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Rain Man
05-20-2005, 05:20 PM
Consider this a public service. If every person who heeds this advice will follow my advice and then give me 0.01 percent of their extra raise money every year above the average for their firm, they'll be rich and I'll be rich and we'll all be happy.

My secret is obvious when you hear it, but 99 percent of people don't do it. By undertaking this one simple, simple action, you will guarantee yourself professional success.

Are you ready? Because once you hear it, I expect you to follow this advice, and you WILL be successful. You will set yourself apart from everyone else, and you'll quickly see the results in your wallet, your reputation, and eventually every aspect of your life. You will live well, you will marry a beautiful, successful person of whichever gender you're attracted to, and you will drive exotic cars and live in nice homes with multi-jetted showers in your master bath.

Why am I sharing this secret with you? Simple. I'm a boss now. I'm not competing against you, and I want you to do well. I want others to understand how this one simple behavior can lead to success, and how not doing it will inevitably lead to failure.

What am I charging for this life-changing advice? Nothing. Nada. Zilch. It is my gift to my friends at chiefsplanet.

Are you ready? It's so simple that it'll blow your mind. I hope you're sitting down.

Here goes.


Don't ...




... go home...




... before your boss.




I'm dead serious. You will be successful if you follow this one simple rule.


And yes, I'm here at work with the one employee who now makes 50 percent more than any other employee. He started out making the same amount.

Claynus
05-20-2005, 05:27 PM
Great advice, I will file it away.

Rain Man
05-20-2005, 05:28 PM
Thank you for listening.

Simplex3
05-20-2005, 05:28 PM
What if I am my boss? How does that work?

4th and Long
05-20-2005, 05:28 PM
Due to state and federal mandates, I cannot perform my daily work functions in my department unless my boss is present.

Any other bright ideas? :(

ENDelt260
05-20-2005, 05:30 PM
What if I am my boss? How does that work?
You can never go home.

Rain Man
05-20-2005, 05:30 PM
What if I am my boss? How does that work?

Then you can probably back up my claim. Spread the gospel, brotha!

Rain Man
05-20-2005, 05:31 PM
Due to state and federal mandates, I cannot perform my daily work functions in my department unless my boss is present.

Any other bright ideas? :(


Government jobs don't count. The secret to success for government workers is to ... get hired. After that, performance doesn't matter.

Mosbonian
05-20-2005, 05:33 PM
I am the boss...and my boss is rarely at the office. They seem to keep him on the road a lot lately.

So it is always easy to make sure I don't leave before the boss.

mmaddog
*******

4th and Long
05-20-2005, 05:33 PM
Government jobs don't count. The secret to success for government workers is to ... get hired. After that, performance doesn't matter.
I don't work for the government. :shake:

Nzoner
05-20-2005, 05:35 PM
What if I am my boss? How does that work?

I finally got smart and built a place big enough to house the business and the home.I work downstairs and live upstairs.

Rain Man
05-20-2005, 05:42 PM
I don't work for the government. :shake:


Then you're screwed. Instead of this advice, you should purchase my advice about "How to get rich through real estate investing."

Braincase
05-20-2005, 05:42 PM
And yes, I'm here at work with the one employee who now makes 50 percent more than any other employee. He started out making the same amount.

Damn! All the way up to $8.25 an hour! Probably needs the overtime. :D

chiefs4me
05-20-2005, 05:53 PM
Your story is funny.......but very true.

4th and Long
05-20-2005, 05:59 PM
Then you're screwed. Instead of this advice, you should purchase my advice about "How to get rich through real estate investing."
No disrespect intended but, SCREW THAT! I have better ways to spend my hard earned money than on a, risky as best, book about purchasing real estate. Yes-sir-ee-bob. I don't just throw my money around willy nilly on speculative ideas pertaining to property. No way. I have bigger and better things to spend my dough on. In fact, I made a nice little investment on my way home tonight.

*rubbing his $155,000,000 Powerball tickets*

Daddy Needs A New Pair Of Shoes!

eazyb81
05-20-2005, 06:01 PM
what if i'm a contractor and I don't really have a boss?

CosmicPal
05-20-2005, 06:06 PM
My boss is female, and I usually send her a pic of myself sunbathing in the nude. It's my way of showing her my humble appreciation of her giving me a raise.

Phobia
05-20-2005, 06:21 PM
Your advice didn't work for me in my last career. My boss didn't really give a shit about my extra hours.

runnercyclist
05-20-2005, 06:29 PM
That is one of the most moronic pieces of advice I have ever heard.

Work smarter, not longer.

Maybe if you are a security guard or something like that but if your job requires intellect I'm sure that the employee that gets the job done in a reasonable time, is dedicated and loyal and "leaves before the boss" which reach higher pinnacles than the suck up who does shoddy work but stays around until the boss leaves.

I'd kick that sucker to the curb.

Bob Dole
05-20-2005, 06:32 PM
Bob Dole's raises hahahaha...okay...no really. Bob Dole's hahahahahahahaha hahaha ...er. Ahem.

Bob Dole's raises come from hahahahahahah hahahahahaha. Oh **** it.

You might want to exempt government employees from your theory.

bogie
05-20-2005, 06:33 PM
It's great advise and probably will work. However, I already married well, I like driving my 1994 Ford Explorer. I'd rather be home in my little house rather than hanging around work waiting for my workaholic boss to go home. Life's too short. But thanks for caring.

Skip Towne
05-20-2005, 06:38 PM
Great advice, I will file it away.
Although Rainman wasn't specific about it, you will need a job before you can utilize this advice.

Rain Man
05-20-2005, 06:40 PM
That is one of the most moronic pieces of advice I have ever heard.

Work smarter, not longer.

Maybe if you are a security guard or something like that but if your job requires intellect I'm sure that the employee that gets the job done in a reasonable time, is dedicated and loyal and "leaves before the boss" which reach higher pinnacles than the suck up who does shoddy work but stays around until the boss leaves.

I'd kick that sucker to the curb.


This is the great fallacy of the modern workforce. EVERYONE "works smarter," or at least thinks they do. "Working smarter" gets you to average. "Working smarter" is expected. "Working smarter" is the minimum. If someone isn't "working smarter," they're underachievers and they're below average.

Working smarter AND working harder sets you apart.

Rain Man
05-20-2005, 06:41 PM
Although Rainman wasn't specific about it, you will need a job before you can utilize this advice.

This will hereby be known as the Skip Towne Corollary to the Rain Man Theory of Success.

Rain Man
05-20-2005, 06:43 PM
It's great advise and probably will work. However, I already married well, I like driving my 1994 Ford Explorer. I'd rather be home in my little house rather than hanging around work waiting for my workaholic boss to go home. Life's too short. But thanks for caring.

And that's fine for you. My advice is aimed at go-getters, at people who want to excel at what they do and drive exotic cars and have homes with multi-jetted showers.

Skip Towne
05-20-2005, 06:44 PM
This will hereby be known as the Skip Towne Corollary to the Rain Man Theory of Success.
Thank you, Rainman. I offer GoChiefs helpful advice like this all the time but he thinks I'm jabbing at him and he gets all pissy.

Rain Man
05-20-2005, 06:48 PM
Thank you, Rainman. I offer GoChiefs helpful advice like this all the time but he thinks I'm jabbing at him and he gets all pissy.

I've always viewed you as the Yoda to his Luke.

bogie
05-20-2005, 06:52 PM
And that's fine for you. My advice is aimed at go-getters, at people who want to excel at what they do and drive exotic cars and have homes with multi-jetted showers.

Yep, that's definately not me. Except the multi-jetted shower.

Rain Man
05-20-2005, 06:54 PM
Yep, that's definately not me. Except the multi-jetted shower.

I'm afraid that you'll need to return the multi-jetted shower. You shouldn't have received that.

bogie
05-20-2005, 06:59 PM
I'm afraid that you'll need to return the multi-jetted shower. You shouldn't have received that.

I needed it to marry well.

Ultra Peanut
05-20-2005, 07:37 PM
I finally got smart and built a place big enough to house the business and the home.I work downstairs and live upstairs.Why do I picture a laundromat on the bottom floor and a two-room apartment upstairs?

That is one of the most moronic pieces of advice I have ever heard.

Work smarter, not longer.

Maybe if you are a security guard or something like that but if your job requires intellect I'm sure that the employee that gets the job done in a reasonable time, is dedicated and loyal and "leaves before the boss" which reach higher pinnacles than the suck up who does shoddy work but stays around until the boss leaves.

I'd kick that sucker to the curb.DO NOT. ****. WITH KEVIN.

shaneo69
05-20-2005, 07:47 PM
Bob Dole's raises hahahaha...okay...no really. Bob Dole's hahahahahahahaha hahaha ...er. Ahem.

Bob Dole's raises come from hahahahahahah hahahahahaha. Oh **** it.

You might want to exempt government employees from your theory.

I think he already added that disclaimer.

stumppy
05-20-2005, 07:53 PM
I have to agree whole heartidly (sp?) with rainman. The last thing I would have thought about doing was leaving when my boss was still working on something. Putting in the extra time and trying to make your boss's job easier will get you further than any other single thing you can do.

tommykat
05-20-2005, 08:08 PM
I have to agree whole heartidly (sp?) with rainman. The last thing I would have thought about doing was leaving when my boss was still working on something. Putting in the extra time and trying to make your boss's job easier will get you further than any other single thing you can do.

True I knew that........but Faulk I hate the brown nose......whewwwwwww ;)

Rain Man
05-20-2005, 08:26 PM
True I knew that........but Faulk I hate the brown nose......whewwwwwww ;)

No brown nose. Helpful. Hardworking. Nose to grindstone. If the nose brown because the grindstone is brown, that's not a bad thing.

cdcox
05-20-2005, 08:27 PM
We go getters work smarter so we can hang out on the internet for hours at a time. But in order to keep up with our coworkers who work smarter but don't hang out on the internet, we have to work till our boss leaves.

stumppy
05-20-2005, 08:28 PM
True I knew that........but Faulk I hate the brown nose......whewwwwwww ;)


I never considered that anything at all like brown nosing.

It all boils down to what kind of work ethic you have.

tommykat
05-20-2005, 08:31 PM
I never considered that anything at all like brown nosing.

It all boils down to what kind of work ethic you have.

OK I agree, but it is both you have to agree.

Skip Towne
05-20-2005, 08:33 PM
I never considered that anything at all like brown nosing.

It all boils down to what kind of work ethic you have.
Check your email, Stumppy.

Dave Lane
05-20-2005, 08:56 PM
What if you are the boss? Do you have to stay later than yourself?

Dave

Nzoner
05-20-2005, 09:53 PM
Why do I picture a laundromat on the bottom floor and a two-room apartment upstairs?

My Beautiful Laundrette? :shake:

Thank god you're way off on this one.

KC Jones
05-20-2005, 10:23 PM
So, the key to financial success and a balanced lifestyle is to find a boss that goes home early? :D

I think there's a seed of truth to this advice, but staying as late as your boss is just one of many ways to show that you can be counted on to rise to the occasion and make sure whatever needs doing will get done.

Logical
05-20-2005, 10:26 PM
This is the great fallacy of the modern workforce. EVERYONE "works smarter," or at least thinks they do. "Working smarter" gets you to average. "Working smarter" is expected. "Working smarter" is the minimum. If someone isn't "working smarter," they're underachievers and they're below average.

Working smarter AND working harder sets you apart.

Yup

StcChief
05-20-2005, 10:41 PM
Their is a point to that don't go home before the boss.
If your trying to have 'face time' at work.

I prefer, Dazzle the boss with ways to enhance his biz that will show him how to improve what he/they do to make money.

Sometime that involve being there sometimes I do it on my time.

trndobrd
05-20-2005, 10:56 PM
Good advice RainMan, but a couple caveats:

1. If you are working after hours it should be to get ahead on your workload, not because you are so far behind that you have to work late to catch up.

2. If you are in the office late, be working, not checking out internet porn.

3. Don't always stay just because the boss is there. Stay balanced, don't miss family stuff just to cheese the boss.

4. Make sure the boss isn't staying late just to keep up with your work habits. That is, don't get into a silent "staying late" match with the boss. My preference is to stay late after the worker bees have left because it's quiet and I can get some work done (see #2) so anyone staying too late is jamming me up. Know your boss's preferences.