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View Full Version : ESPY's Award Winners ****SPOILERS****


KChiefs1
07-13-2005, 09:29 PM
ESPY Winners
Male Athlete: Lance Armstrong
Female Athlete: Annika Sorenstam
Team: Boston Red Sox
Coach-Manager: Bill Belichick, New England Patriots
Comeback: Mark Fields, Carolina Panthers
Upset: No. 14 seed Bucknell vs. No. 3 seed Kansas in first round of men's NCAA basketball tournament
Breakthrough Athlete: Dwyane Wade
Game: American League championship series, Game 5, Yankees-Red Sox
Record-breaking Performance: Peyton Manning
Championship Performance: Curt Schilling, 3-1 in baseball playoffs
Play: Minnesota high school player Blake Hoffarber's last-second 3-pointer from flat on his back
Sports Movie: "Friday Night Lights"
Female College Athlete: Cat Osterman
Male College Athlete: Matt Leinart
Moment: Reggie Miller's final NBA game
Female Action Sports Athlete: Sofia Mulanovich, surfing
Male Action Sports Athlete: Dave Mirra, bike stunt
Female Athlete With A Disability: Erin Popovich
Male Athlete With A Disability: Marlon Shirley
Outdoors Sports Athlete: J.R. Salzman
Major League Baseball Player: Albert Pujols
NBA Player: Steve Nash
WNBA Player: Lauren Jackson
Bowler: Walter Ray Williams
Driver: Michael Schumacher
NFL Player: Peyton Manning
Golfer: Tiger Woods
Jockey: Jeremy Rose
Soccer Player: Mia Hamm
Female Tennis Player: Maria Sharapova
Male Tennis Player: Roger Federer
Female Olympic Performance: U.S. softball team
Male Olympic Performance: Michael Phelps
Undeniable Performance: Misty May and Kerri Walsh, won Olympic gold medal in beach volleyball without losing a game
Professional Grade Play: Lance Armstrong, won sixth consecutive Tour de France
Arthur Ashe Courage Award: Emmanuel Ofosu Yeboah and Jim MacLaren

Nelson Muntz
07-13-2005, 10:15 PM
ESPY Winners

Play: Minnesota high school player Blake Hoffarber's last-second 3-pointer from flat on his back



Does anyone have a video of this?

HC_Chief
07-13-2005, 10:18 PM
I still can't believe that fat jaggoff Twitlock tried to say Armstrong isn't an athlete and that anyone can ride a bike. IIRC he said something stupid to the affect of "give me two months and I could ride as well as he does"

Heh, I would LOVE to see him try to pedal his fat ass up the French Alps. NO, strike that, I'd lmao watching him wheeze on a few of the hills out by my house (151st & Mission)

Wile_E_Coyote
07-13-2005, 10:19 PM
I hope Peyton has already had his children, hoardes of adams apples are coated with his seed daily

DJay23
07-13-2005, 10:22 PM
Upset: No. 14 seed Bucknell vs. No. 3 seed Kansas in first round of men's NCAA basketball tournament

Damnit, I had actually managed to repress this deep into my subconscious. ****ing ESPN

For the record, not enough Sharapova.

Coach
07-13-2005, 10:34 PM
Does anyone have a video of this?

Oh man, I remember that kid, who had to get the lose ball and just practically threw it up there, and it went in.

It was a tough shot. It was played all over on ESPN SportsCenter numberous of times.

Simplex3
07-13-2005, 11:00 PM
Female Athlete With A Disability: Erin Popovich
Male Athlete With A Disability: Marlon Shirley
Give me a f**king break. When can we quit sucking the d**k of every cripple and retard in the world?

Tuckdaddy
07-14-2005, 12:11 AM
Give me a f**king break. When can we quit sucking the d**k of every cripple and retard in the world?


You need a hug or at least a role model. That's a pretty rough statement.

DJJasonp
07-14-2005, 12:18 AM
Why do I have this feeling that this "Bucknell" thing isnt going away for a long, long time???

It's kind of like getting over a girl.....and you havent heard her name in a while...then someone mentions her name again.....and it's a knife in your heart all over again.

CosmicPal
07-14-2005, 12:21 AM
You need a hug or at least a role model. That's a pretty rough statement.

No sh*t. Pretty phucking callous, ignorant, and uncouth.

Simplex3
07-14-2005, 12:29 AM
You need a hug or at least a role model. That's a pretty rough statement.
Should we start a spelling bee for retards? There could be a national award.

I'll tell you what I want to know, who is the world's fastest man. In a wheelchair. Who really gives a f**k.

Be honest with yourself. When you clicked on this thread and started down through the winners were you thinking "man, where is the handicapped award?" No, you weren't. When you read the name "Erin Popovich" as the female athlete did you think "bulls**t, Jane Doe's one-legged triple jump was much better"? No, you didn't.

As a matter of fact, you probably haven't heard of either of them. Like me you probably have no clue what the hell it was they did. And, like me, you could kick their ass at whatever they did with a week's worth of training.

I'm not taking away from the fact that they probably worked their ass off to do whatever it was they did, but it cheapens the awards for nothing more than pu**y ass political correctness IMO.

All I did was say it out loud.

CosmicPal
07-14-2005, 12:50 AM
Should we start a spelling bee for retards? There could be a national award.

I'll tell you what I want to know, who is the world's fastest man. In a wheelchair. Who really gives a f**k.



You're an asshole. Big guy you are. You know what dumbphuck- this Marlon Shirley lost his left foot in an accident at the age of five, but he managed to play high school football- most likely better than you could ever jerk off.

The sad fact is, tragedy struck him again when an injury during a football game cost him his leg. But, did he give up and commit himself to a wheelchair cursing life, smoking cigarettes, drinking booze, and ordering skanky prostitutes to give him head - No! His love for sports drove him to the U.S. Paralympics where he owns the world record for the 100 meter dash.

But, what's really sad is- asshats like you ignore someone elses disability in life. I have a phucking disability, you shit for brains. I lost my hearing in my right ear to bacterial meningitis- I was also told I could never play sports- but guess what phucktard- I not only played sports but have won several tourneys in the Midwest for golf, was an all-state LB for football, and won athletic awards in baseball, swimming, basketball, softball, and even phucking billiards.

Marlon and a lot of other peeps, even "retards", have something you don't have- HEART. Gawd, your days must be long, bitter, and lonely when you don't have a heart, dude. I suggest you get one pretty damn quick before some guy in a wheelchair gets out of one and kicks your azz.

Simplex3
07-14-2005, 01:03 AM
You're an asshole.
Never claimed otherwise. I even put a disclaimer in my sig.

...this Marlon Shirley lost his left foot in an accident at the age of five, but he managed to play high school football- most likely better than you could ever jerk off.

The sad fact is, tragedy struck him again when an injury during a football game cost him his leg. But, did he give up and commit himself to a wheelchair cursing life, smoking cigarettes, drinking booze, and ordering skanky prostitutes to give him head - No! His love for sports drove him to the U.S. Paralympics where he owns the world record for the 100 meter dash.
And of course you knew all of this because you followed the sports, not because you looked it up after someone at ESPN told you they were the best handicapped athletes, right? If the casual sports fan hasn't heard of the person there shouldn't be a national award for what they did. The "extreme" sports people included.
But, what's really sad is- asshats like you ignore someone elses disability in life. I have a phucking disability, you shit for brains. I lost my hearing in my right ear to bacterial meningitis- I was also told I could never play sports- but guess what phucktard- I not only played sports but have won several tourneys in the Midwest for golf, was an all-state LB for football, and won athletic awards in baseball, swimming, basketball, softball, and even phucking billiards.
Sounds like you competed with everyone else on a level playing field. THAT has merit. Fat guy sprinting isn't an appealing sport just because it's harder for fat guys to sprint.
Marlon and a lot of other peeps, even "retards", have something you don't have- HEART. Gawd, your days must be long, bitter, and lonely when you don't have a heart, dude. I suggest you get one pretty damn quick before some guy in a wheelchair gets out of one and kicks your azz.
Wow, so I'm not sufficiently feeling sorry for those poor people, huh? I'm sure that's what they're looking for is your heartfelt pity.

luv
07-14-2005, 01:36 AM
Should we start a spelling bee for retards? There could be a national award.

I'll tell you what I want to know, who is the world's fastest man. In a wheelchair. Who really gives a f**k.

Be honest with yourself. When you clicked on this thread and started down through the winners were you thinking "man, where is the handicapped award?" No, you weren't. When you read the name "Erin Popovich" as the female athlete did you think "bulls**t, Jane Doe's one-legged triple jump was much better"? No, you didn't.

As a matter of fact, you probably haven't heard of either of them. Like me you probably have no clue what the hell it was they did. And, like me, you could kick their ass at whatever they did with a week's worth of training.

I'm not taking away from the fact that they probably worked their ass off to do whatever it was they did, but it cheapens the awards for nothing more than pu**y ass political correctness IMO.

All I did was say it out loud.

Just because you don't keep up with certain sports, doesn't mean there aren't others who do. Thousands of people are into extreme sports or action sports or whatever they're calling it. I personally wouldn't have thought I would have seen bowling in there. There are probably more people who go to special olympics events than go to bowling tournaments. You just have to keep things in prespective. These awards are for everyone, even movie goers I guess. Who cares about a sports movie?

Simplex3
07-14-2005, 01:46 AM
Just because you don't keep up with certain sports, doesn't mean there aren't others who do. Thousands of people are into extreme sports or action sports or whatever they're calling it. I personally wouldn't have thought I would have seen bowling in there. There are probably more people who go to special olympics events than go to bowling tournaments. You just have to keep things in prespective. These awards are for everyone, even movie goers I guess. Who cares about a sports movie?
I watch absolutely no baseball but I know who the Red Sox are and why they're there. Women's golf? Never watched any. I know who Annika Sorenstam is, though.

All that obscure crap is insane. If J.R. Salzman was a better athlete wouldn't you think he'd take his game, whatever it is, from "Outdoor Sports" to something that pays? It seems to me that money drives the finest athletes into the sports with the most money. If you're claim is that you're honoring the world's finest athletes then don't cheapen it by adding crap into the mix.

This doesn't affect the fact that after the Special Olympics the kid that won the 50yd dash should get his medal. He should be congratulated. However that doesn't make him one of the world's finest athletes AND THAT IS OK. The 5000th richest man in America shouldn't throw it all away and go live in a box because he isn't the first richest, but he also shouldn't be given an award.

Rausch
07-14-2005, 01:46 AM
There are probably more people who go to special olympics events than go to bowling tournaments.


There's a difference?...

luv
07-14-2005, 01:50 AM
There's a difference?...
ROFL

luv
07-14-2005, 01:54 AM
I watch absolutely no baseball but I know who the Red Sox are and why they're there. Women's golf? Never watched any. I know who Annika Sorenstam is, though.

All that obscure crap is insane. If J.R. Salzman was a better athlete wouldn't you think he'd take his game, whatever it is, from "Outdoor Sports" to something that pays? It seems to me that money drives the finest athletes into the sports with the most money. If you're claim is that you're honoring the world's finest athletes then don't cheapen it by adding crap into the mix.

This doesn't affect the fact that after the Special Olympics the kid that won the 50yd dash should get his medal. He should be congratulated. However that doesn't make him one of the world's finest athletes AND THAT IS OK. The 5000th richest man in America shouldn't throw it all away and go live in a box because he isn't the first richest, but he also shouldn't be given an award.
When it comes to being the richest man, the qualifications are pretty much limited. Whoever has the most cash (or assets) wins. Sure the baseball player who is the best is the best, but could he beat the kid who plays with one leg if he also only had one leg? Different sports, different pay. Who cares? Not everyone is as smart as you and only watches the sports that make the most money. People usually watch the sports where they can relate to the players/athletes the best.

Simplex3
07-14-2005, 01:54 AM
There's a difference?...
Yeah, the Special Olympians train with something other than a six pack of Schlitz.

I was never a "bowling is a sport guy". My sister married a guy that was on KU's bowling team. After hearing him talk about their "training" regimen I can tell you I was right.

Rausch
07-14-2005, 01:59 AM
Yeah, the Special Olympians train with something other than a six pack of Schlitz.

ROFL

KCChiefsMan
07-14-2005, 02:08 AM
I still can't believe that fat jaggoff Twitlock tried to say Armstrong isn't an athlete and that anyone can ride a bike. IIRC he said something stupid to the affect of "give me two months and I could ride as well as he does"

Heh, I would LOVE to see him try to pedal his fat ass up the French Alps. NO, strike that, I'd lmao watching him wheeze on a few of the hills out by my house (151st & Mission)

are you kidding me? he really said that? OMG

Simplex3
07-14-2005, 02:42 AM
When it comes to being the richest man, the qualifications are pretty much limited. Whoever has the most cash (or assets) wins. Sure the baseball player who is the best is the best, but could he beat the kid who plays with one leg if he also only had one leg? Different sports, different pay. Who cares? Not everyone is as smart as you and only watches the sports that make the most money. People usually watch the sports where they can relate to the players/athletes the best.
You could start qualifying "richest man" too. Richest in this industry or another, richest with the poorest parents, richest with a speach impediment, and on and on...

Kind of starts to make it all seem a little less impressive though, doesn't it?

luv
07-14-2005, 02:53 AM
You could start qualifying "richest man" too. Richest in this industry or another, richest with the poorest parents, richest with a speach impediment, and on and on...

Kind of starts to make it all seem a little less impressive though, doesn't it?
Point taken. Just came across as a little harsh in the beginning. All is well.

J Diddy
07-14-2005, 03:10 AM
Point taken. Just came across as a little harsh in the beginning. All is well.


too harsh?

try playing baseball with just one leg.

CosmicPal
07-14-2005, 08:57 AM
Never claimed otherwise. I even put a disclaimer in my sig.



Yea, I should have known better, calling you azzhole is like giving you a cookie. The fact of the matter is, you're a dumbsh*t.

morphius
07-14-2005, 09:09 AM
I still can't believe that fat jaggoff Twitlock tried to say Armstrong isn't an athlete and that anyone can ride a bike. IIRC he said something stupid to the affect of "give me two months and I could ride as well as he does"

Heh, I would LOVE to see him try to pedal his fat ass up the French Alps. NO, strike that, I'd lmao watching him wheeze on a few of the hills out by my house (151st & Mission)
My eyes need absolutly no part in watching Whitlocks fat ass swallow a bike seat, but I guess luckily the sweat running down his ass crack would act as a lubricant to keep his ass from acting like a break as it hangs down rubbing against the rear wheel...

eazyb81
07-14-2005, 09:17 AM
You're an asshole. Big guy you are. You know what dumbphuck- this Marlon Shirley lost his left foot in an accident at the age of five, but he managed to play high school football- most likely better than you could ever jerk off.

The sad fact is, tragedy struck him again when an injury during a football game cost him his leg. But, did he give up and commit himself to a wheelchair cursing life, smoking cigarettes, drinking booze, and ordering skanky prostitutes to give him head - No! His love for sports drove him to the U.S. Paralympics where he owns the world record for the 100 meter dash.

But, what's really sad is- asshats like you ignore someone elses disability in life. I have a phucking disability, you shit for brains. I lost my hearing in my right ear to bacterial meningitis- I was also told I could never play sports- but guess what phucktard- I not only played sports but have won several tourneys in the Midwest for golf, was an all-state LB for football, and won athletic awards in baseball, swimming, basketball, softball, and even phucking billiards.

Marlon and a lot of other peeps, even "retards", have something you don't have- HEART. Gawd, your days must be long, bitter, and lonely when you don't have a heart, dude. I suggest you get one pretty damn quick before some guy in a wheelchair gets out of one and kicks your azz.

:bravo:

Well said.



Simplex, you're an assclown.

jynni
07-14-2005, 09:27 AM
are you kidding me? he really said that? OMG

Yeah - I think it was on "Around the Horn" or one of those shows. I found it very amusing 'cause, as has already been said, I'd love to see him try to pedal a bike down the street, let alone up the French Alps.

I don't think some people quite "get" just what the Tour de France or any of the supreme biking competitions entail. It's not just riding a bike.

alpha_omega
07-14-2005, 09:27 AM
Give me a f**king break. When can we quit sucking the d**k of every cripple and retard in the world?

That's harsh.

HC_Chief
07-14-2005, 09:31 AM
My eyes need absolutly no part in watching Whitlocks fat ass swallow a bike seat, but I guess luckily the sweat running down his ass crack would act as a lubricant to keep his ass from acting like a break as it hangs down rubbing against the rear wheel...

ROFL

bkkcoh
07-14-2005, 10:45 AM
I still can't believe that fat jaggoff Twitlock tried to say Armstrong isn't an athlete and that anyone can ride a bike. IIRC he said something stupid to the affect of "give me two months and I could ride as well as he does"

..

All of the BBQ suace wouldn't be out of his system in 2 months, would it???? :hmmm:

HC_Chief
07-14-2005, 10:50 AM
Heh, the dude obviously hasn't been on a bike in years. If he had been, he would know that accelerating to 20+ mph while going up a steep grade is quite the athletic feat... something he would be incapable of, let alone sustaining for long periods of time.

I can't even imagine accelerating to 60+ kph on a bicycle... and I ride regularly. I know his chubby arse would never be able to do it.

Rain Man
07-14-2005, 11:33 AM
Sounds like you competed with everyone else on a level playing field. THAT has merit. Fat guy sprinting isn't an appealing sport just because it's harder for fat guys to sprint.


Maybe not, but I'd still be interested in watching it.

irishjayhawk
07-14-2005, 12:35 PM
I still can't believe that fat jaggoff Twitlock tried to say Armstrong isn't an athlete and that anyone can ride a bike. IIRC he said something stupid to the affect of "give me two months and I could ride as well as he does"

Heh, I would LOVE to see him try to pedal his fat ass up the French Alps. NO, strike that, I'd lmao watching him wheeze on a few of the hills out by my house (151st & Mission)
Sadly I have to agree. Sure it takes training, but riding a bike doesn't show as much talent as say hitting a 90mph fastball 400 yards, tackling a running back heading straight at you, serving up dekes while skating etc etc. It is one motion.

That isn't taking away from his feat, but thats one angle to look at it.

keg in kc
07-14-2005, 12:38 PM
hitting a 90mph fastball 400 yards, Now that would be something to see. A 1200 foot homerun.


This whole argument is the old "sports vs. athletics" thing, as far as I can tell. I tend to think that there are lots of things that I don't consider sports, but I do consider to be athletic events that require skill and years of practice. I think I'm maybe biased against individual events (although I know he's part of a "team"), and prefer team oriented stuff like football and baseball. But that doesn't make what he does any less impressive. He's a world class athlete who's literally dominated every other world class athlete in his field for nearly 3/4 of a decade. After surviving cancer, to boot.

And something tells me that there's a fair chance that, were armstrong black, twhit might say he's underappreciated.

DJay23
07-14-2005, 01:16 PM
My buddy was telling me about a show he saw on Lance Armstrong. They did testing on his muscles, and apparently he can metabolize protein much faster and rid his muscles of lactic acid much faster than the average person. He's simply and genetically a phenomenal athlete.

Brock
07-14-2005, 01:21 PM
I was going to say who cares about the Espies, but now I just wanna say "Simplex, you're an ASSHOLE!!!" :p

HC_Chief
07-14-2005, 01:35 PM
My buddy was telling me about a show he saw on Lance Armstrong. They did testing on his muscles, and apparently he can metabolize protein much faster and rid his muscles of lactic acid much faster than the average person. He's simply and genetically a phenomenal athlete.

With an at-rest heart rate < 40. :eek:

Simplex3
07-14-2005, 01:37 PM
I was going to say who cares about the Espies, but now I just wanna say "Simplex, you're an ASSHOLE!!!" :p
Following the herd, eh? ;)