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tk13
06-23-2005, 01:33 AM
I guess this reporter is filling in for Jeffrey Flanagan's column... I'm sure this topic has been done before on here but these lists always create some good discussion. :)

http://www.kansascity.com/mld/kansascity/sports/11961297.htm

These quotes from sports movies rubbed us the right way

By SAM MELLINGER
Kansas City Star

If you like your movies hoity and toity, then the American Film Institute’s list of the top 100 movie quotes of all time probably suited you just fine. But if you prefer “Caddyshack” to “Casablanca,” here’s one man’s list of the top 10 quotes from sports movies.

Now, if this weren’t a family newspaper, there might be a few changes. Other than clean language, the only rules here are that the quote comes from a sports movie, and no movie can be listed more than once. Otherwise, we’d be knee-deep in Carl Spackler and Billy Hoyle.

So, here goes:

10. “He didn’t slam into you, he didn’t bump you, he didn’t nudge you. He rubbed you. And rubbin’, son, is racin’.”

— Harry Hogge in “Days of Thunder”

9. “There are three rules that I live by: never get less than 12 hours sleep, never play cards with a guy who has the same first name as a city, and never get involved with a woman with a tattoo of a dagger on her body. Now, you stick to that, and everything else is cream cheese.”

— Coach Bobby Finstock in “Teen Wolf”

8. “How’s your wife and my kids?”

— Haywood in “Major League”

7. “I’ve been coming here every summer of my adult life, and every summer she is oiling and lotioning, lotioning and oiling. I can’t take it anymore!”

— Squints in “The Sandlot”

6. “During high school, I played junior hockey and still hold two league records: most time spent in the penalty box, and I was the only guy to ever take off his skate and try to stab somebody.”

— title character in “Happy Gilmore”

5. “If he had held the ball laces out like he’s supposed to, Ray would never have missed that kick. Dan Marino should die of gonorrhea and rot in hell!”

— Ray Finkle’s mother in “Ace Ventura: Pet Detective”

4. “You guys. You lollygag the ball around the infield. You lollygag your way down to first. You lollygag in and out of the dugout. You know what that makes you? Larry!”

— Skip in “Bull Durham”

3. “Strap, God wants you on the floor.”

— Norman Dale in “Hoosiers”

2. “I’ll tell you what. Why don’t we take all these bricks and build a shelter for the homeless, so maybe your mother will have a place to stay.”

— Hoyle in “White Men Can’t Jump”

1. “So we finish the 18th, and he’s gonna stiff me. And I say, ‘Hey Lama, hey, how about a little something, you know, for the effort, you know?’ And he says, ‘Oh, uh, there won’t be any money, but when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consciousness.’ So I got that going for me, which is nice.”

— Spackler, “Caddy-shack”

Pants
06-23-2005, 01:52 AM
9. “There are three rules that I live by: never get less than 12 hours sleep, never play cards with a guy who has the same first name as a city, and never get involved with a woman with a tattoo of a dagger on her body. Now, you stick to that, and everything else is cream cheese.”

I ****ing love this quote.

Also, this list sucks. No quote from Rudy?

Frazod
06-23-2005, 01:53 AM
My favorite: "Don't think. It can only hurt the ballclub." :D

Pants
06-23-2005, 01:57 AM
"THERE'S NO CRYING IN BASEBALL!"

Wallcrawler
06-23-2005, 02:30 AM
"THERE'S NO CRYING IN BASEBALL!"


That definately should have been there. Tom Hanks was funnier than hell in A league of their own.

ExtremeChief
06-23-2005, 04:56 AM
"I think I broke his freakin neck!"

ZootedGranny
06-23-2005, 05:06 AM
"You no help me now, I say, **** you Jobu, I do it myself!"
http://www.sportshollywood.com/images/cerrano.jpg

Dennis Haysbert's 2nd best role, right behind being President Palmer in "24." 3rd on the list was when he got 2 minutes of screentime in "Heat." 4th is as Lambert in Splinter Cell.

Otter
06-23-2005, 05:45 AM
Slapshot gets no love again.

siberian khatru
06-23-2005, 06:26 AM
All we got on this team are a buncha Jews, sp*cs, n***ers, pansies, and a booger-eatin' moron!

Swanman
06-23-2005, 06:46 AM
"I think I broke his freakin neck!"

Thank you, at least someone remembered a great line from one of the best sports films of all time. That list is a complete joke. Once I saw that "The Sandlot" had a quote in it, I gave up hope.

Judge Smails
06-23-2005, 06:54 AM
"Forget about the curveball Ricky, give em the heater."

ISUJeff
06-23-2005, 07:01 AM
No "Field of Dreams", and I'm not gonna argue the cliche "Is this heaven?." The best quote is at the very end of the movie, "Hey Dad, how 'bout a catch."
Anybody who grew up playing baseball with their dad can see the power of that quote.

Sydd
06-23-2005, 08:49 AM
"You no help me now, I say, **** you Jobu, I do it myself!"


"Hey Bartender.... Jobu needs a refill!!!"

Bootlegged
06-23-2005, 08:54 AM
Well, I believe in the soul... the cock...the pussy... the small of a woman's back... the hangin' curveball... high fiber... good scotch... that the novels of Susan Sontag are self-indulgent overrated crap... I believe Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone. I believe there ought to be a Constitutional amendment outlawing Astroturf and the designated hitter. I believe in the sweet spot, soft core pornography, opening your presents Christmas morning rather than Christmas Eve, and I believe in long, slow, deep, soft, wet kisses that last three days. Goodnight."

Sydd
06-23-2005, 09:01 AM
Well, I believe in the soul... the cock...the pussy... the small of a woman's back... the hangin' curveball... high fiber... good scotch... that the novels of Susan Sontag are self-indulgent overrated crap... I believe Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone. I believe there ought to be a Constitutional amendment outlawing Astroturf and the designated hitter. I believe in the sweet spot, soft core pornography, opening your presents Christmas morning rather than Christmas Eve, and I believe in long, slow, deep, soft, wet kisses that last three days. Goodnight."



Oh my!

beavis
06-23-2005, 09:25 AM
"I look like a banker in this."

Nzoner
06-23-2005, 09:27 AM
Slapshot gets no love again.

First thing I thought,as well as North Dallas Forty.

Duck Dog
06-23-2005, 09:38 AM
"Pain heals, chicks dig scars and glory lasts forever."

Shane Falco

Stinger
06-23-2005, 09:42 AM
Carl Spackler: He's on his final hole. He's about 455 yards away, he's gonna hit about a 2 iron I think. This crowd has gone deadly silent, a Cinderella story outta nowhere. Former greenskeeper and now about to become the masters champion. IT'S IN THE HOLE.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Judge Smails: Ty, what did you shoot today?
Ty Webb: Oh, Judge, I don't keep score.
Judge Smails: Then how do you measure yourself with other golfers?
Ty Webb: By height.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Al Czervik: Last time I saw a mouth like that, it had a hook in it.
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Judge Smails: You know, you should play with Dr. Beeper and myself. I mean, he's been club champion for three years running and I'm no slouch myself.
Ty Webb: Don't sell yourself short Judge, you're a tremendous slouch.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sandy: Carl I want you to kill all the gophers on the golf course
Carl Spackler: Correct me if I'm wrong Sandy, but if I kill all the golfers they'll lock me up and throw away the key.
Sandy: Not golfers, you great fool. Gophers. The *little* *brown*, *furry* *rodents*.
Carl Spackler: We can do that. We don't even need a reason.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Al Czervik: Oh, this is the worst-looking hat I ever saw. What, when you buy a hat like this I bet you get a free bowl of soup, huh? Oh, it looks good on you though.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Lacey Underall: My uncle says you've got a screw loose.
Ty Webb: Your uncle molests collies.

Nzoner
06-23-2005, 09:48 AM
"Every scout in the NHL is out there tonight, with contracts in their pockets, and they're looking for talent. For winners. OOOOOOOOOH. All my years of publicity. Of the fashion shows and radiothons for nothing... They come here tonight... to scout the Chiefs... the toughest team in the Federal League. Not this. Buncha... pussies."

KCChiefsMan
06-23-2005, 09:48 AM
“You guys. You lollygag the ball around the infield. You lollygag your way down to first. You lollygag in and out of the dugout. You know what that makes you? Larry!”

— Skip in “Bull Durham”


A LOLLYGAGGER!!!

that one was pretty good

KCChiefsMan
06-23-2005, 09:52 AM
be the ball...be the ball...na na na na na na

KCChiefsMan
06-23-2005, 10:02 AM
This list sucks though

All right, men, now here's the play we're gonna use. I don't think the guards know this formation. It's called 'incidental punishment after the ball is blown dead.' Remember, any man you tackle gets an elbow, knee or kick in the mouth
-The Longest Yard -original

Maybe not a quote:
The part where Tom Cruise is doing that ninja stuff with the pool stick while listening to Warewolves in London was awesome in Color of Money

Just a reminder, fans, about Die-Hard Night coming up here at the stadium. Free admission to anyone who was actually alive the last time the Indians won a pennant
-Major League

You can do it!
-Waterboy

Sex and golf are the two things you can enjoy even if you're not good at them
-Tin Cup

Hey, Yankees, you can take your apology and your trophy and shove 'em straight up your ass
-Bad News Bears

If you build it, he will come
-Field of Dreams

You're gonna eat lightning, and you're gonna crap thunder
-Rocky

Show me the money
-Jerry Maquire

Nzoner
06-23-2005, 10:06 AM
Coach Johnson from North Dallas Forty really deserves some love.

"This is national TV. So don't pick your noses or scratch your nuts."

tyton75
06-23-2005, 10:46 AM
"I lost it in the sun"
-Skip looking up at the Clouds.. "Blinding"

CanadianChief
06-23-2005, 10:52 AM
Hey Hanna...eat this!!!!

tyton75
06-23-2005, 10:55 AM
"She is much fatter naked, its like wrestling a seal... thwap thwap thwap"

paraphrased cause I can't remember the exact quote..

Mystery Alaska

redhed
06-23-2005, 11:01 AM
Slapshot gets no love again.

No kidding!
And, not that I actually dig this movie, but no "Show me the money!" ?
Weak effort.

Jenson71
06-23-2005, 11:02 AM
"Ray, people will come Ray. They'll come to Iowa for reasons they can't even fathom. They'll turn up your driveway not knowing for sure why they're doing it. They'll arrive at your door as innocent as children, longing for the past. Of course, we won't mind if you look around, you'll say. It's only $20 per person. They'll pass over the money without even thinking about it: for it is money they have and peace they lack. And they'll walk out to the bleachers; sit in shirtsleeves on a perfect afternoon. They'll find they have reserved seats somewhere along one of the baselines, where they sat when they were children and cheered their heroes. And they'll watch the game and it'll be as if they dipped themselves in magic waters. The memories will be so thick they'll have to brush them away from their faces. People will come Ray. The one constant through all the years, Ray, has been baseball. America has rolled by like an army of steamrollers. It has been erased like a blackboard, rebuilt and erased again. But baseball has marked the time. This field, this game: it's a part of our past, Ray. It reminds of us of all that once was good and it could be again. Oh... people will come Ray. People will most definitely come." - Field of Dreams

"I remember those cheers, they still ring in my ears and for years they remain in my thoughts. 'Cause one night I took of my robe and, what'd I do?, I forgot to where shorts. I recall every fall, every hook, every jab, the worst way a guy can get rid of his flab. As you know my life was a jab, Though I'd rather hear you cheer when I delve into Shakespeare "A horse, A horse. My kingdom for a horse" I haven't had a winner in six months. And though I'm no Olivier, If he fought Sugar Ray he would say it the thing ain't the ring, its the play. So give me a stage, Where this Bull here could rage, And though I could fight I'd much rather recite: That's Entertainment." - Raging Bull

"You didn't get me down, Ray." - Raging Bull

redhed
06-23-2005, 11:04 AM
"You didn't get me down, Ray." - Raging Bull

"Did you ____ my wife?"

Demonpenz
06-23-2005, 11:13 AM
kingpin Roy Munson: "Hey, I did Ish a favor. If I hadn't knocked him out, those animals would have torn him apart. That's the thanks I get."
Claudia: "You didn't have to have beers with them afterwards."
Roy Munson: "Well, I didn't want them to think that we were in cahoots."
Claudia: "Well I think you cleared that up when you rubbed Tobasco in his eyes."

Sydd
06-23-2005, 11:19 AM
"She is much fatter naked, its like wrestling a seal... thwap thwap thwap"

paraphrased cause I can't remember the exact quote..

Mystery Alaska


"Mother Walrus going thwap thwap thwap? Here's a thwap." Snowshovel to the head.

I love that movie.

Sydd
06-23-2005, 11:21 AM
kingpin Roy Munson: "Hey, I did Ish a favor. If I hadn't knocked him out, those animals would have torn him apart. That's the thanks I get."
Claudia: "You didn't have to have beers with them afterwards."
Roy Munson: "Well, I didn't want them to think that we were in cahoots."
Claudia: "Well I think you cleared that up when you rubbed Tobasco in his eyes."



"Who says smoking is bad for you? Who has done more research on this than the cigarette compaies? I mean, why would they lie? If your dead, you can't smoke."

Judge Smails
06-23-2005, 11:26 AM
"You trying to say Jesus Christ can't hit a curveball?"

"I hear baseball players make awefully good salaries now a days."
"Well it all depends on how good you are."
"How good are you?"
"I make the league minimum."