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View Full Version : How often do you sit on your testicles?


Donger
07-05-2005, 06:09 PM
I probably average about one a week. Accidently, mind you.

Ari Chi3fs
07-05-2005, 06:14 PM
more importantly, Donger... how often do you wash them?

Donger
07-05-2005, 06:15 PM
more importantly, Donger... how often do you wash them?

When my wife tells me to.

Ultra Peanut
07-05-2005, 06:17 PM
My friend occasionally regales me with tales of him accidentally sitting on his testicles and how much it hurts when he does so.

I say to him, "WHY do you feel the need to tell me this?"

He apparently dispenses this information to everyone. His parents, his sister, his other friends...

Donger
07-05-2005, 06:18 PM
My friend occasionally regales me with tales of him accidentally sitting on his testicles and how much it hurts when he does so.

I say to him, "WHY do you feel the need to tell me this?"

He apparently dispenses this information to everyone. His parents, his sister, his other friends...

What a freak.

Ultra Peanut
07-05-2005, 06:21 PM
What a freak.That's what I'm sayin'.

Ari Chi3fs
07-05-2005, 06:21 PM
When my wife tells me to.

Im kinda surprised that you have a wife. Y'know, with your personality and your hygiene...

Ultra Peanut
07-05-2005, 06:22 PM
Why'm I envisioning Joy Peters?

Donger
07-05-2005, 06:23 PM
Im kinda surprised that you have a wife. Y'know, with your personality and your hygiene...

My personality? What do you mean?

Taco John
07-05-2005, 06:25 PM
I usually just set up a couple of pillows in my testicles and just crash and take naps for hours at a time. Occassionally I have to fluff them up a bit. I'll let you decide whether that last part was about pillows or not.

Donger
07-05-2005, 06:26 PM
I usually just set up a couple of pillows in my testicles and just crash and take naps for hours at a time. Occassionally I have to fluff them up a bit. I'll let you decide whether that last part was about pillows or not.

You put pillows in your testicles?

brorth
07-05-2005, 06:28 PM
Once a week I catch myself with the kind that brings a tear to the eye.
I was explaining to my fiance about the whole sitting on the balls thing. She didn't believe me until one evening, I went to sit down and asked her to pick up the package. She reached over with a thumb and finger, so I had to explain that you have to reach way down there and get a handful to clear them from harm's way. Upon feeling just how far balls can hang sometimes, she yells " That's nuts!"

I said "Exactly."

Taco John
07-05-2005, 06:29 PM
Yeah... My testicles are more comfortable to crash in if there is some extra padding.

KCChiefsMan
07-05-2005, 07:08 PM
I've sat on my nuts before and let me tell you it's no picnic

Katipan
07-05-2005, 07:19 PM
every time i sit on my purse

Phobia
07-05-2005, 07:27 PM
I'll sit on them anytime something more comfortable is unavailable.

JimNasium
07-05-2005, 07:29 PM
I'm sitting on mine right now.

KCChiefsMan
07-05-2005, 08:44 PM
I kinda like it when a girl is "sitting" on my testicles....it hasn't happened in a while though :banghead: :cuss:

jiveturkey
07-05-2005, 08:50 PM
I kinda like it when a girl is "sitting" on my testiclesThat's when I start punching people in the titties.

cdcox
07-05-2005, 08:50 PM
Stepping on them, now that smarts!

el borracho
07-05-2005, 08:55 PM
every time i sit on my purse
Hold your tongue and say that!

Thig Lyfe
07-05-2005, 09:04 PM
Actually, I use mine as a seat.

Rukdafaidas
07-05-2005, 09:34 PM
How old are you guys?
I thought only the old timers had sacks that hang to their knees.
You do know you're supposed to sit on your arse, right?
I mean, I've racked myself on a motorcycle, but not on my couch.
It sounds as though you guys may want to talk to a plastic surgeon about a sack reduction.

Phobia
07-05-2005, 09:35 PM
How old are you guys?

It's not the age so much as the elephantitus.

WolfDawg
07-05-2005, 09:40 PM
What sucks is when your kicked back relaxing and someone plops down next to you and sits on them.

Zebedee DuBois
07-05-2005, 09:55 PM
About once every ten years, I get a little quick with the zipper.

That smarts.

Chiefs Pantalones
07-05-2005, 09:55 PM
In football practice one time, I didn't have my nut cup because I just made a mistake, I don't know what I was thinking. Anywho, I got kneed in the nuts, real hard, causing one of my testicles to go up in my stomach. It sucked really, really bad. Everyone was either concerned, or laughing at me because I'm the goofy type of person that no one would suspect I was being for real. The trainer came out, asked me what was wrong. I was like, "dude, my nuts!!" He asked me if I could feel both of them. I said yes, one hurts and one feels numb. He said, you got one in your stomach. Everyone starts busting up laughing. Scott lifts me up by my arms from behind, and sits by butt down on the side of his foot, and just like that, my ball popped out of my stomach back into the sack. It was probably the best feeling ever, knowing that you've got both of them back. I went to the doctor and they gave me a more detailed description of what happened. In English, basically my left testy got sent up, not all the way, but stuck right in the middle going toward the stomach or something. There were bigger words for it, but I'm not that bright to remember it.

It sucked, though. The rest of the season my friends called me Sac-N-Sav, after a local grocery store.

luv
07-05-2005, 09:57 PM
Has anyone mentioned this thread is worthless without pics? ROFL

Phobia
07-05-2005, 10:06 PM
Has anyone mentioned this thread is worthless without pics? ROFL

Not yet, but I'm happy to oblige. (http://poetry.rotten.com/testicle/de3-64.html)

luv
07-05-2005, 10:09 PM
Not yet, but I'm happy to oblige. (http://poetry.rotten.com/testicle/de3-64.html)
:eek:

I am now scarred for life. :deevee:

ROFL

Rukdafaidas
07-05-2005, 10:11 PM
Has anyone mentioned this thread is worthless without pics? ROFL
Here's a pic of Donger trying to lay down when he was a kid.
http://www.westons.com/acatalog/ao812103_large.jpg

Ultra Peanut
07-05-2005, 10:12 PM
About once every ten years, I get a little quick with the zipper.

That smarts.""Franks and beans! Franks and beans!"

<img src="http://brnation.d2sector.net/images/moviearticle/warren.jpg" style="width: 261px; height: 215px; border: 0" alt="" />

Count Alex's Wins
07-05-2005, 10:14 PM
My nads are pretty small, so I've never sat on 'em.

Phobia
07-05-2005, 10:16 PM
My nads are pretty small, so I've never sat on 'em.

Do the predictable reactions to your bait ever get old?

Count Alex's Wins
07-05-2005, 10:17 PM
Do the predictable reactions to your bait ever get old?

Honestly? I was just responding in kind.

I don't see what's so great about having huge balls anyway.

Dayze
07-05-2005, 10:28 PM
I sat on them once; but now I'm make dang sure I sling 'em over my shoulder before taking a seat.

Phobia
07-05-2005, 10:30 PM
Honestly? I was just responding in kind.

I don't see what's so great about having huge balls anyway.

Get in the way of your hand, do they? Don't worry, one day you'll figure out a use for them.

luv
07-05-2005, 10:35 PM
Get in the way of your hand, do they? Don't worry, one day you'll figure out a use for them.
They're good for...

oh, never mind.

tommykat
07-05-2005, 10:44 PM
They're good for...

oh, never mind.

Not worth chit.......I sit on mine daily of course. :hmmm:

StcChief
07-05-2005, 11:05 PM
WTF. Lounging around naked or no support will do that.

Count Alex's Wins
07-05-2005, 11:11 PM
Not worth chit.......I sit on mine daily of course. :hmmm:

Tranny?

Rain Man
07-05-2005, 11:39 PM
Off topic, but I suffer from racknophobia. It's an irrational fear of being kneed in the groin by a spider.

Simplex3
07-06-2005, 12:17 AM
Sitting on them is bad, I'll admit. HOWEVER, I used to have a pair of jeans that fit just wrong and my left one would find it's way into just the wrong position and when I'd sit down it would get smashed in a crease. I threw those f**king jeans away. I just looked stupid trying to sit down in a meeting. Either you spend excess adjustment time or you risk the tears. Either way was begging for a sexual harrassment suit.

Mr. Flopnuts
07-06-2005, 12:22 AM
Sitting on them is bad, I'll admit. HOWEVER, I used to have a pair of jeans that fit just wrong and my left one would find it's way into just the wrong position and when I'd sit down it would get smashed in a crease. I threw those f**king jeans away. I just looked stupid trying to sit down in a meeting. Either you spend excess adjustment time or you risk the tears. Either way was begging for a sexual harrassment suit.


ROFL I had a pair of those. F*ckin horrible

Pants
07-06-2005, 12:25 AM
I make sure to swing them forward before every sit down.

ChiefsFire
07-06-2005, 12:37 AM
the real question is how often do you sit on someone elses nuts?

Simplex3
07-06-2005, 12:38 AM
the real question is how often do you sit on someone elses nuts?
1. That would be NEVER
2. Talk about opening yourself up to every lame Gay-U joke... :shake:

Ultra Peanut
07-06-2005, 01:31 AM
Tranny?God, those freaknuggets are EVERYWHERE!

What is this nation coming to when you can't even kill them without possibly risking jail time? :shake:

go bowe
07-06-2005, 01:36 AM
every time i sit on my purseyou have testicles in your purse??? :eek: :eek: :eek:

Katipan
07-06-2005, 02:05 AM
you have testicles in your purse??? :eek: :eek: :eek:

Well I am married, babe.

Otter
07-06-2005, 06:36 AM
I can honestly say I've never sat on my testicals. And to head off any size remarks, I've never had a problem in that catagory either.

May I point Donger and anyone else having this problem to the following website:

http://www.altermd.com/Penis%20and%20Scrotal%20Surgery/scrotum_reduction.htm

chagrin
07-06-2005, 08:16 AM
Never, I just set them over to the seat right next to me, works great. My girl hates 'em though, she always has to ride in the backseat of the car...

gblowfish
07-06-2005, 09:18 AM
http://www.neuticles.com/

cadmonkey
07-06-2005, 09:20 AM
a better question is how ofter do they stick to your leg?

brorth
07-06-2005, 09:32 AM
I can honestly say I've never sat on my testicals. And to head off any size remarks, I've never had a problem in that catagory either.

May I point Donger and anyone else having this problem to the following website:

http://www.altermd.com/Penis%20and%20Scrotal%20Surgery/scrotum_reduction.htm

I just can't seem to get the SEE PHOTOS in your link to work, could someone who knows how to post pics put them up?

Rukdafaidas
07-06-2005, 09:39 AM
WTF. Lounging around naked or no support will do that.
That's a good point. I don't lounge around naked and I wear briefs, not boxers.

Skip Towne
07-06-2005, 09:40 AM
My nads are pretty small, so I've never sat on 'em.
Atrophy?

KC Kings
07-06-2005, 09:46 AM
I switched to over to boxer breifs, and have not had the problem since.

What hurts even more than sitting on them is when you are wearing boxers, take a long stride where they are hanging in the middle, and your next step as the other leg comes forward crushes the rocks between the other leg. That happened once while playing catch, and I run after a bad pass and they got slammed.

ChiTown
07-06-2005, 10:20 AM
I'm cursed with a huge sack. I had to switch from boxers, to boxer briefs a long time ago. Now, sack squashing is a thing of the past........

Iowanian
07-06-2005, 10:24 AM
I don't see what's so great about having huge balls anyway.

Why don't you ask a female, who has been pounded Proppa in Fido's love stance.....


...of course, Chitown's broads don't count, since by his own testimony, he has to perch his knees up on double pillows so they don't rug burn, and slap those poor women in the zyphoid. Tragic really.

ChiTown
07-06-2005, 10:28 AM
Why don't you ask a female, who has been pounded Proppa in Fido's love stance.....

Nothing quite like the sound of the sack hitting the love lips..........

MOhillbilly
07-06-2005, 12:18 PM
I can honestly say I've never sat on my testicals. And to head off any size remarks, I've never had a problem in that catagory either.

May I point Donger and anyone else having this problem to the following website:

http://www.altermd.com/Penis%20and%20Scrotal%20Surgery/scrotum_reduction.htm

damn dingers are ugly wtf is up w/ the freak in the bottom set of pics.

BigMeatballDave
07-06-2005, 01:27 PM
ROFL This a fun read. I've never sat on my testicals. Maybe thats because I have a big fat ass...

Otter
07-06-2005, 01:33 PM
Haha, I love the way the describe it: ROFL

Enlargement of the scrotum occurs with many men as they age. The enlargement can cause irritation to the scrotum and upper inner thigh. Some men have discomfort in tight clothes and underpants. Other men may dislike the cosmetic appearance of the hanging scrotum.

"So, Iowanian, come over here a minute and take a good look. Does my saggy scrotum make me look less appealing? Be honest."

Iowanian
07-06-2005, 01:38 PM
"why no otter, in a purly platanic, yet helpful way, I'd say thats a fine size for a boy your age."


Cosmetic appearance? Don't spend any time in a lumbercamp with a guy that worries about that....maybe let him decorate your wife's sewing room or something.