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mcan
07-14-2005, 06:26 PM
Here's the story. I have a couple of friends that I've known since junior high. Both are true friends, and I believe that I'll never lose touch with them.

I hadn't talked with my friend Mike in a long time, but the other night I went over to his place with Angela (most of you know her). It was the first time I'd seen his new place. He lives there with his fiance. While we were over there, Mike told me he was getting really frustrated with our mutual friend Joe. Mikes upset because Joe "never" calls him back unless he is asking for a favor. Mike's a mechanic, so Joe sometimes asks him if he can do some minor work to his car, or to help him move or something. Joe, on the other hand, just got engaged himself and now has a new place with his fiance by the Plaza, and has a morning job. He's also doing a lot of local theatre. So, they are both really busy. Mike works in excess of 60 hours a week, and Joe has like three things going all the time.

So, yesterday I call Joe up (and leave a message) basically giving him a heads up that Mike is upset and that he might want to call Mike and maybe get some dinner or whatever and talk it out.

Today, I get a message from Joe on my phone. Basically, it was a 'thanks for the heads up... I don't know what Mike's problem is... I've called him twice since he's called me... Now he's got you calling me like his Mom... I'm having a party on Saturday...'

My question to the board is: How hard do you guys work on your friendships when everybody is really busy? How often do you meet up with your same sex friends? How important are your friendships and relationships outside of your wife, girlfriend, family? How often do most people run into these kinds of issues, and how hard do you work to resolve them?

Sorry for the long post. But, since these guys are my oldest friends, it got me wondering...

Joe Seahawk
07-14-2005, 06:33 PM
I'm assuming you, Mike and Joe are girls??

:)

chiefs4me
07-14-2005, 06:34 PM
Your family always comes first...I have a best friend of 25 years that I only see 3 or 4 times a year, but we talk every week. People change and get very busy with work,kids,extended family... it doesn't mean you are not friends, just busy.

ps...friends don't have to work at being friends...;)

jspchief
07-14-2005, 06:34 PM
Welcome to adult life.

keg in kc
07-14-2005, 06:36 PM
This should be interesting.How hard do you guys work on your friendships when everybody is really busy?I have never cared about having friends. How often do you meet up with your same sex friends?Never. How important are your friendships and relationships outside of your wife, girlfriend, family?Not at all. How often do most people run into these kinds of issues, and how hard do you work to resolve them?I'm not most people, obviously.

I'd say f*ck 'em all. It's a waste of time. But people tell me I'm weird.

Nzoner
07-14-2005, 06:37 PM
ps...friends don't have to work at being friends...;)

:BS:

Rain Man
07-14-2005, 06:40 PM
Welcome to adult life.

Yep.

I miss my friends, but between my company and their kids and everything else in between, I see my best friends (in town) maybe a couple of times a year, and I talk to my best out of town friends maybe a couple of times a year as well. We'll generally e-mail each other a few times a year, both in-town friends and out-of-town friends.

It really kind of stinks, but it's hard to fix. Earlier this year, it took over four months to get a dinner arranged with a couple that we're friends with. FOUR MONTHS!

DJay23
07-14-2005, 06:41 PM
I'm the last of my friends to be single. It's hard to not call my buddies up and see if they just want to hang out. I can't just do that all the time though because they have wives, husbands, kids, girlfriends, fiances, etc.

Luckily, I work with some of my closest friends at school. That leaves the summer pretty wide open and sometimes boring. During the summer, I guess I see my closest friends at least once a week, depending on what's going on.

My best friend from high school though, who's wedding I was best man at, moved about an hour and a half away. I've seen him twice this year. Kinda sucks when everyone grows up and moves on.

Simplex3
07-14-2005, 06:47 PM
I'm assuming you, Mike and Joe are girls??

:)
That's exactly what I was thinking.

Simplex3
07-14-2005, 06:49 PM
This should be interesting.I have never cared about having friends.Never.Not at all.I'm not most people, obviously.

I'd say f*ck 'em all. It's a waste of time. But people tell me I'm weird.
Holy crap! My long lost brother?!?!

I have business contacts and a few people I will IM when I'm bored. I'll bet I don't see my friends more than once or twice a year.

Iowanian
07-14-2005, 07:26 PM
you sound like a bunch of women...Maybe you should all get together for a mud bath or something.


I'm at a point in my life, where "Friends" that 5-7 years ago, I'd have knocked a train off of its tracks to defend their name, We barely speak 5' apart in a bar. I don't respect them anymore for things they've done and finally see some things more clearly. I'm social when we see each other, and I suppose if they were in real trouble, Something in me would flare up and defend/help them, even though, they're probably the asshole.

I have another HS Friend I hadn't spoken to in 10 years....he moved and got busy..never comes home...yadayadayada...I called him last year out of the blue because I was having a meeting near his town...after 2 minutes of catching up, it was like we'd gone fishing last saturday. A true Friend.

People Change...Friends come and go in my experience. I found that the only people I can REALLy count on when the Chips are on the line is family(in my case). Wife, Brothers, cousins et al.

Then again....maybe its just me, and I'm not that likeable....maybe I'm just the guy they always knew they could call when they were in trouble at 4am, and knew I'd come.

Whatever you do....just don't be Chics about it.

Shit happens...walk it off, crack a beer and do something that gets your hands dirty.

Douche Baggins
07-14-2005, 07:31 PM
I find shooting my friends in the head online is a great stress relief.

cdcox
07-14-2005, 07:39 PM
In the 25 years since I started college I've had maybe 12 other men that I've considered close friends. Right now I'm in frequent contact with 3 of them. With any of them I could pick up where we left off in 5 minutes. Life gets in the way of keeping things going. If I go a stretch without having a close friend, it is not a big deal.

mcan
07-14-2005, 08:14 PM
As far as us acting like "chicks"

-This isn't an emotional baggage kinda thing. These guys are like brothers to me, and I'd do anything for them. I'd seriously take a bullet for either of them.

I just think that the only thing in life that is truly important is our friendships. I believe that friendships even supercede family. Ideally, your family members are friends as well (my brother is my best friend). I have cousins that I am fond of, but I wouldn't probably be "friends" with them if they weren't family. Those are the same cousins that I see once or twice a year and it's no big deal.

ChiTown
07-14-2005, 08:22 PM
I see my BEST friend every morning when I wake up. Sometimes we don't even talk until dinner time. Best part is, we are also friends with benefits. :)

Sorry, I can't answer your question cuz I've never worked real hard at friendships. It just happens and takes care of itself. Then again, I have a really cool and understanding set of friends. They know I'm a prick and just deal with it :)

angel
07-14-2005, 08:27 PM
Mike is mostly upset because when Matt (mcan), Joe and I moved into our apartment in Manhattan, it was Mike, our friends Joanna and Austin and myself who did the moving. Joe and Matt were busy or something. When Mike moved into his new place recently, he called Joe to help him move since he had moved all Joe's stuff to Manhattan for him. Joe said that he would rather not since he had just opened a bottle of wine and was planning on spending the evening in... alone... in his parent's basement.
When Joe just moved last week into his new place, he called Mike to help, which Mike did.
Mike is upset because over the last few months, he's heard from Joe a total of three times, all of which to either help him move or help with his car. Mike has called Joe a number of times to hang out, but Joe never calls him back.
Today, I was talking to Mike, and Joe called (apparently because of the head's up Matt gave him) to invite him to the party Saturday. The funny thing is, he invited Mike to the party then asked if he could look at his car because the AC was messed up.
This sent Mike over the edge.

I'm sure all of you here don't care, but I wanted Matt to see what Joe did with the heads up.

By the way- I'm not for Mike's notion of "cutting all ties", but I think they need to talk... like "chicks"... this out.

Skip Towne
07-14-2005, 08:28 PM
you sound like a bunch of women...Maybe you should all get together for a mud bath or something.


I'm at a point in my life, where "Friends" that 5-7 years ago, I'd have knocked a train off of its tracks to defend their name, We barely speak 5' apart in a bar. I don't respect them anymore for things they've done and finally see some things more clearly. I'm social when we see each other, and I suppose if they were in real trouble, Something in me would flare up and defend/help them, even though, they're probably the asshole.

I have another HS Friend I hadn't spoken to in 10 years....he moved and got busy..never comes home...yadayadayada...I called him last year out of the blue because I was having a meeting near his town...after 2 minutes of catching up, it was like we'd gone fishing last saturday. A true Friend.

People Change...Friends come and go in my experience. I found that the only people I can REALLy count on when the Chips are on the line is family(in my case). Brothers, cousins et al.

Then again....maybe its just me, and I'm not that likeable....maybe I'm just the guy they always knew they could call when they were in trouble at 4am, and knew I'd come.

Whatever you do....just don't be Chics about it.

Shit happens...walk it off, crack a beer and do something that gets your hands dirty.
Most of us need friends. We don't have 64 uncles like you do.

Rain Man
07-14-2005, 08:35 PM
So no one told you life was gonna be this way
Your job's a joke, you're broke, your love life's DOA
It's like you're always stuck in second gear,
When it hasn't been your day, your week, your month,
or even your year, but...

I'll be there for you...
When the rain starts to pour
I'll be there for you...
Like I've been there before
I'll be there for you...
'Cause you're there for me too.

You're still in bed at ten, though work begins at eight,
You burned your breakfast, so far things are going great,
Your mother warned you there'd be days like these,
But she didn't tell you
when the world was brought down to your knees
that...

I'll be there for you...
When the rain starts to pour
I'll be there for you...
Like I've been there before
I'll be there for you...
'Cause you're there for me too.

No one could ever know me. No one could ever see me.
Seems your the only one who knows what it's like to be me
Someone to face the day with.
Make it through all the mess with.
Someone I'll always laugh with.
Even at my worst, I'm best with....
you - yeah

It's like you're always stuck in second gear,
When it hasn't been your day, your week, your month,
or even your year, but...

I'll be there for you...
When the rain starts to pour
I'll be there for you...
Like I've been there before
I'll be there for you...
'Cause you're there for me too... (unless you're Iowanian in which case he's gone bailing a cousin out of jail or something)

ChiTown
07-14-2005, 08:39 PM
Most of us need friends. We don't have 64 uncles like you do.

I don't naayed no fkn frayends. I got me some Booooosch Lite. BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRP! and a full slate of 70's Porn.

Iowanian
07-14-2005, 08:58 PM
So, these guys are gay, aren't they...?

Definitely Jr High Chic stuff.

Brock
07-14-2005, 08:58 PM
NTTAWWT

Iowanian
07-14-2005, 09:03 PM
I'm wagering they are...

Bickering over who didn't call who, theater, drinking wine...

Friends are a good thing, it just seems that I've found that alot of them have a shelf life. Those who have the same buddies and remain tight after 20-30+ years are both lucky, and rare in comodity.

eventually, Alot of Friends become Aquaintences.

Nzoner
07-14-2005, 09:07 PM
I'm wagering they are...

Bickering over who didn't call who, theater, drinking wine...



living by the plaaaza could qualify as well.

Iowanian
07-14-2005, 09:08 PM
"Sthop it nthzoner..like I wazth gonna like drink thisth lastht Zeeeema"

"huh uh, Iowanian...If you do, I'm totally not inviting you over for the facial party....we're serving 11 types of cheethes"

"Whatever, we're totally not BF4E now"

chagrin
07-14-2005, 09:13 PM
I'm speechless, unbelieveable

keg in kc
07-14-2005, 09:15 PM
I see my BEST friend every morning when I wake up. Sometimes we don't even talk until dinner time. So...you're saying your penis is your best friend, right? What's so unusual about that?

Iowanian
07-14-2005, 09:19 PM
Here's how Lumberjack buddies quarrel

"hey Earl..gonna help me move saturday, I'll get a box of beer"
"I'd like to Bud, since you helped me move the Nova last week, but I was gong to take my wife shopping"

"sumbitch"
"what"
"Help me or I'll hit you in the nuts wiht a chainsaw"
"what time ya startin?"

ChiTown
07-14-2005, 09:26 PM
So...you're saying your penis is your best friend, right? What's so unusual about that?


Not a gawdamn thing, so stop overanalyzing me :cuss:

mcan
07-14-2005, 09:26 PM
They are both getting married to girls, so no, they aren't gay... We aren't exactly He-Man though. So, we like theatre, and don't find it fun to get into fights at a bar...


Angel,
Two things:

1. My "heads up" to Joe didn't get into detail at all about Mike being upset about the car stuff or the moving.

2. I'm pretty sure that Joe had already invited Mike to the party when he got my message. But this situation is just an example. I'm more interested in the general question: "how important are everybodies friends" than I am about working out Joe and Mike's issues on a public forum that Joe and Mike aren't a part of...

Iowanian
07-14-2005, 09:28 PM
They won't fight you in a bar, but you'll get one bitch of a scratchin' if you burn the Keish

I'd tell them to walk it off.

My friends are important...I'll give a friend the shirt off my back if they need it...especially if they've helped me out before, but I'll fish alone before I dealt with that petty, bullshit.

Nzoner
07-14-2005, 09:28 PM
"Sthop it nthzoner..like I wazth gonna like drink thisth lastht Zeeeema"

"huh uh, Iowanian...If you do, I'm totally not inviting you over for the facial party....we're serving 11 types of cheethes"

"Whatever, we're totally not BF4E now"

This poth is 2 snaps up

http://valdefierro.com/ilc44f.jpg

angel
07-14-2005, 09:30 PM
"Sthop it nthzoner..like I wazth gonna like drink thisth lastht Zeeeema"

"huh uh, Iowanian...If you do, I'm totally not inviting you over for the facial party....we're serving 11 types of cheethes"

"Whatever, we're totally not BF4E now"


that sounds just like them... uncanny... well, replace the names a bit, and it does...

keg in kc
07-14-2005, 09:31 PM
Where's Dr. Phil when you need him? Or maybe Dr. Laura?

angel
07-14-2005, 09:31 PM
They are both getting married to girls, so no, they aren't gay... We aren't exactly He-Man though. So, we like theatre, and don't find it fun to get into fights at a bar...


Angel,
Two things:

1. My "heads up" to Joe didn't get into detail at all about Mike being upset about the car stuff or the moving.

2. I'm pretty sure that Joe had already invited Mike to the party when he got my message. But this situation is just an example. I'm more interested in the general question: "how important are everybodies friends" than I am about working out Joe and Mike's issues on a public forum that Joe and Mike aren't a part of...
well, to answer your general question:
my friends are very important to me

that's why I call them more than three times in four months and for more than just to help with car issues and to help me move


hehe

keg in kc
07-14-2005, 09:32 PM
well, to answer your general question:
my friends are very important to me

that's why I call them more than three times in four months and for more than just to help with car issues and to help me moveIf I had friends, I would value them in terms of how much stuff they can do for me. Does that make me shallow?

Brock
07-14-2005, 09:34 PM
If I had friends, I would value them in terms of how much stuff they can do for me. Does that make me shallow?

What else are they good for?

angel
07-14-2005, 09:34 PM
If I had friends, I would value them in terms of how much stuff they can do for me. Does that make me shallow?
no, that makes you a lot like my friend Joe...


sorry, Matt, I couldn't stop myself


I'm not taking sides or anything, either

keg in kc
07-14-2005, 09:34 PM
What else are they good for?I don't know. I was hoping someone could enlighten me.

Nzoner
07-14-2005, 09:37 PM
no, that makes you a lot like my friend Joe...


heh,and you're the one who wants one of us to take you to a game for your company. :D

Iowanian
07-14-2005, 09:37 PM
he said she said that Ah said he said she said what?! Oh No he dih'n't.


Remind me not to look for those guys at Deer Camp.

angel
07-14-2005, 09:39 PM
heh,and you're the one who wants one of us to take you to a game for your company. :D
I was being funny

humor: one of the many perks of my presence with you at an upcoming Chiefs game

keg in kc
07-14-2005, 09:40 PM
I was being funny

humor: one of the many perks of my presence with you at an upcoming Chiefs gameYou'll have to do better than that. If we want funny we'll look at pictures of ENDelt. Or mcan, come to think of it.

angel
07-14-2005, 09:43 PM
You'll have to do better than that. If we want funny we'll look at pictures of ENDelt. Or mcan, come to think of it.
hehe, yeah, they are pretty funny looking... hehe


yeah, about the other thing, I got nothing- just my charming personality and girl-next-door good looks, that's all, nothing else to offer

Iowanian
07-14-2005, 09:45 PM
Nothing Else?

Tell him about how you can solve a rubix cube using only your Kegle muscles.

ChiTown
07-14-2005, 09:46 PM
Nothing Else?

Tell him about how you can solve a rubix cube using only your Kegle muscles.


ROFL SOLD!

keg in kc
07-14-2005, 09:46 PM
yeah, about the other thing, I got nothing- just my charming personality and girl-next-door good looks, that's all, nothing else to offerWell, hey, you should bathe in the glory of that. That's more than some folks have.

Gotta say I don't mind not having the girl-next-door looks, though, come to think of it.

Nzoner
07-14-2005, 09:48 PM
yeah, about the other thing, I got nothing- just my charming personality and girl-next-door good looks, that's all, nothing else to offer

Looks like I'll be taking Phil,Endelt etc to a game at least I get some free beer outta the deal.

keg in kc
07-14-2005, 09:49 PM
Looks like I'll be taking Phil,Endelt etc to a game at least I get some free beer outta the deal.Phil'll flash you some skin, too. If he's drunk enough.

Mosbonian
07-14-2005, 09:51 PM
I've come to learn that my best friends have been with me for 22 years, 13 years and 9 years respectively.....(wife, son & daughter)

I've had what I thought were best friends whom I found out were happy to be friends as long as there was something to gain from me. Once I no longer was of any benefit to them the invites disappeared, the e-mails lessened, and I got the message.

Sad to say that I have learned a valuable lesson in my life....that your "outside the family" friends are just ships passing thru your life and the more you treat them that way, the less disappointed you may become when they show their true colors.

I have mentor's, people whom I have enountered in my business life that I respect. I keep in touch with them as much as needed, and have found that these are the strongest relationships that I need outside my family.

mmaddog
*******

Nzoner
07-14-2005, 09:53 PM
Phil'll flash you some skin, too. If he's drunk enough.

drunk hell,just ask mrs nzoner

dirk digler
07-14-2005, 10:16 PM
I don't know what happened, either I became anti-social or life got in the way but I don't talk with alot of my friends that I grew up with, went to high school with, or college with. It is kind of depressing now that I think about it. My family and my work is my life and the guys that I see that still live here are more like acquaintances(sp) than friends.

My true best friend we talk several times a year but his wife just had twins 6 months ago so it is really hard to go see them and plan anything.

As far as my college friends I wouldn't know how to get a hold of them if I tried. We all stayed in touch for 2-3 yrs after college but that was 10 yrs ago.

Mr. Kotter
07-14-2005, 10:52 PM
In the 25 years since I started college I've had maybe 12 other men that I've considered close friends. Right now I'm in frequent contact with 3 of them. With any of them I could pick up where we left off in 5 minutes. Life gets in the way of keeping things going. If I go a stretch without having a close friend, it is not a big deal.

That's pretty much my response....except when life throws you the curves, it's nice to have someone to shoot the breeze with over a few beers. That's therapeutic for me....but other things work for other folks.

Phobia
07-14-2005, 10:59 PM
I see my old, old friends when I get back to my hometown once a year or thereabouts. I see my USMC buddies even less frequently, but there's one in particular where we make no effort to stay in touch but he'll come around every couple years and it's just like we were best friends forever. I have a similar relationship with a friend from Houston. He could easily be my big brother and when we get together over a beer, bring a mattress because you WILL fall off a barstool laughing.

I dunno, I don't go out of my way to stay in touch with friends. We're friends and we all have an understanding, I suppose. It's really hard to articulate true friendship. The bonds we make growing up are incredibly strong. Our adult friends may come and go, they may use us or we them, but there's something special about those kids you knew K-12 I think. I dunno WTF I'm talking about, though.

Then there are friendships I've made from acquaintances on this board. I fancy Bob Dole a pretty good friend online and offline. We have a lot of common interests. Obviously ENDelt and I are pretty tight. There are others. They know who they are. I have a good time with almost anybody I hang with....

Hell, am I still typing?

mcan
07-14-2005, 11:02 PM
You'll have to do better than that. If we want funny we'll look at pictures of ENDelt. Or mcan, come to think of it.


What pictures of me do you have Keg? Just the one I posted on the pic thread awhile back, or do you have this humorous gem?

Anton
07-14-2005, 11:06 PM
...Then there are friendships I've made from acquaintances on this board. I fancy Bob Dole a pretty good friend online and offline. We have a lot of common interests. Obviously ENDelt and I are pretty tight. There are others. They know who they are. I have a good time with almost anybody I hang with....

Hell, am I still typing?

You and Brian, are tight? Well.... :harumph:

You said I was special. I guess, I'll assume I am one of those "you know who they are" types.....because we have certainly had thome good, good times... :thailor:

excessive
07-14-2005, 11:23 PM
I've got two friends I've known since, well, forever, or at least second grade, which ever comes first. Whatever is, is. And that's that.

Rausch
07-14-2005, 11:26 PM
Sad to say that I have learned a valuable lesson in my life....that your "outside the family" friends are just ships passing thru your life and the more you treat them that way, the less disappointed you may become when they show their true colors.


mmaddog
*******

Or forget to pm you back about bball tickets! :cuss:

|Zach|
07-14-2005, 11:28 PM
I have been blessed with amazing friends. I have no idea who I would be without their support through out the years. I feel very lucky.

Rausch
07-14-2005, 11:30 PM
I have been blessed with amazing friends. I have no idea who I would be without their support through out the years. I feel very lucky.

Yeah, about that. I didn't know you were a bowler.

Sure, I should have seen the signs...but I guess I just didn't want to.

I don't think it's gonna' work out man...Sorry.

|Zach|
07-14-2005, 11:31 PM
Yeah, about that. I didn't know you were a bowler.

Sure, I should have seen the signs...but I guess I just didn't want to.

I don't think it's gonna' work out man...Sorry.
Ha, you know what is strange? It has been a year and a half since I have rolled a single bowling ball.

excessive
07-14-2005, 11:31 PM
I feel very lucky.

same here. good people.

|Zach|
07-14-2005, 11:32 PM
same here. good people.
:thumb: Welcome to Chiefs Planet.

Mr. Kotter
07-14-2005, 11:33 PM
same here. good people.

Afghan Gold, Royal Creme, or Santa Maria tonight....? :hmmm:

Rausch
07-14-2005, 11:37 PM
Ha, you know what is strange? It has been a year and a half since I have rolled a single bowling ball.

It's good to see you're getting help...

excessive
07-14-2005, 11:41 PM
thanks, zach

I've been mostly lurking, a few replies.

This is a good thread. It'll do until football starts.

Rausch
07-14-2005, 11:44 PM
thanks, zach

I've been mostly lurking, a few replies.

This is a good thread. It'll do until football starts.

I've taken to landscaping the yard until every ****ing blade of grass is gone. Slowly. So by this time next year I'll no longer have to cut the $#it...

Just got done with some banana plants and bright red hibiscus, plan to put in some........um.........nevermind.

Mr. Kotter
07-14-2005, 11:45 PM
thanks, zach

I've been mostly lurking, a few replies.

This is a good thread. It'll do until football starts.

Welcome, excessive....I was just flippin' you crap with that last post of mine, based on your sig....heh.

If you are a Chiefs/NFL fan....you'll enjoy this place--especially during the season. :)