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View Full Version : Women are evil....the proof


Hydrae
07-13-2005, 02:57 PM
Mathematics Prove Girls are Evil!

Today, I shall illustrate the evilness of the woman! Proven by modern mathematics! This will be short and sweet, but none the less, very enlightening.

First, we assume that all girls take time and money.


Girls = Time x Money

Furthermore, we take the statement, "Time is money", and we get:

Time = Money

Girls = Money x Money

Girls = Money^2

Moreover, the statement, "Money is the root of all evil" means that:

Evil = the square root of money

Girls = (Evil)^1/2 (Evil)^1/2

which reduces to...

Girls = Evil

Ah hah! We have proof of the evil witches who are plotting the demise of the male population! Take that woman!

Count Alex's Losses
07-13-2005, 02:58 PM
This has only been posted ten billion times...

Raiderhader
07-13-2005, 03:02 PM
Like we needed proof.

chagrin
07-13-2005, 03:05 PM
spawned from the left horn of the goat; much like Athena sprung fully formed from the head of Zeus

AeroSquid
07-13-2005, 03:06 PM
old as the internet :)

http://www.andrew.cmu.edu/user/ttsujita/girls%20evil.jpg

Hydrae
07-13-2005, 03:08 PM
Sorry, I got a chuckle out of it. I do apologize for not putting in the "Don't know if this has been posted before..." caveat.

Rain Man
07-13-2005, 03:08 PM
I've never seen this before. Does this mean that I suck at the Internet?

Goapics1
07-13-2005, 03:11 PM
Sorry, I got a chuckle out of it. I do apologize for not putting in the "Don't know if this has been posted before..." caveat.
Don't worry about it. There is enough dumbassery that goes on around here to be concerned with something like this.

Count Alex's Losses
07-13-2005, 03:11 PM
I've never seen this before. Does this mean that I suck at the Internet?

You've mastered a higher art.

JimNasium
07-13-2005, 04:05 PM
I've never seen this before. Does this mean that I suck at the Internet?
No, it simply means you are a dumbass.

Amnorix
07-13-2005, 04:10 PM
Insert standard "Never trust anything that bleeds for a week but doesn't die" comment.

Lzen
07-13-2005, 04:12 PM
I've never seen this before. Does this mean that I suck at the Internet?

Me too, I guess. I've never seen this one.

Simplex3
07-13-2005, 04:26 PM
For those who suck at the Intarweb so bad they hadn't seen the girls=evil thing, here's another old one:

http://www.newhopechurch.org.au/John_Banton_web_sermons/Rules_According_to_Men.htm

The Rules According to Men:



We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are rules from the male side.

Please note these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down?

1. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we can find the perfect present yet again!

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. We don't remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on a calendar. Remind us frequently beforehand.

1. Most guys own three pairs of shoes. What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. Check your oil. Please!

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really !

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. Foreign films are best left to foreigners.

1. It is neither in your best interest or ours to take the quiz together. No, it doesn't matter which quiz.

1. I'm in shape. ROUND is a shape.

1. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know we really don't mind that, it's like camping.

whoman69
07-13-2005, 04:31 PM
In other news the sky is blue and the Raiders suck.

DRU
07-13-2005, 05:09 PM
Well, I hate to say it cuz I think women are evil too...but this doesn't really work. If women take time AND money, that would be time + money, not time * money. So that screws up the entire equation. :(

KChiefsQT
07-13-2005, 05:36 PM
Evil... I'll show u evil... :evil: hahaha... yes this statement is true... women are evil, including myself.

Rain Man
07-13-2005, 05:48 PM
Well, I hate to say it cuz I think women are evil too...but this doesn't really work. If women take time AND money, that would be time + money, not time * money. So that screws up the entire equation. :(

So according to your interpretation, women are twice the square root of evil. That means that if evil is less than 4, women are worse than evil.

keg in kc
07-13-2005, 05:51 PM
Women are evil? Really?

Hmm. First I've heard of that.

Count Alex's Losses
07-13-2005, 05:59 PM
Evil... I'll show u evil... :evil: hahaha... yes this statement is true... women are evil, including myself.

Please don't go chiefs4me on us...

Skip Towne
07-13-2005, 06:12 PM
That JennyGump is REALLY evil. She picks on old people.

Count Alex's Losses
07-13-2005, 06:14 PM
That JennyGump is REALLY evil. She picks on old people.

Did she rape you?

KChiefsQT
07-13-2005, 06:24 PM
Please don't go chiefs4me on us...

NEVER!!

Rain Man
07-13-2005, 06:40 PM
Did she rape you?

She didn't. That's why he's upset.

osumatt
07-14-2005, 10:53 PM
Based on your precepts you are, indeed, correct. But I believe that one
of your givens is incorrect. Since we know that girls aren't evil (at
least not all the time) and that girls really do take time and money,
your step before "money is evil" is then correct:

2
Girls = Money

The next statement is obvious to any man, but less so to a woman. Just
so it's clear, I will spell it out:

Girls = Sex

And from this, we can derive another equation through substitution:

2
Sex = Money

Which is the basic equation governing the contractual relationship that
we call marriage.

Now, as we all know, the move to a "Free Agent" economy is pretty much
inevitable. Free Agents are persons who have a working relationship that
is not exclusive, and where the more common laws of economics (supply
vs. demand) come into play more strongly (i.e., higher elasticity of
supply) because the ties that bind buyers and sellers are weaker. This
is, of course, agreeable with the principles of Free Market Economics -
reducing or eliminating artificial barriers to entry.

More and more workers are working from home in their pajamas doing
"freelance" work for different employers who need their strogly focused
skills. If we remove contractual relationships from the marriage
equation (above), we find that women working from home in their pajamas
and removing artificial barriers to entry (like taking out the trash),
especially if they have focused strongly on developing certain skills,
provide an inherently more efficient economy:

Sex = Money

This would increase the economic efficiency of the system exponentially,
which after the multiplication factor means that the average amount of
disposable funds (beer money) available to those below the poverty level
would increase dramatically, with similar effects on both the middle
class and the wealthy.

So, in order to end world hunger and make the world a better place, we
should move away from marriage to a "free agent" system of prostitution.
All men would then be strongly encouraged in times of economic hardship
to increase consumption, i.e., two or three at a time if they are up to
it.