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View Full Version : Church makes me horny


siberian khatru
06-19-2005, 06:26 PM
Man, some of these young girls (and I can't tell their ages anymore ... probably anywhere from 16 to 21) at church are really dressing HOT -- short skirts, tight, spaghetti strap tank tops, high-heel sandals. Hubba, hubba. How can I concentrate on praying and worshiping God while watching these SHE-VIXENS and MINXES tempt me with their sins of the flesh? I spend all my time asking for forgiveness for lusting in my heart for these Britney-wannabes.

It's the DEBBIL'S work, I tell you! THE DEBBIL!

Anyone else have smoking-hot jail bait at their House of Worship?

I'm going to hell, I know it ... :fire:

Demonpenz
06-19-2005, 06:29 PM
i am sure the priest feels the same way about the boys

Mr. Laz
06-19-2005, 06:29 PM
it makes all the preachers horny too....




all those tight fitting altar boy robes

Phobia
06-19-2005, 06:32 PM
Heh. Yeah. Plus my church draws about 5k on Sunday so theres that many more.

tk13
06-19-2005, 06:33 PM
How can I concentrate on praying and worshiping God while watching these SHE-VIXENS and MINXES tempt me with their sins of the flesh?

Next Sunday try to go "worship" somewhere other than Hooters.

Zebedee DuBois
06-19-2005, 06:35 PM
We had an associate pastor who was a knock out blonde. The kids called her Rev. Barbie, and she almost looked like a Barbie doll come to life. Statuesque. High cheek bones. Always wore spiked heels.


You know, I can't remember anything she said.

RedThat
06-19-2005, 06:37 PM
We had an associate pastor who was a knock out blonde. The kids called her Rev. Barbie, and she almost looked like a Barbie doll come to life. Statuesque. High cheek bones. Always wore spiked heels.


You know, I can't remember anything she said.

ROFL

Skip Towne
06-19-2005, 06:37 PM
Pastor will be along later to address us on this subject.

Jenson71
06-19-2005, 06:38 PM
Our priest came back from alcohol rehabilitation today.

chiefs4me
06-19-2005, 08:42 PM
freaking dirty old men....

JimNasium
06-19-2005, 08:44 PM
freaking dirty old men....
What are you wearing?

Logical
06-19-2005, 08:45 PM
Heh. Yeah. Plus my church draws about 5k on Sunday so theres that many more.You serious 5K? That is one huge ass church.

C-Mac
06-19-2005, 08:53 PM
You serious 5K? That is one huge ass church.

Oh....I thought you were talking money.

chiefs4me
06-19-2005, 08:53 PM
What are you wearing?


:eek:

Phobia
06-19-2005, 08:56 PM
You serious 5K? That is one huge ass church.

I don't know any actual numbers. That's my guesstimate between both services on Sunday morning. The kids in my eldest daughter's youth class number larger than any cumulative count for a church I've attended in the past. Pretty cool place, actually. They just put on a $15 Million addition.

www.firstbaptistraytown.com

Logical
06-19-2005, 09:08 PM
Our priest came back from alcohol rehabilitation today.He should have went with Pot.:D

Pants
06-19-2005, 09:14 PM
He should have went with Pot.:D

Bad combination. A Catholic Priest with the munchies is bound to eat all the communion wafers in one sitting.

gblowfish
06-19-2005, 09:23 PM
I've been bad!! Spank me spank me!!

Michael Michigan
06-19-2005, 09:24 PM
Man, some of these young girls (and I can't tell their ages anymore ... probably anywhere from 16 to 21) at church are really dressing HOT -- short skirts, tight, spaghetti strap tank tops, high-heel sandals. Hubba, hubba. How can I concentrate on praying and worshiping God while watching these SHE-VIXENS and MINXES tempt me with their sins of the flesh? I spend all my time asking for forgiveness for lusting in my heart for these Britney-wannabes.

It's the DEBBIL'S work, I tell you! THE DEBBIL!

Anyone else have smoking-hot jail bait at their House of Worship?

I'm going to hell, I know it ... :fire:

In my best Tommy Boy voice...

Sinner

Logical
06-19-2005, 09:47 PM
Bad combination. A Catholic Priest with the munchies is bound to eat all the communion wafers in one sitting.ROFLROFL

Logical
06-19-2005, 09:50 PM
I don't know any actual numbers. That's my guesstimate between both services on Sunday morning. The kids in my eldest daughter's youth class number larger than any cumulative count for a church I've attended in the past. Pretty cool place, actually. They just put on a $15 Million addition.

www.firstbaptistraytown.com (http://www.firstbaptistraytown.com )
While still a huge Church I have seen Churches that big that would hold 2500 in one sitting. Never seen a Church that would hold 5K in one sitting but imagine The Mormon Tabernacle and the Vatican might.

Skip Towne
06-19-2005, 10:16 PM
Where is the pastor? I really need to get his take on this. Does he have this problem(?) and does it distract him having to look at the hotties.

Mile High Mania
06-19-2005, 10:18 PM
While still a huge Church I have seen Churches that big that would hold 2500 in one sitting. Never seen a Church that would hold 5K in one sitting but imagine The Mormon Tabernacle and the Vatican might.

I'm not sure of the seating capacity, but if you count the 3 weekend services... I believe the one we go to has between 13,000-15,000 on Saturday/Sunday. I believe the main auditorium could easily hold 8-9,000 in a service.

http://www.prestonwood.org

The place is huge... there are a number of mega churches in the DFW area.

yeti
06-19-2005, 10:19 PM
While still a huge Church I have seen Churches that big that would hold 2500 in one sitting. Never seen a Church that would hold 5K in one sitting but imagine The Mormon Tabernacle and the Vatican might.

That is quite a number. There are some really huge churches out there though.

Skip Towne
06-19-2005, 10:24 PM
I can't imagine a church that could seat 5000 people. I wonder where I could find info on the largest churches in Ks and Mo.

Pants
06-19-2005, 10:26 PM
I can't imagine a church that could seat 5000 people. I wonder where I could find info on the largest churches in Ks and Mo.

It's probably a gaudy POS.

ZepSinger
06-19-2005, 10:38 PM
I can't imagine a church that could seat 5000 people. I wonder where I could find info on the largest churches in Ks and Mo.

Mine does almost 4,000 per Sunday, spread out over 8 services... oh yeah, it's in Shawnee, KS....

Westside Family Church (http://www.westsidefamilychurch.com)

Skip, come see me play there on July 3rd!

Z

beavis
06-19-2005, 10:49 PM
Well, doesn't that just make our naughty parts tingle.

Phobia
06-19-2005, 10:50 PM
Thanks Khatru - now you got me in trouble with the wife and she thinks you're a sick perv. NTTAWWT. She married one.

theultimatekcchiefsfan
06-19-2005, 11:06 PM
I dont go to church, but I will tell you this. Make a trip out to Wal-Mart on a Saturday afternoon. It is better than a strip club. And yes some of these girls are YOUNG, but they dont dress like it. That place is wall to wall women in skimpy skimpy clothing.

Ps. The female employee with the best looking asses work at Target. Something about those tan pants they wear. I swear Target makes them wear them for just this purpose. They are sweet!!

WilliamTheIrish
06-19-2005, 11:13 PM
I dont go to church, but I will tell you this. Make a trip out to Wal-Mart on a Saturday afternoon. It is better than a strip club. And yes some of these girls are YOUNG, but they dont dress like it. That place is wall to wall women in skimpy skimpy clothing.

Ps. The female employee with the best looking asses work at Target. Something about those tan pants they wear. I swear Target makes them wear them for just this purpose. They are sweet!!

Wal-mart? Are you serious?

It seems like every time I'm in there I realize that Wal-mart must be importing Chinese cellulite, along with everything else, and feeding it secretly to the customers and employees.

Coach
06-19-2005, 11:17 PM
Heh

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v39/SwedeCarlson/Funnies/ThePope.jpg

Count Zarth
06-19-2005, 11:22 PM
Heh

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v39/SwedeCarlson/Funnies/ThePope.jpg

Hahahahaha.

SNR
06-20-2005, 12:51 AM
I don't know any actual numbers. That's my guesstimate between both services on Sunday morning. The kids in my eldest daughter's youth class number larger than any cumulative count for a church I've attended in the past. Pretty cool place, actually. They just put on a $15 Million addition.

www.firstbaptistraytown.comI have found NO information whatsoever on that church's organ.

I assume this big mother has one, right?

Mr Grimm
06-20-2005, 04:10 AM
LMFAO!!
thanks coach...i just spit hashbrowns all over the new computer. Sheriffs gonna be pissed!!

walmart is best after 12:00am, all the hotties go there after midnight, dont ask me why, but its some kinda of rule.

churches arent that bad......after you spend 12 years in a catholic school, spending most of your time resembling papa smurf!

ExtremeChief
06-20-2005, 05:47 AM
Charlotte Church isn't bad... but I've seen better.

http://www.saviodsilva.net/z1/1/church/5.jpg

JimNasium
06-20-2005, 06:23 AM
I have found NO information whatsoever on that church's organ.

I assume this big mother has one, right?

****WARNING****JUNIOR HIGH HUMOR****

You shouldn't be playing with your organ during church.

Phobia
06-20-2005, 07:11 AM
I have found NO information whatsoever on that church's organ.

I assume this big mother has one, right?

Yeah - they have an organ. I don't think it's a huge one like you're thinking though. They do have a 75ish piece orchestra.

Saggysack
06-20-2005, 07:34 AM
You serious 5K? That is one huge ass church.

That isn't a church. That's a medium sized city... in Kansas.

Skip Towne
06-20-2005, 07:53 AM
This thread is worthless without pics.

patteeu
06-20-2005, 07:54 AM
Man, some of these young girls (and I can't tell their ages anymore ... probably anywhere from 16 to 21) at church are really dressing HOT -- short skirts, tight, spaghetti strap tank tops, high-heel sandals. Hubba, hubba. How can I concentrate on praying and worshiping God while watching these SHE-VIXENS and MINXES tempt me with their sins of the flesh? I spend all my time asking for forgiveness for lusting in my heart for these Britney-wannabes.

It's the DEBBIL'S work, I tell you! THE DEBBIL!

Anyone else have smoking-hot jail bait at their House of Worship?

I'm going to hell, I know it ... :fire:

I didn't realize that this was frowned upon. That's how I get through every Sunday morning minus the asking for forgiveness part.

ROYC75
06-20-2005, 11:44 AM
Been there, done that.......it's not right, I tell ya, it's not right. :shake:

Damn devil......... :mad:

Calcountry
06-20-2005, 12:51 PM
Man, some of these young girls (and I can't tell their ages anymore ... probably anywhere from 16 to 21) at church are really dressing HOT -- short skirts, tight, spaghetti strap tank tops, high-heel sandals. Hubba, hubba. How can I concentrate on praying and worshiping God while watching these SHE-VIXENS and MINXES tempt me with their sins of the flesh? I spend all my time asking for forgiveness for lusting in my heart for these Britney-wannabes.

It's the DEBBIL'S work, I tell you! THE DEBBIL!

Anyone else have smoking-hot jail bait at their House of Worship?

I'm going to hell, I know it ... :fire:I am paraphrasing Jesus, "If your eye causes you to sin, gouge it out, better to enter Heaven blind than to go to hell with sight."

Calcountry
06-20-2005, 12:53 PM
I can't imagine a church that could seat 5000 people. I wonder where I could find info on the largest churches in Ks and Mo.General Steel has the answer.

Call the General.

ROYC75
06-20-2005, 01:59 PM
Try having a niece who looks like this .....:eek:http://kmmod4.home.att.net/cschiffer/lingerie/original/li50.JPG

Yep, she looks just like Claudia.... at age 17 .

Rain Man
06-20-2005, 02:22 PM
I love it when they baptize the women and they're just wearing a t-shirt and no bra.

Skip Towne
06-20-2005, 02:27 PM
I love it when they baptize the women and they're just wearing a t-shirt and no bra.
Do they sell tickets to that?

RedNFeisty
06-20-2005, 02:29 PM
Man, some of these young girls (and I can't tell their ages anymore ... probably anywhere from 16 to 21) at church are really dressing HOT -- short skirts, tight, spaghetti strap tank tops, high-heel sandals. Hubba, hubba. How can I concentrate on praying and worshiping God while watching these SHE-VIXENS and MINXES tempt me with their sins of the flesh? I spend all my time asking for forgiveness for lusting in my heart for these Britney-wannabes.

It's the DEBBIL'S work, I tell you! THE DEBBIL!

Anyone else have smoking-hot jail bait at their House of Worship?

I'm going to hell, I know it ... :fire:


You sick twisted bastard! You are going to hell in a hand bag first class! ROFL

wutamess
06-20-2005, 02:29 PM
Heh. Yeah. Plus my church draws about 5k on Sunday so theres that many more.

That big church on 350 across from herndon's vocational tech shool?

Rain Man
06-20-2005, 02:33 PM
Do they sell tickets to that?


Not only is it free, but partway through they hand around these big bowls of money, and you can just take what you want.

CosmicPal
06-20-2005, 02:44 PM
I don't think I ever made it through church without first wanting to sleep.

But, I will admit- growing up in a Catholic church in OPKS- the girls were mighty sweet back then...

keg in kc
06-20-2005, 02:46 PM
Ditto on the sleep. For me, nothing has ever been as powerful a soporific as a church service. Horny...not so much.

Then again, I haven't been in a church for at least a decade.

Calcountry
06-20-2005, 04:00 PM
Not only is it free, but partway through they hand around these big bowls of money, and you can just take what you want.You mean those that have singles and quarters in em?

Calcountry
06-20-2005, 04:01 PM
Ditto on the sleep. For me, nothing has ever been as powerful a soporific as a church service. Horny...not so much.

Then again, I haven't been in a church for at least a decade.Well, the sleep may bring on the morning wood, if you know what I mean?

whoman69
06-20-2005, 04:32 PM
Church? For me it was always freshman science class.

the Talking Can
06-20-2005, 06:52 PM
Church, by which I mean a girl's locker room, always makes me horny.

Rain Man
06-20-2005, 07:01 PM
You mean those that have singles and quarters in em?

Yeah, those. In fact, the last church that I went to (a rare Christmas Eve appearance for the sake of my in-laws) made a game out of it. They would put money in envelopes, and then you could randomly pick an envelope and see how much you got.

Zebedee DuBois
06-20-2005, 07:47 PM
It's gonna be really crowded down in hell.


They should think about widening the concourses and adding restrooms.

JimNasium
06-20-2005, 07:52 PM
It's gonna be really crowded down in hell.


They should think about widening the concourses and adding restrooms.I've heard there's a chance that they are moving the Hell franchise to Los Angeles.

Logical
06-20-2005, 09:04 PM
I'm not sure of the seating capacity, but if you count the 3 weekend services... I believe the one we go to has between 13,000-15,000 on Saturday/Sunday. I believe the main auditorium could easily hold 8-9,000 in a service.

http://www.prestonwood.org

The place is huge... there are a number of mega churches in the DFW area.I am pretty sure I have seen that Church on TV. I thought it was some sort of arena where they held Church services.

Skip Towne
06-20-2005, 09:13 PM
I've seen Billy Graham fill up football stadiums.