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Dr. Facebook Fever
06-15-2005, 08:13 AM
just the punchlines please...

this is the anti Psicosis "best joke ever that takes four days to read thread..."

I'll start...



"...and then the plumber said, plunger... I hardly know her..."

seclark
06-15-2005, 08:20 AM
rectum...damn near killed 'em!

milkman
06-15-2005, 08:20 AM
The man turned to his wife and said "I was talking to the sheep".

cookster50
06-15-2005, 08:22 AM
My name is Rich Scanlon.

HemiEd
06-15-2005, 08:24 AM
"how do it know?"

cookster50
06-15-2005, 08:26 AM
Yo Mamma

Fried Meat Ball!
06-15-2005, 08:27 AM
F*** YOU, CLOWN!

JimNasium
06-15-2005, 08:45 AM
"That would be a dick in your mouth."

siberian khatru
06-15-2005, 08:48 AM
"I thought I told you yesterday to get the f*ck out of here."

wildcat09
06-15-2005, 08:48 AM
do you think i wished for a 12 inch pianist?

MOhillbilly
06-15-2005, 08:49 AM
two dogs fV(cking

siberian khatru
06-15-2005, 08:49 AM
"I said 'posse'!"

cookster50
06-15-2005, 08:52 AM
Big fart, no Chief.

Saulbadguy
06-15-2005, 08:55 AM
Cut the rope.

Baby Lee
06-15-2005, 08:55 AM
33 years old, and you still believe in Leprechauns?

Baby Lee
06-15-2005, 08:57 AM
"Looks like you blew a seal"
"No, no, no!!! It's ice cream!!"

chagrin
06-15-2005, 08:57 AM
Get Kinky? Lady, I already ****ed your dog and shit in your purse, I'm outta here!

Baby Lee
06-15-2005, 08:59 AM
"The Aristocrats!!"

chagrin
06-15-2005, 09:00 AM
"Well if this thing don't stop shoving biscuits up my ass I'm gonna cut it off!"

Otter
06-15-2005, 09:02 AM
"I know, it started off as a pimple on my ass"

wildcat09
06-15-2005, 09:10 AM
we have plenty of them where i come from

wildcat09
06-15-2005, 09:11 AM
they would never find a hiesman trophy winner in Columbia

Dartgod
06-15-2005, 09:20 AM
Pay him for the pizza.

wildcat09
06-15-2005, 09:27 AM
grease the door ways

The Pedestrian
06-15-2005, 09:31 AM
Then the Pope says, "I said 'Hand me the booies'"

Infidel Goat
06-15-2005, 09:31 AM
"Silly Rabbi, kicks are for Trids."

--Infidel Goat

Dartgod
06-15-2005, 09:34 AM
"You're gonna eat me just like the story says!"

Infidel Goat
06-15-2005, 09:34 AM
"That's the beer that made Mel Famey walks us."

--Infidel Goat

Infidel Goat
06-15-2005, 09:35 AM
"You can't have your kayak and heat it too."

--Infidel Goat

Infidel Goat
06-15-2005, 09:35 AM
"People are dying to get in there."

Thanks, I'm here all week.

--Infidel Goat

Fried Meat Ball!
06-15-2005, 09:37 AM
"Take smaller licks!"

Fried Meat Ball!
06-15-2005, 09:37 AM
"It's a knick knack, Patty Black, give the frog a loan."

The Pedestrian
06-15-2005, 09:58 AM
"Hillary Clinton."

chagrin
06-15-2005, 10:02 AM
and the priest said god Damnit son, don't you ever quit?!

The Pedestrian
06-15-2005, 10:08 AM
And Skip said, "Is this going to turn into another 'Word Association Thread'?"
So beer me said, "Yep."

That's funny-I'm funny.

chagrin
06-15-2005, 10:10 AM
So President Truman says, "at least we still have the Panama canal."

The Pedestrian
06-15-2005, 10:13 AM
So the strip club customer yells out, "That's the one place you want 'em to have hair."

cadmonkey
06-15-2005, 10:26 AM
My mom is dead, my sister is pregnant, my ass is killing me, and my dad is in the corner saying "here kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty!"

cadmonkey
06-15-2005, 10:29 AM
you would be drinking fast too if all you had was 50 cents in your pocket!!!!!!

Ari Chi3fs
06-15-2005, 10:38 AM
Better Nate than Lever.

Dave Lane
06-15-2005, 11:16 AM
"...and there are the cow and the pig."

Dave

gblowfish
06-15-2005, 11:22 AM
Joke #1: "Well just don't stand there, read the card!"

Joke #2: "So the third hillbilly says "I Wish It Were Dark!"

Joke #3: "So her father stands up and says, "Allright, I'll DO the Goddamn dishes!!"

C-Mac
06-15-2005, 11:23 AM
"your sitting on the mop bucket you idiot"

chagrin
06-15-2005, 11:25 AM
[QUOTE=gblowfish]Joke #1: "Well just don't stand there, read the card!"



If that's the one I am thinking of, HAHAHAHAHA!! My dad's a Dr. and told me that...killin me!! ROFL

JohninGpt
06-15-2005, 11:25 AM
Yeah, and them Fokkers were flying Messerschmidts.

The Pedestrian
06-15-2005, 11:26 AM
So he says, "I'm never gonna swim in the East River with my shoes on again."

chagrin
06-15-2005, 11:27 AM
"he became a super calloused fragile mystic with chronic halitosis"

"Suprise suprise suprise, that ain't my finger neither!"

Jenson71
06-15-2005, 11:27 AM
Got any gwapes?

The Pedestrian
06-15-2005, 11:36 AM
"I don't have 'Betty Crocker' written on my forehead, do I?!"

Dartgod
06-15-2005, 11:53 AM
You left your injun running.

cadmonkey
06-15-2005, 12:16 PM
so be it, death........BY BUNGA BUNGA!!!!!!!

The Pedestrian
06-15-2005, 12:29 PM
So the redhead starts jumping again and yells, "52! 52! 52!"

chagrin
06-15-2005, 12:45 PM
The rich Indians' tires read "Firestone Firestone" and the poor Indians tires read "No Hunting No Hunting"

keg in kc
06-15-2005, 12:46 PM
And then Scanlon said "I tried folding it in half, but she said 'no, way, man, I'm still charging you double'".

Thig Lyfe
06-15-2005, 01:22 PM
"The Aristocrats!!"

Damn you!

The Pedestrian
06-15-2005, 01:46 PM
So the bartender says, "You're such an a$shole when you're drunk, Superman."

Dr. Facebook Fever
06-15-2005, 01:58 PM
It's a nick-nack Patty Whack, give the frog a loan.

Dr. Facebook Fever
06-15-2005, 01:59 PM
"It's a knick knack, Patty Black, give the frog a loan."
that would be Patty WHACK!.... and I didn't see yours until after posting mine....

Dr. Facebook Fever
06-15-2005, 02:05 PM
My mom is dead, my sister is pregnant, my ass is killing me, and my dad is in the corner saying "here kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty!"
ROFL

That one doesn't even need a joke to go with it.

MOhillbilly
06-15-2005, 02:06 PM
beer me,jspchief,gochiefs

Dr. Facebook Fever
06-15-2005, 02:21 PM
beer me,jspchief,gochiefs
about that $10 you owe me.............

MOhillbilly
06-15-2005, 02:29 PM
about that $10 you owe me.............


i would happly of paid you if you didnt come out screaming "if i win im gonna welch"

Fried Meat Ball!
06-15-2005, 02:31 PM
that would be Patty WHACK!.... and I didn't see yours until after posting mine....
No, it's Black... what kind of a last name is Whack? It plays on the words by SOUNDING like whack, but is funny because it's NOT the same. "Whack" is the word in the real song...

:shake:

Don't believe me... check these yourself...

http://www.ajokes.com/jokes/2309.html

http://www.thehumorarchives.com/humor/0000868.html

http://www.webuser.co.uk/cgi-bin/forums/showflat.pl?Cat=&Board=openforum&Number=169187&page=11&view=collapsed&sb=5&o=93&part=

siberian khatru
06-15-2005, 02:33 PM
'She's on the roof."

Dr. Facebook Fever
06-15-2005, 02:34 PM
i would happly of paid you if you didnt come out screaming "if i win im gonna welch"
Oh yea.... that. I was hoping you were a better man than I...


:D

Dr. Facebook Fever
06-15-2005, 02:36 PM
No, it's Black... what kind of a last name is Whack? It plays on the words by SOUNDING like whack, but is funny because it's NOT the same. "Whack" is the word in the real song...

:shake:

Don't believe me... check these yourself...

http://www.ajokes.com/jokes/2309.html

http://www.thehumorarchives.com/humor/0000868.html

http://www.webuser.co.uk/cgi-bin/forums/showflat.pl?Cat=&Board=openforum&Number=169187&page=11&view=collapsed&sb=5&o=93&part=
OK...the person who told me said Whack... different versions I guess...

FloridaChief
06-15-2005, 03:02 PM
"The Aristocrats!!"

F*cker! I would of thought I was the only one on this BB that knows that joke.

Anyways, I'll go w/ my 2nd choice:

"Oh no! Those martini's make my pussy hurt!"

Warrior5
06-15-2005, 03:06 PM
Then Gruden says, "They're on my Buccan-head!"

Skip Towne
06-15-2005, 03:22 PM
Arrggghhh! It's driving me nuts!

Thig Lyfe
06-15-2005, 03:54 PM
And then my penis fell off.

blueballs
07-20-2007, 12:44 AM
Michael Vick was driving the car

KCChiefsMan
07-20-2007, 12:52 AM
"Look at that S car go!"

58-4ever
07-20-2007, 02:11 AM
Oh my God, it's a talking sausage!

Bob Dole
07-20-2007, 03:41 AM
Because it's ****ing FREEZING in here.

stumppy
07-20-2007, 03:48 AM
Then the bear said " you don't really come here for the hunting do you ?".

boogblaster
07-20-2007, 08:19 AM
Just when you'd thought you'd heard them all ...

gblowfish
07-20-2007, 08:47 AM
"Peter....I Can See Your House from Here!"

Adept Havelock
07-20-2007, 08:57 AM
And that usually holds them, for about half an hour.

HolyHandgernade
07-20-2007, 09:06 AM
The bear then wiped his ass with the rabbit.

-HH

Redrum_69
07-20-2007, 09:08 AM
Would you hold my cock and pullit while I scratch my ass...

HolyHandgernade
07-20-2007, 09:09 AM
So the rancher says, "I don't know, but it tastes like peppermint."

HolyHandgernade
07-20-2007, 09:12 AM
"Hey, hey, honey, you forgot the coffee!"

-HH

Priest4Prez
07-20-2007, 09:20 AM
cut it out, you're getting mayo in my eyes

cookster50
07-20-2007, 12:03 PM
pfft

Lzen
07-20-2007, 12:08 PM
Speaking of "Better Nate than Lever", I need to try to find that joke. That was pretty damn funny. :)

Lzen
07-20-2007, 12:11 PM
... and before he could say "F**ck," the Rottweiler ate him!"

Lzen
07-20-2007, 12:15 PM
The man sighs, pauses, and answers, "My second wish was for a tall chick with long legs who agrees with everything I say."

cookster50
07-20-2007, 12:18 PM
So the sodomizer says, "Hi, my name is GoChiefs"

FAX
07-20-2007, 01:13 PM
"I'm sorry madam, that's not a miniature green bean, that's Taco John's penis."

FAX

PostalChief
07-20-2007, 03:09 PM
The young man's father asks "Son, did you jump?"

The young private answers "Well, a little at first."

SLAG
07-20-2007, 03:43 PM
The Rooster

Crush
07-20-2007, 06:12 PM
Then he said, "I'm Brock Middlebrook."

plbrdude
07-20-2007, 08:48 PM
then the guy says, " i have to pay ya. i saw it on the news at 6 too. but i sure didn't think he'd jump again."