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View Full Version : Apostrophe Is Out of Control in Minnesota!!


gblowfish
05-05-2005, 11:21 AM
Don't think I saw this posted, if so, apologies. Apparently, the apostrophe is bedeviling the poor University of Minnesota! Story attached:

Apostrophe riles Minnesotans

MINNEAPOLIS (AP) Apostrophe boosters were in mourning at the
University of Minnesota after it was decided to name a fancy new
walkway the Scholars Walk, not the Scholar's Walk.
"I'm terribly disappointed," said Larry Laukka, who leads the group
developing the $4.5 million walkway. "I'll have to lick my wounds. But
I'll get over it."

For weeks, the issue has bedeviled those at the university and beyond
who care a great deal about such things. English professors, e-mailers
from across the United States and even the Apostrophe Protection
Society of England offered advice.

Laukka argued to board members of the nonprofit University Gateway
Corp. that an apostrophe would add distinction by suggesting it is
owned by those it honors.

That argument didn't work. The board voted 4-1 against the punctuation
mark.

The board worried that the apostrophe would make the four-block
walkway appear exclusive at a time the university wants to be
inclusive. It might even mean adding apostrophes to Regents Professors
Square and a Professors Lane.

"Apostrophes would be out of control!" said board member Margaret Carlson.

Bearcat
05-05-2005, 11:24 AM
Apostrophe Protection
Society of England

:spock:

JimNasium
05-05-2005, 11:26 AM
WTF is going on here?

Rain Man
05-05-2005, 11:27 AM
This is an abomination.

ENDelt260
05-05-2005, 11:28 AM
The board worried that the apostrophe would make the four-block
walkway appear exclusive at a time the university wants to be
inclusive.

ROFL Hahahahahaha!!!

Gee, we'd sure hate for non-scholars to feel unwelcome at our University.

The University of Minnesota: Welcoming scholars and uneducated dumbasses alike!

JimNasium
05-05-2005, 11:28 AM
This is an abomination.
What does the abomination snow man have to do with this?

Skip Towne
05-05-2005, 11:31 AM
We must arm ourselves and march on Minnesota.

Rain Man
05-05-2005, 11:33 AM
Apostrophe Protection Society of England



I demand an explanation of why this organization isn't called England's Apostrophe Protection Society.

That's an abomination.

ENDelt260
05-05-2005, 11:37 AM
I demand an explanation of why this organization isn't called England's Apostrophe Protection Society.

Fabulous point. You should write them a letter.

cookster50
05-05-2005, 11:52 AM
I bet if Rich Scanlon argued for the apostrophe, the board would have voted for it!

Braincase
05-05-2005, 12:15 PM
Here comes Johnny singing oldies, goldies
Be-Bop-A-Lula, Baby What I Say
Here comes Johnny singing I Gotta Woman
Down in the tunnels, trying to make it pay
He got the action, he got the motion
Oh Yeah the boy can play
Dedication devotion
Turning all the night time into the day

He do the song about the sweet lovin' woman
He do the song about the knife
He do the walk, he do the walk of life

Here comes Johnny and he'll tell you the story
Hand me down my walkin' shoes
Here comes Johnny with the power and the glory
Backbeat the talkin' blues
He got the action, he got the motion
Oh Yeah the boy can play
Dedication devotion
Turning all the night time into the day

He do the song about the sweet lovin' woman
He do the song about the knife
He do the walk, he do the walk of life

Here comes Johnny singing oldies, goldies
Be-Bop-A-Lula, Baby What I Say
Here comes Johnny singing I Gotta Woman
Down in the tunnels, trying to make it pay
He got the action, he got the motion
Oh Yeah the boy can play
Dedication devotion
Turning all the night time into the day

And after all the violence and double talk
There's just a song in all the trouble and the strife
You do the walk, you do the walk of life

ChiefsCountry
05-05-2005, 12:39 PM
I have found out at college, some people are just stupid and they like to gripe about the dumbest shit possible.

PastorMikH
05-05-2005, 12:44 PM
"Scholars Walk"


I see a bit of humerous irony there.

:)

kcfanintitanhell
05-05-2005, 02:14 PM
Anyone from the Apostrophe Protection Society of England would have a fatal meltdown if they ever visited Tennessee....I think the apostrophe is the state bird down here.

Rain Man
05-05-2005, 02:24 PM
If they named it the Scholar's Walk, would that mean that only one scholar at a time could use it? I think that both of their options are wrong, and it should be the Scholars' Walk.

Dinny Blues
05-05-2005, 02:31 PM
The answer is easy to see.

The crux of the biscuit is the apostrophe.

I told him no no no.......

Dinny

jarjar
05-05-2005, 02:53 PM
Dear Mister Language Person: What is the purpose of the apostrophe?

Answer: The apostrophe is used mainly in hand-lettered small business signs
to alert the reader than an "S" is coming up at the end of a word, as in:
WE DO NOT EXCEPT PERSONAL CHECK'S, or: NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR ANY ITEM'S.
Another important grammar concept to bear in mind when creating hand- lettered
small-business signs is that you should put quotation marks around random
words for decoration, as in "TRY" OUR HOT DOG'S, or even TRY "OUR" HOT DOG'S.
-- Dave Barry, "Tips for Writer's"

ENDelt260
05-05-2005, 04:30 PM
Dear Mister Language Person: What is the purpose of the apostrophe?

Answer: The apostrophe is used mainly in hand-lettered small business signs
to alert the reader than an "S" is coming up at the end of a word, as in:
WE DO NOT EXCEPT PERSONAL CHECK'S, or: NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR ANY ITEM'S.
Another important grammar concept to bear in mind when creating hand- lettered
small-business signs is that you should put quotation marks around random
words for decoration, as in "TRY" OUR HOT DOG'S, or even TRY "OUR" HOT DOG'S.
-- Dave Barry, "Tips for Writer's"
Bahaha.

That quote thing bugs me. I used to work with a guy that would put quotes around random words in his e-mails. I don't know how many times I got an e-mail and thought, "Why the f*ck are there quotes around the word the there? What the f*ck does that *mean*?"

Down in the cafeteria here at my present office theres a sign...

"Oven" is being replaced.

WTF? What the hell's getting replaced? Is it not really an oven?

tk13
05-05-2005, 04:35 PM
Boring article, about put me in a comma.

ENDelt260
05-05-2005, 04:35 PM
Boring article, about put me in a comma.
*groan*

tk13
05-05-2005, 04:39 PM
That said, it's better for the apostrophe to be out of control than the colon.

tk13
05-05-2005, 04:41 PM
And the period, well, don't even get me started...

Calcountry
05-05-2005, 05:33 PM
ROFL Hahahahahaha!!!

Gee, we'd sure hate for non-scholars to feel unwelcome at our University.

The University of Minnesota: Welcoming scholars and uneducated dumbasses alike!At least they don't have a fuggin problem figuring out what to call their fuggin Universities like Missouri does. ROFL

ChiefsCountry
05-05-2005, 05:37 PM
At least they don't have a fuggin problem figuring out what to call their fuggin Universities like Missouri does. ROFL

Hey now its just those bastards in Columbia who have the problem.

ENDelt260
05-05-2005, 05:37 PM
At least they don't have a fuggin problem figuring out what to call their fuggin Universities like Missouri does. ROFL
If you're suggesting that a university in Minnesota has never undergone a name change I'm going to go out on a limb and say you're wrong.

ENDelt260
05-05-2005, 05:39 PM
Hey now its just those bastards in Columbia who have the problem.
They don't have a problem figuring out what to call themselves. They've been the University of Missouri for a long time now. It's folks elsewhere that feel the need to change the name of their school every 30 years.

Calcountry
05-05-2005, 05:39 PM
Hey now its just those bastards in Columbia who have the problem.hehe, just throwin some old Planet thread smack at you Missourian's, is that with an apostrophe, or is it just Missourans.

?:p

ENDelt260
05-05-2005, 05:40 PM
hehe, just throwin some old Planet thread smack at you Missourian's, is that with an apostrophe, or is it just Missourans.

?:p
Well, according to Dave Barry, since you're a small business owner you should use the apostrophe to warn us of the upcoming s.

Thig Lyfe
05-05-2005, 05:43 PM
Look out -- apostrophetard on the loose.

Calcountry
05-05-2005, 05:58 PM
Well, according to Dave Barry, since you're a small business owner you should use the apostrophe to warn us of the upcoming s.No, I am a fuggin CASHIER dammit, and thanks for the warning.

Ultra Peanut
05-05-2005, 06:00 PM
If they named it the Scholar's Walk, would that mean that only one scholar at a time could use it? I think that both of their options are wrong, and it should be the Scholars' Walk.EXACTLY.

KCWolfman
05-05-2005, 06:00 PM
I demand an explanation of why this organization isn't called England's Apostrophe Protection Society.

That's an abomination.
Obviously it is due to wasteful people such as yourself who belittle the apostrophe with your senseless contractions.

ENDelt260
05-05-2005, 06:22 PM
Obviously it is due to wasteful people such as yourself who belittle the apostrophe with your senseless contractions.
Senseless contractions? Would you have him write out is not and that is? That seems rather demanding.

Skip Towne
05-05-2005, 06:26 PM
Im not going to use any more apostrophes. I dont want to waste em.