PDA

View Full Version : I just encountered something amazing


keg in kc
06-16-2005, 04:39 PM
It all began while I was wading through the jungle and swamps of Target, swatting flies and mosquitoes as I hunted fruits and vegetables and frozen eggrolls. Once I'd proven myself master of the scarlet and ivory pampas, I slipped quietly through the aisles of candy and bananas and day-old doughnuts until I found a checkout isle that seemed welcoming. Now safe (or so I thought) I stepped into this line, relaxing, oblivious to the danger that stalked just feet away. With a flash, my life literally passed in front of my eyes as out of the very ether appeared a creature of myth and legend, a haunting form that I'd thought long extinct. I saw that rarest of rares... an attractive woman. I quieted my breathing and stood as still as possible so as to not frighten this beautiful specimen, knowing that even the tiniest amount of motion could cause this majestic beast to flee in terror. My heart raced, my knuckles whitened on the cart handle, sweat began to bead upon my brow. And then, like the avatar of fate itself, the tiniest drop lept towards the floor, far below. Seconds ticked by like hours as down and down and down it fell. Finally, like the tolling of a bell, it shattered on the waxy white glow of the store's floor.

Ahh, alas, at that moment, the poor creature looked up in terror and bolted for the exit, and safety. But now I know, I know in my heart that she does in fact still exist, this rare creature that had once seemed so abundant a mere decade ago, when I was in college. My faith in humanity is restored.

Donger
06-16-2005, 04:41 PM
It all began while I was wading through the jungle and swamps of Target, swatting flies and mosquitoes as I hunted fruits and vegetables and frozen eggrolls. Once I'd proven myself master of the scarlet and ivory pampas, I slipped quietly through the aisles of candy and bananas and day-old doughnuts until I found a checkout isle that seemed welcoming. Now safe (or so I thought) I stepped into this line, relaxing, oblivious to the danger that stalked just feet away. With a flash, my life literally passed in front of my eyes as out of the very ether appeared a creature of myth and legend, a haunting form that I'd thought long extinct. I saw that rarest of rares... an attractive woman. I quieted my breathing and stood as still as possible so as to not frighten this beautiful specimen, knowing that even the tiniest amount of motion could cause this majestic beast to flee in terror. My heart raced, my knuckles whitened on the cart handle, sweat began to bead upon my brow. And then, like the avatar of fate itself, the tiniest drop lept towards the floor, far below. Seconds ticked by like hours as down and down and down it fell. Finally, like the tolling of a bell, it shattered on the waxy white glow of the store's floor.

Ahh, alas, at that moment, the poor creature looked up in terror and bolted for the exit, and safety. But now I know, I know in my heart that she does in fact still exist, this rare creature that had once seemed so abundant a mere decade ago, when I was in college. My faith in humanity is restored.

I'd recommend Depends. Nothing's less attractive to a broad than a lack of bladder control with no diaper.

tyton75
06-16-2005, 04:43 PM
puzzy.. you should have hit it like this

seclark
06-16-2005, 04:44 PM
maybe it was the heavy breathing that scared her off. even so, i give this a b+ mainly because he's got the stones to admit he went to target.
sec

keg in kc
06-16-2005, 04:46 PM
maybe it was the heavy breathing that scared her off. even so, i give this a b+ mainly because he's got the stones to admit he went to target.
secNo bravery there. I needed a change of pace from Hy-Vee and I won't set foot in Wal-Mart.

'twas no heavy breathing, either. Nor uncontrolled bladder explosions.

Sam
06-16-2005, 04:48 PM
pics?

foxman
06-16-2005, 04:51 PM
She smelled fear, well that and that pant load you expelled.

keg in kc
06-16-2005, 04:51 PM
pics?Oh, silly me, I forgot to pack my camera for my Target adventure.

Biohazard
06-16-2005, 05:12 PM
I really like this pic, Thanks Psi.

Biohazard
06-16-2005, 05:15 PM
By the way nice story. A for effort and a special door prize!

Pitt Gorilla
06-16-2005, 05:17 PM
No bravery there. I needed a change of pace from Hy-Vee and I won't set foot in Wal-Mart.

'twas no heavy breathing, either. Nor uncontrolled bladder explosions.
Wow, that's exactly why I go to Target. Seriously.

jiveturkey
06-16-2005, 05:22 PM
What Target do you go to?

I can't go anywhere without seeing a pack of hot babes here in Lenexa.

keg in kc
06-16-2005, 05:27 PM
What Target do you go to?The one on 119th and Blue Valley Parkway.I can't go anywhere without seeing a pack of hot babes here in Lenexa.I'm...finicky. I have a very specific taste in women. Asian, beautiful, perfect body. Nothing else interests me.

Which is bad considering I'm old, fat, ugly, broke and devoid of personality. Never let that stop me looking, though. This was the first time in a very long time where I didn't think anything other than "wow, she's hot".

jiveturkey
06-16-2005, 05:51 PM
The one on 119th and Blue Valley Parkway.I'm...finicky. I have a very specific taste in women. Asian, beautiful, perfect body. Nothing else interests me.

Which is bad considering I'm old, fat, ugly, broke and devoid of personality. Never let that stop me looking, though. This was the first time in a very long time where I didn't think anything other than "wow, she's hot".

You're rollin' in a nice neighborhood for a slacker. :p

It's to bad that you don't like blonde milfs.

Jenson71
06-16-2005, 06:07 PM
What kind of frozen eggrolls?

KCChiefsMan
06-16-2005, 06:11 PM
maybe it was the heavy breathing that scared her off. even so, i give this a b+ mainly because he's got the stones to admit he went to target.
sec


the stones to admit he went to Target? am I missing something here? it's either that or wal-mart, and Wal-mart is........hell

keg in kc
06-16-2005, 06:59 PM
It's to bad that you don't like blonde milfs.Hey, consider it a gift, I'm just leaving more for the rest of you.
What kind of frozen eggrolls?Chung's (http://www.chungsfoods.com/productinfo.asp?id=88)

They were on sale. Thought I'd try something new.

chagrin
06-16-2005, 07:03 PM
I really like this pic, Thanks Psi.


ROFL

chop
06-16-2005, 07:48 PM
That deprogramming stuff must work.

Jenson71
06-16-2005, 07:53 PM
Hey, consider it a gift, I'm just leaving more for the rest of you.
Chung's (http://www.chungsfoods.com/productinfo.asp?id=88)

They were on sale. Thought I'd try something new.

Tell me what you think of them. Eggrolls sound really good, and they didn't have this kind at HyVee.

Ultra Peanut
06-16-2005, 07:53 PM
DEAR ABC STOP
THIS IS AL MICHAELS STOP