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Rain Man
07-17-2005, 05:18 PM
I go to the grocery store this morning, the surface of my mind skipping across mundane things like razor blades and root beer. I won't say that I was hoping we would meet, and I won't say that was hoping otherwise. I can't deny, though, that the thought was there, swimming beneath the surface.

Once again, she is there for me. It happens at the back of the store, the same place as before, the place where my heart always beats a little faster now, and probably always will. I am pushing my cart, trying to stay low-key, and there she is, back with the juices, glowing with a sheen of sweat on this hot day.

I take a deep breath, and ever so slowly approach. She doesn't move. Twenty feet...ten feet... and then... ever so slowly to five feet, my padded sandals tracing slowly and quietly across the industrial tile floor, my legs quivering with some instinctive order to run, to avoid the inevitable pain that I know will arrive when we are no longer together.

It shouldn't be like this. True love should have a permanency about it. It should come with a guarantee, however implicit, that you will each be there for the other for all time. It shouldn't be a temporary fling that eventually leaves you alone, thirsting for what you can no longer have.

I'm three feet away now. A droplet of sweat rolls down her front, and I want more than anything to lean toward her and lick it off, to run my tongue up her and taste her sweetness. I cannot, though. Not here, not now.

I step forward. "Hello," I whisper. She remains silent, but I can tell that she's happy, in the way that all lovers can read each other.

I touch her, and it's all real. The memories, the good times, the magical moments that have come to define our relationship. I want to yell, "I love you, Welch's Passionfruit Juice Mix! I love you!", but at this moment, lost in each other's presence, our thoughts are moving inward.

Even her name speaks of love. Passionfruit. My mind bursts forth with memories of other times, of hot summer nights with just me and her, where she is posing seductively in that little lime green tumbler, and I drink in her lovely vision.

But it's wrong! It's wrong! There is no market for passionfruit juice! Consumers won't support it! I know what it will be like. We will be together, and we will be blissful, and we will be serene, and then, without warning, someone in White Plains, New York, will look at some numbers and a chart and he will take you away from me, never to return.

How can I love you when I know that we will be wrenched apart? How can I enjoy our time together, knowing that eventually I will have to live without you? Orange juice will never replace you, and grape juice is not even a mere shadow of your essence. You are the one that I want, and there shall be no other.

Please, Mr. Welch's Man. Please don't take her away from me.

Herzig
07-17-2005, 05:21 PM
I still miss Jello Pudding Pops...

[Insert crude jokes here]

Count Alex's Losses
07-17-2005, 05:22 PM
ROFL

Rain Man
07-17-2005, 05:23 PM
I still miss Jello Pudding Pops...

[Insert crude jokes here]


Did the two of you share the passion of a thousand suns?

luv
07-17-2005, 05:24 PM
I would shorten this to just "Please don't take away the Passionfruit" before sending it to Welch's. We already know you're certifiable, but I don't think everyone needs to know. :p

luv
07-17-2005, 05:24 PM
I still miss Jello Pudding Pops...

[Insert crude jokes here]
Oh man, why did you have to mention those. I'm going to start missing them now, too. :deevee:

Herzig
07-17-2005, 05:27 PM
Oh man, why did you have to mention those. I'm going to start missing them now, too. :deevee:

Why did they ever stop making those? Anyone know?

Rain Man
07-17-2005, 05:29 PM
You people and your cheap tawdry pudding pop affairs.

Herzig
07-17-2005, 05:30 PM
You people and your cheap tawdry pudding pop affairs.

Passionfruit just doesn't do it for me Kevin. ROFL

luv
07-17-2005, 05:36 PM
You people and your cheap tawdry pudding pop affairs.
Would you rather us have affairs with the same thing you are? Wouldn't that cheapen it for you somehow?

Rain Man
07-17-2005, 05:38 PM
Would you rather us have affairs with the same thing you are? Wouldn't that cheapen it for you somehow?

Actually, it probably would lower the price a little, what with economies of scale and all...but go away! The passionfruit is mine! All mine!

But wait. If more people have her, she might stay around. But if more people have her, it won't be just the two of us any more.

Doomed! Our love is doomed!

luv
07-17-2005, 05:40 PM
Actually, it probably would lower the price a little, what with economies of scale and all...but go away! The passionfruit is mine! All mine!

But wait. If more people have her, she might stay around. But if more people have her, it won't be just the two of us any more.

Doomed! Our love is doomed!
ROFL

Skip Towne
07-17-2005, 05:46 PM
Not bad. I liked the girl at the C-store story better.

Rain Man
07-17-2005, 05:47 PM
Not bad. I liked the girl at the C-store story better.

Sorry. Passionfruit doesn't have nipples, though.

Electric
07-17-2005, 05:48 PM
I go to the grocery store this morning, the surface of my mind skipping across mundane things like razor blades and root beer. I won't say that I was hoping we would meet, and I won't say that was hoping otherwise. I can't deny, though, that the thought was there, swimming beneath the surface.

Once again, she is there for me. It happens at the back of the store, the same place as before, the place where my heart always beats a little faster now, and probably always will. I am pushing my cart, trying to stay low-key, and there she is, back with the juices, glowing with a sheen of sweat on this hot day.

I take a deep breath, and ever so slowly approach. She doesn't move. Twenty feet...ten feet... and then... ever so slowly to five feet, my padded sandals tracing slowly and quietly across the industrial tile floor, my legs quivering with some instinctive order to run, to avoid the inevitable pain that I know will arrive when we are no longer together.

It shouldn't be like this. True love should have a permanency about it. It should come with a guarantee, however implicit, that you will each be there for the other for all time. It shouldn't be a temporary fling that eventually leaves you alone, thirsting for what you can no longer have.

I'm three feet away now. A droplet of sweat rolls down her front, and I want more than anything to lean toward her and lick it off, to run my tongue up her and taste her sweetness. I cannot, though. Not here, not now.

I step forward. "Hello," I whisper. She remains silent, but I can tell that she's happy, in the way that all lovers can read each other.

I touch her, and it's all real. The memories, the good times, the magical moments that have come to define our relationship. I want to yell, "I love you, Welch's Passionfruit Juice Mix! I love you!", but at this moment, lost in each other's presence, our thoughts are moving inward.

Even her name speaks of love. Passionfruit. My mind bursts forth with memories of other times, of hot summer nights with just me and her, where she is posing seductively in that little lime green tumbler, and I drink in her lovely vision.

But it's wrong! It's wrong! There is no market for passionfruit juice! Consumers won't support it! I know what it will be like. We will be together, and we will be blissful, and we will be serene, and then, without warning, someone in White Plains, New York, will look at some numbers and a chart and he will take you away from me, never to return.

How can I love you when I know that we will be wrenched apart? How can I enjoy our time together, knowing that eventually I will have to live without you? Orange juice will never replace you, and grape juice is not even a mere shadow of your essence. You are the one that I want, and there shall be no other.

Please, Mr. Welch's Man. Please don't take her away from me.

You have way too much time on your hands. (I hope that's all that you have on your hands!!)

patteeu
07-17-2005, 06:05 PM
I was expecting an update on the hot little coed that you were grooming for big things when she dumped you for the engineering job across the street. But this was good too. You're right though, passionfruit will never last.

mcan
07-17-2005, 06:05 PM
Well I think it's beautiful. Good luck to you Rain Man, and you two have my blessings.


Of course, I know what it's like to be misunderstood. I was in love once... :(


http://www.chefted.com/images/orangehead.jpg

Simplex3
07-17-2005, 06:10 PM
I know I've lost favorite foods before but I'll be damned if I can remember any of them right now. The memories were so painful my mind has blocked them as a self-defense mechanism.

Anybody know hypnosis?

luv
07-17-2005, 06:13 PM
I know I've lost favorite foods before but I'll be damned if I can remember any of them right now. The memories were so painful my mind has blocked them as a self-defense mechanism.

Anybody know hypnosis?
I'll hypnotize you. :evil:

4th and Long
07-17-2005, 06:14 PM
I know I've lost favorite foods before but I'll be damned if I can remember any of them right now. The memories were so painful my mind has blocked them as a self-defense mechanism.

Anybody know hypnosis?
http://www.drfun.com/ani/pend.gif
Concentrate on the watch.
http://www.drfun.com/ani/pend.gif
Clear your mind.
http://www.drfun.com/ani/pend.gif
You are no longer a slave to internet propaganda.
http://www.drfun.com/ani/pend.gif
You will purchase as many goods from Wal-Mart as you can while shunning other stores at all costs.
http://www.drfun.com/ani/pend.gif

4th and Long
07-17-2005, 06:15 PM
I'll hypnotize you. :evil:
Crap. I bet her object of hypnosis is better than my watch. :(

Skip Towne
07-17-2005, 06:20 PM
I know I've lost favorite foods before but I'll be damned if I can remember any of them right now. The memories were so painful my mind has blocked them as a self-defense mechanism.

Anybody know hypnosis?
Yeah, I lost salt rising bread.

Simplex3
07-17-2005, 06:36 PM
I'll hypnotize you. :evil:
I believe my response falls in the "crazy, not stupid" category.