PDA

View Full Version : I think I killed a medic.


Rain Man
07-04-2005, 11:15 AM
I was sitting at my dining room table with my wife, and all of a sudden this spider ran across the floor. I had a newspaper, and so I squashed it.

About five minutes later, a second spider of the same species as the first ran across the floor on an identical path. I squashed it, too, and then started thinking about it. I wonder if the second spider was a medic or something, because it had to see the first spider get smashed, and it ran directly toward it with no regard for its own risks.

I have a feeling I'm going to get a rebuke from the Red Cross soon.

PRIEST
07-04-2005, 11:17 AM
ROFL Good stuff!!!!!!!!!

DJay23
07-04-2005, 11:18 AM
Either that or spiders leave no "man" behind.

Skip Towne
07-04-2005, 11:23 AM
Are you sure you're getting enough oxygen to your brain in that thin air? Any smog alerts today?

dirk digler
07-04-2005, 11:27 AM
ROFL

That made me chuckle.

Rain Man
07-04-2005, 11:29 AM
It was almost exactly like that scene in Blackhawk Down.

Zebedee DuBois
07-04-2005, 11:40 AM
That second spider was an idiot, rushing into the kill zone for a fallen comrade without checking the area for threats.


or maybe the first spider owed the second twenty bucks and he was on his way to lift his wallet.

Skip Towne
07-04-2005, 11:54 AM
Was the second spider carrying a tiny black bag?

Rain Man
07-04-2005, 12:01 PM
I didn't see. It all happened so fast...I was just out of control.

mlyonsd
07-04-2005, 12:03 PM
You probably first killed the mom and then her eldest son that was rushing to help.

trndobrd
07-04-2005, 12:04 PM
Maybe the second spider thought your bloodlust had been satisfied with the murder of the first spider.

Frazod
07-04-2005, 12:07 PM
Find and kill some more spiders. Have fun with it! :evil:

trndobrd
07-04-2005, 12:11 PM
If you have trouble sleeping tonight, just imagine the second one was a rare species of "lawyer spider" that was running out to give the first spider his business card and a complimentary "So You've Been Injured: The Road To Recovery" accident victim handbook. Don't think of it as murdering a second innocent spider, think of it as saving years of litigation and a bank busting settlement.

Zebedee DuBois
07-04-2005, 12:20 PM
This story, besides highlighting Rain Man's buggutlust, shines a light on the versitality of the oft forgotten and maligned form of media - the newpaper. Although the newsprint media has suffered from the competition of television and the internet, it will never be vanquished. Would Rain Man have killed the first spider with his television set? I think not. Would he have dispatched the second with his keyboard? Again, unlikely. Would he ever take either of the newer medias to the bathroom for a twenty minute session and come back both relieved and possessing a finished crossword puzzle? I don't think so.
So, hail the newspaper! It may not be the fastest form of information transfer, but it's transportability, and adaptablity to secondary uses is unparalleled/

Rain Man
07-04-2005, 12:37 PM
If you have trouble sleeping tonight, just imagine the second one was a rare species of "lawyer spider" that was running out to give the first spider his business card and a complimentary "So You've Been Injured: The Road To Recovery" accident victim handbook. Don't think of it as murdering a second innocent spider, think of it as saving years of litigation and a bank busting settlement.

Now that you mention it, my visceral reaction upon seeing the second spider was very similar to my reaction upon seeing a lawyer.

JimNasium
07-04-2005, 12:39 PM
Must be one of those lemming spiders. You did the right thing bro. Now both of them can experience sex with 99 virgin lemming spiders.

Coach
07-04-2005, 12:54 PM
MEDIC!

chiefs4me
07-04-2005, 01:07 PM
I think you are very brave.....people think they are good for us because they eat insects....no freaking way. They sit and stare at you for hours, not moving, just waiting for you to let down your guard and then they pounce...disgusting little creatures.

Rain Man
07-04-2005, 01:22 PM
I think you are very brave.....people think they are good for us because they eat insects....no freaking way. They sit and stare at you for hours, not moving, just waiting for you to let down your guard and then they pounce...disgusting little creatures.

So you think they were setting up an ambush?

Hydrae
07-04-2005, 01:28 PM
You killed both members of a couple! First you killed the female then when her newlywed husband comes home from work, "BLAM!" you take him out as well. What do you have against true love???

gblowfish
07-04-2005, 01:31 PM
It's a profoundly slow news day here on Chiefs Planet...

Rain Man
07-04-2005, 01:34 PM
You killed both members of a couple! First you killed the female then when her newlywed husband comes home from work, "BLAM!" you take him out as well. What do you have against true love???

Eh. She would have eaten him during the honeymoon anyway.

chiefs4me
07-04-2005, 01:50 PM
So you think they were setting up an ambush?




I am sure of it...they are just hiding in corners of your house, under the sink, under the couches, waiting, looking, as soon as you let your guard down....bam...they are evil and sneaky...their whole life is spent plotting their next kill.......:deevee:

stevieray
07-04-2005, 01:54 PM
They were playing simon says, or hide and go seek....

98, 99...ready or not here I come....

Ultra Peanut
07-04-2005, 02:34 PM
I think you are very brave.....people think they are good for us because they eat insects....no freaking way. They sit and stare at you for hours, not moving, just waiting for you to let down your guard and then they pounce...disgusting little creatures.Yeah. I loathe children, too.

4th and Long
07-04-2005, 02:39 PM
I think someone (*cough* Rain Man *cough*) ruined a pefectly good game of, "Marco Polo."

chiefs4me
07-04-2005, 02:40 PM
Yeah. I loathe children, too.


sorry to hear that....I still think spiders are worse...ROFL

Pants
07-04-2005, 02:49 PM
You know it's against the Geneva Convention to kill medics, right? What kind of a soldier (or should I say killer) are you?

mcan
07-04-2005, 02:50 PM
Actually guys, I'm sure it was just a coincidence. Spiders don't play "Marco Polo," and they don't mate for life, and I'm pretty sure that they don't have "jobs" such as 'doctor' or 'lawyer.' Their only job is to build and maintain their web so that they can eat. Unless of course you killed a recluse, which don't spin webs to catch food. They hunt and kill their prey.


Here is a link to prove it...
Everything you ever wanted to know about spiders, including (but not limited to): What they do and how they do it. And what they DON'T do, such as (have traditional jobs, play silly games, get married, "settle down," adopt, keep pets, take a pill to relax, etc...) (http://www.spiderzrule.com/)

4th and Long
07-04-2005, 02:54 PM
Actually guys, I'm sure it was just a coincidence. Spiders don't play "Marco Polo," and they don't mate for life, and I'm pretty sure that they don't have "jobs" such as 'doctor' or 'lawyer.' Their only job is to build and maintain their web so that they can eat. Unless of course you killed a recluse, which don't spin webs to catch food. They hunt and kill their prey.


Here is a link to prove it...
Everything you ever wanted to know about spiders, including (but not limited to): What they do and how they do it. And what they DON'T do, such as (have traditional jobs, play silly games, get married, "settle down," adopt, keep pets, take a pill to relax, etc...) (http://www.spiderzrule.com/)
THREAD KILLER! :cuss:

Skip Towne
07-04-2005, 02:58 PM
sorry to hear that....I still think spiders are worse...ROFL
If you don't like 'em then I like 'em cause you're always wrong.

mcan
07-04-2005, 02:58 PM
THREAD KILLER! :cuss:

No, that's just a coincidence too. I typically don't "kill threads." Mostly I just sit at home in my sweats, drink Pepsi, draw, play guitar, and occaisionally look for naked girls online...









THERE'S ONE!


Oh wait, that's just a spider....

Rain Man
07-04-2005, 03:05 PM
No, that's just a coincidence too. I typically don't "kill threads." Mostly I just sit at home in my sweats, drink Pepsi, draw, play guitar, and occaisionally look for naked girls online...



Actually, according to this web site, Everything you need to know about mcans (http://www.Immakingthisup.com), mcans don't actually drink pepsi, play guitar, draw, and look for naked girls. Apparently they do sit at home in their sweats, though.

Skip Towne
07-04-2005, 03:09 PM
Hey, mcan, is Angel still your roommate? I haven't seen her around for awhile.

Zebedee DuBois
07-04-2005, 03:12 PM
Actually, according to this web site, Everything you need to know about mcans (http://www.Immakingthisup.com), mcans don't actually drink pepsi, play guitar, draw, and look for naked girls. Apparently they do sit at home in their sweats, though.

Off topic:
At what point do garments become "sweats"? Is it the elastic at the waist and ankles? If mcan is just sitting around, not sweating, are they still "sweats"?

Rain Man
07-04-2005, 03:15 PM
Off topic:
At what point do garments become "sweats"? Is it the elastic at the waist and ankles? If mcan is just sitting around, not sweating, are they still "sweats"?

I think it's related to the material. Elastic or not, if it's made out of that "sweats" material, then it's sweats, even if it is styled like a tuxedo.

Pants
07-04-2005, 03:16 PM
You guys know that spiders bring good fortune to your homes, right? That is unless you live in Texas - there they just kill you.

Rain Man
07-04-2005, 03:27 PM
You guys know that spiders bring good fortune to your homes, right? That is unless you live in Texas - there they just kill you.

I feel guilty that I discriminate against spiders. If it was a ladybug, I'd scoop it up and take it outside, but if it's a spider, I murder it, based on nothing more than its appearance. Until I and other humans can overcome these prejudices, there is little hope for world peace.

I pray for the day that someday I can find the strength of character to overcome my prejudices and sit down to dinner with a spider and enjoy a pleasant evening over some wine and flies.

Pants
07-04-2005, 03:53 PM
I feel guilty that I discriminate against spiders. If it was a ladybug, I'd scoop it up and take it outside, but if it's a spider, I murder it, based on nothing more than its appearance. Until I and other humans can overcome these prejudices, there is little hope for world peace.

I pray for the day that someday I can find the strength of character to overcome my prejudices and sit down to dinner with a spider and enjoy a pleasant evening over some wine and flies.

I understand your prejudices, that, however, still doesn't excuse you from killing a medic. He was a goddamned MEDIC.

go bowe
07-04-2005, 04:05 PM
mmmmm... ugh!

rain fella strange man...

spider spirit strong...

make plenty trouble for drizzle man...

make heap plenty loud bangs

all day into darkness too...

spider spirit speaking to you, shower guy...

ai-EE-yah!! spider spirit strong and brave!!

http://freebmw.net/share/Smilies/NormalSize/388.gif :Peace: :arrow: http://www.deephousepage.com/smilies/40s.gif [gulp][gulp] :D http://freebmw.net/share/Smilies/NormalSize/b_woot.gif http://freebmw.net/share/Smilies/NormalSize/b_woot.gif http://freebmw.net/share/Smilies/NormalSize/b_woot.gif

chop
07-04-2005, 05:33 PM
I thought everything that happened with you were in multiples of threes.

china_cup727
07-04-2005, 05:47 PM
Can't believe this thread has this many legs!!!!

4th and Long
07-04-2005, 05:49 PM
Can't believe this thread has this many legs!!!!
http://img204.imageshack.us/img204/4224/rimshot5mc.gif

Alright! Fresh meat with a sense of humor! Welcome aboard! :thumb:

go bowe
07-04-2005, 06:00 PM
http://img204.imageshack.us/img204/4224/rimshot5mc.gif

Alright! Fresh meat with a sense of humor! Welcome aboard! :thumb:aye, matey...

but mind the rigging as you cross the gunwale...

Logical
07-04-2005, 06:10 PM
I am sure of it...they are just hiding in corners of your house, under the sink, under the couches, waiting, looking, as soon as you let your guard down....bam...they are evil and sneaky...their whole life is spent plotting their next kill.......:deevee:

Are we talking about your presence on the BB or spiders?

cdcox
07-04-2005, 06:50 PM
I feel guilty that I discriminate against spiders. If it was a ladybug, I'd scoop it up and take it outside, but if it's a spider, I murder it, based on nothing more than its appearance. Until I and other humans can overcome these prejudices, there is little hope for world peace.

I pray for the day that someday I can find the strength of character to overcome my prejudices and sit down to dinner with a spider and enjoy a pleasant evening over some wine and flies.

We had an infestation of lady bugs this year. Actually someone said they were a beetle that just looks like a lady bug. At any given time we would have a dozen or so crawling around on the celing of the living and dining rooms. So I got a jar and caught them all. In a few days there woud be a bunch more so I'd repeat the process. I kept them in the jar unitl they were dead. Spiders I just mash.

Zebedee DuBois
07-04-2005, 08:17 PM
spider spirit strong...

make plenty trouble for drizzle man...

make heap plenty loud bangs

all day into darkness too...




Yeah... those barking spiders ARE the worst.

angel
07-04-2005, 10:35 PM
Hey, mcan, is Angel still your roommate? I haven't seen her around for awhile.
I actually just moved into my new place near the Plaza in KC about a week ago. I graduated from KSU, and now I'm without purpose in life.

RainMan, Killing spiders, medic or not- perfectly acceptable in my book. I have been bitten by spiders that have sent me to the emergency room in the past. So by killing spiders, especially spiders who help other spiders, you are doing Angel-kind a grand favor. Kudos to you!

Pants
07-04-2005, 10:37 PM
I actually just moved into my new place near the Plaza in KC about a week ago. I graduated from KSU, and now I'm without purpose in life.

RainMan, Killing spiders, medic or not- perfectly acceptable in my book. I have been bitten by spiders that have sent me to the emergency room in the past. So by killing spiders, especially spiders who help other spiders, you are doing Angel-kind a grand favor. Kudos to you!

Brown recluse?

Also, you should know that killing medics is simply unacceptable.

Talisman
07-04-2005, 11:31 PM
The second spider was obviously a rookie patrol officer that should have checked the scene to make sure the murdered had left.

Kevin, we don't take kindly to cop killers in these parts.

mcan
07-05-2005, 01:36 AM
Hey, mcan, is Angel still your roommate? I haven't seen her around for awhile.


She graduated and moved in with a mutual friend of ours back in KC so she can work for her dad. So for the rest of the month, I've got a three bedroom apartment completely empty... She still loiters around here abit, but I don't think she has her internet set up yet at her new digs.

mcan
07-05-2005, 01:39 AM
Didn't realise that Angel had already responded. Uhh... Ignore that last post...

keg in kc
07-05-2005, 02:12 AM
I actually just moved into my new place near the Plaza in KC about a week ago. I graduated from KSU, and now I'm without purpose in life.Welcome to my world. Well, at least the "without purpose in life" part.

And, Kevin, you probably just slaughtered a mother and father, and some baby spider is somewhere cold and alone, tears in his eyes.

Well done!

trndobrd
07-05-2005, 02:15 AM
I graduated from KSU, and now I'm without purpose in life.


Let the Wildcat bashing begin!



How's the offer coming along?

Kerberos
07-05-2005, 06:07 AM
That second spider had never been in NAM or he/she would never have ventured into the hot LZ knowingly that a newspaper sniper was out there taunting him with a wounded comrade.

A combat worn veteran spider would have known the trickery of your actions.

You now have battle scared spiders in your home my man. I hope you have your defenses ready?


:D



.

Rain Man
07-05-2005, 07:34 AM
Didn't realise that Angel had already responded. Uhh... Ignore that last post...


What mcan's post says now:

She graduated and moved in with a mutual friend of ours back in KC so she can work for her dad. So for the rest of the month, I've got a three bedroom apartment completely empty... She still loiters around here abit, but I don't think she has her internet set up yet at her new digs.


What mcan's post said last night:

She graduated, and to celebrate we had a threesome with Angelina Jolie. Well, Angelina and I hit it off and angel got kind of jealous, so she moved out, going back to KC so she can work with her dad. So for the rest of the month, I've got a three bedroom apartment completely empty except for Angelina's toothbrush in my medicine cabinet...She still loiters around here a bit. As for angel, I don't think she has her internet set up yet at her new digs.

mcan
07-05-2005, 08:36 AM
What mcan's post said last night:

She graduated, and to celebrate we had a threesome with Angelina Jolie. Well, Angelina and I hit it off and angel got kind of jealous, so she moved out, going back to KC...


Can't put anything past you... :rolleyes:

Seriously though, as long as we're making sh!t up. Why didn't you hook me up with Keira instead? Man... I'm sorry I made fun of you spider thread OK!

whoman69
07-05-2005, 09:44 AM
I didn't see. It all happened so fast...I was just out of control.
Stay out of combat. You're likely to frag one of your own. You're too jumpy.

Rain Man
07-05-2005, 10:57 AM
Stay out of combat. You're likely to frag one of your own. You're too jumpy.


I'm already feeling some post-traumatic stress.


The horror....The horror....

(Can someone make me a picture of a stickman with malaria cooling his head with water?)

Electric
07-05-2005, 11:02 AM
I saw a movie about spiders with some toxic waste mixing not long ago. I hope you didn't accidently start a mutant variation that will get bigger and attack all of mankind!!! You could have started the Bug War of all time!!!