How Do I Get Out of Jury Duty

[Dayze]

Just got a notice today I'm required to serve Jury duty on July 5th.
Couple of Problems:

1. My job is jam packed right now; I'm responsible to locating cell towers to collocate our equipment (antennas, coax, radio equipment) for the company I work for. We're up against huge internal goals; I'm on conference calls with guys in the field several times each day.......Working 10-11 hour days consitently...
I can not even take a day off for personal time at this point due to the pace we're going. Averaging around 90 + emails per day....it's insane right now. I can't even fathom being absent for god knows how long.

2. I don't really give a turd about hearing a case, etc.



Anyone ever encountered a similar dilema ? Thoughts...suggestions?

[Baby Lee]

No get out free tickets anymore, except doctors and pharmicists. I had Jury duty in April, and we had 4 attorneys, a bailiff for the judge who was hearing the case, three city cops, and the personal secretary for the county prosecuting attorney. All of us had to stay until the selection process was completed.
Depending on your conscience, you can plead the inability to be fair, or some kind of racist or sexist ideation, or trump up some tragedy in your life relevant to the case at hand, and it'll lessen your chances of being selected. But again, you'll have to stick around until selection is completed at the least.
Of course, you could just sit around for the day, and your number won't come up for a pool.

[Branden Albert's Huge Balls]

Man I didn't get jury duty notices until I left my old town. I'm really pissed, I've always wanted to be part of a jury.

[Skip Towne]

Just got a notice today I'm required to serve Jury duty on July 5th.
Couple of Problems:

1. My job is jam packed right now; I'm responsible to locating cell towers to collocate our equipment (antennas, coax, radio equipment) for the company I work for. We're up against huge internal goals; I'm on conference calls with guys in the field several times each day.......Working 10-11 hour days consitently...
I can not even take a day off for personal time at this point due to the pace we're going. Averaging around 90 + emails per day....it's insane right now. I can't even fathom being absent for god knows how long.

2. I don't really give a turd about hearing a case, etc.



Anyone ever encountered a similar dilema ? Thoughts...suggestions?
Yeah, during voir dire tell them you really want on the jury and you can save them a lot of time. Tell them you can spot a criminal a mile away.

[jspchief]

It may not be the most PC way to go about it, but try calling them and saying you'll do it as long as there are no n*ggers, gooks, or spics on the jury with you.

I'd say as soon as they discover you're a racist dick, they'll excuse you.

[Rain Man]

Move to Iran and embrace a social system where religious panels judge defendents on the Koran without input from their peers.

Otherwise, there are lots of ways to lie, but that's not right. If you're in a small business, you can usually defer service by claiming hardship, and then you do your service later.

[Phobia]

Move to Kansas.

Regards,

Tim Grunhard

[plbrdude]

Gee I just called the court and told them it would create a financial hardship.

[Earthling]

Ask your boss if the company would be willing to pay your fine for not showing up at court. If he says no way then I would definitely go to the court and not worry about it.

[Nzoner]

I got out of jury duty last year by writing a letter about a work deadline I was on.

I've also heard that if you've been the victim of a crime you have a good chance of getting out of it because you tend to be more bias.

I also know of someone who has gotten off regularly because they have a signed note from their doctor about their(so-called)weak bladder.

Hope one of these helps.

[Donger]

It may not be the most PC way to go about it, but try calling them and saying you'll do it as long as there are no n*ggers, gooks, or spics on the jury with you.

I'd say as soon as they discover you're a racist dick, they'll excuse you.

Or, say the following with great conviction: "Hell yes! I want to be a juror!! I can spot a guilty motherf*cker a mile away!!!!"

That is verbatim.

[Dayze]

I never thought I'd want to skip out on a civil obligation, etc...
But man; I'm just thinking of how all my hard work over the last quarter could go up in my face if I get selected.

Bummer.

[Valiant]

YOu can call ahead and ask out because you could lose your house with loss of revenue.. if that does not work, come in drunk, with a rebel flag shirt and a women are whores hat... make lots of noises while sitting there... that should get you out...

[Dayze]

Ask your boss if the company would be willing to pay your fine for not showing up at court. If he says no way then I would definitely go to the court and not worry about it.


That certainly sounds like an idea.
Any idea how much the fine would be?

[Brock]

Just don't go.

[jspchief]

Or, say the following with great conviction: "Hell yes! I want to be a juror!! I can spot a guilty motherf*cker a mile away!!!!"

That is verbatim.That's probably just as effective as my suggestion, and a bit more subtle/less offensive.

[Inspector]

Ah heck, don't worry about it.

You don't even need to call or show up. They really don't care.










....or, I might be wrong about that......

[Rain Man]

Kidnap a bum, give him plastic surgery so he looks like you, induce amnesia and tell him that he's really you, and send him in your place. Then when the trial is over, induce amnesia again and convince him that he hit your car and didn't have insurance, and the judge ruled that he has to be your butler.

[Dayze]

I guess I'm just hoping I don't get selected; if I do, then so be it.
Bad timing is all..... :mad:

[Skip Towne]

Or, say the following with great conviction: "Hell yes! I want to be a juror!! I can spot a guilty motherf*cker a mile away!!!!"

That is verbatim.
I beat you to it. Check post #4.

[Brock]

I guess I'm just hoping I don't get selected; if I do, then so be it.
Bad timing is all..... :mad:

Act like an intelligent person. That will keep you off of a jury for sure.

[Saggysack]

You are gonna have to miss atleast 2 days of work. Monday for sure, half of Tuesday if you are lucky. Since your profession doesn't raise a flag, like law enforcement, attorneys, public officials. Those bastards hardly ever serve on juries. The easy way of getting out of it is during jury selection sound as biased as possible. Say answers like, "the defendant must be guilty, he was arrested, wasn't he?". Or that you won't convict any prostitute or drug offender. You must be ready to adapt. usually the arrested line work more times than not. You will never get the vote to be a juror from the prosecutor or defense attorney with strongly biased answers, just won't happen.

[Saggysack]

Act like an intelligent person. That will keep you off of a jury for sure.

ROFL

So very true.

[Brando]

I got out of it by simply telling them that it would effect my job adversly. They give you one free pass. Next time they'll make you sit through it if you're picked.

[Baby Lee]

Kidnap a bum, give him plastic surgery so he looks like you, induce amnesia and tell him that he's really you, and send him in your place. Then when the trial is over, induce amnesia again and convince him that he hit your car and didn't have insurance, and the judge ruled that he has to be your butler.
That plan CANNOT fail. BRILLIANT!!!

[Dayze]

Rain Main....you magnificent bastard!

[Dayze]

any idea on how long the selection process takes?

[tk13]

I mean we have lawyers on this board. What do lawyers actually think when they hear people say this lame biased stuff to get off? You'd think they'd be able to see through that. I'm sure they couldn't do anything about it, but you'd think they'd see that you were faking it.

[chief52]

I got out of it by simply telling them that it would effect my job adversly. They give you one free pass. Next time they'll make you sit through it if you're picked.

I agree with this method. I know it works in CA. It is a really busy time for me right now. I could go back in the pool in....6 mo, 1yr, whatever. They do not have a problem with that I do not think.

[patteeu]

If you shoot the judge you automatically get out of jury duty and get to move onto the main stage.

[frazod]

I've never been called, but I would imagine my legal background would probably get me kicked off pretty quick.

And if that didn't work, I'd just start sharing my rather interesting views on how I'd run the judicial system if it was up to me. :grr:

[Skip Towne]

I've never been called, but I would imagine my legal background would probably get me kicked off pretty quick.

And if that didn't work, I'd just start sharing my rather interesting views on how I'd run the judicial system if it was up to me. :grr:
Do you mean your "Ask the defendant two questions then put a bullet in his head" philosophy?

[Otter]

How Do I Get Out of Jury Duty

Crush up some M&Ms, stick them between your toes and when they start questioning you on your views on the case in question take off your socks and shoes and start eating.

[frazod]

Do you mean your "Ask the defendant two questions then put a bullet in his head" philosophy?

The sheriff in Silverado said it best: "You're going to get a fair trial - followed by a first-class hanging."

:evil:

[OgTheCaveman]

http://www.amnh.org/exhibitions/atapuerca/africa/images/19_erectus_mat_lg.jpg

http://library.thinkquest.org/26070/media/eng/231.gif

[yeti]

Don't register to vote. Then you are home free.

[SoCalBronco]

When they ask you questions regarding whether you can be impartial given x, y, z issues say NO. If they ask you to explain invent an incident where you had a bad experience on that issue. Similarly if they ask you has anyone ever had a bad experience with an X, say YES. The entire voir dire process is about each side rooting out those they think are predisposed towards the other side. In addition if they ask you, what is your profession, provide your profession but ADD i am going to law school at night.

[frazod]

When they ask you questions regarding whether you can be impartial given x, y, z issues say NO. If they ask you to explain invent an incident where you had a bad experience on that issue. Similarly if they ask you has anyone ever had a bad experience with an X, say YES. The entire voir dire process is about each side rooting out those they think are predisposed towards the other side. In addition if they ask you, what is your profession, provide your profession but ADD i am going to law school at night.

You might not want to be quite that obvious.... :hmmm:

[Bwana]

Explain when they start questioning you that "they don't go dragging people that aren't guilty into court." "Why would this clown be on trial if he weren't guilty?" :)

[Earthling]

any idea on how long the selection process takes?
Mine took only one day for jury selection but it was not a high profile case. They sometimes do indeed fine persons who don't show up but I don't think they would throw you in jail or anything like that, although I suppose it actually is contempt of court.

Not sure what the fine is for that either. Lots of help, huh?

[NJ Chief Fan]

Don't register to vote. Then you are home free.
thats what i heard...till one day i got my notice but i didnt have to go cause i didnt live in that county any more :)

[trndobrd]

Personally, I think your should just suck it up and perform your civic duty like an American. Your country is only asking a few days of your time to sit in an airconditioned courtroom. They will even give you free coffee and cookies in the jury room.


However, the fastest I ever got someone booted off a jury panel was when I asked if anyone knew my witnesses which included a police detective (I was a brand new prosecutor, 2nd jury trial) and a gal stood up in the back row and exclaimed "I know Detective Smith! He got up on that witness stand right over there and told a pack of lies that got my cousin convicted. He's a liar!"

Needless to say, she was off the panel.

[alanm]

Just go in, sit down and stare up at the ceiling and start drooling all over yourself. It won't be long before they dismiss you. :) Otherwise just do your duty. Your employer has to give you the time off.

[Simplex3]

It's simple. The first question they ask reply with:

"You know, we were discussing that very think at my Klan meeting last week and Bubba thought...."

[Rausch]

In the grand scheme of things justice isn't really that important anyway...

[luv]

I haven't been called for jury duty (knocks on wood), but I know that our Human Resources dept has written letters for people saying that we could not afford for them to miss work. I also knew a guy who just proved that he was the only source of income for his family of five, and that he could not miss work. If all else fails, just go in and be biased and opinionated. You'll be out of there in no time.

[Simplex3]

In the grand scheme of things justice isn't really that important anyway...
Here's an idea:

Let the defendant pay out of pocket to cover the salaries of the jurors. Then you could get a better class of citizen sitting in the box.

[Rausch]

Here's an idea:

Let the defendant pay out of pocket to cover the salaries of the jurors. Then you could get a better class of citizen sitting in the box.

Horrible idea.

How about we quit giving welfare, aid, and free college to people who aren't US citizens and fix about 1/2 this nation's problems?...

[Simplex3]

Horrible idea.

How about we quit giving welfare, aid, and free college to people who aren't US citizens and fix about 1/2 this nation's problems?...
I'm all for it.

[OldTownChief]

Just tell the judge that you sucked the defendant off, you're off the jury.

[Rausch]

I'm all for it.

Solid.

I've got positions for you and "Onry" Ross all planned out...

[DeepSouth]

Go to a public bulletin board where judges go to read about Chiefs information. Ask all BB members how you can get out of jury duty. At least one of the judges will get the internet police to track your ass down and then wait for your lame excuse to get out of jury duty.

it could happen................

[Lzen]

I never thought I'd want to skip out on a civil obligation, etc...
But man; I'm just thinking of how all my hard work over the last quarter could go up in my face if I get selected.

Bummer.

I agree. I had this come up for the first time a couple years ago. It was in the Spring right at the time when we go out on the road for a couple weeks at a time. This lasts pretty much from March through May. I ended up going that time since it didn't interfere with my scheduled weeks out.

This year, however, was not so easy. First time I was scheduled to go out on the road this year about the middle of March and I just happened to get a jury notice for that same week. :rolleyes: So, I sent the thing in explaining that and asked for a postponement. Didn't hear back from them until it got real close to the week I had to go out. They granted my request.

So guess what happens next. I was scheduled to go out again about 3 weeks later and they just so happened to schedule me on that date, too. :banghead: Needless to say, I managed to switch weeks with someone else. Albeit, it was a pain in the ass. The stupid thing about it was that I didn't end up serving this year. I called the first 3 days and they never needed me. All the cases got settled right before my group's number came up. :shake:

[Lzen]

Horrible idea.

How about we quit giving welfare, aid, and free college to people who aren't US citizens and fix about 1/2 this nation's problems?...

Brad for President!! :thumb:

[Dr. Facebook Fever]

Just got a notice today I'm required to serve Jury duty on July 5th. I don't really give a turd about hearing a case, etc.



Thoughts...suggestions?
If you go into the courtroom foaming at the mouth screaming "fry the bastards...fry 'em all!" I'm sure the defense attourney will walk you to the door.

[Rain Man]

Personally, I think your should just suck it up and perform your civic duty like an American. Your country is only asking a few days of your time to sit in an airconditioned courtroom. They will even give you free coffee and cookies in the jury room.





Sure, that's easy for you to say, sitting over there in Iraq with a built-in excuse to get out of jury duty.

[Braincase]

Tell 'em one of your aliases is "Ward Chuchill".

[ct]

Tell them that Jacko is Quacko, and should have been convicted and publicly castrated.

[chagrin]

it's been said many ways already:

When the defense attorney asks you if you can objectively make a decision, respond, "no"

When the defense attorney asks you if you velieve that a person is guilty because they have been accused of a crime, respond, "yes"

Simple...I don't know about where you live, but when I had jury duty, we were all in a room waiting for our names to be called. I got called ****ing twice, but there were some who didn't get called at all. You might not get called if this is the case there.

[Lzen]

Tell them that Jacko is Quacko, and should have been convicted and publicly castrated.

That wouldn't work. They'd just think he's an average person.