PDA

View Full Version : What situation would motivate you to be a suicide bomber?


Rain Man
07-13-2005, 06:47 PM
What situation would have to be in place? Be specific. Would you suicide bomb a platoon of Moslem extremists who were about to open fire on the Vatican? Would you suicide bomb Chinese occupation forces who were brutalizing people in your hometown? Would you suicide bomb a clandestine meeting of terrorists who were planning a nuclear attack on U.S. soil? Would you suicide bomb a Swiss army that has come to topple George Bush from power by order of the United Nations?

Just curious.

4th and Long
07-13-2005, 06:51 PM
I would only do it if you, Rain Man, posted a thread that had obvious multiple choice answers, yet neglected to post an appropriate poll to go along with it, much like this thread.

GIVE ME A HUG, BIG BOY! http://img293.imageshack.us/img293/2199/blowup8qx.gif

Count Alex's Losses
07-13-2005, 07:00 PM
If some radical terrorist group had destroyed my entire family I'd suicide bomb their headquarters, but only after the Chiefs won the Super Bowl and I got laid.

Phobia
07-13-2005, 07:01 PM
1,000 bi-sexual virgins and beer.

schneider221
07-13-2005, 07:03 PM
Any situation where the life of anyone really important was on the line....or a situation where tons of innocent people could die

Count Alex's Losses
07-13-2005, 07:08 PM
1,000 bi-sexual virgins and beer.

Why would you want 1,000 bisexual guys?

Phobia
07-13-2005, 07:12 PM
Why would you want 1,000 bisexual guys?

My fault. Here's clarification for homochiefs:

I kinda need them to be of the female persuasion. Currently and at all times in the past. Transgenders need not apply.

Rain Man
07-13-2005, 07:14 PM
I have a hard time envisioning a scenario where I would do it. It would have to be an incredibly extreme, history-hanging-in-the-balance scenario. Otherwise, I'd have my thinking cap on overdrive to figure out a way to accomplish the same thing without killing myself.

I would do it if it was a situation like a bunch of terrorists ten seconds from setting off a nuke, or if I had somehow infiltrated the headquarters of the invading aliens' mother ship or something. Other than that, I'd be thinking twice about it and trying to talk someone else into being the hero.

gblowfish
07-13-2005, 07:44 PM
"What situation would have to be in place? "

Uh... Rainman, are you hearing voices?

The only way I'll blow myself up is if the Missouri DMV doesn't accept my new social security card as legit proof I'm me!!

(See DC Forum: Missouri Show Me Proof Law Is Ridiculous).

I was thinking today, who's more hideous?
High School Cafeteria Lunch Ladies
or
DMV Clerk Chicks?

Both are hideous and frightening in their own special ways.

Frazod
07-13-2005, 07:51 PM
I could never do that. It would mean too much to me to be able to gloat over the bodies of my victims.

:)

Rain Man
07-13-2005, 07:56 PM
I could never do that. It would mean too much to me to be able to gloat over the bodies of my victims.

:)


I was kinda figuring that your answer would be more along the lines of "I ordered pepperoni and sausage and only got sausage."

Frazod
07-13-2005, 07:57 PM
I was kinda figuring that your answer would be more along the lines of "I ordered pepperoni and sausage and only got sausage."

I HATE SAUSAGE ON PIZZA. :#

Saulbadguy
07-13-2005, 08:00 PM
Another bad Chiefs season.

Frazod
07-13-2005, 08:01 PM
Another bad Chiefs season.

Okay. Just do it at a KU/KSU game. :thumb:

:evil:

ChiTown
07-13-2005, 08:03 PM
Okay. Just do it at a KU/MU game. :thumb:

:evil:

Completely agree!

:ksu:

DJay23
07-13-2005, 08:04 PM
Can't I just throw the bomb?

The thing with suicide bombings is that unless you can take out ALL of your enemies at once, you need other people to do it to to be effective. If one person suicide bombs, the invaders think, "just one crazy person, carry on." But if several people do it, then the likelihood goes up that ANYONE could do it thus instilling fear and doubt in your enemy.

My answer is no, I'm not killing myself. I like to think I can come up with a more creative way to stop the bad guys.

Jenson71
07-13-2005, 08:12 PM
If Mark Winegardner was signed on to write a sequel to The Godfather Returns.

Simplex3
07-13-2005, 08:14 PM
If some radical terrorist group had destroyed my entire family I'd suicide bomb their headquarters, but only after the Chiefs won the Super Bowl and I got laid.
So never.

jiveturkey
07-13-2005, 08:14 PM
If I was chained to Rosie O'Donnel or Rosanne Barr.

Simplex3
07-13-2005, 08:18 PM
If I was chained to Rosie O'Donnel or Rosanne Barr.
Or Oprah. Hell, you might as well blow yourself up before they eat you alive.

eazyb81
07-13-2005, 08:19 PM
A bank giving me over $50 bucks in overdraft charges for being 10 cents overdrawn.

Oh, wait, that already happened......:cuss:

F#CK YOU US BANK!!!

Zebedee DuBois
07-13-2005, 08:20 PM
I have a real problem picturing myself in a life or death situation.
I haven't ever been in one.

As for some of the scenarios, my instinct would be to "notify authorities".


just not wired to be an action hero.

Simplex3
07-13-2005, 08:21 PM
A bank giving me over $50 bucks in overdraft charges for being 10 cents overdrawn.

Oh, wait, that already happened......:cuss:

F#CK YOU US BANK!!!
UMB dinged me over $50 in fees because one of their tellers forgot to actually put my check in the drawer. They refused to refund the charges even after the manager found the check sitting on the counter when I went back a week later. Of course I also had fees from the places that I wrote the checks to and they wouldn't talk about those either.

Zebedee DuBois
07-13-2005, 08:25 PM
On second thought, if I were marooned on a deserted island with any of those planeteers in the poll thread...I think I would consider a suicide bombing.

jiveturkey
07-13-2005, 08:27 PM
On second thought, if I were marooned on a deserted island with any of those planeteers in the poll thread...I think I would consider a suicide bombing.They might vote agaisnt that.

penchief
07-13-2005, 08:33 PM
Only if I knew that I had just 24 hours to live and that my doing so would ensure that my utopian ideals would be eternally adopted.

Rain Man
07-13-2005, 08:33 PM
UMB dinged me over $50 in fees because one of their tellers forgot to actually put my check in the drawer. They refused to refund the charges even after the manager found the check sitting on the counter when I went back a week later. Of course I also had fees from the places that I wrote the checks to and they wouldn't talk about those either.


That's worth a suicide bombing.


I currently have the worst ISP/phone provider in America, Eschelon Telecom. (www.eschelon.com if you would like to hack their web site with obscenities and earn a free Chik-Fil-A lunch from me.)

After a number of service problems, we found our contract and discovered that they have not given us a promised $55.98 per month discount for the entire 17 months of the contract so far. We're now demanding that they honor the contract and return us our $950 in overcharges, and they're saying that they're only obligated to return the overcharges for the past 90 days. If we don't get our money back, I'm going to strap a bomb to the beggar outside my building and throw a sandwich into Eschelon world headquarters.

penchief
07-13-2005, 08:41 PM
UMB dinged me over $50 in fees because one of their tellers forgot to actually put my check in the drawer. They refused to refund the charges even after the manager found the check sitting on the counter when I went back a week later. Of course I also had fees from the places that I wrote the checks to and they wouldn't talk about those either.

This is one of my biggest gripes with our culture. Banks and utility companies really do believe that our money belongs to them. And they also believe that customer service is an antiquated virtue for those who are silly.

Rain Man
11-17-2006, 01:24 AM
To those who believe that dreams can't come true....


I got a call from the firm that handles our computer stuff today, and one of their clients was considering signing a contract with Eschelon Telecommunications. They knew that we had them, and asked us to provide our thoughts about them.

I did.

To the crooks at Eschelon: you still have the money you stole from me, but I just cost you a client worth at least ten times that much. It's a start.

BigRock
11-17-2006, 01:30 AM
If the Raiduhs win on Sunday.

trndobrd
11-17-2006, 05:36 AM
Not sure about the "why", but there "where" is pretty much assured...


13655 Broncos Parkway
Englewood, CO 80112

Guru
11-17-2006, 05:51 AM
Hmmm, wonder if Homeland Security is viewing this thread as we speak.

Fairplay
11-17-2006, 05:56 AM
Hmmm, wonder if Homeland Security is viewing this thread as we speak.



I would not doubt it. They probably feed key words into the internet like 'suicide bomber' and such. And see what idiots are posting about it.

plbrdude
11-17-2006, 06:20 AM
UMB dinged me over $50 in fees because one of their tellers forgot to actually put my check in the drawer. They refused to refund the charges even after the manager found the check sitting on the counter when I went back a week later. Of course I also had fees from the places that I wrote the checks to and they wouldn't talk about those either.



surely you do your banking elsewhere now.

patteeu
11-17-2006, 07:06 AM
If I found out the location of the next meeting between Osama bin Laden, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, Dominique de Villepin and Nancy Pelosi to plot the destruction of America. ;)

Rain Man
11-17-2006, 09:24 AM
Hmmm, wonder if Homeland Security is viewing this thread as we speak.

Dear Homeland Security,

Please don't use Eschelon Telecommunications for your phone service. And would you please pass word along to all of the other Cabinet leaders, too?

Sincerely,

Rain Man

JBucc
11-17-2006, 09:32 AM
I'll just pay some kid to do it for me. I couldn't do it myself, I'm not some whacko.

Redrum_69
11-17-2006, 09:39 AM
more stupid threads like this one

BigRedChief
11-17-2006, 09:44 AM
Hmmm, wonder if Homeland Security is viewing this thread as we speak.Thats NSA and of course the words "suicide bomber" are a trigger but the mathimatical calculations of the bots are very very complicated. You can't have individuals looking at web sites because the words suicide bomer are mentioned. You would need thousands of people just for each trigger word. And thats public information so thats all I can say publically.

ChiTown
11-17-2006, 09:51 AM
Every time my dinner is late or gets cold, I think about it. Do you have a problem with that?

boogblaster
11-17-2006, 10:05 AM
If US Cellular doesn't get my cell-bill straighten out, Im straping a bomb on one of those stupid "you owe us 1200 dollars for roaming, bitch operaters" and shoving her ass into coroprate headquarters...

Rain Man
11-17-2006, 10:10 AM
I'll just pay some kid to do it for me. I couldn't do it myself, I'm not some whacko.

I like your good old-fashioned American ingenuity.