am starting a new section on my site you would dig.

Link and explanation...you will need to throw some more list ideas at me.

http://zachishere.com/?p=214

stevieray
05-01-2005, 11:52 AM
did you say "excuse me mister" to any women?

We went to see sting, and gay concert crowds are weird. It doesn't even feel like a concert, more like a uptight poserfest.

KCWolfman
05-01-2005, 11:52 AM
Speaking of music, I am starting a new section on my site you would dig.

Link and explanation...you will need to throw some more list ideas at me.

http://zachishere.com/?p=214
Very cool. Megan and I will be checking it out at length tonight with feedback.

ChiefJustice
05-01-2005, 11:53 AM
LOL


You don't get out much, do you?

It was a N.O.W. event. You know why the women who join N.O.W. join, don't you? They aren't ever doing anything on Friday nights anyway.


I think Russ is just trying to cover his tracks now...

Boyceofsummer
05-01-2005, 12:21 PM
this thread directly to the 'Hall of Classics'
rochambeau

Braincase
05-01-2005, 12:33 PM
But seriouslt Russ - Sarah has a nice rack, eh?

andoman
05-01-2005, 12:59 PM
Forgive me, but I do own one Sarah McLachlan song - Sweet Surrender. I don't know what the song is really about, I just always liked to hear her sing

I only hope that I wonít disappoint you
When Iím down here on my knees

Cochise
05-01-2005, 01:24 PM
Yes, I think most real-life lesbians are not people who have a lot of options anyway.

Frazod
05-01-2005, 01:26 PM
I'll trade you Sarah McLachlan for the Bob Dylan/Tracy Chapman I was once dragged to. 15 years later, and I'm still scarred. :#

|Zach|
05-01-2005, 01:27 PM
Bob Dylan\Tracy Chapman? That would be awesome.

Frazod
05-01-2005, 01:30 PM
Bob Dylan\Tracy Chapman? That would be awesome.

No, it wasn't. :cuss:

But at least Tracy Chapman can sing. UNLIKE BOB F#CKING DYLAN. :bang:

Cochise
05-01-2005, 01:40 PM
No, it wasn't. :cuss:

But at least Tracy Chapman can sing. UNLIKE BOB F#CKING DYLAN. :bang:

Dude, you don't listen to Bob Dylan expecting to hear vocal talent.

R&GHomer
05-01-2005, 01:45 PM
Think thatís bad? Try going to a Village People concert. My older brother was working for Q104 while they where still a top 40ís station and they had an anniversary type concert at kemper. This was right before they changed to country. Anyway, my girl friend at the time talks me into going and boy did I regret it. Lezbos are one thing, but a lot of guys dressed up like village people characters areÖ Well, SICK FUGGS!

It was extremely funny though when John did an on air announcement inviting everyone down to the scratch and bite festival. Bring your own gerbil and get in for half price. Of course it didnít go down real well with the execís but I laughed my ass of for a few hours. One guy even jumped up on stage and tweaked the cowboy and ran off like a 13 year old school girl. Thatís about the time Jackson and I had too start talking football and sports. How bout them chiefs? Yeah I think the D is going to kick ass this year... err grrrree uggghhh. Yep, yep thats what I'm talking bout.

Frazod
05-01-2005, 02:06 PM
Dude, you don't listen to Bob Dylan expecting to hear vocal talent.

Yes, I do. If someone is going to get up on stage and charge people money to listen to him sing, he should be ABLE TO SING.

If he isn't then he should simply write songs and let people with actual talent sing them.

Bob Dylan can suck my ass. That was the longest three hours of my life.

Joe Seahawk
05-01-2005, 02:21 PM
I'm a lesbian..

HolmeZz
05-01-2005, 02:24 PM
My friend's sister grew up with McLachlan. Said she's an uber bitch.

Nzoner
05-01-2005, 02:35 PM
did you say "excuse me mister" to any women?

We went to see sting, and gay concert crowds are weird. It doesn't even feel like a concert, more like a uptight poserfest.

Reminds me of the time I was drug to see a Cher concert,I drank nothing that night for fear of having to go into the men's restroom.

Braincase
05-01-2005, 03:59 PM
I'm a lesbian..

...trapped in the mind of a Seahawks fan.

Is that somehow oxymoronically redundant?

CosmicPal
05-01-2005, 04:06 PM
You do know her one hit song, "Possession" is stolen material?

Story is, she had a guy stalking her when she first came onto the scene as a singer/songwriter. He kept writing her poems and letters that went unheeded. She later had him arrested and then wrote "Possession" and the guy then sued her for stealing lines from the poems he sent her. Listen to the song, and you can see where the guy might have been right.

Rain Man
05-01-2005, 04:15 PM
11. The other 2% are very attractive.



And THIS, my friends, is what makes it all worthwhile.

HolmeZz
05-01-2005, 05:01 PM
You do know her one hit song, "Possession" is stolen material?

Story is, she had a guy stalking her when she first came onto the scene as a singer/songwriter. He kept writing her poems and letters that went unheeded. She later had him arrested and then wrote "Possession" and the guy then sued her for stealing lines from the poems he sent her. Listen to the song, and you can see where the guy might have been right.

'Cause she's an uber bitch.

Joe Seahawk
05-01-2005, 06:29 PM
I'm a lesbian..

:hmmm:

I see my son is having some fun with me..
(note to self log off of Chiefs planet when you leave the computer)

:cuss:

ENDelt260
05-01-2005, 06:30 PM
:hmmm:

I see my son is having some fun with me..
(note to self log off of Chiefs planet when you leave the computer)

:cuss:
I think it's a cry for help. You should sit him down for a heart to heart.

I bet that'll teach him to mess w/ your computer.

BigRedChief
05-01-2005, 10:46 PM
I was dragged by the wife as an anniversary present to the show so the only enjoyment I got was that 2% thats was very hot. Not like the Motley Crue concert (that was babe heaven) but the Sarah crowd had its moments.

I knew it was going to be different at the T-Shirt counter. Everyone was orderly in nicely formed lines and not pushing and the vendors would answer questions. It was all very organized. I guess uber lezbos are not pushy towards each other in public?

tk13
05-02-2005, 12:49 AM
I like her music, wouldn't really be interested in seeing her live though...