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Bob Dole
05-20-2005, 12:31 PM
Limbaugh's Top 10 Reasons Why White Folks Love NASCAR

10> LOUD! CARS! ROUND and ROUND! Yay!! Football make brain hurt!
9> If there's a crash, cousin Joe Bob might find a tooth donor.
8> My humble, grassroots, Southern Confederate heritage is only affirmed when watching millionaire celebrities race multi-hundred-thousand-dollar cars at billion dollar track events.
7> Roll bars make the ultimate gun rack.
6> For a brief moment, rednecks can believe the Dukes were real. Culture validated!
5> High octane fuel tastes just like moonshine!
4> Helmet and firesuit offer much more protection than a sheet with eye holes.
3> Let's face it, not many dress codes specify a wifebeater and Skoal cap as formal dress.
2> Where else are 70,000 good ol' boys and their barefoot-pregnant sister-wives going to go?

AND THE NUMBER 1 REASON WHY WHITE FOLKS LOVE NASCAR:

1> Chance to check out NASCAR team trailers for home improvement ideas.

Baby Lee
05-20-2005, 12:37 PM
1> Chance to check out NASCAR team trailers for home improvement ideas.
You joke, but if I were offered Jeff Gordon's RV, I'd walk away from my sh!tty little house and everything in it.
Marble, whirlpool tub, hardwoods, plasma tvs on every conceivable surface, an H2 tacked on the back.

Idahojim
05-20-2005, 12:39 PM
I'm told that the best time to shop at Wal mart is when a NASCAR race is on TV. Lines are a lot shorter.

Bob Dole
05-20-2005, 12:41 PM
I'm told that the best time to shop at Wal mart is when a NASCAR race is on TV. Lines are a lot shorter.

Around here, the best shopping is on Sunday before noon.

Kerberos
05-20-2005, 12:49 PM
Around here, the best shopping is on Sunday before noon.


YUP..... ding ding ding ..... we have a winner!


Get in and out before the Holy-Roll'in Pentacostals get out of church and crowd into wally-world.

:D



.

Bob Dole
05-20-2005, 01:30 PM
Bob Dole is still waiting for the outrage.

Rain Man
05-20-2005, 01:33 PM
Around here, the best shopping is on Sunday before noon.


I have two competing theories: church, and sleeping off benders.

vailpass
05-20-2005, 01:35 PM
Bob Dole is still waiting for the outrage.

Don't hold your breath. This particular bit of comedy targets a group that is on the "approved to laught at" list generated and moderated by the PC America movement.

Bob Dole
05-20-2005, 01:36 PM
I have two competing theories: church, and sleeping off benders.

Why the competing theories?

Are you one of those network execs that shot down the television series starring Sam Elliot?

BigRedChief
05-20-2005, 01:37 PM
Limbaugh's Top 10 Reasons Why White Folks Love NASCAR

10> LOUD! CARS! ROUND and ROUND! Yay!! Football make brain hurt!
9> If there's a crash, cousin Joe Bob might find a tooth donor.
8> My humble, grassroots, Southern Confederate heritage is only affirmed when watching millionaire celebrities race multi-hundred-thousand-dollar cars at billion dollar track events.
7> Roll bars make the ultimate gun rack.
6> For a brief moment, rednecks can believe the Dukes were real. Culture validated!
5> High octane fuel tastes just like moonshine!
4> Helmet and firesuit offer much more protection than a sheet with eye holes.
3> Let's face it, not many dress codes specify a wifebeater and Skoal cap as formal dress.
2> Where else are 70,000 good ol' boys and their barefoot-pregnant sister-wives going to go?

AND THE NUMBER 1 REASON WHY WHITE FOLKS LOVE NASCAR:

1> Chance to check out NASCAR team trailers for home improvement ideas.

You could have took the majority of this list and subsititued Raytown, mo. for Nascar 10 years ago and it would have been funny. Kind of like dumb jokes, subsitute Pollacks, Blondes, Donkey fans anything you want to diss.

ENDelt260
05-20-2005, 01:38 PM
You could have took the majority of this list and subsititued Raytown, mo. for Nascar 10 years ago and it would have been funny. Kind of like dumb jokes, subsitute Pollacks, Blondes, Donkey fans anything you want to diss.
Why white folks love Raytown, MO.

10. Loud! Cars! Round and round! Yay!! Football make brain hurt!

Hm... nope. Doesn't work. Don't quit your day job.

Simplex3
05-20-2005, 01:39 PM
Bob Dole is still waiting for the outrage.
Much like Christians and Buhists don't take to the streets rioting and killing over someone questioning their religion, whites don't tend to throw Internet hissies over racial jokes.

:shrug:

BigRedChief
05-20-2005, 01:42 PM
Why white folks love Raytown, MO.

10. Loud! Cars! Round and round! Yay!! Football make brain hurt!

Hm... nope. Doesn't work. Don't quit your day job.

You haven't been around these parts lately have you? Raytown's majority is now black. White flight is alive and well. I lived in KC but the end of my street was Raytown until I moved out to be Warfields neighbor out here in Chiefs Suburbia. So I'm one of them that fled. :p

ENDelt260
05-20-2005, 01:44 PM
Focus!

Iowanian
05-20-2005, 01:47 PM
Mr Dole,

I'd like to tell you that I"m glad to be on the forum and read the news about the team and other related items. I'd like to say that I'm happy to be posting, but I cannot. This type of posting is just so stereotyping and discriminating to Appalacian-Americans. Contrary to popular sentiment among non-nascar-Americans, Not All Appalacian Americans have mullets, Camaros, cars on blocks, live in trailer houses or reproduce within the same familiar lineage. I'll have you know sir, that even though I'm not an Appalacian American, I don't wear Wife beater shirts, drink budweiser, have a mullet(quite the contrary sir, as my hair is High and Tight), nor have I attempted reproduction with a sibling. I'm also educated enough to spell advanced words, for example: Spectacular....S-p-e-c-t-a-c-u-l-a-r.

You sir, are further contributing to the notion that nascar-Appalacian Americans fail to achieve a level of intelligence, allowing them to achieve anything higher than 8th grade education, a blue collar job, and an attention span that allows them to enjoy any activity requiring more brainpower than cheering whem smoke plumes indicate collisions.

It is preconcieved ideas like yours, which make you only look uninformed, are the reasons that some Appalacian-nascar-'mericans are confined to living in economically repressed areas and having their bowel movements in portable outdoor fascilit-ahs.

Good day Sir.

SPchief
05-20-2005, 02:43 PM
ROFL

Bob Dole
05-20-2005, 02:55 PM
Mr Dole,

I'd like to tell you that I"m glad to be on the forum and read the news about the team and other related items. I'd like to say that I'm happy to be posting, but I cannot. This type of posting is just so stereotyping and discriminating to Appalacian-Americans. Contrary to popular sentiment among non-nascar-Americans, Not All Appalacian Americans have mullets, Camaros, cars on blocks, live in trailer houses or reproduce within the same familiar lineage. I'll have you know sir, that even though I'm not an Appalacian American, I don't wear Wife beater shirts, drink budweiser, have a mullet(quite the contrary sir, as my hair is High and Tight), nor have I attempted reproduction with a sibling. I'm also educated enough to spell advanced words, for example: Spectacular....S-p-e-c-t-a-c-u-l-a-r.

You sir, are further contributing to the notion that nascar-Appalacian Americans fail to achieve a level of intelligence, allowing them to achieve anything higher than 8th grade education, a blue collar job, and an attention span that allows them to enjoy any activity requiring more brainpower than cheering whem smoke plumes indicate collisions.

It is preconcieved ideas like yours, which make you only look uninformed, are the reasons that some Appalacian-nascar-'mericans are confined to living in economically repressed areas and having their bowel movements in portable outdoor fascilit-ahs.

Good day Sir.

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